Shattered Dreams

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Nothing Original

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Am after some honest advice from knowledgable people with no connection therefore no emotional attachment

Have had horse almost 4 years now and it hasn't been easy. Sacro injury early on and a long rehab have played their part but will try to make short as possible.

Purchase 16 2 sensitive quirky warm blood wanting to jump. Lovely boy good natured scared of own shadow but can really jump.

Me an amateur who has jumped up to newcomers - aiming for same level again.

Horse was very hold and fire type to a jump and had no balance/poor flat work. Set about back to basics then injury so forced slow back to basics. Took 6 months to teach him to canter again (think serious power no balance) after injury but wow what a canter when it is good.

Started jumping again - very slow and steady tiny fences all out of trot. Focus on steady slow accurate - tiny fences - all going well.

1st ever jump show today (at home unaffiliated friendly affair) and planned to trot round 65cm just for experience

By end of course horse properly hooking off head up and just gone.

I should point out horse is now 10yrs old and over 17hh and built like brick wotsit - me a 5 6 small person!

All calm went back in and managed 2 fences before retiring as so dangerous.

Is in a Waterford and was as much as I could do to turn circle til we stopped.

Feeling totally and utterly devastated. 4 years feels like it has been wasted.

If I can't trot round that at home what hope do I ever have of jumping at a show let alone up to newcomers?

I love horse to bits but I don't want to do dressage I want to jump but I can't help but feeling totally over horsed and like I will never be able to achieve my dreams. Selling horse just not an option.

Everyone very supportive telling me to try different bits etc but after 4 years of re-schooling and taking things so slowly it is ridiculous and not 1 hint of this behaviour until tonight I am so upset I just don't know if I can carry on with it.

I guess what I am asking is does anyone have experience of similar and what did you do? Did you resolve and eventually enjoy jumping?

Just to add - All checks done - back teeth saddle etc so I know not pain.

Really don't know where to go from here.

Lots of chocolate for anyone who got this far.....
 
Well for a start I would say you need a martingale to stop his head getting so high you have no control. If steering is an issue what about a cheek bit I think you can get waterford with cheeks or have you tried a pelham? Sorry I cannot offer any more advice than that. It does sound like you and this horse are not an ideal fit though, but hopefully you can overcome the problems.
 
Was he ok in the warm up? Just wondering if it was the show atmosphere or the jumping that blew his mind? Do you school over a full course? Have you taken him to clinics or group lessons? If he's been nowhere then maybe he was just really excited at the whole situation and exposure is the way to go. If you're not confident to go out and try again and you want to do it is be inclined to send him to a pro and get them taking him out and get him used to what it's all about. *
 
Hmmm, just sounds like he got a little bit over excited to me (either that or just nervous?).

I would get him jumping a little bigger and then take him out to a few clinics or lessons away from home (jumping) to see how he behaves.

You can also take him to some BS shows just for the clear round - you can go back in the ring for another go and if you just go in, jump one fence and leave then nobody will mind a jot.

All your slow careful work won't be for nothing - if you've taught him the buttons then they're still in there somewhere (even when he's running around like an idiot). Horses have a way of thwarting the best laid plans that's all. Chin up and time for a new plan :)
 
Could it have been him getting himself wound up because of the atmosphere - other horses there and getting a bit excited?

Do you have the option to take him to other shows - I'm thinking just local shows to take him around the showground and get used to that environment - not even to compete but you could always pop around a CR if he feels OK?

We've had jumping ponies in the past for OH's daughter and one was a lunatic the first season - she would literally motorbike around the course with no brakes whatsoever and at one point we were tearing our hair out wondering just what do do with her. We did re-bit her and put a kimblewick in to give at least some brakes - the next season she was better and just went forward from there. She has since been sold on and is now able to be ridden day to day in a different bit but she always needs the kimblewick for jumping or XC as she's such a speed merchant but she is now registered and competing BS with great sucess.

I also wouldn't necessarily rule out a different bit - if he is the type that is going to get a bit wound up with the show atmosphere then he might need something different just for competitions.

Is it an option for you to get a pro to ride him or give you an opinion?
 
Is this just not what happens to most people at a first show. Show atmosphere, your nerves and lots of horses and people lead to hugely different performance. Dine tempted to take him to lots of events and just warm up rather than trying to compete... Then once he's settled doing the warm up try again...
 
Are you a member of a riding club? I'm thinking that if you join one, you can take him to clinics, group lesson etc before shows which might help?

