She's here!

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RidingAgain

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After a rather fast-paced week my new horse is here. (!!) Meet Luna, who is settling in well to the field at the end of our garden (hanging out lots over the fence with the mares next dooe). She's lovely and has mainly been very calm. I am so excited but have the FEAR big time, all at the same time, as you all said I would.

Happily I have the very kind livery yard bail out option - I can ride her 10 minutes up the road with an hour's notice and they will take her in and the YO has already texted me with lots of lovely advice. She's such a nice woman. My neighbours are being helpful and my daughter will die of happiness and surprise when she gets back from her grandparents on Saturday. But I still have the fear a bit.

Planning to lunge her tomorrow and then ride her if it feels right. I led her in hand a bit today which went well and she's been coming up to me over the fence and when I go out the field. She is very keen to eat everything in sight so was a bit bargey when I tied her up but listened to me once I'd asserted myself a bit.

Wish me luck. I'll be posted about 10,000 threads for help over the next few days I imagine.

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Thanks everyone! Am spending a fair amount of time gazing at her over the fence and chatting to her as I go about my business. She's fine this morning and ambled around with me while I did some poo picking. Got this week to begin to get to know her and my first weekly lesson next Saturday. So exciting!
 
Congratulations- she is lovely. I'm 9 weeks into ownership of my newbie and I'm still excited every time I see her. I've had lots of confidence issues but I made myself ride her lots straight away (even if just for short periods) - it really helped us both settle and get to know each other. Fast forward a few weeks and we did our first hack (my first hack for two and a half years) and we've not looked back since as a partnership. All the very best with her and one v lucky daughter.
 
What an absolutely beautiful horse OP. You must be chuffed to bits. You'll have to post some pictures of the Shetland when it arrives too!
 
Am reminded of my old YO's husband saying "handsome is as handsome does" to me when looking for my first horse years ago. Not had a good day with her. She's been very strong and bargey and nipped me. Not very hard but a definite nip on my bum!

I lunged her, which was ok though she really wanted to just eat the grass and quite hard to stop her doing so. She wants to eat everything all the time, won't stand for any reason.

Then I got on. She wouldn't stand for me to get on or adjust my stirrups and then she napped for about 15 minutes until, ashamedly, I gave up and got off as I literally could not get her to move. I then tried to lead her back to where I had her tied up to untack her and she literally wouldn't move. I had to untack her in the field.

I'm thinking: she's settling in, she might be lonely (she basically wanted to be at the far end of the field where she can chat to the others), she's not used to my non-traditional set up (have marked out an arena within the field using electric fencing, so she's essentially working in the field she plays in), she's hungry and that's why she's trying to eat everything in sight including ivy and any random tree/bush (but she was just on grass before and there's plenty here), maybe she needs the back man etc etc.

But I'm also thinking that she was sold to me as a "mother's dream", always looks after rider, no vices, never naps, perfect for a novice, safe around kids and even if any/all of the above is true and she is feeling really unsettled and knows she can get away with it with me I wouldn't expect her to behave like this. I bought her as a horse that is really easy going, good for my level, could be ridden by a child. Wondering if I've made a giant mistake and that I should think about the money back option.

I will be getting my instructor over - she was supposed to come tomorrow but she's unwell so I may have to make a decision before I can get her over here. Feeling like I don't really want to ride her again. She was lovely to ride when I tried her, if a bit lazy, but it's a whole different story here.

ARGH!
 
Even the most sage horse can and will act up occasionally.

I don't mean for this to come across in an offensive way, but sounds like she knows she can take the mick with you already and by getting off you've reinforced her bad behaviour.

Ask your instructor to ride her for you tomorrow so you can nip all this in the bud now. She's your first in a long while and you're probably wanting to be extra nice to her and bond with her and are possibly a bit wary of her by the sounds of it but you need to start as you mean to go on.

For now tell yourself that she is a horse and not a friend and you will treat her as such. Don't beat yourself up, we all have bad days!
 
How long have you had her? (I think 2 days but i'm not sure?). It's really not that long though. She will have come from a busy dealers yard to being practically by herself. That's a really big change for her!

When I got my first horse he took a while to settle and was VERY nappy, he's much better now but does need to be 'pushed' through things (though he is a safe ride) - your girl might end up the same.

When I got mine, I gave him 5 days to settle before I rode. I would give her more time, at the moment she doesn't know you and when you ask her to do something she doesn't know she can trust you. Why not concentrate on groundwork for a few days before riding her? Get her moving away from you when you ask, turning in small circles when you ask, backing up etc instead of riding. This will also help with the barging as she needs to learn to not invade your space and move when asked.

no matter how bombproof the horse, they all take time to settle when they go to an unknown place with strangers! If she doesn't get any better, why not move her to the livery yard see if she's better there?

