Should I just give up now...(forgive self pity)

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Riverboy

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Well - what a time of it... A bit of background for those who don't know. I lost my darling pony on 28th October last year after a two year battle with various aliments. I had bought a youngster to bring on as a riding horse as River was never going to return to being ridden again and wanted something to ride. Before I lost River - Luca - the youngster had a fall and damaged his Sacriliac joint - cue me spending the night in A&E and now awaiting an operation...

Spent 6 months on box/field rest, and then 4 months of ground work to build his muscles - he was fitter than most of the horses at my yard. Sent him to a professional to be restarted - hopeful of a positive outcome... Well the outcome isn't positive. He can't stand up to being ridden - his back gave way after a week of being sat on and gentle walking hacks - and now his suspensory ligament has gone as well. He reacts dangerously to being in pain (cue another rider needing to visit a Dr) and does not cope with no work - think bolshy, rude 17hh TB...

He is only 6 and its been recommended that I have him PTS - he really does throw all his toys out of his pram without work and when there is the slightest bit of pain. His conformation is pretty poor (think half giraffe half kangaroo) and the consesus is that he will never stay sound to be ridden properly... After years battling with a pony who never got better I am inclined to agree... my question is - and sorry for rambelling - should I just give up horses? Would it be wrong to let him go in these circumstances? He is not an easy horse, and I would dearly love to be able to ride again - but is it unfair to put that into consideration? I worry if I were to keep him as a companion he would be bored, and at 6 it seems a long time.

Just feel like giving up, and all expert advice is to let him go as a kinder option to him - at the moment he is struggling to walk in a straight line again... I guess I feel cursed or something - all I wanted was a nice RC alrounder to have fun on... are some people not meant to own horses?!

Sorry all for the ramble - I just guess I wanted to see what other peoples experiences were and ask for some vibes to make the right decision...

A nice stiff brandy to those who indulge and a hot choc to those who dont...

xx
 
Hiya - it sounds like you have really had a tough time of it and i can understand you wanting to give up. But really can you imagine not having horses again?
I was advised to pts my mare when she was 6 - she had so many issues and was outright dangerous at one point- i decided to put her on grass livery for a few years and bought a schoolmaster - a few years later i missed having her every day (i only went every 3 days when she was on grass) i decided to bring her back and let me tell you she is a different horse entirely. Now she hasnt got the pain she is just a dream to handle - i restarted her at 13 years old and she is an absolute schoolmaster now - i can even give my 8 year old niece lessons on her and use her for hacking and just general fun riding. I am so glad i didnt listen to the advice of the 'experts' telling me to pts - i knew in my heart that i couldnt pts such a lovely horse just because i couldnt have the fun of riding - horses are worth so much more imo.
 
Sorry to hear of your problems. I think you've given your boy an awful lot of chances to get better and to return to a useful life but at the end of the day I agree that he is young to retire to the field and do nothing and as you say he is dangerous when ridden, I think I would be considering the PTS route, we've all read and heard the tales about some horses being sold as companions and then being sold on to innocent buyers, so unless you've the facilities, time and money to keep him yourself, for peace of mind I think it would be best all round to let him go. Please don't give up, there are lots of horses out there who are not as complicated and can give you what you want.
 
I'm so sorry to hear that you have this difficult decision to make but I do think that if all expert advice is to let him go then that is what you must do. It really doesn't sound as though keeping him as a field ornament is an option for him. IMO this is only possible when the horse is comfortable, which Luca apparently isn't.
As for giving up horses - no I don't think you should. Years ago I had to retire a 10 yr old mare who became unrideable, fortunately I was in a position to keep her as a companion. I bought a very sensible ex-riding school horse, who helped to restore my confidence, which had been dealt a severe blow. That mare was a Clydesdale x, who we kept until she was pts as a very old lady. Subsequently I bought a Shire mare who had to be pts aged 6 and then another Clydex who had to be pts aged 11. As I was just recovering from a broken ankle I, too, was tempted to take up Shetlands but decided that the best thing was to buy another riding horse BUT to avoid all the adverts for heavies (which was very difficult, as I really love them and there did seem to be a lot for sale when I was looking). I now have an IDX.
My advice to you is to search all websites etc for something as different as possible from the horses that you have had before. Check that the horse's conformation is as near perfect as possible and follow the advice of a vet and a really knowledgeable instructor or other expert. In general I think that the smaller horses tend to be less trouble conformation wise, so it might be better to go for something more cobby than Luca. My 16.3hh IDX has back trouble currently so perhaps I should have followed my own advice.
 
I can't help with your decision regarding your 6 yr old as it's got to be your own decision and only the experts can help.

However, I definitely do not think you should give up because of these bad experiences and set backs. Try to think third time lucky, you will miss it if you give up. I had to have my boy PTS over three years ago now and I didn't want to buy again immediately as I needed time to adjust and come to terms with things. I've been looking for a new horse for over six months now as I'm determined to get it right. Give yourself time, you'll know when you are ready again but don't give up entirely.
 
Here *slap* have a virtual slap around the face, right now we have got that out of the way I'll try to serious so listen up because it doesnt happen very often.

No I wouldnt give up on horses, your feeling down because you have had a tuff time and some disapointing news which your trying to get to terms with as well as not knowing where to go from here, the feeling will pass, so just let.

