Should I sell my horse?

[Amelia246]

Hi all,

For the past few months I’ve been having an internal battle and thoughts of selling my horse, a battle which I’m sure many of you are familiar with.

I’ve had my gelding for almost 3 years and love him to bits, he’s the sweetest boy ever and I would do anything for him, but recently I feel he is going to waste with me and I can’t provide everything I want to for him, and finances are also an issue.

Lately I’m struggling financially and with my mental health and I haven’t been able to ride as much, I will still ride at least 2-3x per week and otherwise he’s enjoying out in the field. I know I will get over this phase in my life and would regret selling him due to that, but additionally, money is tight and I’m just about managing to pay household bills as well as livery fees, feed, shoeing etc. I’ve cut costs where I can, and also have a part loaner who rides 1-2x per week but the extra money isn’t getting very far.

Due to my work commitments my gelding is on full livery, he’s very happy and thriving where he is and ideally I don’t want to move him, the yard is also great for me but very expensive and I’m starting to feel that my only options are to try DIY or part livery (if my yard would even let me switch), move him to somewhere cheaper, fully loan him out for a while until I can manage my finances, or to sell him.

It would break my heart to sell him, but I am contemplating this because I feel that someone else would be able to give him more than I can, as I’m also feeling that he is too good for me with lots of potential to go far and unfortunately I can’t afford many lessons/clinics on top of what I’m already paying. I have a friend who would be interested in buying him and she could give him everything and more, and take him to his full potential with competing and schooling etc. I would absolutely love to see him go there but I also don’t want to lose him completely, which is also why I’m considering a full loan, but I’m just having such a struggle lately I don’t know what the answer is.

I bought him just to enjoy him, dabble in a bit of everything and do some hacking, over the years though we have done a lot together and I’d love to be able to compete in regular SJ like we were doing up until the last year. Honestly part of me would be happy to pop him in a field and just hack now and again, and when I can afford it I can move him back to a yard like he is now, but would that just be wasting him? I know he’d be happy doing that, he’s not a horse that needs a job, he’s quite happy to be going out everyday and ridden occasionally, but he’s a TBX so can’t live out 24/7 and obviously needs some extra care, and he’s 10 so not getting any younger.

Just as a side note, the part loaner isn’t able to fully loan, and the friend who would buy isn’t willing to fully loan unfortunately.

Please be kind, I’m new to the forum and already criticising myself enough as it is, I think I’d just like some suggestions from people who’ve been in the same place I have, and advice on whether I’m being selfish by keeping my boy and him not going to someone who can bring out his full potential.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

The first thing to say is that you wouldn't be wasting your horse, even if you never rode him again. The horse is perfectly happy in a field with companions, so long as he has sufficient food and water.
A TBx can live out if he is rugged as necessary, so that could be one option that you don't need to discount.
The one thing that no-one can help with is your finances, only you know what you can afford and if you go to p/l on your current yard you need to consider; would you spend more on fuel? Would you have enough time around your working hours?
I'm sorry that you find yourself in this position but I think there are a few issues that have all combined to make you consider your horse's future. Can you separate those issues out and think about the pros and cons
of each individual issue to help you decide what is best?
Remember you bought your horse to enjoy, not to put yourself under pressure to be a better rider. It sounds as if your self confidence is low and that is why you are considering selling. The horse doesn't care!

 

[Widgeon]

Agree with the above - I don't think you'd be selfish to keep him, most horses aren't bothered whether they're worked or not. It sounds like he's being worked four or five times a week between you and the loaner, which sounds pretty good to me! TBs definitely can live out 24/7 - three do on our yard and one is ancient. Plenty of forage and a big rug and he'll be alright. If you have a decent relationship with your YO I would explain the financial situation (just that it's tight) and see if they'd let you go onto part livery, or any other helpful cost saving options.

However if you're really struggling to pay for him, and the financial situation isn't likely to improve, that's a different question. If you have a potential nice new home lined up there's absolutely nothing wrong with selling (and I agree that I'd do it now while he's young).

 

[Pmf27]

It sounds as though selling him would make you quite unhappy in the long run, so if it were me I'd want to explore every possibility before landing at that option.

As above, your horse isn't going to be fussed that he's not out competing or showing or what have you, he's perfectly happy being a horse and hanging out with his pals.

It sounds like a full loan would be the best option, at least until your finances are in a more stable position. Or could you take on a second part loaner? Up until recently I was sharing with two others, so it can work and gives you that extra cash - with the added benefit that you can still ride him a day or two a week.