ETA: Just seen there's a 'money back option'. How long does this last? Like I said, it can take a while to settle so it's difficult. Once she's settled she might turn into the perfect horse. But this might take more time then the 'money back guarantee'.
 
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SpringArising said:
Even the most sage horse can and will act up occasionally.

I don't mean for this to come across in an offensive way, but sounds like she knows she can take the mick with you already and by getting off you've reinforced her bad behaviour.

Ask your instructor to ride her for you tomorrow so you can nip all this in the bud now. She's your first in a long while and you're probably wanting to be extra nice to her and bond with her and are possibly a bit wary of her by the sounds of it but you need to start as you mean to go on.

For now tell yourself that she is a horse and not a friend and you will treat her as such. Don't beat yourself up, we all have bad days!
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Not offensive at all and no doubt entirely true! I do feel a but wary of her - worse now she's nipped me. And I HATE that I got off and was defeated as I know that's the worst thing. I just could literally not get her to move an inch.
 
Amye said:
How long have you had her? (I think 2 days but i'm not sure?). It's really not that long though. She will have come from a busy dealers yard to being practically by herself. That's a really big change for her!

When I got my first horse he took a while to settle and was VERY nappy, he's much better now but does need to be 'pushed' through things (though he is a safe ride) - your girl might end up the same.

When I got mine, I gave him 5 days to settle before I rode. I would give her more time, at the moment she doesn't know you and when you ask her to do something she doesn't know she can trust you. Why not concentrate on groundwork for a few days before riding her? Get her moving away from you when you ask, turning in small circles when you ask, backing up etc instead of riding. This will also help with the barging as she needs to learn to not invade your space and move when asked.

no matter how bombproof the horse, they all take time to settle when they go to an unknown place with strangers! If she doesn't get any better, why not move her to the livery yard see if she's better there?

ETA: Just seen there's a 'money back option'. How long does this last? Like I said, it can take a while to settle so it's difficult. Once she's settled she might turn into the perfect horse. But this might take more time then the 'money back guarantee'.
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Money back is usually 14 days but as she's been sold for the owner it's only 7 days. Really good idea to focus on groundwork, though I'm torn between just waiting and working on her slowly and wanting to check I haven't made a mistake before the money back option expires. Think I probably need to think about something else for a couple of hours and let my head clear!
 
RidingAgain said:
Money back is usually 14 days but as she's been sold for the owner it's only 7 days. Really good idea to focus on groundwork, though I'm torn between just waiting and working on her slowly and wanting to check I haven't made a mistake before the money back option expires. Think I probably need to think about something else for a couple of hours and let my head clear!
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I think that's a good idea. Go and think about something else for a while and then maybe go and see her again and just stay nice and relaxed. I'm not saying work her, just potter about.

It is a difficult decision - obviously if there was no money back then you would probably try and work with her and give it time, but if you have 7 days to decide it's hard. 7 days isn't enough time for a horse to feel 100% settled in a new place though, so she still might not be perfect after that. I'd get your instructor down to have a look at her and work with her. They might be able to give you thoughts on how easy they think her behaviour will be to rectify and whether it's worth giving her a chance.
 
RidingAgain said:
Money back is usually 14 days but as she's been sold for the owner it's only 7 days. Really good idea to focus on groundwork, though I'm torn between just waiting and working on her slowly and wanting to check I haven't made a mistake before the money back option expires. Think I probably need to think about something else for a couple of hours and let my head clear!
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Please don't get disheartened - about 3 weeks after I got mine home she decided to nap to be mounted. Mounting is one of my 'things' as I had a bad fall mounting. The first day she did it I wanted to cry, here was my perfect horse not being perfect and worse playing up to one of my fears. It took 10 minutes to get on and I worked at it and realised that her nappiness was must likely due to me being slightly hesitant. My fear became hers etc. It took about 10 days to stop completely. Sit down, have a think what went wrong and why and how you do it differently tomorrow. She is the same horse - you just need to remind yourself of that and then you can remind her of that. Get your instructor or a friend out to help you from the ground with her and ride her out - riding in the eating field is a challenge for a lot of horses.
 
Sounds like the problem could be due to one of or several factors. You say she's hungry? Her field looks small and boring to me, she's on her own and will be miserable. The biggest difficulty could well be riding in her own field, that rarely goes well ! Maybe move to the livery yard, even if it's just for a few weeks, get some help and some company and try and ride her out on hacks instead of round in circles. Have some fun with her or it could all just carry on going wrong with your present set up
 
I would move her to the livery yard now, today. Get the YO to help you to get her there. An inexperienced owner and a lonely mare are not a good set up. Once you two have sorted life out you can bring her home.
Good luck.
 
