Sharer problems

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Ellie1234

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Cut a long story short (sort of) ..

Been sharing a lovely horse since last september and have brought him on for the owners who know nothing about horses and brought for there daughter who goes to boarding school. She is a novice and they brought her a 6 year old horse which is a little too much for her to handle .. sometimes!

She is now back for the summer and they expect me to take a step back from the horse and only do the days that the daughter can't do. I feel that i have put all this hard work in, only for her to come along and ruin it. I also feel that the parents do not communicate with me at all, but seem to find time to talk to others on the yard, but me. The daughter, on several occasions, has decided she wants to go to see her friends last min and expects me to look after him at a very short notice (talking days for a period of a week).

She tends to jump him a lot, too much, 3-4 times a week, but is incapable or any form or correct flatwork, he has so much potential and I have been asked to ODE him for my local riding club. She doesnt take any of my advice, even though i have 10 years more experience then her and seems to think the horse is just a "toy" she can play with when she feels like it. I have done the winter with him and those hard cold winter nights, she has not even experienced the smallest bit of hard work that comes with looking after a horse! And now she can just enjoy the summer and i have to take a step back!

She is a novice and inexperienced in looking after a horse, for example the other day I found him in the school that she had put him in for 5 hours with no hay! Not sure why she did that, and not put him in the field - stupid! He had cut his leg just from gallaping round in frustration, and again she failed to spot that!

I sold my horse before uni and really am missing having my own, but i have such a good deal with this horse i don't want to throw it away.

Should I speak to the parents and express my thoughts on the matter, or just get on with it untill next summer when I will be buying my own anyway!?
 
Just be honest and grown up about it all, arrange a proper chat with her parents and express your concerns, agree set days for a length of time as a trial period to see if the new arrangements work, give them a chance to meet you half way basically and so they can have a word with their daughter, if not, just inform them that current arrangement you have is not working for you and the good of the horse and don't wish to continue, then walk away.

Plenty of other people out there looking for good sharer, I'm sure you find another horse, but yes it's a shame when you have got attached and put the work in.

You never know until you speak to them though.
 
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Talk to the parents - Im sure that if you say that shes not looking after the horse properly and mention that he hurt himself and she didnt notice, slip in vets bills :rolleyes: and maybe try and organise to that it is split evenly because you put alot of work in over thewinter and would like to enjoy that- any sane person must appreciate that, but then again boarding school child with a horse sat at home talking cant do any harm though :confused::o
 
I'm afraid you said it yourself "you hvae such a good deal with this horse". As infuriating as this is for you at the end of the day it is not your horse and they can therefore act in whatever manner they like. If they are taking the biscuit re the girl expecting to just drop him whenever she wants then you need to say no and not pick up the work every time she doesn't want to do it. unfortunately if you take up the work they will just expect you to do it every time and take you for granted.
If you are planning on getting your own horse I would suggest just taking a step back and not getting so involved with this horse. it will be much easier when you have your own horse. If here is no written agreement between you I'm afraid they can do what they like. maybe just have a chat with them and suggest which days you are happy to do so that there is more definate boundaries. Hope this helps. Good luck
 
This is the downside of being a sharer, ultimately it is their horse to do with as they like and unless you are contributing a significant proportion of the livery fees really you can't change very much. Perhaps they would be better to pay for somebody to do the jobs she doesn't want to do so you are free to enjoy another horse with a more understanding owner
 
Hmmm... feel sorry for you as you have obviously bonded with this horse. However unfortunately and as you know, as a sharer you don't really have any rights and the owners will treat you like this if they feel like it.

Do ask to talk to the parents, but remember that they will see things 1) from their daughter's point of view, 2) from the horse's point of view and 3) from yours. So you have to say that it's bad for 1) their daughter's riding, 2) the horse and only then for you if she jumps all the time and doesn't ride it properly. Say that you think you know the horse well, and offer to help her and to give her lessons on the flat if it would help her. She's probably just being a typical teenager and wants to have fun during her holidays.

On the plus side, summer isn't long and you will soon have him back to yourself - maybe you just have to put up with it for a while - and if you plan to get your own, it won't be like this every year. In the meantime you are learning lots and have a nice horse to play with. It sounds worth waiting a few weeks for.
 
At the end of the day the horse isnt yours and if the owner wants to reduce the amount of days during the summer that they need you then there isnt much you can do. You dont have to do all the days in the winter if you dont want to and i'm sure there are others wanting sharers if you dont want to continue with this horse.

I'm sure you have bonded with this horse but that is the risk you take being a sharer. All you can do is give advice if they want it. Maybe have a word with the parents. If it is too frustrating for you then consider not sharing this horse anymore.

Unfortunately you cant change who owns the horse.
 
Thanks for the advice!

Yeah I think I am going to have a few words with the parents and then take it from there. Summer is nearly over anyway so I will hang on and see what next summer brings me! I have already began to take a step back from the horse, so I am less attached to him incase i need to walk away.
 
At the end of the day its not your horse, it is a realationship of sharing of conveinence maybe its time to have a chat and if agreement cant be agreed, move on it is an unfortunate side of sharing were things come to a end eventually, at times the horse is sold after loanee has put work and atachment formed and time and money and walk away with nothing, have a chat to work it out/and/ or move on, hope it gets resolved , they might not realise how you feel ?
 
I think you're darn lucky to have the horse TBH
I would have a word but nothing more than that, as for the horse it doesn't sound like you do alot to help the horse financially, so I sugget if you want to keep looking after him and riding him (which I can see you do) than I would try and look past it. The horse is theirs so they can do what they like with it (even jump it 4 times a week and gallop it whatever..).
She's up there riding him 4 times a week she sounds quite into him, maybe you could scare her a bit by finding info telling all the dangers there is jumping a young horse too much etc..
You should educate her rather than going to rant at the parents..
It's not a faire situation but it is their horse.
Regarding them being unreliable and dropping the horse on you, If shes riding 4 times a week I don't see a problem with you helping out a couple of days a week..
Maybe you could find another horse to love. Though I would talk to the owners and just say you feel you should be involved with the horse more and you would like to have notice when it's your turn to go and help out, also talk to the girl about her horse without her parents being there.. You could hint by saying that you got a really good book on horse care and you think she could benefit from it..It's her horse she should look after and atleast be able to see when he's hurt.. she should have a minimum of knowledge..Unless the parents are friendly and willing to listen (They don't sound to be...) I think you should talk to the girl about her horse rather than her parents..
 
If you are not having a big financial input then I think you need to be a bit careful - it is their horse and you cannot dictate to them what they can or cannot do. Unless there is a true welfare issue then I think all you can do is have a gentle word and then walk away if things do not change.

As for competing it - great if it works out but otherwise I would not pin hopes on it.

At the end of the day you are their sharer and if you are not happy with things you can walk away - the advantage of being a sharer. The disadvantage is you cannot insist on any mangement strategies even if you do know better!
 
The welfare aspects of the daughter's care of the horse worry me, and perhaps this is what you should mention to her/her parents? As others have said, it is her horse at the end of the day, and she can do with it what she will; but she must look after it correctly and if she is not doing this then it should be mentioned to parents/YO to deal with.

Personally, I would walk away - bad care of horses infuriates me!
 
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