I'm not a jumper either, but it sounds like excitement to me too. I'd find a suitable competition bit you can use in this situation.

Good luck.
 
I had a 16.2 ID/TB when he was 3. By the time he was 5 (after breaking him and riding him for nearly 2 years) he was nearly 18hh and Im only 5'4". He was no problem to ride, except holding him together for a good jumping canter was hard. I also felt that I may not be able to hold him out hunting,or galloping in a group.
But it was the 'inconvenience' ie I cudnt tack up without a stool, mount, etc - lifting the saddle on and off was like a gym workout , and I cudnt even groom properly made me make the VERY hard decision to sell him. I loved that horse, and had an exceptional bond with him.
I sold him to a lovely man to go hunting and took on a 16.1hh rescue TB, who suits me far better.
I never thought I would be able to sell my big lad- but Im glad I did now, and I get regular updates of how hes enjoying his new life :)
So my advice,if you think you are overhorsed, is to sell him and find something more suitable for jumping. Its not all about the bit, you need stronger legs on a big horse too.
 
Is there a reason why you can't sell him and get something that you find easier? I had a horse for 5 years and struggled with him at competitions, great to hack and have around generally though. I was very fond of him and thought I couldn't sell him, got myself another horse to compete and then struggled to keep 2 going. Very reluctantly I advertised him for sale and was lucky enough to find him the ideal home. Nearly a year on and I realise I should have sold him years before I did. I now have a horse whom I'm very happy with and my old horse also has a home where he is loved and is doing what he really enjoys. Sorry if this advice is unwelcome but sometimes I think we hang on to the wrong horse for what seems like good reasons. Good luck and whatever you decide to do, I hope it comes out well for you and your horse.
 
**HUGS** Horses can break our hearts sometimes. :)

I would also say that plenty of 'exposure' to competition is necessary and also a stronger bit (and a martingale) a bit I would reccommend and may be worth a try is a cheltenham gag, I have found it very useful for horses that stick their head in the air and run, without being overly severe.

Good luck in whichever way you turn.:)
 
Im not competitive at all but do have experience of having bought the wrong horse! Like oldie48 Im wondering if there is a specific reason you cant/wont sell him and find something that you find easier to compete. Some horse/owner partnerships just dont work out the way we want and sadly, it isnt always obvious at first. By the time we realise the sad truth we have developed a bond with the horse which, even though everything isnt going to plan, makes it heart wrenching to part with them. My opinion, fwiw, would be to sell him to a rider who is more suited to his character and find yourself an easier ride. I think that unless you are riding as a professional and being paid to sort out a trickier ride that you should make the experience as enjoyable as you can, it is after all, very expensive and time consuming and why spend it making yourself unhappy. I know that is easier said than done and I also know that a lot of amateur riders are massively talented and well able to deal with "difficult" horses(Im not suggesting you aren't but you seem to be unhappy). Good luck in making a decision and stay safe x
 
Not much help but my lot are like loonies at the moment . They arent being fed either so just spring in the ir . I hope you get some good advice and give it another go . Can you hire a course anywhere ?
Hope for goosd news .
 
LittleRooketRider said:
**HUGS** Horses can break our hearts sometimes. :)

I would also say that plenty of 'exposure' to competition is necessary and also a stronger bit (and a martingale) a bit I would reccommend and may be worth a try is a cheltenham gag, I have found it very useful for horses that stick their head in the air and run, without being overly severe.

Good luck in whichever way you turn.:)
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Hi, was just wondering why you recommend a cheltenhm gag for a horse who raises the head, when a running gag raises the head as the action? just interested :)
 
I would say it's a bit early to call it shattered dreams - loads you can do before giving up. What's he like at home and in warm up? What about lessons in different places? And as others have said - really bad time of year for nutty behaviour, what's he eating?
He does sound pretty big for you though! but presumably that means you must feel that he is safe and rideable the rest of the time - so it could be that there's something about being in a ring that gets him over excited, in whihc case that's something you can work on definitely.
 
As above, why is selling him not an option?

My first horse was super sharp and tricky and was way too much horse for me at the time (I was only 16 and she was a very powerful WB). On the ground she was sweet and I was very fond of her, but riding wise she was such a handful and I felt defeated every time I rode her. In the end I sold her, I was heartbroken at first and like you, was very reluctant to sell. She sold, and I bought another and never looked back. I often wonder now why I battled with said horse for so long. Selling her was the best decision I ever made.

Horses are too expensive to keep if we aren't enjoying them. There are so many horses out there whom would bring you so much more enjoyment than your current horse (by the sounds of things).
 
