Sharer taking the mick?

[RollOnSpring]

Bit the bullet and advertised for a sharer for my mare. Shes come on so much over the last 6 months and im not getting enough time to ride her due to another job and also helping are for my aunty - she now can't drive so im just helping out with her shopping and errand running etc. I wanted someone confident and kind to just keep her ticking over for me. a few people have come to view her but i only liked one of them. She was a good rider and got her going nice. She told me I'd done a job good so far with my mare and she could 'take it from there' How patronising?!

Anyway, she's told me she can ride her two or three days a week but simply cannot afford the time to muck her out in the winter when she'll be living in at night. She said she has her own job and can only have enough time to come, uick groom and ride and thats it. im on part livery so all she'd have to do is make a haynet and a quick muck out. I deep litter anyway so it would be literally a 10 min job. No turn outs or waters to do (we have drinkers). I wasn't looking to charge her as she said she cant afford to pay but I wanted yard duties in return for her to ride. She suggested I could pay for services on her days unless I wanted to come muck out before//after work myself and she just ride?

She is planning on taking her on loan next week but im not sure im happy with this. would you be? is she taking the mick or is this the price you pay for having a knowledgeable and good rider ofr your horse?

 

[fatpiggy]

Bit the bullet and advertised for a sharer for my mare. Shes come on so much over the last 6 months and im not getting enough time to ride her due to another job and also helping are for my aunty - she now can't drive so im just helping out with her shopping and errand running etc. I wanted someone confident and kind to just keep her ticking over for me. a few people have come to view her but i only liked one of them. She was a good rider and got her going nice. She told me I'd done a job good so far with my mare and she could 'take it from there' How patronising?!

Anyway, she's told me she can ride her two or three days a week but simply cannot afford the time to muck her out in the winter when she'll be living in at night. She said she has her own job and can only have enough time to come, uick groom and ride and thats it. im on part livery so all she'd have to do is make a haynet and a quick muck out. I deep litter anyway so it would be literally a 10 min job. No turn outs or waters to do (we have drinkers). I wasn't looking to charge her as she said she cant afford to pay but I wanted yard duties in return for her to ride. She suggested I could pay for services on her days unless I wanted to come muck out before//after work myself and she just ride?

She is planning on taking her on loan next week but im not sure im happy with this. would you be? is she taking the mick or is this the price you pay for having a knowledgeable and good rider ofr your horse?

Run for the hills! This is a disaster waiting to happen.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

As per your title, yes she's taking the mick. Patronising your riding ability & basically just wanting to come down, ride & bu@@er off. You're not asking for much & she's not willing to do that. She's using you & offering nothing in return, no help at all. Give her the bums rush & find someone else.

 

[Nugget La Poneh]

Taking the pickle.

I would re-think that one, personally. She sounds as if you're always going to be in her debt, despite it being your horse.

 

[Dancing_Diva]

If it where me I'd just politely tell her that you've had a think and don't think it's going to work out so you won't be needing her to start next week.

Does sound like she just wants a free ride and none of the work/financial commenent.

 

[poiuytrewq]

mm, I'd really expect some help especially if its all as easy as you say and no money is involved. Its really not very much to ask.

 

[southerncomfort]

Maybe you need to be a bit clearer in your own head about what it is you want from a sharer.

What she is offering isn't really a share...she's just getting free rides. Unless of course you advertised for someone to school your horse for you..?

You say she doesn't have time to do any chores but then at the bottom you say that she is taking the horse on loan from next week. All sounds a little confused!

To be honest, it doesn't sound like she is going to be very much help to you and it isn't something that I would be happy with. However, perhaps deciding exactly what you want from a sharer and then deciding if this lady can actually give you need would be the way to go.

 

[Optimissteeq]

If you are not happy with the arrangement then don't do it, it seems as though it will cause problems later on. You've outlined your expectations of what you want from the share arrangement, and they don't seem unreasonable. The other person in question does not want to meet those requirements so it's already not working.

Find someone else if you can. Good luck.

 

[sarahann1]

Trust your gut, she sounds like she's a chancer!

I'm currently riding a really nice horse for someone who has insisted there should be no payment or anything in return because I'm doing her a favour. I still muck him out on the days I've ridden, it's the least I can do for her allowing me to ride and have lessons on her horse!

