She's critically ill and I'm scared stiff!!

Thank you. Don't worry I'm a bit of a mess still. It comes in waves, then I'm not too bad again.

Back to work tomorrow which helps with some normality but I'm telling you....I'm bored already! I go down to my stables and just stand there. Truth is though it's just too soon to even contemplate investing my emotions into horse shopping.

I hope I will though, main thing now is to speak to my vet and get some closure. Hubby agrees if I do get a new horse it will be a pure Clyde again.

And ironically, I'd bought a new trailer for her and it's ready to collect. Crap with no horse to put in it. So unfair!!
 
It's horrible not fair , fate is just a real bitch sometimes .
Have a cyber hug from me and store that trailer iI am sure you will need it soon.
 
cblover said:
Thank you. Don't worry I'm a bit of a mess still. It comes in waves, then I'm not too bad again.

Back to work tomorrow which helps with some normality but I'm telling you....I'm bored already! I go down to my stables and just stand there. Truth is though it's just too soon to even contemplate investing my emotions into horse shopping.

I hope I will though, main thing now is to speak to my vet and get some closure. Hubby agrees if I do get a new horse it will be a pure Clyde again.

And ironically, I'd bought a new trailer for her and it's ready to collect. Crap with no horse to put in it. So unfair!!
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Take your time, get some answers from vet at least then you will have closure so to speak, relish your lovely memories of her (albeit short) and then you can look to the future with hopefully another Clyde - not one to replace Mary but one to love and cherish as equally. x
 
cblover said:
Thank you. Don't worry I'm a bit of a mess still. It comes in waves, then I'm not too bad again.

Back to work tomorrow which helps with some normality but I'm telling you....I'm bored already! I go down to my stables and just stand there. Truth is though it's just too soon to even contemplate investing my emotions into horse shopping.

I hope I will though, main thing now is to speak to my vet and get some closure. Hubby agrees if I do get a new horse it will be a pure Clyde again.

And ironically, I'd bought a new trailer for her and it's ready to collect. Crap with no horse to put in it. So unfair!!
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No hurry to do anything, it took me2 + years to clear my mares stable or touch anything or change anything. Take your time and allow yourself to come to terms and get the reasons and closure before you do anything.
 
The words below were said to me in 2004 after I had lost two horses, one of which was young and in his prime, in the space of 8 days. I have never forgotten these words. I did buy again, and bred one and gave a home to a misfit. I will have to face the loss of one in the not too distance future too, but these words stay with me.


'Remember, you are a good and experienced owner, remember, the horses you have just lost had the best possible home, they knew no pain, hunger or fear in the years they spent with you. They were lucky horses to be in your care. Mostly importantly remember, another horse would love to be allowed into your care and kindness. Don't give up, another horse needs you'

cblover, don't rush, don't try to replace - that is impossible, but maybe these words will help you when the time is right.
 
AA - what lovely words and I know you're right. She's only been gone since Thursday but I'm going stir crazy already. I miss the routine, the caring of them, the fact that something needs me.....all the reasons we all do it each and every day.

My 'ranch' as I call it, is so empty as I look over the 3 acres I have. The rack room is clean & tidy, all 3 stables have been cleaned out, fields cleared of muck, hand standing area all cleared, water buckets cleaned, fences all in good repair, barn stacked full of hay, just had a delivery of shavings, trailer to collect soon, tack cleaned and stored and rugs washed and put away......but it means nothing without the right horse.

A friend has told me it's ok to start looking now, but I feel like I'm betraying her if I do.
 
cblover said:
AA - what lovely words and I know you're right. She's only been gone since Thursday but I'm going stir crazy already. I miss the routine, the caring of them, the fact that something needs me.....all the reasons we all do it each and every day.

My 'ranch' as I call it, is so empty as I look over the 3 acres I have. The rack room is clean & tidy, all 3 stables have been cleaned out, fields cleared of muck, hand standing area all cleared, water buckets cleaned, fences all in good repair, barn stacked full of hay, just had a delivery of shavings, trailer to collect soon, tack cleaned and stored and rugs washed and put away......but it means nothing without the right horse.

A friend has told me it's ok to start looking now, but I feel like I'm betraying her if I do.
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bless you I think if you want to look for another horse then do it, there is nothing worse than looking at an empty stable after you have lost one :( take care of yourself you have been through a terrible situation x
 
have just read this post and really feel for you. what bad luck to lose your new horse....I know you are really missing her but as you have the stables,land etc why not contact one of the welfare centres and offer a couple of ponies a foster home rather than buy something else too quickly...we all grieve in different ways so whatever you do isn't wrong but this happened so quickly you are probably still in shock so take your time with any decisions......just don't be too hard on yourself as you did everything possible and I am sure your horse felt loved right to the end. HUGS!!!!!
 
cblover said:
A friend has told me it's ok to start looking now, but I feel like I'm betraying her if I do.
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as a good friend once said to me. instead of feeling like you are betraying her think of looking for another as a compliment to her as she made you need another to give you the love and pleasure that she gave you
 
That is such a good way of looking at how to move on. When Jason died suddenly I knew straight away that I would have another horse. I just knew I needed one, too much of a gap in my life. I told myself to wait a few weeks so that I didn't rush out of grief and make a mistake. Is there an event - holiday/birthday Escobar you could use in that way.
 
cblover said:
A friend has told me it's ok to start looking now, but I feel like I'm betraying her if I do.
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Of course it's ok to start looking now. If you are anything like me, owning a horse is part of your identity.When I lost my second horse after having his mother pts five months before, I wandered round trying to work out what 'normal' people do with their time. I bought the first horse I looked at, two weeks after losing my homebred gelding.
 
splashgirl45 said:
I know you are really missing her but as you have the stables,land etc why not contact one of the welfare centres and offer a couple of ponies a foster home rather than buy something else too quickly...
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Definitely something to consider. I've done this recently after losing a horse, and it has helped me. I'm very fond of the foster pony, and I'm enjoying handling her, but I haven't got the same emotional involvement with her as I would do with another 'owned' horse. It's helping me and it's helping her, as she's flourishing with one to one care.
 
I have a friend with some rescue ponies and I had one as mez's companion while she was here. I'm going to see her this week and no doubt we'll chat about that.
 
it woud probably help if something was in the yard , when I lost my old gelding I mucked his box out and couldn't bear to see it empty so I moved my youngster into his box. I never forgot him but it heped to have a lttle face looking over his door rather than an empty space which made me miss him even more,( this was 30 years ago and I still haven't forgotten him!!)
 
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