Should I give up riding after having a baby?

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sparky1981

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I'm hoping you guys can help me. My daughter is now nearly 1 and a half. I sold my Bs gelding a few months after she was born as I found it difficult to keep up competing at bs and found after having my little one I don't want to jump the bigger tracks. However I didn't feel ready to give up. So I brought myself a little connie 4 year old to school on and just do some little bits with. Now in high in sight I should of brought an older happy hacker to do the odd bit of riding club rather than a youngster that has his good days and bad days and baby moments. I am experienced, have had youngsters before but I just feel since having a family I've lost my confidence. Now my youngster is doing really well and is ready to go out competing. I took him Xc schooling last weekend and he was fab but did have some napping stupid moments as all babies do and I just hate it as I constantly worry ill have an accident even though I haven't yet and if i did how I will look after my baby girl. So stupid I know but I'm just wondering if I should have a break until my little ones older. I love my horses and am fine when the goings good but just can't deal with issues anymore. Does anyone else feel like this? Or have any advice on what I should do?thanks
 
Mom had me up the field at 8wks old, was competing 4 weeks after birth (god only knows how!), but she carried on riding and competing, i was stuck on a pony as soon as i was able so she took me hacking. Where there's a will there's a way!
 
It's totally natural OP to lose confidence and become less brave once you have a baby. It's nature's way of preserving you as a mum :D

How about a sharer to help compete and school the youngster and you stick to slightly lesser stuff for now. Take the pressure off yourself - your confidence will return, but give yourself some time :) Your horse won't care if you are competing or not.
 
Thanks for your reply.yeah my little one has been up the stables from day 1 and I was competing my previous horse that I trusted its just my youngster I'm struggling with I think :(
 
I did have a girl hacking him for me as he lacks confidence hacking by himself as had never done it but she unfortunetly doesn't have enough time now and it's soo difficult to find an experienced rider as I tried it before I sold my bs gelding and it was a nightmare trying to find someone capable. I had toyed with the idea of putting him out on loan for a year or 2 but again the right home is soo important.
 
I don't have an answer but am in a similar position.

I have a lovely 5 year old ISH (and two small sons) and am finding it so hard to fit in all the education he needs. I took him to a clear round last weekend and he was lovely but very wobbly and looky, I need to be doing that every week until it's 'business as usual' for him. Hard to manage that with babies (human), and goodness knows if I'll be brave enough for larger XC when the time comes. I am considering selling him in the interests of time, money, safety and sanity... but then I look at him and he's sooooo gorgeous...

I do still have occasional use of my old horse and he does give me my confidence back as he's so brilliantly reliable. Could you borrow something older for the occasional confidence boost? And confidence does come back, mine did in between children and it is getting better all the time again now.
 
Is he nice to hack/ potter around, he will absolutely not care if he's not out competing and unless you're rushing to sell him you can improve his education in a few years time when he's more physically mature and you have more time/ confidence.

No harm in him having a slower pace of life to suit what you feel happy with for a few years.
If you are a little hesitant XC schooling he will pick that up very quickly and loose confidence himself.
 
Abacus I feel the same. I've done so much work with my boy and he's turned into a stunning boy but it is also the time too. I also have a retired boy and a pony companion for him too as well as liveries I do for people. My daughters very good and comes with me but now she's on the move its becoming more and more difficult.

He is generally good to hack but does have baby nappy moments particularly on his own. Where he will spin and try to go up if he wants to go in a different direction or doesn't like something.i always nip it in the bud but I sometimes just wish I could have a relaxing ride!
 
No you shouldn't stop riding so long as you're still enjoying it
How about an older ned who 's less demanding and education is complete. School master type.
 
Perhaps rather than giving up totally you need a different horse more suited to your lifestyle? One that's a bit older, maybe less flashy but that if it has to have a week or two off it doesn't matter. One you can just hop on and go for a hack in the sun and not worry?Connies are lovely but a youngster is a youngster.
Ive bought on a couple of babies now and it is hard! Even with just me in my 20's and all the time in the world it could be hard. They require so much consistency. My boy is turning 8 now and I'm about to have my first baby, he's now at the stage where he is establish. I can happily leave him for a week and he's just the same. He's been competing out most weekends with me for 3yrs and he knows his job. It's lovely but I have put in a lot of time andeffort to get him to be the pick up/put down allrounder he is now.You'll be inundated with interest for a young Connie and you could pick a super home. Then you can take a break and decide what you really want out of horses and go from there?
 
Tricky, I know exactly how you feel. I stupidly bought a 4 year old cob in Nov and am finding it hard to do all he needs with my children (11 months and 4 years), I too had lost confidence after babies, but as my faithful old mare had retired I was itching to ride again. I couldn't afford the sort of established happy hacking RC alrounder I needed, and my boy is soooo cute I was suckered in. Unlike you however I had no experience of bringing on a youngster. I am sticking with it but have help, and at times I am realy enjoying it. If I were you I would be looking to share or loan out initially, or if that was a no no sell and buy something more relaxing.
 
