Sharers- oh not to need them

[Chianti]

So today I got an email from my sharer's mother to let me know that her child will be giving up at the end of the month. They began the share at the end of May. Taking out all of the flannel in the text the reason for stopping boils down to the fact that it will soon be dark in the afternoons and I've asked for a whole £2.50 more per ride. My pony is on full grass livery so there are no yard duties and the yard has a floodlit school. I'm cross with myself because when the child tried him the mother commented that it was a shame that the lights weren't better (she knows the yard) and that riding in the dark was no fun. I should have realised what was going on and not gone ahead with the share. They had been riding at a very cheap daily rate and as I'm now semi retired I decided last week that I had to increase what they paid although it still didn't cover what he costs me per day. There was a comment in her email about it being a good time to stop ' due to the increase in price and the nights drawing in'. I'm sick of people ( not poor in this case) who will quite happily pay the economic rate to hire a car or buy a meal but seem to think that horses should always come at a cheap rate.

 

[Equi]

Thats pants. But at least you got official notice not just "hi not going to make it tonight" then never hearing from them again. Are you going to look for another one?

 

[ihatework]

‘Oh that’s a shame, thank you for letting me know, I completely agree it’s best to stop now if your child isn’t 100% committed.’

Queen of passive aggressive 🙈

 

[honetpot]

My own children never really rode after the October half term and children now get a lot more homework than mine ever did.
We did share a horse with older riders, they had their own transport, hanging around in the dark for your child to ride even when it’s your own is no fun.
I understand your frustration but I am not surprised. I was just glad I got two evenings off a week.

 

[Gloi]

It's not surprising. Not many children are keen enough to want to ride in the cold, dark winter months.

 

[Michen]

Personally I think the sharing thing is a fine line. I have an absolutely fantastic sharer who I charge £50 a month for unlimited riding of a superb horse and the chance to compete etc. He’s completely “made” and a dream in every way.

The £50 in my eyes is a token gesture/commitment. I benefit equally from the arrangement as my horse is exercised.

I do not expect a sharer to cover the cost of his daily keep. I am his owner and that is my responsibility, you can’t rely on someone else to fund your animal IMO (as, casing point, circumstances change).

 

[Jeni the dragon]

I agree with Michen. I didn't charge when I had one. She was out 24/7 so just had to bring in and go. For me it was more about getting her some extra work, and an easy day for me!

 

[Goldenstar]

When you are running a business people stop using that service and paying for it when it suits them .
Cost weather time of year will effect the decisions customers make that’s business that’s life .
Sharing is no different people share for lots of reasons but one of the biggest reasons must be the ability to walk away when it does not suit .
Why should they continue if they think it’s not worth it ?
I am struggling to see the problem here .

 

[Leandy]

Mmm, but on the flipside you would like someone else to subsidise your horse ownership? If you want reliable assistance with your horse wouldn't you pay a professional? I don't really get the "sharing" thing at all.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I would be interested to know what your previous daily rate was, as I think £2.50 increase is rather a big jump. You can't/shouldn't expect a sharer, especially a child, to fund your hobby, it certainly isn't the family's fault that you have retired. Your post reads rather as though you are envious of the family's money and feel that they owe you some of it.

 

[greenbean10]

When you are running a business people stop using that service and paying for it when it suits them .
Cost weather time of year will effect the decisions customers make that’s business that’s life .
Sharing is no different people share for lots of reasons but one of the biggest reasons must be the ability to walk away when it does not suit .
Why should they continue if they think it’s not worth it ?
I am struggling to see the problem here .

I see the OPs frustration but my initial thoughts were also along these lines.

Why should the child carry on sharing the horse when the days get shorter and more miserable? This is why people pay for professionals to exercise their horses. A professional will exercise your horse even when the weather is bad...because you're paying them. Why should the child and mother pay to ride your horse when they don't really want to?

I understand that you think sharers 'seem to think that horses should always come at a cheap rate' but I also see the other side of that which is if you want your horse regularly exercised even when the days are short and miserable then you will need to pay someone to do it. I hope that doesn't come across harsh as I do understand your frustration, but unless they had a contract saying they need to continue through winter then I don't see why they should. If they've been good sharers up until now then I'd end things on good terms and say that you appreciate their honesty.

 

[Chinchilla]

I don't think you can expect any sharer to fully fund your horse; that's more like running a business to me? Cover some of it maybe but completely fund all of it, no, to me sharing is about splitting both costs and work. Having the latter fully covered is hiring a groom; having the former fully covered is having a riding school. I can understand that the rise in cost and time/effort (with winter and dark nights etc) would therefore be off-putting.

 

[Theocat]

If you felt the share was too cheap before, It's not the family's fault - it was your choice to set the rate where it was.

Coming into the winter - when sharing gets harder - is not, psychologically, the time to raise the rate.

It's unfortunately not the cost of keeping your horse that dictates what you can charge for a share; it's the value to the sharer. If anything, they'll pay more in summer - when work goes up in the winter, and opportunities for pleasant riding go down, the value drops as well.