 

[Amelia246]

Thank you for your reply, I didn’t realise how common it is for a TB to live out 24/7, everyone I know is against it but it’s definitely something to keep in mind, as I think I’d rather do that as a last resort than lose him entirely, I just love him to bits. Thank you for the reassurance that I won’t be wasting him if he isn’t with someone who can do all the clinics and shows etc. And when I say that I’m absolutely not judging anyone who is a happy hacker or rides just for leisure, I suppose it’s just all I’ve known and I would like to return to that at some point in the future, I think I am just putting pressure on myself too to be a certain rider and need to remind myself it’s okay to just enjoy riding and spending time with my horse.

The financial issues are 100% temporary, they would definitely be eased if I was on a cheaper livery and had the chance to get back on top of everything.

I think I will look at moving him to a smaller/less expensive yard with less facilities, as long as there’s decent hacking I’ll be happy. I have a good relationship with the YO I’m at now, and have been honest with her about everything so she is aware, but I’ve not made the move to actively look at finding somewhere else, and I think I would return to the yard in the future when I have a chance and can afford to.

 

[McFluff]

Reading your post, what comes across is that your current situation is not forever, all of us just want to survive the next few months, and things will get better.
What jumps out is that you say you’d love to just have him turned out and hack him occasionally. And that he’d be happy with that. Horses don’t have ambitions, they don’t feel wasted. Don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise.
If financially you can make a lower key arrangement work for a while, then why not try it? TBs can live out quite happily. And the approach may work well for both of you (and possibly even help your mental health).
if this approach would still leave you financially stressed, then maybe selling is the right option.
It may also be worth looking at support for your own mental health. Do you have access to an employee assistance programme? Some offer counselling and a short course may well give you some much needed support.
Good luck whatever you decide for you and your boy.

 

[splashgirl45]

The horse is happy living out and going out hacking a few times a week. You are happy hacking a few times a week And love your horse, so no problem. Financially you are feeling under pressure and your mental health is a bit fragile. Why not try part DIY or com0letely DIY for the winter and take the pressure off and ride when the weather is nice and you want to, he won’t mind only mooching round the field as long as he has company…it would be a shame to sell him before trying other options..

 

[Deltofe2493]

Absolutely do not sell your horse!!!

Move to part liv / DIY.. I don’t know what job you do or how bad your finances are, but you bought your boy to enjoy.

I have felt the same many a time over the past year with crippling vet bills. Being in debt is making me stressed, but I don’t know where I would be without my four legged friend.

can you work part time in retail or hospitality for some extra cash?

 

[PipsqueakXy22]

Would your friend not full loan him instead of buying him? Or perhaps your part loaner would be interested in full loan for a while? definitely sounds like there are plenty of options before selling, even if moving to DIY or part livery

 

[Boulty]

Sit down & work out how much your livery bill needs to come down by to make keeping him affordable. Work out how much extra you'd spend on petrol (plus hay, feed & bedding if currently included) if you went part or DIY. Have a chat to your sharer, see if they'd be happy to do some chores on their days. If you're working full time would there be other liveries you could trade favours with (if allowed) or would you be able to pay for services if you did have days you needed them?


If you can't find a way to make it work at current yard then looking for somewhere less expensive is obviously also an option even if it means less facilities (but again make sure there's support if you need it) & less riding in winter. (Oh and with good rugs, shelter, plenty to eat & somewhere dry to stand most horses can live out quite happily)

 

[dottylottie]

echoing what others have said, but i don’t think a horse is ever “wasted” - horses don’t know the potential they have to compete etc and if the horse and owner are both happy and healthy with the horse being a glorified lawn mower i don’t see anything wrong with that!

if you could move to diy/part, would the part loaner possibly like to spend more days with him for the same financial contribution? that way you still save some money, and have some help with the extra duties.

 

[BBP]

Thank you for your reply, I didn’t realise how common it is for a TB to live out 24/7, everyone I know is against it but it’s definitely something to keep in mind, as I think I’d rather do that as a last resort than lose him entirely, I just love him to bits. Thank you for the reassurance that I won’t be wasting him if he isn’t with someone who can do all the clinics and shows etc. And when I say that I’m absolutely not judging anyone who is a happy hacker or rides just for leisure, I suppose it’s just all I’ve known and I would like to return to that at some point in the future, I think I am just putting pressure on myself too to be a certain rider and need to remind myself it’s okay to just enjoy riding and spending time with my horse.

