Should I sell my horse?

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My first post, so bare with me! I love my horse dearly, he's never put a foot wrong, but I am too nervous to ride him. He is a 3 year old, 4 this weekend, Arabian gelding. I got him back in October for my birthday, he was unbroken and wasn't paid much attention to. I was so excited to start breaking him in this Spring, he took it all in his stride. We had just started trotting under saddle when I had a horrific fall a few weeks back. I cannot fault him at all, the girth wasn't tight enough and the saddle slipped, throwing and dragging me against a fence, it was entirely my lack of balance and not getting a smaller girth. Since then, every time he trips, puts his ears forward, spooks, I get upset and want to get off. I feel as if I am holding him back, that I cant handle him anymore (I'm only 13), when the only thing holding me back from getting back on is my own fear. I lean over him everyday and burst into tears, to scared to get on or put my foot in the stirrup. I feel like he would benefit from being with someone older where he could fulfil his potential. I really don't want to sell him, as we've come so far, but we cannot afford to get somebody to train him for us. Has anyone has any experiences like this? If so, how have you overcome them? Any tips or stories are appreciated! Thanks!
 
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He's only a baby, it won't hurt his education at all if you make a decision to take him back a few stages and re-do the ground work until you fall back in love with the idea of riding him as your confidence in his abilities grows.

Make this a time for getting him used to absolutely everything you can think of that he might meet when you get him out and about - borrow a buggy and get him used to it, get umbrellas and open and shut them ,get him walking over plastic bags, under plastic bags dangled from an overhead line, make up some brightly coloured small jump fillers for use later on and get him to walk over them.

Another useful thing you can do to make your life easier now is to make sure that he's voice controlled, that he will walk, trot, halt, stand, stay, turn right, turn left from voice commands alone.

Then try and get some riding on another horse before you try getting back on this lad and when you do, in some months' time, get back on him take it in tiny baby steps so as not to frighten him - because the surest way of frightening him is to frighten you.

Good luck. Take it easy, you'll get a better result in the end.
 
could you have lessons and in the meantime work on you confidence on the ground.
he is only 3 and there should not be any hurry.
you could always turn him away and save up untill you do have someone to help/train him.
 
Agreeing with jemima's post about groundwork - it will help build both your own and your horse's confidence up so that eventually you may feel ready to get back on and ride. You are right - he is young and so are you and although that doesn't make your task impossible, you will need to take it slowly and don't be afraid to take a few steps back.

In terms of building up your own confidence, perhaps have a few lessons at a riding school on an older, more experienced horse. I don't mean to say that you are not a good rider, but perhaps being able to go for a ride and not worry about what the horse is doing might help your confidence and ultimately mean you can make progress with your own horse.

Hope it helps, wish both of you all the best,
Epona
 
If you've not already got an instructor you really trust, find one! Having a qualified instructor who you really trust and is supportive can make an enormous difference.

good luck! :)
 
As others have said, try not to worry - just go back a few steps where you were doing so well. As for the loose girth, don't beat yourself up about it - we all make mistakes at some point.

I'd definitely echo what someone else said about going to a riding school, every time I lose confidence I book in for a lesson (or hack) on a school horse - I don't need to worry about behaviour or "stuff going wrong" - I just get on and ride which gives me a huge confidence boost.
 
Disagreeing slightly with other posters I'm afraid. A young horse needs guidance from someone calm and confident - this is all new to him, and if the person he looks to for confidence when something new and possibly scary is introduced, is crying with fear, it's going to reinforce to him that the whole process is terrifying. Equally, your confidence has taken a knock, so a youngster probably isn't the smartest choice.

I suspect you are quite nervous anyway, judging by the reason you give for your fear - coming off because a saddle slips isn't nice, but it isn't something that should make you so scared that you are frightened to get on the horse. It wasn't anything he did wrong - it was user error. All that should have done is made you think "I'd better make damn sure I do the girth up tighter next time". He may well have panicked when the saddle slipped, and made the whole situation worse, but that's what babies do.

