Sharer issue - am I being unreasonable??

[Hippona]

IMO.....he's got a horse to do with as he wishes for a nominal fee. Surely along with the plusses comes the downside of chores, it's all part of having horses and to my mind it's the whole package or nowt.

I poo pick daily....it would be a must-do for me. Plus you're pregnant...it's a no-brainer surely?

 

[Perfect_Pirouette]

I need some advice from you helpful people.....I have a bit of a dilemma with the person sharing/part loaning one of my horses and need some advice as to how to go about speaking to him about it without causing any upset.

I am 6 months pregnant and therefore unable to ride. I think my sharer is great and a lovely guy - he’s been riding my horse since May and gets on brilliantly with him and is teaching him a lot (very green TB). We recently moved yards to a new place as the last place had no facilities and it was better for the horse and sharer so he can hack out etc. Each horse has their own small paddock so we have 2 paddocks - my 2 boys share one whilst the other is rested and they are rotated each week. The turnout is across the road from the main yard (couple of mins walk). My sharer has carte blanche to do whatever he wants with my horse – he can ride 7 days a week as far as I am concerned, hack, jump etc etc and I’ve told him to basically treat him as his own. I haven’t asked for any money towards his keep/shoes etc although he has agreed to start paying me from this month which will be a big help but having help and someone who’ll look after my boy is more important to me. He’s obviously looking at it as a long term thing as he’s already planning on events for next year which from my point of view is great as I really like him and my horse has come on loads since he’s been riding him.

Upto now I have been able to keep on top of jobs like poo picking, fetching water etc across myself but now am really starting to struggle. The boys are both out 24/7 currently so really that’s the only ‘chores’ which need to be done. I’m trying to poo pick the fields daily otherwise it’s a big job for me in my condition. When I got there yesterday he was on his way out on a hack, so I filled the waters up (which is a killer for me) and did the field (although he pushed the full barrow back to the yard after putting the horse back out). After that he said he needed to get home however the field still needed to be finished and more water taken over – so I was left doing that when he went. When I got home I was knackered and in a lot of pain. If I ask him to do these jobs he will do them - and that's the niggle - I feel like have to ask. I don’t expect him to do it every day but feel like I am nagging by asking, and that if I didn’t ask it just wouldn’t get done or would be left to me. I also get the feeling that he thinks I’m being a bit OTT by doing the field everyday but as I say it’s a lot easier to keep on top of then. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that I shouldn’t have to ask for this stuff to be done – should it be automatically on his radar to do it anyway or is that just me??

So basically I need to speak to him about it and ask him to do more - I do have high standards when it comes to looking after my boys and like things to be done well and I can’t leave a job half done (hence having to finish the field last night). Again, am I being unreasonable expecting someone who is sharing to have to live up to my expectations/standards? I really don’t want to lose him as he’s teaching my boy lots but how do I approach the subject tactfully without upsetting him? Thanks in advance!

Haven't read all of the replies but no actually, I don't think you are being unreasonable. Yes, he may be bringing your horse o and great. BUT, he is also getting full use of a horse, potentially 7 days a week to treat as his own to do what he wants with, with no financial contribution so I think the least he could do is offer to help poo pick field/do waters.

I did note though that he is going to start making a financial contribution........if that is the case then ONLY because he is a good rider, I would sit him down and ask whether he'd mind poo picking on X and Y days and you'll do the others. You would've had to do them anyway if he hadn't come along. But I DO think if he is riding the horse more than 3/4 times aweek he should poo pick/do waters on at least 1/2 of those days.