Should I just give up :(

I'm in Norfolk. Thank you so much for your replies. It's been reassuring and helpful.

Like I said, one good thing is that i happily get on most horses now without fear, after handling him they seem like Shetlands, and my mini shetties look like kittens!
 
Regarding behaviour in the field........I am very much of the opinion "what happens in the field, stays in the field"! :rolleyes: My cob can stand on his back legs for England when playing with my youngster. In 9 years of riding him he has never ever come close to doing anything remotely like that with me on board. Trust me - if he had I wouldn't be getting on him! :p

I ended up in tears last night out - complete frustration with mud, lack of facilities and lack of sleep due to having to get up at 4.30am to ride before work due to no school. Give yourself a break and try not to get too down. We all have a crisis every now and again......trust me!
 
Confidence is a strange thing isn't it. It takes years to build and one second to shatter.

Dont be too hard on yourself or him, it sounds like you've both been through it a bit recently and te weather is getting everyobdy down at the moment.
I'd forget riding for now and just spend time building his trust to deal with the headshyness (not groundwork, just spend time with him) and to bond with him a bit.

Then maybe start by taking him out for walks in hand? I know that might sound daunting with such a big boy but you've not mentioned handling problems other thant the headshyness so I'm sure he'd be good, especially in a bridle. Next step would be to hack out with one other steady confident horse and then build up from there. Stick to familiar routes to begin with.

Going nuts in the field is what horses should do, it's their time to let off steam. I know it's hard to get that picture out of your head when you're worried but it doesn't mean they're going to do it under saddle. My boy goes off galloping, bucking and farting every morning when he's turned out. He's not done it once under saddle. Think of it as kids in the playground during break time - the run about like nutters then come in and go back to their lessons where the vast majority sit quietly and concentrate on their work! In the same way, his size doesn't have to be a bad thing, my 17hh boy is a gentle giant whereas my old 14hh pony belonged in an institution! He sounds like he's a gent so you'll soon get used to his size if you persevere. I don't feel right on anything smaller now!

If by the summer you still feel the same, it would be a much better time to try to sell him. Good luck, don't get too down about it.
 
Oh I feel for you Popos! I went from a 15 hh gelding to a 16.3hh IDxTB mare and I know exactly how you feel about the size bit! I had also lost my confidence (having been bolted with by the 15 hh gelding!) and found myself wary and worried about EVERYTHING when we went out. At six months I think I was probably about where you are now, and that was with a school and a livery yard, so if I had had to deal with home and mud and no school I deard to think how I would have coped.

My mare had to have six months off following a field injury and this was a turning point for us. I spent lots of time on the ground with her with no pressure to ride and found that I actually liked her as a "person" during this time. It meant that when I was able to get back on board we had a much better bond and a bit more trust going on, and 8 years down the line I just don't even think about her size now.

I would suggest just forgetting about riding at the moment - take the pressure right off yourself. Use the time to get to know him a bit more and do the stuff on the ground that others have mentioned. Long reining in particular, especially through a maze of poles, worked for me. When the weather and the ground improve start slowly, a little bit at a time, and work with an instructor on your confidence.

I still occasionally get wobbly days, usually when I am over-tired, but most of the time any of her little hacking foibles (weeds, white carrier bags, black carrier bags, green wheelie bins, garden waste bags,cows, holes in the road, white paint on the road, to name but a few!) just make me laugh and call her a dozy old twonk. She's nearly 20 and you would think she would know better by now!
 
Hi - confidence is such a difficult thing to maintain - one small event preys upon emotions which affect us so much
Just two things - you mention being used to riding in 'schools' - bear in mind how different riding your own horse out in the open can be. Also, you clearly want the best for your horse and you say that he is looking well - does this mean tht perhaps you should review what he is being fed whilst you are doing less? Is he looking 'too' well? His feed may be impacting upon his behaviour.
You may also perhaps think about suitability, and whether he might be better suited to a placement where he can be ridden more regularly in a variety of settings, whilst you find for your self a horse which you can enjoy at all times.
 
Nothing more to add OP, some good suggestions - I'm struggling with mine at the moment and am thinking a bit of time off and some ground work can't do any harm. Just to let you know you're not the only one having a few issues!
 
Thanks for replies. Re. feeding, he is currently having 2 haynets at night nda couple of handfuls of alfalfa a & lite balancer. He is having max approx 2 haynets worth of hay during the day. His grazing is screwed in this weather and the field is wet and mushed up under his weight! Does that sound like too much? Happy to be told what I should be doing!

Mini shetties are having haynet each at night, some during the day and a couple of handfuls of happy hoof at night. They seem to be doing ok on it, last year they lost too much weight. One of them is having micronised linseed mixed in too.
 
Try taking him off the alfalfa - it can affect some horses and even hi fi lite sets off one of mine.

I feel your pain - my two are very fed up atm and have now resorted to lunging before riding to get any silliness out. We are lucky to have a school but assume your field is too wet by the sounds of it....

I would try and sit it out until spring, if you are still feeling the same, make your decision then.
 
Hi OP, Winter blues taking their toll ? on you & him, if you love him, then no you can't just give up because it's got tough.

Focus on strengthening your bond with him, ground work, talk to him, hugs. Horses pick up on how we feel, if you are down/stressed he will feel it, so, go to him with a smile, be upbeat even if it feels fake. Give him some time off too, until the weather gets better, is he alone ? might need a companion if so.....
 
Popos said:
Thanks for replies. Re. feeding, he is currently having 2 haynets at night nda couple of handfuls of alfalfa a & lite balancer. He is having max approx 2 haynets worth of hay during the day. His grazing is screwed in this weather and the field is wet and mushed up under his weight! Does that sound like too much? Happy to be told what I should be doing!

Mini shetties are having haynet each at night, some during the day and a couple of handfuls of happy hoof at night. They seem to be doing ok on it, last year they lost too much weight. One of them is having micronised linseed mixed in too.
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Maybe take him off the feed? Does he need it? I give mine a handful of chaff or h hoof just because my older girl has supplements. They get hay only and sometimes haylage but only a little as I find this makes them a little lively. You can always add it back if you think he's missing it.
 
Thanks for all your replies. It's been very helpful reading.

Re. feed, he mostly has the feed as part of his routine as the minis have theirs too. I will look at halving the portion perhaps.

I spent some time with him today, just chilling and grooming without the pressure to ride out. I really enjoyed my time with him and looking back my confidence in handling him has increased massively compared to when I first had him.

Looking to get a confident sharer involved to hack him out, hopefully this will help install some confidence in him and keep him ticking over until I can ride him more regularly again as the weather improves.

My time is especially tight with the lack of daylight hours, think perhaps anytime I do get is better spent concentrating on spending time with him and increasing our bond than dashing out for a nerve filled hack which has me (and no doubt him) feeling anxious.

Thinking on this over the last couple of days, I'm not sure it would be much different on any other horse, whilst it would be smaller my time would still be best spent increasing the bond just now than getting ready as quickly as possible to hack out with no time spent just being together. Does that make sense?

When I spend time with him like I have today I love him to bits and def don't want him to go.
 
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