Sharer taking the mick?

[Dave's Mam]

I like doing bits round the yard, grooming & cleaning tack as much as I like riding. More even? For me, it's just having horses to be around. I am lucky in that the pony I ride is too small for her owner & her owner is just glad for her to get attention & a bit of a hack & jump now & again, but I also pull my weight in the yard.

 

[Dave's Mam]

Oh & I pay for her dentist, farrier, wormer etc, but nothing else.

 

[_GG_]

OP - walk away. I wouldn't justify it or think about giving her a chance...her attitude says high maintenance to me and I could not be dealing with it. Better to hold out for the right fit...you'll find it. xx

 

[Dave's Mam]

And anyway, why would you want to just turn up, groom, ride & leave? That doesn't give me time to tell my pony about my day, listen to the radio, mooch about & fix bits, you know the things I mean. I think the technical term is "Faffing".

 

[RollOnSpring]

Thanks for all the advice (yet again!). I am going to email her after work today and tell her not to come again as ive had a think about it and shes not what Im looking for in a loaner. I wont give her a reason unless she asks for one and then i will give her a bit of a reality check about what shes seriously asking for! I havent really dealt with who sharer thing so therefore sisnt know the rules/how it should be done, however i knew what she was saying didnt ring right to me.

My horse is much too important to me than to loaner her to the wrong person, Id rather just pay my instructor to come school her once a week on a day I cant come than loan her to someone taking the pee out of me!

 

[PolarSkye]

Bit the bullet and advertised for a sharer for my mare. Shes come on so much over the last 6 months and im not getting enough time to ride her due to another job and also helping are for my aunty - she now can't drive so im just helping out with her shopping and errand running etc. I wanted someone confident and kind to just keep her ticking over for me. a few people have come to view her but i only liked one of them. She was a good rider and got her going nice. She told me I'd done a job good so far with my mare and she could 'take it from there' How patronising?!

Anyway, she's told me she can ride her two or three days a week but simply cannot afford the time to muck her out in the winter when she'll be living in at night. She said she has her own job and can only have enough time to come, uick groom and ride and thats it. im on part livery so all she'd have to do is make a haynet and a quick muck out. I deep litter anyway so it would be literally a 10 min job. No turn outs or waters to do (we have drinkers). I wasn't looking to charge her as she said she cant afford to pay but I wanted yard duties in return for her to ride. She suggested I could pay for services on her days unless I wanted to come muck out before//after work myself and she just ride?

She is planning on taking her on loan next week but im not sure im happy with this. would you be? is she taking the mick or is this the price you pay for having a knowledgeable and good rider ofr your horse?

She is taking the mick - and no, it is not the price you pay for having a knowledgeable/good rider for your horse.

Run - run a mile - and do not let her take your horse on loan.

P

 

[Tess Love]

Thanks for all the advice (yet again!). I am going to email her after work today and tell her not to come again as ive had a think about it and shes not what Im looking for in a loaner. I wont give her a reason unless she asks for one and then i will give her a bit of a reality check about what shes seriously asking for! I havent really dealt with who sharer thing so therefore sisnt know the rules/how it should be done, however i knew what she was saying didnt ring right to me.

My horse is much too important to me than to loaner her to the wrong person, Id rather just pay my instructor to come school her once a week on a day I cant come than loan her to someone taking the pee out of me!

Good decision don't give up looking for a sharer because there are some excellent sharers out there who will love and look after your horse and provide the peace of mind you need. In my opinion someone who doesn't want any of the additional responsibility isn't likely to be very caring and that's what would worry me, that said I'm a big softie and idolise my share pony.

 

[RubysGold]

Think you have made the best decision.

My worry would be that someone with that attitude would just not bother turning up if she didn't feel like it. Her attitude sounds very "cant be bothered" to me.

If people want to make something work they will, I had my own horses and a share horse 20 mins drive apart, because I wanted to ride while my newly backed horse was turned away. I still managed to get share horse ridden mucked out and sorted for night and then do my two after, and work.

Hopefully you'll find a brilliant sharer soon

 

[LittleMonster]

Personally?
Shes taking the mick! the chores are to show your dedication (well to me!) as a loaner...

 

[southerncomfort]

I just wanted what other people have at the yard from their sharers - someone that will love the horse, care for her and ride her. Plus do the mucking out and haynet on the days they ride. I work silly hours so they are free to ride as and when they want, they can either have set days or days agreed the week beforehand, im really flexiable but pehaps thats my problem. if I was stricter and didnt allow for all this then maybe Id find the right person. I suppose Im just thinking about what Id class as a 'golden opportunity' if it was me looking for a share but maybe couldnt afford it or something.

Not even bothered about someone who wants to school - just someone who is confident and a good rider to hack her out and stretch her legs, espeically if we end up having another winter were she's kept in for weeks on end. Shes a really uncomplicated horse and anyones hack, very safe but id want a good rider of peace of mind.

the only thing i ask is they have their own rider insurance (which is about £6 per month).

I think you sound like a wonderful owner and you deserve a much nicer sharer! I'd keep looking if I were you.

 

[Illusion100]

Sharer wants a horse to ride when it suits with none of the responsibility IMO. You and your horse deserve better, I advise avoiding this chancer!