 

[Leo Walker]

Mmm, but on the flipside you would like someone else to subsidise your horse ownership? If you want reliable assistance with your horse wouldn't you pay a professional? I don't really get the "sharing" thing at all.

Thats what I do. I would be happy to let someone ride her for me if they wanted to but I wouldnt be charging them. The only person who has ever paid me for a share type arrangement was a very nervous middle aged woman who did more harm than good and I stopped it in the end!

I just dont get people who expect sharers to subsidise them owning a horse and the ones that rely on them is beyond me. I'd be terrified if I was relying on someone elses financial contribution to pay for my horse, yet lots do.

 

[Bellaboo18]

Interesting thread as I've changed my view as I've gone down people's posts. I've not had or been a sharer and I can't really imagine it being for me.
Anyway at first I thought they were showing no commitment and the first signs of winter giving up etc etc. BUT then I thought hold on they're paying to ride your horse, it's a business agreement they have the right to give up whenever they want. I think they've done the right thing by giving a months notice. Also £2.50 a day increase is an increase of £75 a month, a huge increase. It seems steep for a horse on any type of grass livery. If that was the increase I'd wonder what the total they were expected to pay was. It definitely seems that you're expecting them to pay for your hobby and the reason for the price hike is due to your personal situation.

 

[Equi]

If you felt the share was too cheap before, It's not the family's fault - it was your choice to set the rate where it was.

Coming into the winter - when sharing gets harder - is not, psychologically, the time to raise the rate.

It's unfortunately not the cost of keeping your horse that dictates what you can charge for a share; it's the value to the sharer. If anything, they'll pay more in summer - when work goes up in the winter, and opportunities for pleasant riding go down, the value drops as well.

Theo has a very good point....whats more important to you, the money or the horse getting ridden?

I don't think you can go back to THIS person and say well actually ill make it cheaper to keep you...that opens them to just keep saying money and eventually you have someone doing it for free but you need to in future have a clear one year plan.

 

[Red-1]

I can quite understand why someone does not want to continue the share over winter. Crikey, I have all on riding my own in winter!

I would part on good terms so maybe the child wants to have the share again next year, if it worked out for you. Or maybe you will have found someone else?

 

[hihosilver]

Makes me feel very lucky … well my friend who shares my field. She has a 14.2 20 year old happy hacker and can be used for flat lessons. She has 2 lovely sharers both pay £120 month for 2 rides a week. They are both Teachers and just love hacking. They turn up and really look after him as well as poo picking field! He is a great pony totally bombproof but they pay his total keep! my friend got them after putting an advert on preloved. Have heard other people as well get good sharers from that site as well.

 

[indie1282]

I think sharing can be a good thing if its mutually beneficial to both parties.

I dont agree though that a sharer should expect to subsidise the cost of keeping the horse/pony. It's the owners responsibility to be able to afford the care and upkeep of the animal. I hear alot on here people moaning about sharers not paying/turning up or just wanting to give up the share and how they relied on their money to keep the horse.

 

[Chianti]

I wasn't expecting them to fully fund him. I was just asking for a more reasonable rate as my financial situation had changed. I'm not envious of their situation but I knew they could easily afford it- they holidayed in the Bahamas this year! I suppose I contrasted it with my last sharer. Her child couldn't ride over winter at the last yard as the school had no lights so I gave her an extra day at the weekend. They still came up to do him in the week in the evening. The child wanted to and the mother thought it very important that the child understood that riding and ponies wasn't all sunshine and jolly days but they also need to be looked after when it's dark and raining. I really admired her commitment to the pony and it was obvious that she really loved him.

 

[Chianti]

I think sharing can be a good thing if its mutually beneficial to both parties.

I dont agree though that a sharer should expect to subsidise the cost of keeping the horse/pony. It's the owners responsibility to be able to afford the care and upkeep of the animal. I hear alot on here people moaning about sharers not paying/turning up or just wanting to give up the share and how they relied on their money to keep the horse.

If you went to a riding school would you expect to pay the cost of the yard keeping the horse? They would want that plus a profit margin. I'm not asking them to subsidise him - just to pay a reasonable amount. I've shared a few over the years and have accepted what the owner wants - some just wanted a token amount e.g. shoes paid for but I also shared one where the owner wrote down every single thing she paid for the pony and divided that by 365. Her argument was that that was what the pony cost to keep and if someone wanted to ride her that's what they had to pay.

 

[ihatework]

I wasn't expecting them to fully fund him. I was just asking for a more reasonable rate as my financial situation had changed. I'm not envious of their situation but I knew they could easily afford it- they holidayed in the Bahamas this year! I suppose I contrasted it with my last sharer. Her child couldn't ride over winter at the last yard as the school had no lights so I gave her an extra day at the weekend. They still came up to do him in the week in the evening. The child wanted to and the mother thought it very important that the child understood that riding and ponies wasn't all sunshine and jolly days but they also need to be looked after when it's dark and raining. I really admired her commitment to the pony and it was obvious that she really loved him.

your financial status isn’t their concern. Equally how they choose to spend their time and money isn’t your concern.