She's a pretty little thing. Having seen your more recent posts, unless your set up now is very similar to her last home, this could well be down to her being unsettled and/or different handling (this could still be the case even if it is similar, ofc, but being different is more likely to create a bigger reaction I suspect). I think you need to allow for settling in time but also ensure you are both in the best set up to be successful. If it were me, I'd have her on a yard where she has horse company in the field and you have more help and company too. Horses can be really surprising when they are in a new home, doesn't mean they won't be fine in the end but it can a bit bumpy along the way, so set both you up in the best way now for long term success.
 
RidingAgain said:
Am reminded of my old YO's husband saying "handsome is as handsome does" to me when looking for my first horse years ago. Not had a good day with her. She's been very strong and bargey and nipped me. Not very hard but a definite nip on my bum!

I lunged her, which was ok though she really wanted to just eat the grass and quite hard to stop her doing so. She wants to eat everything all the time, won't stand for any reason.

Then I got on. She wouldn't stand for me to get on or adjust my stirrups and then she napped for about 15 minutes until, ashamedly, I gave up and got off as I literally could not get her to move. I then tried to lead her back to where I had her tied up to untack her and she literally wouldn't move. I had to untack her in the field.

I'm thinking: she's settling in, she might be lonely (she basically wanted to be at the far end of the field where she can chat to the others), she's not used to my non-traditional set up (have marked out an arena within the field using electric fencing, so she's essentially working in the field she plays in), she's hungry and that's why she's trying to eat everything in sight including ivy and any random tree/bush (but she was just on grass before and there's plenty here), maybe she needs the back man etc etc.

But I'm also thinking that she was sold to me as a "mother's dream", always looks after rider, no vices, never naps, perfect for a novice, safe around kids and even if any/all of the above is true and she is feeling really unsettled and knows she can get away with it with me I wouldn't expect her to behave like this. I bought her as a horse that is really easy going, good for my level, could be ridden by a child. Wondering if I've made a giant mistake and that I should think about the money back option.

I will be getting my instructor over - she was supposed to come tomorrow but she's unwell so I may have to make a decision before I can get her over here. Feeling like I don't really want to ride her again. She was lovely to ride when I tried her, if a bit lazy, but it's a whole different story here.

ARGH!
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This is precisely why you need her in an experienced and structured set up.
Livery yard immediately and daily assistance
 
ihatework said:
This is precisely why you need her in an experienced and structured set up.
Livery yard immediately and daily assistance
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Agreed. I understand that it's lovely to have a horse at home, but your set up is not ideal and you will find it very helpful to have more experienced people around you.
 
I've had lots of chats with the livery, the dealer, my instructor etc. It's the nipping that's the deal breaker for me. I totally agree that she needs to be on the livery (and I should have sent her there from the beginning - lesson so well learned) but if I keep her another few days to get her settled in to the livery, see how it goes in different set-up and with my instructor on tap and then find she's still a biter I will regret it forever as I won't be able to send her back. I was straight with the dealer about the set-up here, what I needed and was promised a totally viceless, safest horse possible who would be very easy going, easy to handle always etc. I was naive. I am seeing her at her absolute worst, but if her worst is biting then I don't want to risk it. I've decided to send her back tomorrow, before my children come back from being away and the whole thing gets more complicated and emotionally loaded.

I know I *should* stick it out and that most likely, given the right set up and an experienced person helping me she'd turn back in to the horse I rode and that I haven't given her time to settle. But I've rationalised that it's worse to be saddled with a (not cheap) horse that bites and destroys my confidence than miss out on my dream horse. There are more horses in the field! And this way she gets to go back to the yard she knows and hopefully won't have been too traumatic for her.

My new plan is to wait, have some more lessons, keep my ears to the ground through the contacts I'm making and if I find something else I will put her straight in full livery from the beginning and have my instructor there when I ride her/him the first few times.

I feel really sad, sick and churned up about it but relieved to have made the decision and I know it's the right thing. And thank you wise ones for not saying you told me so about the livery because you totally did, and so the the lovely YO who has been trying to help me. And I promise I've learned my lesson.

On the plus side I've really tidied up my field, have some manure for the garden and about 600m of electric fencing I don't need!
 
Absolutely not. No signs whatsoever. She was a bit over-keen to rub her head all over me, so I can see now the precursors of not being good at respecting my space. But I guess I wasn't alone with her, grooming her, handling her in the way I was here.
 
why not put her at the livery yard, as i said previously its a big change to go from a busy yard to being on her own....lots of us on here have owned horses for many years and have given you our advice, which in the main, was go to livery first. having a horse at home is very tempting but you have no immediate help if things go wrong...you may find that she is biting because she is worried . it would be a shame to let her go without trying everything.. good luck...
 
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