Good luck finding a sharer OP!

 

[LaurenBay]

I would insist upon doing the chores. After all if it's just making a net and skipping out, will take 10mins. Im sure she can spare that!

If not I would be finding someone else.

 

[AmyMay]

I've never been a sharer, but for many years had the opportunity of riding a number of horses owned by a friend (alongside my own horse). The experience I gained was invaluable.

I would never have dreamt of turning up, riding and then buggering off. Sharing or not - it simply doesn't work like that.

Part of the joy of our involvement with horses is the 'work' that comes with it. Surely? The connections we make with them by not just riding, but taking care of their needs as well.

 

[diamonddogs]

Good decision.

If she's trying to call the shots before she's even started the share, imagine how she'd be later on!

Patronising little mare - she'd probably want you to clean her boots and wash her kit as well once she'd got her feet under the table.

Good for you - there'll be someone out there who cares enough about your horse to put him safely to bed and tuck him in like the rest of us do every night of their lives!

 

[orsceno1]

It never ceases to amaze me the no of people thinking they are doing you a massive favour riding your horse and expecting to do/ give nothing in return. I shared before I bought my first horse and always considered it part of my duty to care for the horse in whatever way needed on my set days (together with a financial contribution to livery and shoes). I think many people have no idea at all about the true cost of keeping a horse. I have a sharer for one of mine now out of financial necessity but still have issues with getting chores done (tho they do contribute to costs). What you are offering is an excellent opportunity and one I would have jumped at back in the day so I would hold out for that person who understands the value of being offered the opportunity to have involvement with a horse with what is really very little commitment needed to yard work! Good luck

 

[Rhodders]

I have a sharer ish kind of arrangement - she comes to ride, no money involved, I advertised for 6 months and didn't entertain any of the replies until I got what I was looking for. Don't just settle for any old sharer hang out for what you actually need/want. I'm over the moon with mine, I was very clear that it would be a work in progress and I needed her to ride my older horse (who's not an easy ride) to accompany me on my youngster. Well worth the 6 month wait.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

I've been without a sharer for a year (last one got pregnant). My new girl seems to really like the horse, which is top of the list really and although she's quite novicey, she's having a lesson a week on him, tries to muck out and help where she can. She pays and I consider that part of the package unless the sharer is going to bring on the horse for the owner. I feel happy to ask her to chuck in hay, rug him up, turn out, catch in. I don't want to have to go up just to do stuff she can do.

It is definitely worth waiting, as people have said. I moaned about being unable to find one (dunno where I was going wrong with the ad, but not novice ride, must be able to w/t/c so unsupervised passed some people right by!) but having seen and rejected a few, I'm really happy with the new girl, plus she's really lovely and a teacher (so data protection or whatever checked, handy!)

 

[Hippona]

Good decision.

In my youth a local lady very kindly let me ride her daughter's out grown pony.

In return for this I did all chores for that pony....mucking out, water, haynets....the lot...PLUS I had to look after the old retired pony as well. All chores. After school. If I ever turned up and the mucking out had been done already I felt guilty. It's all part of it IMO. I can spend hours "faffing" with the horses, more faffing than riding in fact some times

You will find the right person

 

[Luci07]

Sigh. Goes hand in hand with all the people who, once they find out you have a horse, assume you are going to let them ride it. And be grateful.

Be clearer in what you want as a sharer. I also applied the ,"you pay a fixed fee regardless if whether you decide to ride or not". One sharer lasted 2 months when she tried to wriggle out of paying as she hadn't had much "use" out of my mare..her fault as horse was there, waiting to be ridden on her days. My horse costs the same regardless of if she is ridden or not. I was always happy to move days around but she wanted her cake..

There are genuinely super people who will work with you and enjoy your horse. I was spoilt as I has 2 wonderful sharers who really cared for my mare as if she was their own. We are on part livery but I asked sharers to groom and tack clean as didn't see why I had to do it for someone else!. My sharers fussed over my mare, swapped days between them and were good friends. That's what you want for your mare and yourself! One rider liked me to have ridden my mare before she did as mare would be a little more up for it, the other preferred me to have taken the edge of and I did it for them.

 

[Kylara]

I get paid to exercise and bring on ponies and horses for people and occassionally get rung up by husbands who are "in charge" while wife/kids are away to come muck out for him because "there was a lot of poo and it was raining and then I forgot and they hate me and now they haven't been mucked out for three days" He paid double my usual "groom" rate and was very happy I said yes. The ponies really don't like him and he is not a horsey person.

I get paid to exercise ponies/horses but some of them I go when it suits my schedule and I bring them in (if out) and quick groom before tacking up for riding/lunging, give them a sponge off if they got hot and put them back in/out with extra water/hay if they need it, sometimes I muck them out if that is agreed for that session (costs a little more though!). Others I arrive and they are tacked up ready to go and then get handed back - I usually help untack them and if I have time help wash them down

But sharers usually either pay towards livery cost or do the chores and/or pay towards feed/shoeing so someone just wanting to ride and do nothing else is a bit rude really unless you are paying someone to school your horse then you would expect them to do basic care like mucking out, haying, watering, feeding, bringing in/taking out really.