The financial issues are 100% temporary, they would definitely be eased if I was on a cheaper livery and had the chance to get back on top of everything.

I think I will look at moving him to a smaller/less expensive yard with less facilities, as long as there’s decent hacking I’ll be happy. I have a good relationship with the YO I’m at now, and have been honest with her about everything so she is aware, but I’ve not made the move to actively look at finding somewhere else, and I think I would return to the yard in the future when I have a chance and can afford to.

I used to groom for a NZ team rider with horses from novice to 4-5*, all bar 1 were TBs, and for Mark Todd when he had his racehorses in NZ. Every single one lived out on some decent hills, including all the in training racehorses, and only came in to be worked. So don’t ever let anyone tell you TBs can’t live out 24/7! Your horse sounds like a real gem.

 

[Getbackboys]

hi Amelia please remind those who are against tb’s living out over winter it is what most wintered off racehorses do, so they can be horses and live naturally away from the stresses and hard work they have been in, as long as they have enough hay, rugged if no shelter most come out of winter nice and round ready for the new season.

personally i would not go down the p/l route as i dont feel you will find much of a financial difference, if you can try and find a field to rent even with others would be better then more eyes to see him/her esp with work. nothing stopping u putting him in retirement livery until your siu improves. going on retirement livery doesnt mean he can never be pulled out of the field, moved to a yard and ridden again.

do not sell unless you have really covered all avenues and there is no way out. re look at your overall budget write it down, buy cheaper food u and dogs and horse, you will be amazed where you can save. remove shoes go winter barefoot good for the horse. etc

the financisl pressure you are under is affecting your mental health, it is not permanent, we are all in the same boat, tighten yr budget, be thankful u have a job, others have lost it all incl their animals, be strong

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I'm going to offer a different perspective -

I gave up on hearing the news about how the energy prices were going to soar. However the crucial thing here was that I had been ready to give up for a long time (had an unsellable horse). The announcement was the straw that broke the camels back.

My mental health has been better since not having to constantly burn money on horses. I'm able to put the much needed extra money into the bills fund each month. I'm not getting the stress of each month thinking I'm doing ok then bam the horse needs something and I'm back to scraping for money.

I'd always tried to avoid looking at the true cost of horses, until I had to add up the costs when applying for a mortgage. It was a shock just how much of my not very considerable salary went on him and as I started to lose interest, horses felt more like a burden and I did become resentful but continued to trudge along as I felt I "owed it" to him especially as he was unsellable

I've sat on a horse once since I gave up.

However what "helped" with my decision was I'd been long ready to give up horses completely. I have not regretted the decision in the slightest and don't remotely miss all the stress, time and financial burden it was. It has allowed the increase in bills to be covered.

Op maybe have a good think - does having a horse help or hinder your mental health? Would having the money freed up from not having one help or hinder it? That may help you make a decision

Only saying my view to try and offer OP a different perspective. I think the crucial thing for me though was I'd been ready to give up a long time ago.

 

[rabatsa]

I reluctantly sold my horse when I was in my early 20's, I could not survive finacially and pay for him. It broke me at the time as he was a homebred boy. A couple of years later I got married to a farm and was able to start up again in diferent circumstances.

It was the right thing for me to do, it was hard but better for both me and my future. Yes I did regret it but the pot of money I saved went a long way as some compensation.

In the same position again I would still do the same thing with hindsight.

 

[maya2008]

My old TB lived out for 20 years. When in work, she needed a fair bit of rugging, but grew a hairy coat and barely needed a rug for her retirement. I had her on grass livery with a school, so she could be checked by me once a day and ridden after work. So much cheaper than full livery! Being out at grass also meant that if I was having a really busy week at work, she kept her fitness and didn’t mind just having cuddles in the evening.

 

[Getbackboys]

i think it is different if you really dont want to get rid of your horse esp if it is your heart horse i know i would have lived on beans on toast if i couldnt afford to keep my heart horse whom i sadly lost anyway. i am left with 2, a 36 yr old shettie and a 24 yr old welshie both in good health, yes what i spend on them i could use to cover bills, but i also would not sell or give them away at their age, so until such time they are no longer fit enough to live healthy lives i will have to manage them to the best of my income will allow without compromising on their welfare. it is hard but if you budget and really look at what you are spending your money on, that bar of choc, that take away sandwich, that mcdonalds lunch, your hair cut, your nails being done, buying unbranded food, etc, you can find you have a bit more.

also as far as elec bills are concerned, do not just accept what the energy co are telling you to pay look at your monthly bill call them and tell them you will pay what your actual bill is by direct debit and if it goes up by £10 then you will increase your direct debit. my monthly bill was £37 a month, they told me i had to pay £108 a month whilst i had £234 in credit, i told them to do one and i pay £52 a month to cover any additional usafe for heating and if it goes up i will increase it to cover, but no way was i going to pay £108 so my money could sit in their bank account, you are in charge ??