 

[dogatemysalad]

She's planning on taking your horse on loan next week ? I presume she'll be taking over all the costs and care herself then ? Did you actually ask her to do this ? I may have misunderstood your post, but how will she suddenly have the time and money to take your horse on loan when she has been too poor and busy to do anything except take free rides ?

 

[buddylove]

Complete and utter cheeky p*** taker! Tell her she can pay or do yard duties in return for riding or she can jog on! Grrr I'm cross on your behalf!

 

[RollOnSpring]

Maybe you need to be a bit clearer in your own head about what it is you want from a sharer.

What she is offering isn't really a share...she's just getting free rides. Unless of course you advertised for someone to school your horse for you..?

You say she doesn't have time to do any chores but then at the bottom you say that she is taking the horse on loan from next week. All sounds a little confused!

To be honest, it doesn't sound like she is going to be very much help to you and it isn't something that I would be happy with. However, perhaps deciding exactly what you want from a sharer and then deciding if this lady can actually give you need would be the way to go.

I just wanted what other people have at the yard from their sharers - someone that will love the horse, care for her and ride her. Plus do the mucking out and haynet on the days they ride. I work silly hours so they are free to ride as and when they want, they can either have set days or days agreed the week beforehand, im really flexiable but pehaps thats my problem. if I was stricter and didnt allow for all this then maybe Id find the right person. I suppose Im just thinking about what Id class as a 'golden opportunity' if it was me looking for a share but maybe couldnt afford it or something.

Not even bothered about someone who wants to school - just someone who is confident and a good rider to hack her out and stretch her legs, espeically if we end up having another winter were she's kept in for weeks on end. Shes a really uncomplicated horse and anyones hack, very safe but id want a good rider of peace of mind.

the only thing i ask is they have their own rider insurance (which is about £6 per month).

 

[AmyMay]

Run for the hills! This is a disaster waiting to happen.

'Nuff said!

 

[Honey08]

Go back to her and tell her you've been having a think, and cannot say yes to her unless she can help with jobs or contribute towards paying someone else to do them. Tell her you're going to keep looking.

I had a sharer like that. A lovely rider, but only came on the one day a week that we had a groom so there were no jobs to do, and never had time to help with anything else, mane pulling or tack cleaning etc. in the end I told her not to bother. We now have a much more novice rider, but who is a lovely honest person and helps out as and when.

I'd rather not have a sharer than one who thinks they're doing you a favour, unless they happen to be Mary King or William FP, or are a pro that doesn't work anymore and just wants something to ride, they are not doing you a favour, you both are gaining..

 

[beth21]

If you're looking for someone to come down and ride a few times a week in exchange for the odd job and no financial contribution (which is what I gather from your post) then you really should hold off for that perfect person.

What you're offering is the ideal arrangement for the right person who can't commit to owning or full loaning and believe me, there will be enough people who would bite your hand off for that opportunity.

If I were you, I'd be polite but firm and explain that you've had a think and you would really like someone who can contribute a little bit more. I really feel patience will be rewarded in this situation and that the perfect person will come along before you know it. All you have to do is scroll through the sharer nightmare posts on this forum and that should help you make your decision!

All the best with whatever you decide, I hope it all works out for you x

 

[niagaraduval]

She hasn't even started sharing yet and she already is making excuses not to help out with yard duties and expecting to ride for free.

I would not start the loan and find someone else.

I have had my share of bad sharers now and I make a list and if not every box on the list checked I say thanks, but no thanks and 'vet' the next person. It has taken me a year of constant advertising to find my current sharer and although she has only been with me for 4 months, she is excellent and so worth the wait.

She pays me a small contribution towards shoes, but she also does other things like fill up the water, make haynets, she helps muck out if she is there/has time.

The least she can do is help fill up haynets - honestly, how long does it take ?
She could also atleast muck out one day a week for you to have a break.

Sorry, but I think she is taking the mick.

The problem nowadays is that people want everything for nothing. (And I run a DIY livery for one person and it has now turned into full livery at 10 euros a week all inc. (Ridiculous I know , but can't get rid of her !)).