I'd be thinking very seriously about what you do next. He is a baby, and he deserves a good start to his ridden life - do you honestly think you can promise him that? Not meant in a nasty way, but purely practical. Young horses need to be guided, they need a confident rider, who won't get in a flap if things go pear shaped. You have to be absolutely sure that you can do that for him, and unfortunately, it doesn't sound to me like you can.

You're very young OP - you should be out having fun with a suitable horse!
 
Auslander said:
You're very young OP - you should be out having fun with a suitable horse!
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I agree with this. Back a horse later if that's what you want to do but at 13 I think you should be out just having fun and gaining more experience along the way which will make you far more prepared for backing something in a few years time. I love backing and bringing young horses on, it is lots of fun BUT it is risky - you do have to be very careful how you go about doing things and things CAN sometimes go wrong, that's just the nature of it. But things can go downhill extremely quickly, especially if you've lost confidence - no confidence and a youngster is the worst mix possible I think. It is then much tougher to sort out a horse who has had bad experiences early on. As hard as it is, if you cannot afford help now then I would consider selling. If you're that scared that you're crying, no amount of groundwork or riding other horses IMO will help. If you sell him then you could use that money to buy something already backed that you can just get on and get enjoying straight away.
 
Your very young op and so is your horse, its a big ask of a 13 year old to back and bring on any horse, Arabs are very sensitive and often take longer to mature sounds like you have done a good job but I would find a good instructor to help you, maybe just do a little with him this year let him grow up a bit do some long reining, lunging and some walks out in hand, then next year have regular lesson riding him, I have an arab gelding had him since he was two, I backed him and taught him everything when I was in my thirties and it was hard enough, his ten now and is such a good boy but it took him many years to really grow up.

Where are you in the country? I may know someone who knows Arabs that may be able to help you.

If your near me I would happily help you out, but if your really scared of him at the moment dont risk getting on him, as he will start to pick up on your fear and it could make him difficult in the future, can you not explain to your parents about the situation you really do need some help with this.
 
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I think if you were my daughter.... Hmmmm well if you were my daughter you wouldn't be in this situation. Are your parents horsey, have you got adult help? Poor you, the pony of a life time dream has gone to pot. If you have good back up and want to persevere fine, but I think my advice would be sell and get something you can enjoy. Its meant to be fun not terrifying. Good luck.
 
Thanks for everybody's opinions, I did get back on yesterday. I have another horse on the side who I ride for a family who don't have enough time, he definitely boosted my confidence to get back on. We are both pretty much back to normal now, I'm not filled up with confidence like I was a few weeks back, but I will get it back slowly. I do agree that I should have bought something already broken, something I can have fun on, but I was so wrapped up in getting a horse, I didn't take the time to view others. But I made that mistake and I have to live with it, however, it was going great until the fall. So I will continue to preserve with him whilst I ride the other pony, hopefully all goes well. And no, my parents aren't horsey anymore, but they used to be. Thank you!
 
Let me see: you are 13, your (very recently unbroken Arab) horse is just 4 years old, and you have had a scary and potentially injurious fall due to a very silly mistake and cannot afford professional input. Yes, you should sell the horse and get one that is more suitable to your level of expertise.
 
I also had a four year old Arab when I was thirteen. Honestly someone else had to pretty much get her going in the first year and I still needed a lot of help after that. It took until she was six to really click. Honestly it worked out more expensive having a baby horse and meant for a long time I didn't really have a horse to ride. Just my personal experience.
 
Hopefully the person you've found will be able to help you both out. If it doesn't work though, don't be a hero - there are lots of people who have made the same mistake and had to either get a lot of help or move the horse on to someone who can give it what it needs. It's not the worst thing to learn early that loving a horse is not enough. Many people have to learn that as adults and it's usually a lot more messy!

Good luck!
 
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