Get him out and about; group lessons, shows just to warm up and look around, clear round, fun rides etc. TBH strength really doesn't come into it when riding, the smallest pony is stronger than any person when it sets its mind to it. Agree with martingale if he's really going for it, but I suspect it's all the excitement of the day.
 
Oh my goodness you guys and this forum are just so lovely. Thank you all so much for such kind and helpful words.

I hardly slept last night and although reading your comments has put a lump in my throat (feel like an emotional wreck today!) I can't tell you how much they have helped and also made me realise there may be some hope and that maybe I was just expecting too much at our first show. I think because it was at home I just thought it would be pop down to our arena and trot round like I have been in my lessons. I totally underestimated what a pair of white jods and someone ringing a little bell could do to a horses brain!

I really wasn't expecting that behaviour after how good all the lessons had been. We had been linking 5/6 fences, lots and lots of gridwork etc. and quite a bit bigger than the fences were last night - all from trot so whilst we hadn't jumped a full course as such I really did not think there was any reason we shouldn't be able too, especially as they were so small. He was as good as gold in the warm up - kids cantering ponies about jumping (some with very limited steering bless them) and he was such a gent. Jumped every warm up fence from trot and straight back to trot after so it really was a surprise when he behaved like he did.

I have worked so hard to get this far I really don't want to give up yet but that feeling of not being able to stop really frightened me. Horse is not nasty in any way and never ever bucks rears broncs nothing - he is a proper gentle giant - until someone rings a bell apparently......

I think I need to have a very good chat with my instructor and see what we can do bit wise (and yes definitely a martingale) and then as some of you have suggested try and get out to some clinics and some shows just to warm up etc. before trying a course again. I have had group lessons at home and he just isn't phased (horses can be doing laps in the field next door and he will just carry on good as gold). It had never occurred to me that I would need to go so back to basics in terms of show exposure which is my own fault for thinking I could just start getting on and enjoying my jumping now having put in all the hard work schooling etc. Horse is very sensitive so maybe just because it had been going so well I expected a bit too much?

Re selling him I do know every horse could be sold and you are right that they are very expensive not to be enjoying them but due to his history and what we have been through I just don't feel I could. Hopefully it will not come to the point where I need to consider it. I had my last horse 22 years and when I bought this one I had every intention of doing the same again but you are right to say sometimes we have to accept it just isn't working. I guess I am just not ready to accept that yet.

Thank you all again - I really do appreciate it and am very grateful for such good advice.

x
 
millikins said:
I'm not a jumper but could it just have been over excitement at first party in a long time?
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That was my first thought too. Could you take him out just for a look rather than to compete and give him some extra exposure. Don't give up hope - it was only his first time in a while. Hugs.
 
It will get better the more you go and you build confidence. Don't give up! Speed is great at the right time so if you can get the hang of your boy you will probably do really well :)
Been a long time since I did any show jumping but my girl used to tear round at 100mph with me clinging on and praying she did not smash through the fences and kill me! She would stand in the collecting bit and shake and the second the bell rung she would shoot into the ring and that was it. I was a passenger lol I watched everyone else cantering round nicely and felt incompetent and rubbish :(

The people at my yard went to a club night thing every week so I started going with them. The more I did it the less nerve racking it was. In the end I was able to master 'the crazy speed demon' and actually did pretty well. As in the jump off I was guaranteed faster than everyone else lol
I used to do a lot of practice at home circling over a jump until she did it slowly instead of charging over it, that helped me also.
 
deep breath, do a bit more, think about the bitting and talk to instructor. Definitely too early on to be too shattered and see if you can go to some clear round days or similar where no one is too tight on time?
 
Not a jumper but I had a similar experience with my mare at her first endurance ride in 18 months to the point where I was ready to retire by the first CP. She still finds going to parties very exciting/scary yet is impeccably behaved at home. She gets better the more she does. Perseverance and patience are the name of the game :-)
 
Sounds like an excitable horse that loves his job and just needs to remember he has a rider up there! Get a martingale on to stop him sticking his head in your face and so you have a neckstrap. Do some grids in a straight line over some slightly bigger fences so he has to slow up to think, get a decent instructor in to help, get over to some local shows and walk round clear rounds with poles on the floor - where about's are you - lovely venue near me for young horses have clear rounds coming up mid week from 4pm so it's always quiet. They also ran really early at the weekend so when I got over there as they were packing up let me hire the school for the cost of a class for 20 minutes and have a play over all their showjumps! Maybe a venue near you would let you do something similar?

