Should I give up riding?

My instructor suggested me taking Liri for a walk, so you are the 2nd person to suggest this to me. Just makes you feel a bit of a failure when you haven't got the bottle to ride your own horse and didn't know if that was the beginning of the end if I started walking her like my dog.
 
You shouldn't give up but maybe you should stop beating yourself up?
Obviously at least 2 people on here have seen you ride and think you're doing well. You don't sound like you're hurting your horse so does it really matter what it looks like?
I'm a god awful rider and I think I always will be. Anyone can get on hovis and make him look fab - except me! I am nervous as a rider particularly out hacking so i'm just improving my nerve by riding Hovis as regularly as I can to learn to trust him. What it looks like at the minute i couldn't care less. I found when I really managed to explain all this to my instructor she was great. Trying to explain how you feel to someone who rides better than i walk was really hard as i thought she'd think i was daft but its helped no end. Maybe you could have a word with your instructor?
In the meantime maybe you could get someone to video you - from what people have said you might be pleasantly surprised.
 
Hovis_and_SidsMum, you sound like me except you don't care, praps I worry too much about how I look
Bex1984, did you walk Murphy for a reason or just cos you fancied walking instead of riding?
 
don't be fooled by my bravado! I get very embarassed when the "good" riders on the yard stand watching me because I am damn sure that they're having a discussion about how appauling I am!
But I know how far I've come with my nerves and that is more important to me than anything. I want to enjoy my lad and if one day i manage to look semi decent that's a bonus but in the meantime I want my nerve back so i can enjoy long hacks all summer. My goals might be smaller than others, the fences I jump might look like trotting poles to other people and an outline might be something I can only dream about but if i can get that i can take my boy out without feeling sick the whole way round then i've achieved more than I ever thought I could and thats what matters.
 
Who cares if you horse isn't in an 'outline'?? So are the OUTLINE police at your yard??!! This is meant to be something to enjoy and believe me it doesn't come overnight unless I suppose you are born into the Whitaker family!!

I have been riding on and off for years, I don't come from a horsey family and had to go to riding schools for many years. I am so thrilled to have my own horse now but I am still learning every day!! 'own' horses are often very different from school horses and have a mind of their own and it can take a lot of time and patience to get to grips with them and become a team but you will get there!!

Spring and summer are on their way and most horses are more chilled out as they get more exercise and time out in the fields so hopefully yours will become more chilled out hacking. Is there someone you can do walk hacks with? I often do that, just a little walk round the roads maybe a bit of trotting who says you have to gallop and jump all over the place?

Also there's a couple of people on here who know you get them to video you I think you will be pleasantly surprised! I always think I look like a sack of potatoes and that riding is like patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time, then someone has done a quick vid on their mobile and I think, OH it doesn't look as bad as it feels!!

Dont' give up, it's a rotten time of year weather wise and a lot of us are feeling fed up. I can't even ride as my horse is on box rest and although I have kindly been offered rides on others at the yard i am happy to spend my time with my horse grooming him and faffing in the stable! it's not all about riding there's a lot more to having a horse and enjoying him!!

Also I am jealous of you as i always wanted a coloured horse, so here's one person that is envious of YOU right now!!!
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I think we've all been through times when we felt bad adbout ourselves. I was always worried that my SJ was too good for me and that I was ruining him. If people came up to the school I would leave so no one saw me ride. In the end my trainer had enough and made me jump a big class. I never looked back! I still get nervous now though. I am about to start looking for a new horse and the thought of going and trying them in front of people is terrifying!
 
If its any help, i got an instructor to ride out with me and teach me that way, when out on a hack. I hate all the technicalities that goes with riding... and i hate schooling. Who wants an outline when you can hate a giraffe. LOL... only joking. I do feel i should be having lessons and schooling and stuff, but i just hate doing it! I get looked down upon cos im a happy hacker but who cares! My instructor nags me the whole way round on a hack and is there if my horse freaks. ... if you can get one to ride out with you then that may be a solution?
 
You have most control in walk, so it is sensible and enjoyable to hack in walk if you need a confidence boost, until you are really, really happy and confident again.

