should i keep her, finacially it's not good

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tinymaze

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ok to cut a long story short, A little while ago i posted a post about me and my mare. she's my second horse but i lost all confidence on her and she's not the safe horse i thought i bought. that was about 3-4 months ago and with myself i was at a bad place at the time

i got allot of mixed advice whether to sell her or stick with it,

I decided to stick with it as i have a good instructor and a friend who's a very good rider that rides her regularly for me.

i rode another horse and built my confidence back up, unfortunately that horse has now gone to another yard. i been on my own horse about 3 times (after her being ridden by my friend) and straight away i can tell she's more relaxed and less tense. but my fear is still there of her bombing/bucking/rearing ect.

we changed her saddle and bit straight away after my bad falls. and she's much more controllable in this new bit.

My biggest problem now is, before my total loss of confidence i had to move her to an expensive yard (only stable available at the time) and some way's i'm lucky as the yards fully kitted out and my instructor is the lady who owns it and she has helped me loads.
but it's financially crippling me to keep her.

I'm torn between selling her to the right home (as obliviously she needs a confidence rider) or moving her on to grass livery (same yard) which would save me money (and she's much happier living out) and carry on with lessons on her to build my confidence and help school her

I really don't want to sell her. my heart says don't but my head says do? I know no one can make this descion for me (as much as i would like someone too) but i would like to hear what you would do as i'm at a total loss as what to do.
 
put her onto grass livery and take some pressure off yourself. You can't be happy with that as a stress hanging over you and it will be effecting your riding! At least at that yard you have support and people to talk to.

If in 12 weeks you still can't get over the fear of riding her, then by all means sell her and find something that you are confident on!

You don't have to do everything at once!
 
Thanks for the reply,
i think i'm stressing. as i haven't talk to my instructor about money problems (as so much goes on already and also it's a bit embarrassing for me) so i don't know for sure if there's room to go grass livery and also i got my mother on at me as she worried about me and wants me to sell her. My other half just want me to be happy, it's just all very stressful.
but thanks for the advice it seems so obvious. think i need to stop and count to three!
 
Different position, but had to speak to my YO about money issues. I am now loaning/sharing my girl to the right person, either short or long term as I also do not want to sell.

Bite the bullet and speak to her, she may be able to offer some advice, and if grass livery suits your horse, maybe that will help further with her settling and you getting your confidence back?

Take some of the pressure off about finances, and then see where things go :)

If in a few months you still do not feel safe, then consider selling.
 
Firstly take a deep breath and count to three.

I posted a similar situation last week, although mine is down to being in the process of getting my marriage annulled, but still incredibly stressful. I've recently moved into a nice house with fantastic housemates but it's about 40 mins from the yard which means not only are finances tight but I'm also seeing very little of the horse I pay so much for.

After looking at all options over the weekend I finally advertised for a sharer yesterday and surprisingly my incredibly horsey cousin text me having seen the advert. Long story short after selling her horse when she was at college she's now keen to get back into riding and assuming her and H get along at the weekend she'll be sharing him 3 days a week from next month :)

What I'm trying to say, in an incredibly round about way, is that sometimes the solution is much closer than we think. I was so stressed and worried about the situation I didn't even think to ask my cousin if she'd be interested. Definitely speak to your YO and see what they say about grass livery and if that's not an option perhaps look at getting a sharer for your horse.
 
OP hope you can get something sorted out. I would just say, think very carefully before going down the grass livery option as it seems as though you need the support right now to help with your confidence still, and you may find fewer people around to support you if you are just with others on grass livery. IMO there is no substitute for having knowledgeable helpful people on hand if you are having issues with a new horse. IF they will still be around at the grass livery then fine, go for it! :)
 
hi thanks for the reply, She practically on grass livery, just that i have a stable to use if need be, even during the winter she was out at night as she is a nightmare in the stable.

And a sharer is a bit hard as she is so green and also the girl that rides and schools her for me sort of shares her, i just don't get paid for it but then she's doing me a big favour with her in the first place.
I'm going to talk to the owner and go from there. Got to sort something out.

She has come leaps and bounds, I've done allot of ground work and leading with her and her rider is doing well too.
sometimes i just get that thought, she'd be better with someone else, i just don't have a bond with her like i do with my gelding (and obliviously it wouldn't be as near as I've had him 15 years) but i can't even call what we have a bond more like i turn up and ask her to do things in which she looks for guidance for.
I think i'm just feeling down about the whole situation. And just feel bad as my money problems not just mine it's my OH too. but he just wants me happy.
 
Mares are difficult to bond with and it does take a lot of time and effort IME, but once you have one on your side, who wants to be with you, you'll have a horse of a lifetime.

My mare was a nightmare and deemed dangerous by other people and it took us about 18 months for us to trust one another. She threw the book at me. She tested me to my limits, I couldn't pick her feet, groom, lead, or even tack her up let alone ride and I didn't think our poor relationship could possibly go on but..........she's my horse of a lifetime. She looks after me in all ways and has taught me soooooo much. We trust and love each each other totally. I can't imagine being without her and I thank God every day that I didn't give up on her.

My story may not help you but I know how you must feel and it just might give you hope.
 
I read through this and thought instantly 'just sell her' but then at the end you said your heart said don't sell. I would go with what your heart says, put her on grass livery and maybe try and ride her more yourself over the next 3-6 months and if it still isn't working then sell her. Theres no point keeping a horse that just doesn't work for you but at the same time its sometimes worth trying
 
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