Apart from that, I get you & what you are saying. I have no issue with paid shares if the balance is right and it works for both parties.

In the right set-up it opens up the whole horse package to people who couldn’t afford to go it alone. I grew up on paid shares and I don’t begrudge a penny.

probably best this family go now, would be worse if they became unreliable mid winter. Hopefully you will find another keen and committed child to replace them

 

[Equi]

£120 each a month for a hacking horse 2ce a week?! are they mental! Im not sure i think much of your friend for charging that tbh.

 

[Chianti]

Thats pants. But at least you got official notice not just "hi not going to make it tonight" then never hearing from them again. Are you going to look for another one?

I have had a fair few 'not going to make it tonight/todays' which has also added to my stress with them. I need one as I can't do the exciting stuff any more so like a sharer a couple of days a week to jump him or give him a faster hack. When started riding what became my first horse in 1985 I paid £5 a ride. Out of interest I googled how much that would be worth today and it was exactly the new amount I was asking them to pay so I didn't feel it was unreasonable. he's on full grass livery so they don't have any work to do.

 

[ihatework]

£120 each a month for a hacking horse 2ce a week?! are they mental! Im not sure i think much of your friend for charging that tbh.

£15 a ride for what is presumably a well behaved horse they have built up a relationship with?

what’s the going rate for a hack on a brain dead RS horse these days, £30-40?

 

[Chianti]

Interesting thread as I've changed my view as I've gone down people's posts. I've not had or been a sharer and I can't really imagine it being for me.
Anyway at first I thought they were showing no commitment and the first signs of winter giving up etc etc. BUT then I thought hold on they're paying to ride your horse, it's a business agreement they have the right to give up whenever they want. I think they've done the right thing by giving a months notice. Also £2.50 a day increase is an increase of £75 a month, a huge increase. It seems steep for a horse on any type of grass livery. If that was the increase I'd wonder what the total they were expected to pay was. It definitely seems that you're expecting them to pay for your hobby and the reason for the price hike is due to your personal situation.

So - I stupidly didn't have an agreement so they they've only given me a few days notice. I don't know where you've got the £75 increase from. They ride twice a week and I've asked for £2.50 extra per ride so that £22 a month more. They were paying a very low rate before the increase. They are giving up at the first sign of winter - the mother has made that quite clear. They asked to lose the mid week day and have both days at the weekend and would have carried on if I'd agreed.

 

[Chianti]

Thats what I do. I would be happy to let someone ride her for me if they wanted to but I wouldnt be charging them. The only person who has ever paid me for a share type arrangement was a very nervous middle aged woman who did more harm than good and I stopped it in the end!

I just dont get people who expect sharers to subsidise them owning a horse and the ones that rely on them is beyond me. I'd be terrified if I was relying on someone elses financial contribution to pay for my horse, yet lots do.

I am not relying on them to keep my pony. He gets everything he needs and money is never an issue. If I didn't get another one his level of care wouldn't change. I just happen to think that if someone is riding it's not unreasonable to expect them to contribute in terms of work and cost. As I said if you access any other service you expect to pay for it. Somehow with horses that's not done. Just as many people begrudge paying for good livery or moan about the price of a set of shoes.

 

[Chianti]

£15 a ride for what is presumably a well behaved horse they have built up a relationship with?

what’s the going rate for a hack on a brain dead RS horse these days, £30-40?

Funnily enough £15 was the new rate I'd set. The pony is patent safe to handle and hack by kids. He loves jumping and jumps up to 70 cm and got 60% in a prelim test in the summer after a year with no real schooling.

 

[indie1282]

If you went to a riding school would you expect to pay the cost of the yard keeping the horse? They would want that plus a profit margin. I'm not asking them to subsidise him - just to pay a reasonable amount. I've shared a few over the years and have accepted what the owner wants - some just wanted a token amount e.g. shoes paid for but I also shared one where the owner wrote down every single thing she paid for the pony and divided that by 365. Her argument was that that was what the pony cost to keep and if someone wanted to ride her that's what they had to pay.

But you are not a ridng school. If I went to a riding school I would expect to pay whatever their going rate for a lesson is. As a business I would have expected them to have worked out how much to charge to cover the animals upkeep/overheads etc..

You say that you asked for a more reasonable rate as your situation has changed ow you are retired. That implies that you need the money to cover the expenses. Also what makes it more reasonable for them? The child will ride less now its winter so they are not really benefiting.

It also doesn't really matter that they went on holiday to the Bahamas and that they could easily afford it. How they choose to spend their money is up to them.

I suspect that the money is not the issue to them but they probably just dont want to be hanging round a dark cold yard in the winter.

Also, just to add I dont have a problem with someone charging to ride/share a horse.

 

[Ossy2]

I know it must be frustrating but that’s the flexibility of having a share rather than your own horse if you don’t want to continue you don’t unfortunately otherwise by the sounds of it these people could afford their own pony for their kid but choose not to for said flexibility.