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Horses don't care if they are ridden and they certainly don't think they are being wasted, and any horse is capable of living out with the right management, I have Arab's and they are kept out as much as possible that includes overnight in winter and they are clipped.

I would find something cheaper or even think about turning him away for a bit cheaper still, maybe speak to the loaner you have and see if she would like to do a few more days and pay a bit more.

 

[paddi22]

we've a field of tbs that live out happily all barefoot and some unrugged even. I was in a similar position to you a good few years ago when I was much younger, and I put my tb (who was a fragile nightmare) on the cheapest semi-retirement grass livery I could find, for a year. I didn't think originally he would cope with it, but He absolutely thrived mentally and physically and it took so much pressure off me. I would go up and hack him or hand-walk him from the field. A year later, I was in a very different place financially and mentally, and I could start riding him again and get back to normal with him. I always kept him at grass livery after that!

 

[Amelia246]

Thank you all so much for your advice and kind words, I definitely will try other avenues and only sell as a last resort. Thankfully I don’t need the lump sum from selling him, and my finances aren’t that dreadful yet that I can’t try other things first. I will speak to my YO and PL this weekend and explore options, I’ve seen some cheaper liveries advertised in the area recently and I think I will try part livery and see how that goes for me.

Just for future reference, what’s the best way to transition a TB to living out? Currently he’s out all day and in at night, he loves his time out though and not usually waiting at the gate unless the weather is that horrendous. Considering barefoot also as others have said, his feet aren’t too great at the moment, always losing shoes and crumbling feet, I’ve added farriers formula and a hoof hardener so hopefully will start to see a difference soon, but would it be best to wait a little while before attempting him going barefoot?

 

[Getbackboys]

pop a rug on and give him a night feed in field and lots of hay to keep him occupied, his feet sound like they could really do with being out of shoes for a time so they can heal, winter is best time ground is soft, yes to farriers formula or just add biotin or codlivine min and vit suppl beilliant for feet, do make sure he has company out otherwise may not settle and try to come in to the others and what he is used to.

 

[splashgirl45]

If his feet are crumbling and he is losing shoes I would try to take them off, maybe hinds first and then a couple of weeks later the fronts if he is ok on the hinds. If you don’t mind not riding for a while so he has a chance to harden up it would be best to do it in the winter

 

[paddi22]

Thank you all so much for your advice and kind words, I definitely will try other avenues and only sell as a last resort. Thankfully I don’t need the lump sum from selling him, and my finances aren’t that dreadful yet that I can’t try other things first. I will speak to my YO and PL this weekend and explore options, I’ve seen some cheaper liveries advertised in the area recently and I think I will try part livery and see how that goes for me.

Just for future reference, what’s the best way to transition a TB to living out? Currently he’s out all day and in at night, he loves his time out though and not usually waiting at the gate unless the weather is that horrendous. Considering barefoot also as others have said, his feet aren’t too great at the moment, always losing shoes and crumbling feet, I’ve added farriers formula and a hoof hardener so hopefully will start to see a difference soon, but would it be best to wait a little while before attempting him going barefoot?

I had a family emergency that meant I had to just pull shoes, rug up and turn away in a hurry. Horse was absolutely fine and coped fine. Mine had the worst hooves ever, and they actually improved being turned away. they did get soft in winter and dry in summer, but he was fine. I popped boots on for when I wanted to take him on hard surfaces

 

[Fransurrey]

Sorry you're in this position. I've lost all riding mojo, too and had some mental health struggles, but luckily my boy lives out with a shelter and is still ok when not ridden for a week. I know of a few TBs with the same set up and it is less stressful than stabling on DIY, if you can find it as an option near you. One of those was an instant transition - no different to when you go on 24/7 in summer when you think about it! With regards to shoes, have a chat with farrier about helping you to measure for boots after a trim. They're expensive to begin with, but outlast shoes by quite a bit.

 

[Amelia246]

Thanks all I feel much better about my decisions now! Will 100% look at getting some hoof boots and going barefoot and finding somewhere a bit cheaper.