Should I move yards (never done this before!)??

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Natassia

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I've had my first horse for 5 months and its going really well, but I'm increasingly unhappy with my yard. Everyone's lovely really and we do get on well, but its very insular (only 11 horses and 10 owners) and almost too collective, I know its great to have a friendly DIY yard with minimal yard politics and on the outside it seems perfect (reasonably value, great turnout and hacking, nice stable and organised etc) but its like everyone has to do everything together with little room for change. In the winter when the horses come in at night they come in too early for me (about 4pm), and of course because one comes in they all have to come in
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Certain people there seem to buy and sell horses like they're commodities, they're mainly happy hackers who want a safe horse, if that horse does anything 'wrong' like a spook or a spin, thats it, horse sold or returned to seller. I think thats totally wrong but each to their own I suppose. They don't seem to enjoy their horses or want to progress in any way, they're all older than me (40s mainly, I'm 20) and aren't pleased for me or anything - I had a fab lesson on my new horse the other day and I was so happy when I came back and told people about it when they had asked how it went, only one was happy for me, my friend said they were jealous and I sort of agree, they can't be bothered to ride most of the time, their horses are lucky to leave the yard once a week.
Theres a brand new competition yard near me and if they do DIY I want to go there, I want to be with people who enjoy their horses and who I will be inspired by, so that I will do more with my horse. I ride 5-6 days a week and most of the time I'm out on my own as nobody else rides much. They seem to think I'm mad for riding in the evening as well, and for riding out on my own etc. I think its holding me back, which sounds so selfish because my horse is happy there and that is what matters, but I think he would be equally happy somewhere else, he's great with other horses and will settle anywhere I think.
Sorry to go on forever, but I need help!!
 
Ha sounds exactly like my yard
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except my happy hackers keep their horses for ever and we are all very supportive with each other. If I were you I would move go tsomewhere where you can enjoy your horse and not feel like riding is a drag like I sometimes do becuase I am often by myself. Try out a new yard and see how it goes what have you got to loose??
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I had almost the reverse problem when i first got My horse...
I was at a yard where everybody but myself competed. It almost felt like they looked down on me because I only did 'Local' shows etc. I was still very much getting to know my horse and constantly felt like I had to prove something to everybody there. I stopped enjoying my horse for what he was and started over facing the both of us. I'm now at a busier mixed yard some compete, some dont and theres plenty of people my age there too. So sometimes a move does pay off. Just make sure its really what you want before you take the jump!
I hope it all works out for you
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Welcome to your average yard
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You either get laid back and boring or competition orientated and bitchy..... sadly there is often no middle ground.

Could you visit the other yard or speak to some of the liveries to get a feel for what it would be like???
 
That is a difficult situation hun - definitely sympathise with you. I had it the other way around - bitchiness and lots of yard politics and was pretty miserable but as it was friends horse I was looking after while she was away and yard had great facilities just had to stick it out. Obviously you have the option to move and perhaps it would be a good idea to do a reccy and check this new place out. Only thing that would worry me is jumping from frying pan to fire - would be awful to move and then find new yard to cliquey and not as friendly as old yard. The best advice I think is to go with your gut instinct as usually this is the one that makes the most sense. Do you have any local horse-owning friends close to your current yard that you could meet/share lorry with to shows etc? :-)
 
Thanks for replies, I might just stick it out for the time being, but today I opened my big mouth a bit and think I might be given the cold shoulder for a few days...I just want to be with people who want to progress and enjoy their horses. They seem to be stuck in the 70s with how they look after their horses and they can be so ignorant. But generally I get on well there, made friends with a sharer who's more my age and she thinks I should take any opportunity I have to do what I want, we ride out in the evenings which is nice as well.
I do have horsey friends nearby who I could hack out with and maybe go to shows etc with, would just take more organisation but would be worth it!
Amy - I want to go back to Arbrook really!! but don't think I'd be recieved to well there to be honest...other than that theres a brand new yard in Hersham called Southwood Manor, or I was thinking of Barwell, I have a friend there and the facilities are better.
 
Moving to somewhere that has better facilities - and you already have a friend there. Sounds like a brilliant idea?
Why not go and check it out, meet a few of the liveries etc?
I think if i were in your shoes I would. You've got to be happy, Or you wont enjoy it half as much as you should do.
 
