niagaraduval
Well-Known Member
As most of you have been following my posts I think most of you know the background to this post.
Anyway, I love my horse so much. I have owned him for 6 years, bought him off the track as a total nutter at 4 and although I threatened to sell him countless times I kept him and he has become my horse of a lifetime. I always told my self that how ever bad things got (whether financially or not, and when things got really bad we still found a way to pay for anything he needed) I would do what ever I could to keep him.
I have a very stressful life, and I think my character might be something to do with this and I might just need a big kick up the arse.
I am a natural born worrier, I worry all day and night 24/7. I often go without days of sleep at a time.
I also find it impossible to forgive and forget. If someone hurts me or does something to break my trust that's it, they are out the door.. because of this I have found myself very lonely.
I have a loaner who loans Niagara for 2 days a week, this keeps him ticking over in the week, just about.. and he is turned out all day too, given the facilities (or lack of them..) I cannot go and ride or see him during the week, so the weekends are the when I would spend all day with him.
A couple of months ago there was a big 'fight' at the 'yard' (a neighbor has 1 horse and field and a stable so he lives there) with another person who put their horse there, we (my loaner and I) are the victims and are being treated like sh ! t whenever we go up there. There is no other place to put the horse, there is a livery yard about 30 km away and I have no transport, but costs 3 times more than what I am paying and I just could never, ever afford it.
It has got to the point where when I go up, even to pay the rent they take the money and look the other way. I say 'hello' and they look the other way, They tell neighbors about how we don't ride the horse (Although in the winter he is ridden 4 times a week I find that pretty darn good considering both loaner and me do 37h + /week and there are NO lights or school, and they take their horse out every 2 or 3 months). They tell other people that come how we don't do this or that or how we apparently f * everything up and generally know nothing about horses although both me and loaner come from very horsey backgrounds with both parents and grandparents in the horse world and having had ponies since we were young. They are new owners, they have had their horse 9 years but had never had anything to do with horses before and I see alot of things that I would never do with my horse as I have been educated not to for example.
Loaner fell of horse last week and they were both hurt, they did nothing and didn't contact me, the owner, they didn't call an ambulance for my loaner and told everyone that my loaner couldn't ride and that my horse was crazy ?? He slipped on the road, It happens. My horse is such a good boy to ride and would never hurt anyone, my loaner is also the best rider I know and does such a lovely job of riding and schooling him and most of all I totally trust her with him 100%. Even after almost smashing her hip she is up wanting to take him out again.
The thing is this horrible atmosphere is taking it's toll on us. Horse takes a big lump of my money and I have to go witout a lot to keep him , although it's my choice I wouldn't have it any other way. My loaner is also feeling this and after her accident has carried on going up to groom him etc. but will not go up alone anymore and asks me to come with her if I can or she waits for her OH to come up with her. I also do not like going up alone anymore and don't have anyone to come up with me. I feel totally as if I am being bullied, or maybe this isn't bullying ?
I have also discovered a few things since the 'fight' that have really really totally killed every bit of trust I had over there.
I pay for nothing, litterally. But there is nowhere else to put him and the only positive thing about it is that he is 5 mins walk away.
All enjoyment has gone, the love for my horse is still there, the love for the sport is still there and will always be there I think. I am just so upset and stressed all the time and I think it's unhealthy. The thought of selling him entered my head for a split second although I don't want to get rid of him, ever. I am just finding it hard to keep the tears away...
Anyway, I love my horse so much. I have owned him for 6 years, bought him off the track as a total nutter at 4 and although I threatened to sell him countless times I kept him and he has become my horse of a lifetime. I always told my self that how ever bad things got (whether financially or not, and when things got really bad we still found a way to pay for anything he needed) I would do what ever I could to keep him.
I have a very stressful life, and I think my character might be something to do with this and I might just need a big kick up the arse.
I am a natural born worrier, I worry all day and night 24/7. I often go without days of sleep at a time.
I also find it impossible to forgive and forget. If someone hurts me or does something to break my trust that's it, they are out the door.. because of this I have found myself very lonely.
I have a loaner who loans Niagara for 2 days a week, this keeps him ticking over in the week, just about.. and he is turned out all day too, given the facilities (or lack of them..) I cannot go and ride or see him during the week, so the weekends are the when I would spend all day with him.
A couple of months ago there was a big 'fight' at the 'yard' (a neighbor has 1 horse and field and a stable so he lives there) with another person who put their horse there, we (my loaner and I) are the victims and are being treated like sh ! t whenever we go up there. There is no other place to put the horse, there is a livery yard about 30 km away and I have no transport, but costs 3 times more than what I am paying and I just could never, ever afford it.
It has got to the point where when I go up, even to pay the rent they take the money and look the other way. I say 'hello' and they look the other way, They tell neighbors about how we don't ride the horse (Although in the winter he is ridden 4 times a week I find that pretty darn good considering both loaner and me do 37h + /week and there are NO lights or school, and they take their horse out every 2 or 3 months). They tell other people that come how we don't do this or that or how we apparently f * everything up and generally know nothing about horses although both me and loaner come from very horsey backgrounds with both parents and grandparents in the horse world and having had ponies since we were young. They are new owners, they have had their horse 9 years but had never had anything to do with horses before and I see alot of things that I would never do with my horse as I have been educated not to for example.
Loaner fell of horse last week and they were both hurt, they did nothing and didn't contact me, the owner, they didn't call an ambulance for my loaner and told everyone that my loaner couldn't ride and that my horse was crazy ?? He slipped on the road, It happens. My horse is such a good boy to ride and would never hurt anyone, my loaner is also the best rider I know and does such a lovely job of riding and schooling him and most of all I totally trust her with him 100%. Even after almost smashing her hip she is up wanting to take him out again.
The thing is this horrible atmosphere is taking it's toll on us. Horse takes a big lump of my money and I have to go witout a lot to keep him , although it's my choice I wouldn't have it any other way. My loaner is also feeling this and after her accident has carried on going up to groom him etc. but will not go up alone anymore and asks me to come with her if I can or she waits for her OH to come up with her. I also do not like going up alone anymore and don't have anyone to come up with me. I feel totally as if I am being bullied, or maybe this isn't bullying ?
I have also discovered a few things since the 'fight' that have really really totally killed every bit of trust I had over there.
I pay for nothing, litterally. But there is nowhere else to put him and the only positive thing about it is that he is 5 mins walk away.
All enjoyment has gone, the love for my horse is still there, the love for the sport is still there and will always be there I think. I am just so upset and stressed all the time and I think it's unhealthy. The thought of selling him entered my head for a split second although I don't want to get rid of him, ever. I am just finding it hard to keep the tears away...