My horse is 10 now, and sometimes I don't ride him for a few weeks due to teenage daughter's needs, and then the first hack I do after a break is always just quietly in walk, round somewhere familiar. Maybe I will walk for a whole week if he is not settled, and ideally with a friend. It gives you a chance to relax, talk to the other person, you have more time to suss out potential spook moments and once the horse realises there is not going to be any bombing about (not that I do that anyway!) he relaxes and settles better.

It's good for discipline, confidence, and is actually a nice way to get to know your horse - slowly slowly! So try it - might be the beginning of something better, not the end of hacking for ever.

You can always try a few school movements too when you are happy, on the roads or bridleways - get your instructor to think of a few nice ones like a little bit of leg yield to the middle of the road and back (but check behind first, plays havoc with the traffic!). It is sometimes easier to do things when the horse is striding nicely towards home. I have even managed passage a few times, sadly unintentionally...
 
Just wanted to let you know that you are certainly not alone.

I've ridden for the last 25 years with a few breaks (
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blimey that's a scary thought).

I decided about 4 years ago that I need to ride "properly" so started having lessons. I had a two year break after having my daughter and started again and it's not like riding a bike, you do forget. I thought I'd be able to jump back on and be at the level I achieved before the break - wrong!

I am currently working my way through a confidence crisis after coming off my neddy just before Christmas. My RI is trying to convince me that I don't look as bad as I think I do and that I am actually good - still not convinced on that one.

I quite often think about giving it all up, I think far too much about what other people think of my riding, it drives my OH and RI mad
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So, I'm currently having my neddy schooled. She's only 4 and although I know deep down I am quite capable of schooling her, at her age she needs a confident rider so she's in boot camp for a few weeks
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I'll post a video later of her progress.

I have had a couple of weeks off just to take stock and see if I miss it - and I do! Soooo much.

I don't know if it's the way to go for you, but maybe having a week or two break yourself if you've got someone to ride for you, it might just show you how you do actually enjoy it, miss it.

I can't wait to get back on my comfortable, very responsive baby (she is VERY comfortable to ride, like an armchair).
 
please don't give up, sounds like you're pretty good and not as bad as you think you are - this is a problem I have, I just have no confidence in myself, but someone videoed me doing my last dressage test and it was a real eye opener, ok I'm just an average rider but not as bad as I thought!! I can't really get George to go in an outline either, yet we have managed to have some success doing dressage tests. Also, having moved yards I'm again nervous about hacking out, so last night I took George for an inhand walk up the new bridlepath and he was all goggle eyed but I sung to him (ha ha!) and stroked his neck and we had a really nice half hour together.
 
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Bex1984, did you walk Murphy for a reason or just cos you fancied walking instead of riding?

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Because I'm too nervous to hack out alone! Murphy is really good out hacking, but I just go through phases of being majorly scared and useless. I found it really nice to take the pressure off myself in terms on hacking and take Murphy out for a walk in hand. We'd have a little trot and he'd always show off like a show pony
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I always wore my hat, and hi-viz, and took him in his bridle, sometimes on a lunge line attached to the bit, sometimes just holding on to the reins. I went on my own and with friends and their horse.
 
Thank you all for your kind words and motivation. It's nice to know there are other people out there that have their own horses that feel like I do. Just going through a horrible time and need to find a bit of confidence in myself.
 
If we all had to be fantastic riders to ride and keep horses, then I certainly wouldn't have a pony. How Henry puts up with me, I don't know, but we've managed for 10 years and others before me just didn't get on with him. I think we deserve each other, lol! I'll never make a dressage queen, but for bumbling around/a little schooling, I don't see any harm in that. Oh and most of my schooling is done on hacks, too - since that's my 'discipline'!
 
I have had lessons for a long time ... and wondered if I was ever going to get it ... However this year I decided it was now or never- I have been out and about every weekend and went on an intensive three days with Nigel taylor and .... can honestly say I am finally making progress ... and having a fantastic time ... Jumped 90cm for the first time this weekend ... and am looking forward to entering BE Intro later in the season (off for another couple of days at Nigels this weekend)... Don't give up, positive attitude and a bit of intensive stuf might just be what you need too...
 
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