Should I be flattered or offended?? A bit of both?

PapaFrita

PapaFrita

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Went to visit Former Instructor's new place and saw some of his youngstock, and then P rode one of his babies (rather badly) and Former Instructor asked if I liked him (the baby!) and I said yes (because he is very nice) and FI said he'd suit me (yeah, at US$8000- which I haven't got!) So I smiled and made flip remark like "I like small mares" to change the subject, and he said "That's why you're only jumping 90cm" (in competition) and I said (again, flippantly, but 1/2 true) "Actually, it's because I'm scared" and he said "You're scared because you've got that mare- The way you ride, you should be jumping 1.20 by now"
I was soooooo offended!! Course, the last time he saw PF jump was in Feb, on grass, upset after being rattled around in the trailer and woefully underbitted (my bad) So we tore round at warp speed but still came second with a double clear round (didn't touch a pole!). She's not always like that!! I HATE when people put PF down; NOBODY is allowed to do that.
Never mind that he said I should be jumping 1.20; I was bricking it over 80cm last year. I think I'm doing bloody well!! And in any case, if I didn't have 'quirky' horse like A and PF to work with I doubt I would've come this far in a year.
Rant over, thanks for listening!!
 

It is SO easy for people to make flippant comments without knowing the background. You have come on so far with your jumping and there is nothing wrong with the size you are jumping and deffo not PF's fault or yours.

Just laugh it off, he is not worth it- He is too busy probably looking down his nose to other people......
 
Nobody can tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing. It is up to you. Why jump 1.20 if all it will do is scare you even more!

I don't jump very big, but am happy at the little jumps we do.

I have my horse for pleasure and jumping 1.20 is way too stressful for me, so I stick to what makes me happy.

Don't worry hun, it is a male opinion and they all like to overboast!
 
Be proud of yourself. It's not his place to judge and it is your confidence and self esteem that is involved. Tell him:
It isn't how HIGH you jump, but with what GRACE and HAPPINESS you and your horse go over the jump in that matters
I think you and her look fabulous together, no matter what size the fence is
xx
 
Who says you should be jumping that height? Id ignore this persons comment. Not everybody wants to jump 1.20m for christs sake. If you're scared then obviously you're one of them who doesn't want to go much higher and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You know your mare is great and that's all that matters
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Just remember he didn't see her on a good day so he doesn't know the true PF. Just take it as a compliment on your riding!
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I'd like to jump 1.20 one day... but not this year!! I want to be jumping confidently and regularly clear at the lower heights before moving on. Bit of a perfectionist me! I don't see why it should bother him!!
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He used to be my Instructor though... perhaps he's indirectly bitching at the Bossy Old Fart?
 
Probably is! But would you want a guy who is quick to judge PF as your instructor and as for buying one of his horses......

How much is the Lottery these days?
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He HAS seen her jump well, but I think he's either indirectly slagging BOF off as an instructor, or trying to get me back as a pupil, OR trying to sell me a horse... Perhaps all 3!!
Actually, I probably LOOK alot more scared than I actually am when I'm jumping as I pull some godawful faces!!
 
I hate it when people comment like that without knowing the full history!!

I was on a x country lesson a few weeks ago and the instuctor said I was too soft and too nice to April!
What made it worse is that she didn't say it to me, she said it to my friend who she met later in the week.

I totally know I cater to April too much, but the fact is she's 23, it was our first x country together and she also used to hate all people and was out of work for years before I starting riding her because of it so I have been taking things deliberately slowly to build up trust between us!! i'd rather be a bit soft than the other way anyway hmpf!
 
Well reason I stopped taking regular lessons with him was I didn't like how hard and long he jumps horses. PF was getting frazzled by having to do the same exercise over and over again, even when she was tired and started rattling poles.
 
Hunny, without that mare to ride, would you be able to stay on even a 1/4 of what A has thrown at you in the past? She has taught you loads and equally you have taught her loads. She shows the talent at home and in time that will come out in competition and FI will have to eat his words - esp. when he tries to buy her off you for a lot of dosh, that will of course be gracefully refused. Don't him rattle you, as that may make you doubt her and you don't want to bring that element into your relationship. She rocks and you rocks - simple as that my sweet!! *HUGGLES*
 
Thanks SN
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There was a time when even the BOF thought I should give up and sell her and get something more suitable... he soon changed his tune! You're absolutely right I've learnt a HUGE amount from her and she definitely paved the way for the way I got into A's good books. I think she rocks too!
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[ QUOTE ]
but does he like standing martingales...?

[/ QUOTE ]
Huh? I think I must've missed something (unsurprising!)
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I don't know how the FI feels about standing martingales, actually. I jump A in one though *ducks flying stones* because he likes to chuck his head up occasionally.
 
haha, i was just raking over the standing martingale post again.... was supposed to be funny...sorry ! :-(
 
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