 

[Hackie]

Totally taking the mick. A quick skip out before, and ensuring the horse has a feed/haynet after would be part of the care for the horse when you go and have a ride, it's not really doing 'extra' jobs, IMO.

That kind of entitled attitude at the begining is only going to get worse as time goes on... You've been warned!!!

 

[Clare85]

Agree with others - I would steer well clear. She sounds like she is literally out for a free ride. A share should make things easier for you - sounds like this girl wouldn't do that at all, in fact she might make life more stressful if she's this much of a headache before she's even started!

 

[mischamoo]

Unless she is Charlotte Dujardin and is likely to school the horse to a standard you're unlikely to bring it on to, i wouldnt be taking on a sharer like this - if she can do the above then she can come and go as much as she wants and not lift a finger!

I've seen too many sharers/loaners recenlty when advertising my own horse who simply think they're doing me a favour by riding my horse and expect to do no chores or offer a small token of payment or bag of feed. The majority of these people also over-estimate their riding abilities and again think they are doing me a favour by riding my horse.

 

[gembear]

Is she kidding?
I would be happy to do chores to ride for free, as would many others.

Tell her to bog off.
She sounds pretty unreliable and too big for her boots tbh.

 

[PollyP99]

She hasn't even started sharing yet and she already is making excuses not to help out with yard duties and expecting to ride for free.

I would not start the loan and find someone else.

I have had my share of bad sharers now and I make a list and if not every box on the list checked I say thanks, but no thanks and 'vet' the next person. It has taken me a year of constant advertising to find my current sharer and although she has only been with me for 4 months, she is excellent and so worth the wait.

She pays me a small contribution towards shoes, but she also does other things like fill up the water, make haynets, she helps muck out if she is there/has time.

The least she can do is help fill up haynets - honestly, how long does it take ?
She could also atleast muck out one day a week for you to have a break.

Sorry, but I think she is taking the mick.

The problem nowadays is that people want everything for nothing. (And I run a DIY livery for one person and it has now turned into full livery at 10 euros a week all inc. (Ridiculous I know , but can't get rid of her !)).

Agree with this, she is taking the mick! I have the same setup as you are looking for, my sharer rides, doesn't pay but mucks out and poo picks on her days, only fair, in fact I'm told its a good deal which many would pay for so see her off and carry on looking. Advertise in local tack shops and other local horsey places someone will come along I'm sure.

 

[Archangel]

Tell her no. Cheeky mare!

 

[bakewell]

sounds like she might be straight out of a riding school where this is slightly more normal? So it might not be that she's really cheeky, more has absolutely no concept of the poopy back breaking work that keeping horses actually is! OTOH her comment is out of line.
Have you considered asking around the yard... others' sharers might have friends or a sharer might be looking to do different/ more days.
Also to consider, if you are looking to have someone bring your horse on... in the past I shared a horse but I had to take an hours lesson once a week as my "fee". It was with a pretty pricey instructor but everyone in the situation benefitted. Just an idea.

 

[smellsofhorse]

If she is an exceptional rider, with proof! and will really improve your horse then free schooling will be worth it.
Normally they would expect horse tack up ready them handed back when finished but if she is happy to tack up etc then you just have to organise muck out etc.

Other wise, yes I think she is taking the pee!

 

[ester]

Putting the horse to bed at night after riding is hardly a big deal, if she wants to ride her she would do it, but it does rather sound like she thinks she is doing you a favour and you aren't going to get what you want out of it (I noticed she didn't offer to pay for services on those days). If she is that short of time she doesn't have time to ride her either . Don't most people have their own jobs? Keep looking

 

[PaddyMonty]

Unless she is Charlotte Dujardin and is likely to school the horse to a standard you're unlikely to bring it on to, i wouldnt be taking on a sharer like this - if she can do the above then she can come and go as much as she wants and not lift a finger!

If she is an exceptional rider, with proof! and will really improve your horse then free schooling will be worth it.
Normally they would expect horse tack up ready them handed back when finished but if she is happy to tack up etc then you just have to organise muck out etc.