I totally know how you feel. I was in the same position - I'd just taken on a connie x tb 4 yo for a friend who I'd been bringing on, along side my older mare. When I found out I was pregnant I gave up riding as both could be unpredictable, but I was adament noone else could ride the 4yo. I totally lost my confidence over the next 9 months and ended up giving the 4yo back to my friend, tough decision. I hacked out my older mare and joined a riding club and got my confidence back to some degree, but not to how it was. I'm having number two now so off games again and hope I'll be ok this one with just the older mare. It may be worth reassessing your plans and focus on building your general confidence up with an older horse, and perhaps loaning or sharing the younger horse? It's a tough decision but you have to do what's right for you - plus it won't last forever (or so I'm told...)!
 
I don't think you need to give it up. If you still enjoy it then there is no reason to quit. I Appreciate priorities change after having a baby so maybe just taking a slower pace to the riding and just go hacking, wheather it be with your current horse or another only you can decide on that, if you are happy / confident and feel safe on your current horse then he is not going to mind not going out competing and seeing different places. As long as horses are fed / watered and kept warm they are happy.

If you do not feel safe on your current horse while out hacking then maybe consider selling and getting yourself a horse that is a confident hack or loan/share another.

Good luck and definately no means to give it all up.
 
Look round for a swap? Perhaps someone has an older horse that has to be retired to just hacking from competing and they're looking for a younger horse to bring on?
 
Probably not really qualified to comment as I don't have kids, but I do sometimes wonder if people put too much pressure on themselves to compete / school their horses as otherwise they feel like they are letting them down or they are going to waste, or could do better in a different home etc. they are all horses at the end of the day, they don't understand what they were 'bred' to do, eat sleep and roam around a field as far as they are concerned I should think

My boy is a youngster, and if in the next couple of years I decide to have a kid, he won't be going anywhere, even if he becomes a pet, regardless of his passport, he isn't a tool, he is a member of the family and I don't think he would wish for any more than to have a warm back, full belly, and to be loved, any more than if (god forbid) he became unridable for some reason. Of course if there isn't the time forthe basic looking after, then that is another story
 
Don't give up , as others have suggested I would look for something a bit older.
My sons are 4 and nearly 7 and my horse was 17 when my first son was born we just potter about now , I have just bought a colt who is only 2 months o,d he comes home in September , I bought such a youngster so I can assure in 4 years when his education starts properly I have the time for him as both my boys will be at school .
You could always sell your youngster and look for someone who wants a sharer to ride then your only committed for say 3 days a week , you can then make the time to ride and enjoy it more .
 
Thanks for all the replies. Just been riding the baby who was an angel today. As with all youngsters we have good and bad days. To be fair to him we have many more good days than bad. I know he's happy not doing as much schooling and competing etc its just he has made so much progress I feel it would be a waste not too.
 
I really feel for you. I bought a 15hh connie x to compete and hopefully start low level BE with when 6 weeks later I found out i was expecting. Now he was a fab little horse when out competing but he was simply dangerous to hack alone, which is all Im able to do here. Id have carried on working through things with him but I knew as soon as I found out i was pregnant that he had to go :( Realistically he wasnt the type that would have been suited to me having a baby in my life either. However I didnt give up, I just adjusted my expectations and compromised.... I gave up on the idea of competing really but wasnt ready to give up on horses altogether - I bought a Welsh D that I already knew from a friend , rode her to just before having my baby and we just pottered about, it kept me sane being able to hack her out. She was a complete saint and the type that doesnt care if she is left in the field or not. Now, my baby is almost a year old and Ive started competing my little mare and doing more with her than I ever dreamed:D She still doesnt care if she's left in the field and merely has a bucket shoved at her on 'hectic' days but we've also been out XC training and competing at JX! Ive entered some loacl hunter trials and I may well end up trying a BE80, who knows!!
 
Im concerned i will be in the same position- my baby isnt due until June and whilst im itching to get back on i know i will be a bag of nerves. Ive not ridden since i found out as my girl is unpredictable (and young) and i do have a concern my confidence will be zero after baby is born. To make matters worse she is on grass livery with no schooling facilities and a fairly busy lane to hack down, ive already decided i will arrange to hire a school once a week for a few weeks to get my confidence up before i take her out hacking!
 
I'm in a similar situation but I evented before. Baby is 7 months.
I have a 4yr old that I'm breaking. I haven't lost my confidence but I have lost the desire to get on baby horses and dedicate the time to school them. I'm also v rusty! :D
I'm going to get mine going nicely then sell him, and get seething simple that I can chuck out in the field if I'm busy and have a nice, fun ride on when I'm not!

:)
 
Thanks so much for all your replies I'm sooo glad I'm not alone in my worries.he was a complete pig hacking on his own today.trying to spin and rear when not wanting to go past something and when leaving another horse.I never let him get away with it and always deal with the problem but I sometimes think is this really worth it and my little girl is the most important thing.I'm sure tommorrow will be better :)
 
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