Sharer stress advice please

"Cause a welfare concern"? really? I think that is overstating things a bit.

I agree with others who say if you really want to make sure everything is done to your specification, get a competant adult to do it. A child whose experience is mainly from a riding school is going to need a lot of coaching and a hands on approach until they really get the hang of things.

As for leaving boots or a headcollar on, I'd approach more along the lines of "I noticed you'd forgotten to take x's boots off yesterday. In future can you just double check before you leave that boots are off because xyz..." The occasional forgetfulness I'd put down to teenage brain, I certainly wouldn't end a share becasue of one episode of forgetfulness. Then again, I have an awful teenage brain, despite my teenage years being long behind me. My ponys legs haven't dropped off yet because I left boots on overnight. ;)
 
I have been a sharer myself and now have sharers of my own and it doesn’t seem worth the worry. When I was a sharer I would always make sure that I treated that horse as my own for the day and would always be there when I was needed. It really helped the owner as I was at school (13) at the time and she was working full time. She would always trust me when she went on holiday or couldn’t make a day to look after her 16hh Tb and her Shetland. Even though I couldn’t ride the Shetland she knew I would take him out and love him just as I would a horse I could ride. We would even take him for drives at the weekend. I would do all their jobs and always tell her if there were any issues (low on feed hay ect) or just how they were in general. Never had any problems and I ended up having 3 shares on one yard and all the owners were happy that they all got the same attention. Now I have sharers of my own and one has been with me for 4 years. We both have the same riding style and she has really helped me when needed. I have been through some sharers myself and it does take time to find the right one. I think you should be able to know that your horse is happy and safe instead of worrying about what you will find the next day! Wishing you all the luck in finding one! They are a big help to have.
 
I think the answer is no sharer! I thought it was a nice thing for the child and horse when they approached me. The mother was supervising and it gave the horse a bit more regular work. It didn't enter my head that it would be so complex. I did watch her ride and tack up initially but the friend does all her jobs on her own and was helping her with the mother there too I didn't think I was going to need to be so hands on.
I can afford to pay someone to do the horse one day or just go and do it myself it's the hearing all the tales the day after that I find so annoying. I've told her a thousand times to phone me or ask the groom, friend, mother anyone if she's not sure. The horse is a saint really a lovely schoolmaster I wouldn't ever have advertised I just thought it might be nice it's been nothing but drama.

I've put up with a lot because it is through people I am friends with otherwise I would have knocked it on the head before. Lesson learned! Thanks all.
 
Everyone different but to me leaving a horse in a nylon headcollar over night that could catch on something is dangerous, boots on filthy legs for riding is bad enough let alone for 24 hours after and over night with hardly any hay.

I just think it's not suited to me to share I'm maybe just too much of a control freak.
 
FlyingCircus said:
Not at all worth the stress. She'd be long gone.

I used to share for £20 a week and did everything, treated the horse like my own AND improved his schooling!
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Im sorry, I have to say I agree... It isn't down to whether she is sorry or not (and Id take offence at her being sorry I was angry as opposed to sorry about what she had/hadnt done!) Its down to horse welfare. She cannot be trusted, neither can the adult in charge of her. Get rid.
 
No I dont think you are a control freak. I think you picked the wrong sharer.

And faced wit hthe issues you have had with said sharer are not willing to put in the time it will take to get her up to speed. At the end of the day it is not fair on you her or the horse in question.

Sharing is a commitment that goes two ways trust from both sides of the fence. This is not one of those situations. Shares should not be done because you are being kind. It should work that both sides benefit.

For example the owneri share from has three horses one unridden one youngster (4) and a older boy. She has sharers to ease the load as she works shifts. I am the only adult sharer she has but in our tack room is a list of jobs that must be completed daily. Also a what you can and cant do ridden, Feed menu, and hay weights and a checklist and an emergancy phone number list.

This means the younger sharers have something they can refer to the owners expectations and check things of before they leave.
 
There are some mistakes that you can understand but headcollar and boots on overnight is unforgiveable - once you have seen a horse break his neck after getting his headcollar stuck on his door latch, and watched him die whilst the vet arrives, you will understand why. This happened to a good friend of mine who trusted her horse with someone else.
 
You're getting a day off...to worry about what is/isn't being done with your horse. Sounds bonkers to me. I'd end the share.
 
I'm sorry but I think people are being a bit unfair to the young sharer and expecting too much of her. At the end of the day she is a child and not yet educated enough for the responsibilty of having a horse. She is clearly a complete novice not just in her riding but also her horse care and stable management. Not suprising as lots of riding schools these days dont allow kids to work on yard like they did when we were kids unless so stablemanagent is only learned if they pay for it as a lesson/ take their BHS stages. If OP continues the share she is going to need to insist on giving her several days lessons in proper management and care and should, I feel, insist that the girl has regular lessons on the horse with a qualified instructor. Personally though I would end the share and look for a competetant adult instead. There are plenty of people who would happily share a good horse and in my experience, adults tend to not only do whats expected but are quite often good at doing extras too!
 
I agree that the sharer is simply too young and unable to accept the responsibility and I would not continue the arrangement also for fear of her hurting herself. Best with a reliable adult.
 
Upon reading only the first initial post in the 5 page thread.....................get rid if not already done so as not worth the stress, hassle and possible negative effect on your horse.
 
Get rid and find a decent, experienced sharer (we are out there!)
Nothing against the girl - she's inexperienced but would be better doing pony care days at a riding school and having lessons for now rather than too much responsibility until she's got to grips more with it all.
 
I don't think you are being unfair to the sharer. You had issues before and talked them through. 13 is plenty old enough to understand when you are being given a last chance. I agree with those that say the girl needs to get more basic knowledge, but I don't agree that you should be the one to be teaching her given that you are sharing in order to have a day off. I also think the people supervising could be more helpful, but I can also see that they could be thinking 'well why should I help' if she is asking and asking and asking for help and potentially not taking any notice of what is being said to her (there's a 30 year old in my office that is like this). It can be easier to ask and ask again than to have to remember. As to leaving the headcollar on and booting up on top of dirty legs and leaving the boots on, that would be a no-brainer for me, I'd end the share then. Cleaning the legs properly is a basic and anyone who has half a mind would not only be trying to learn this stuff from other people but would also be reading up on horsecare and should know that this is something that you just don't do. I really don't think this person is the right sharer for you, but there must be one out there somewhere!
 
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