He he he..... I would love to be stuck in the 70s....... the horses never went lame, or were ill, tack was basic and everything could be cured by either box rest or Kaoline and morphine
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Only kidding...... you go and do what makes you happy..... life is too short to be unhappy, but all yards have their drawbacks.... just some are easier to live with than others....

Good luck x
 
I do miss Arbrook, but when I left just before you it was getting more bitchy than I can cope with!

I'd just have a look round a few yards and see what they're like, you don't have to make any quick decisions and you don't have to move.
 
Actually in my yard we actively police the extremes of behaviour.It's either that or go mad with them! I've had wanna be dressage Nazis , Parelli freaks , horsie hypochondriacs ,and of course the ever popular person who NEVER rides but can tell all others how to fix ALL problems and finds fault with everything and everyone .Most just need a friendly boot in the arse to reset their sanity monitor. Or a pint and a good snogging.Tis the nature of the beasties I fear . Enjoy your horse,ignore them or tell 'em to p!$$ off !
 
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He he he..... I would love to be stuck in the 70s....... the horses never went lame, or were ill,
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Yes, they did but people used to shoot them! i have never found a yard that I loved, because I was spoilt by growing up with our own stables/land, but the one Im at now is the most tolerable. Less bitchy, but on the downside, more novice. I do get fed up some days with the lack of horse sense from some people but have to remind myself that its not my horse, not my problem etc.

If you want to compete, you might be better off at a competitive yard though....
 
Oh Amy you sound so nice and thoughtful and full of energy and zing. But please, please don't knock other horse owners just coz they have different ambitions from you. Different isn't always a bad thing - it's just different! Not everyone wants to compete but other ambitions and goals and "progress" are just as valid. And thank the Lord we all do want different things or there would be no room anywhere for my cherished one-eyed veteran plod (who taught hundreds of people to ride when he was a hard working riding school horse in his youth) or my rescued and unbroken 12 yr old ragwort poisoned mare or the fat companion pony or the knackered race horse or the thousands of other less than perfect neds out there that are loved every bit as much as the HOYS winners. Welcome all the owners Amy, whatever their riding ambitions, and I bet everyone at your current yard would start to welcome you and your fabulous ambitions. Oh and well done you on a fabulous lesson - you got any pics of your clever ned? x
 
Haha highlandhart I can recognise the person who never rides but comes up with all sorts of solutions to everyones problems, or just tries to influence them with her ignorant ideas. I just don't listen anymore - she does my head in!!
Amy - I never noticed that much major bitching at Arbrook, but I guess I was only a sharer then so I was on the outside, but I think somewhere like it would be good, there always seemed to be someone to go out with and everyone enjoyed their horses, thats the impression I got anyway.
I think I need to have a really good think about this, maybe stay at my yard but not be so influenced by what everyone else says and have more confidence in myself to look after my horse properly etc. I don't think the age gap helps, I'm closer in age to their children really and feel so young sometimes, which makes me feel inexperienced and inadequate, even though I'm doing my best for my horse and he's coming on really well.
 
Box of frogs - I got my horse on loan, he's not competition perfect or anything like that, I'll never do anything major on him - I want to progress in that I want to bring him back to full fitness and maybe do some dressage with him, thats what I think he's most suited to now. He's only 7 but has arthritic change in his pastern as a result from an eventing injury - before that he was competing and doing really well.
I have now made a decision that I will never actually buy a horse, thats far too easy and I want to be giving a home to a horse that needs it and who will be a project to me like he has, its far more rewarding and thats why I get so pissed off with people who sell on anything that is less than perfect/bombproof etc - I think they need to question why they have horses in the first place. But..each to their own.
My clever horse is actually going to be in H&H soon hopefully...maybe next week so you can see him then!!
 
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He he he..... I would love to be stuck in the 70s....... the horses never went lame, or were ill, tack was basic and everything could be cured by either box rest or Kaoline and morphine
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God they were the days. When you'd get on anything and laugh when you fell off!!!
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No nerves then.
 
I am intrigued where you are ! Barwell is lovely. I moved yards too as everyone thought I was odd for going to shows and lessons out the yard and although it didnt really matter- it did in a way.
 