Having an excitable 17hh that thinks it's a pocket rocket pony isn't the end of the world. You'll get there. Horses have a way of teaching us patience as you've found out!
 
Nothing Original said:
Oh my goodness you guys and this forum are just so lovely. Thank you all so much for such kind and helpful words.

I hardly slept last night and although reading your comments has put a lump in my throat (feel like an emotional wreck today!) I can't tell you how much they have helped and also made me realise there may be some hope and that maybe I was just expecting too much at our first show. I think because it was at home I just thought it would be pop down to our arena and trot round like I have been in my lessons. I totally underestimated what a pair of white jods and someone ringing a little bell could do to a horses brain!

I really wasn't expecting that behaviour after how good all the lessons had been. We had been linking 5/6 fences, lots and lots of gridwork etc. and quite a bit bigger than the fences were last night - all from trot so whilst we hadn't jumped a full course as such I really did not think there was any reason we shouldn't be able too, especially as they were so small. He was as good as gold in the warm up - kids cantering ponies about jumping (some with very limited steering bless them) and he was such a gent. Jumped every warm up fence from trot and straight back to trot after so it really was a surprise when he behaved like he did.

I have worked so hard to get this far I really don't want to give up yet but that feeling of not being able to stop really frightened me. Horse is not nasty in any way and never ever bucks rears broncs nothing - he is a proper gentle giant - until someone rings a bell apparently......

I think I need to have a very good chat with my instructor and see what we can do bit wise (and yes definitely a martingale) and then as some of you have suggested try and get out to some clinics and some shows just to warm up etc. before trying a course again. I have had group lessons at home and he just isn't phased (horses can be doing laps in the field next door and he will just carry on good as gold). It had never occurred to me that I would need to go so back to basics in terms of show exposure which is my own fault for thinking I could just start getting on and enjoying my jumping now having put in all the hard work schooling etc. Horse is very sensitive so maybe just because it had been going so well I expected a bit too much?

Re selling him I do know every horse could be sold and you are right that they are very expensive not to be enjoying them but due to his history and what we have been through I just don't feel I could. Hopefully it will not come to the point where I need to consider it. I had my last horse 22 years and when I bought this one I had every intention of doing the same again but you are right to say sometimes we have to accept it just isn't working. I guess I am just not ready to accept that yet.

Thank you all again - I really do appreciate it and am very grateful for such good advice.

x
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Just to say sometimes jumping from a trot makes an excitable horse much worse - they can get frustrated and then get more worked up. If you could use a stronger bit for your first few shows and allow him to canter he may settle better and faster. At least with a stronger bit you still have control, but be careful you aren't trying to control him too much - sometimes trying to restrict too much can also make things 10x worse :)
I'd also jump him in the 80cm or 90cm as 65 is very small and if he has complete lack of respect your job will be much harder!

Don't give up, he just sounds very pleased and excited to be back out at a party so I would forgive :)
 
I know you have an instructor, but I would suggest finding a good show jumping instructor, (maybe professional?) for some extra lessons and advice re the bitting. Show jumpers know lots about control and precision and generally have a tack room full of different bits and suggestions for tack. There is a very good lady near me who has jumped on the British Team, but she is also a really good instructor (not always the case with talented riders). I don't mean to abandon your current instructor if you like them and get on, but it never hurts to have a bit of an alternative suggestions sometimes.
 
only_me said:
Just to say sometimes jumping from a trot makes an excitable horse much worse - they can get frustrated and then get more worked up. If you could use a stronger bit for your first few shows and allow him to canter he may settle better and faster. At least with a stronger bit you still have control, but be careful you aren't trying to control him too much - sometimes trying to restrict too much can also make things 10x worse :)
I'd also jump him in the 80cm or 90cm as 65 is very small and if he has complete lack of respect your job will be much harder!

Don't give up, he just sounds very pleased and excited to be back out at a party so I would forgive :)
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I think this is really good advice. Trot is probably not the pace you would be working from ordinarily in a competition and establishing a safe, forward and respectful canter might be more appropriate and easier for you and him. You may find it easier to hold him together more in canter and you might find it better to be taking on slightly bigger jumps - especially if he is a big, capable horse. A horse I had was a bit like this and needed something bigger to help him focus on the jumping rather than the excitement! Much to my terror initially, bigger courses were safer for us. A martingale would be a good extra as might a bit re-think. Don't give up - he sounds like he enjoys the work, though perhaps he thinks he has a little attitude!
 
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