Personally I think if this horse is not going to settle into a enviroment where he will be safe (as in not a danger to himself), well kept and happy and be a good companion to your next horse and you are sure there is nothing else you can do to progress with his ridden career and gone down every recovery route then I would have him PTS.

There are far too many horses out there being passed from piller to post, far too many not receiving the daily care and attention they deserve and mis-sold as projects etc

Companions and vetrans are just as expensive to keep and if you can't provide the above for the horse and not afford to keep two, then surely it would be kinder for the horse to be PTS?

Sounds selfish but having a horse is about enjoyment, being able to afford to provide the best for your horse and providing your horse with a good quality of life, sometimes you just have to weigh everthing up for both the horse and you and decide what is the best outcome in years to come.

There are hundreds of horses out there that deserve a good home, a second chance in life, ones which don't have something wrong with them, something that you will be able to ride and enjoy your hobby again.
 
Thank you all for your really kind words - I think in my heart/guts I know its the kindest thing to let him go - the thought of me not being able to continue to care for him and someone trying to ride him fills me with dred - and he wouldn't cope at all at grass livery as we tried having him out full time to help his back and he suddenly became a hat rack even with feed...

I guess I just feel lost - he is a lovely boy and I am still reeling from loosing River. Luca helped with the grief and now I feel like perhaps I don't deserve a horse. Probably being stupid.

Pearlslinger - I like your suggestion of something totally different, though I did go from a 14.2hh to a 17hander... perhaps something in the middle, and if I did decide to get another it will only be with all the vet checks under the sun!

Thank you all again - I guess I just need to focus on what I've learnt and what is best for him...
 
Kenzo - Thank you for the slap - thats just what I needed... Just because its been bad doesn't mean it will stay bad does it?!

thanks :)
 
How awful, in the horsey world we seem to be blessed with these bouts of bad luck, I went through it for a long long time, so much so I gave up for a couple of years.

Gone back now and its not so bad, Im an adult not a teen anymore and realised its not some bad luck thing its just life. I really do think the cliche of feeling positive actually works.

Im sorry your having such a tough time of it but it will get better, beleive in it.
 
Don't give up!

We all go through these horrible spells where everything seems to go wrong at some point during our lives as horse owners.. some are fortunate not to suffer at all and some seem oblivious to their equine's suffering. You should be thankful that you have been blessed with being able to tell when enough is enough for your equine companion, as hard as it is.

Maybe you need a break for the stresses of horse ownership for a while but I wouldn't say you want to give it up. just have a break and take your time looking for your next one.

Oh, and if I were in your shoes I would say PTS is the kindest thing for all concerned. 6 is no age but it is potentially a long life of pain he has ahead of him otherwise.

Thinking of you
 
Oh how awful for you. Having been through the loss of one at a young age and the early retirement of another with my daughter I do know how gutwrenching it is.

No one can tell you what to do but you will know and your horse will tell you. Give yourself enough time to make this decision - either way is hard.

I suspect you will not give up but maybe someone will come along and steal your heart again - there always seems to be another one waiting for when we need them. (((hugs))) and thinking of you at this awful awful time.
 
Ditto exactly what Kenzo says (sorry, Kenzo, for nabbing your words but you did write sooo eloquently and said exactly what I said!)
 
misst said:
I suspect you will not give up but maybe someone will come along and steal your heart again - there always seems to be another one waiting for when we need them. (((hugs))) and thinking of you at this awful awful time.
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Totally agree. So sorry you're in this awful position.

Don't you dare question whether you "deserve" a horse! The fact that you're quite obviously giving this matter a lot of thought as to what is best for the horse and asking lots of opinions shows that any horse would be lucky to have you as its carer :)

Hope things get better for you (((Hugs)))
 
Bless you, you have had a bit of bad luck, I had a 9 yr old TB which we tried everything for after her was diagnosed with OCD, however he ended up in so much pain and started waisting away, it broke my heart, so after lengthy discussions with the vet we decided that he wasnt the sort of horse to live out as he turned agressive and we could never be sure we were managing his pain so we took the kindest route and PTS, it broke my heart but I knew I was doing the right thing.

I decided that I never wanted another TB and went a brought a WB got a full vetting and took my instructor who is very experienced and picked her confo to pieces (in case I want to breed from her as well) she has fullfilled all my dreams (temp broken at the mo) and I never regretted that decision!!!

Hope it all works out for u!
 
I am so sorry to hear of what a rubbish time you have had and are still having.
As others have said, don't feel like you should give up because of this, it can really get you down when they are broken, I think most of us have felt something vaguely similar.
Of course you deserve to have horses.

Regards your boy, if he really is that bad then do not feel bad about the option of having him pts, sometimes it really is the kindest thing to do.
Perhaps as the weather is becoming good if you really don't want to make the choice now can you turn him out for the summer to relax and buy yourself a second.
If like some people for example you cannot afford to run two horses then do not feel bad about having him pts if he is broken as it sounds he is (i.e not being able to walk in a straight line).

Perhaps get a second opinion on whats best for a horse with his condition, but do not beat yourself up. Its very hard to let these animals of ours go but sometimes it is the best and kindest thing. All the best whatever you decide x
 
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