God we are in exactly the same situation, now I have found another yard i dread telling the owner as she is lovely, but u have to do what is right for you and your horse. Where do you live maybe we should set up a yard together I am 22 and just want to be with some people my own age too.
 
If I was you I would move, sounds like your fed up... check out the new yard properly first though, make sure its better than your other one.

Im moving livery yards in a couple of weeks and im really scared coz it means moving away from my mum and where she keeps her horses. However the new yard is a bit closer to me and it seems better.

I also think its important to be with like minded people. Its nice to be able to have people your own age up there to hack with and school with. You can help each other put up jumps and share advice etc. I went to Hartpury college and had my horse on livery there. On the whole I didnt find a big competition yard like Hartpury bitchy at all, on the contary I learnt an awful lot from watching other people and made some great friends.
 
I moved yards about 6 weeks ago for different reasons to you, but basically that I wasn't happy there. I was really worried as my horse is late 20's and has been there for over 15 years and is a worrier. We both settled in really quickly, we both love it and im just wondering why I didn't do it sooner. Its no fun if you are at a yard you aren't happy.
 
Lovely to hear more about your ned Natassia and I hope you do really well with him. Poor lad, 7 is awfully young to have arthritic changes but he's lucky to have such a caring and knowledgeable foster mum who wants to do the best for him. Will look forward to H&H pics. I do think it's a shame that the people at your yard are so dismissive of what you're trying to do - we've got all ages and all abilities and all aims on our yard and everyone supports everyone else. Good luck in whatever you decide to do x
 
Natassia - I don't think your fellow liveries are actually jealous of you. I suspect that they just can't relate to what you are doing with your horse because your goals and ambitions are different from their own. I am a 40 something, boring old trout myself but I still have ambitions. Most people would probably laugh at my modest aims but, in my own quiet way, I am working towards achieving more and getting the most out of my pony and having fun whilst doing so.

If you want to be on a livery yard with younger, more competetive people I think that you should definitely move. There are some very lively, buzzy yards that you'd probably enjoy a lot more than your current yard. Good luck and I will look out for your boy in H&H
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I'm in the same situation but I do love my yard..best yard I've ever been on but they're all happy hackers and a majority quite novice - no manege either.

I'm moving to a new yard at the weekend with a manege etc - same as you - so I can progress more
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don't want to be a happy hacker lol can't wait to get into my flatwork properly again i love schooling
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At the end of the day horses are so expensive you should be enjoying it..makes the fact you haven't had a haircut in 2 years bearable lol
 
I still don't know what to do!! but you're advice has been really helpful, I think I know what I need to do really (move) but even though I might not agree with everyone and we do have conflicting opinions, thats normal with horses. I do love my yard really and it would be difficult to find another one thats as friendly as the one I'm on, and it would shock them if I said I was leaving. But I think that if I want to do more with my horse, with what his arthritis will allow, I will have to move. But I'm scared of going somewhere more competition-orientated and being the worst rider there, where I am now, not wanting to sound arrogant but I'm one of the more confident riders and I do the most with my horse, but if I went to another yard I would probably be the least experienced.
I'm not going to rush into anything or say anything to my YO yet, I need to really have a better look into what is available for me and my limited budget!

Finella - I didn't mean to come across as rude about the older people at my yard, you sound totally different and not boring at all. Your aims sound similar to mine, to enjoy and get the best out of my horse. But they don't seem to even want to do that, they send most of their time at the yard drinking endless cups of coffee and smoking, rather than spending time with their horses. Of course I join them, but my horse comes first, I don't really want to get dragged into all that.

Thanks so much for the replies! xx
 
Natassia , no offence taken so don't worry! There are some women at my yard who seem to prefer drinking coffee and smoking to actually riding their horses and I can't understand them either. I ride most days and I love schooling my pony and seeing how much we can improve together.

Good luck with finding a nice yard if and when you decide to move
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I moved one of my horses on Saturday to a field nine miles away to a field with my friends horses, My others are across the road from me but I needed to go further afield with my hacking. I worried myself sick on Friday night. Today we went for a lovely hack and saw a deer and I am so pleased that I moved him and now cant wait to move the others so my daughter can ride with us. (she came on bike today) Visit the new yard several times because I was considering another yard and everytime I went there no one was about. Just to add Ive been at my current yard for 44 years (with different horses) so bit of a wrench for me.
 
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