Disagree with both of these statements. I share (pretty much sole rider) spring. I don't pay a penny but have the ride as I can school him to a good standard. ie qualified BD regionals on our first 3 outings, placed top 10 in regionals, qualified for winters already. Placed 1st or second in 11 of 18 tests so far (BD). So I guess I come close to the rider you have in mind.
Now I fetch him in, groom, tack up, untack, wash off, skip out, feed, turn out, clean tack. Pretty much anything that needs to happen with him.
I also fix things around the yard (owners own yard) plus school her other horse, teach her, act as groom when she competes other horse. Do both horses if she cant get to yard. Help the liveries as and when required. The list goes on and on.
None of the above is dependant on me riding / competing spring. I do it as I think it is right and proper to do so.
The minute people start acting like prima donnas the problems will start.
Leave this one well alone and find someone who will appreciate both the horse and the owner.

 

[ihatework]

I think she would have to be a pretty exceptional rider to be calling the shots on not doing a few stable chores.

I'd tell her she either does them herself or covers the cost if the yard doing it. I suppose ultimately it depends on how much you want/need your horse ridden by a capable rider versus cost.

 

[mischamoo]

Disagree with both of these statements. I share (pretty much sole rider) spring. I don't pay a penny but have the ride as I can school him to a good standard. ie qualified BD regionals on our first 3 outings, placed top 10 in regionals, qualified for winters already. Placed 1st or second in 11 of 18 tests so far (BD). So I guess I come close to the rider you have in mind.
Now I fetch him in, groom, tack up, untack, wash off, skip out, feed, turn out, clean tack. Pretty much anything that needs to happen with him.
I also fix things around the yard (owners own yard) plus school her other horse, teach her, act as groom when she competes other horse. Do both horses if she cant get to yard. Help the liveries as and when required. The list goes on and on.
None of the above is dependant on me riding / competing spring. I do it as I think it is right and proper to do so.
The minute people start acting like prima donnas the problems will start.
Leave this one well alone and find someone who will appreciate both the horse and the owner.

Yes but you also do chores regardless of the fact you're not expected to do them. You also are obviously competent enough to help bring the horse on - the sharer as described by the OP is basically refusing to take on at tasks whatsoever but to ride - my point was unless she is of a HUGE benefit to the improvement of the horse, I wouldn't want some one like that riding my horse and not do any chores whatsoever - it shouldn't even be called a share as she is sharing nothing technically in my opinion! If all the sharers I'd seen were as competent and involved as you Spring, it would have made my life searching for a decent sharer a lot easier

 

[Auslander]

I've been there, with a sharer who paid nothing, and did nothing. She was a very nice rider, but in the end, I got frustrated that I was doing all the work, while she rocked up, and as often as not, rode both the ones who are in work, because I didn't have time to ride Alf - too busy doing all four horses on my own!

It was lovely to see Spike going so nicely, and enjoying himself, but in the end I got thoroughly resentful, to the point I decided I'd rather re-retire him than have to have him shod, clipped, fed extra, just so someone could have a free horse!

As it happens, she moved away, and I found a new sharer - she's far less experienced, but is very willing to muck in and help, and she pays a small contribution to his running costs. I teach her on him for free, and spend a lot of time teaching her how to care for him properly, so she is getting a very nice horse to ride, and learning lots. Win Win situ really. I just need to find someone to hack him out now, and things will be perfect!

 

[PaddyMonty]

Yes but you also do chores regardless of the fact you're not expected to do them. You also are obviously competent enough to help bring the horse on - the sharer as described by the OP is basically refusing to take on at tasks whatsoever but to ride - my point was unless she is of a HUGE benefit to the improvement of the horse, I wouldn't want some one like that riding my horse and not do any chores whatsoever - it shouldn't even be called a share as she is sharing nothing technically in my opinion! If all the sharers I'd seen were as competent and involved as you Spring, it would have made my life searching for a decent sharer a lot easier

That's my point. I do all the associated stuff even though I don't have to. To expect otherwise is unreasonable.
The only time I wouldn't do any chores would be when someone approaches me to school their horse and is paying me to do so (have done this in the past). Then its a customer / supplier arrangement and I expect the horse tacked up and ready when I arrive. Any other arrangement the rider should expect to do at least the basics for the horse on the days they ride. Hardly difficult or time consuming.