Should I sell my much loved horse??

[Greyhorse1]

Hi everyone, first post so please bare with me.

I have had my horse since he was 7, he is now 15. I am having the heartbreaking dilemma whether I sell him or not and would appreciate some advice.

I bought him as a project from an unsuitable home. In short he was a mess and it took me a long time but I really bonded with him and love him to pieces. He has however shattered my confidence and I have not ridden for well over a year. He is far too much horse for me, and has become worse since I started my new job with an hours commute leaving me with virtually no time and he was exploding with energy every time I rode him.
I then got a sharer around 2 years ago who took him on full loan last year who also loves him however I am becoming increasingly worried about the logistics if he was to come back to me (he is on his original yard still)
I don't think loaner would buy him but I have not asked, as she is looking to start a family next year and has openly said this to me, although she didn't say she would definitely be returning him it is a possibility!!

The problems with selling him are...
-he is 15, isn't this too old?? For his age he has not done much bar hacking as I had another competition horse and anything more than local blows his mind. He would explode at a show (and has- I got asked to leave the ring!!)
- He is a very difficult ride. He throws himself around at the slightest thing (carts,bags,people!!) and panics at anything new. He won't show or stand to do any comps etc and will bolt if panicked. He does not hack alone or jump (not selling him am I??) In short all he does is hack in company and even then all he does is bounce/jog/leap about. He is super fir and will go for miles but is strong and agile and has a habit of spin and leap in air at every little thing!!
- He is a very bad weaver. He weaves in or out, and suffers from mud fever from standing in the puddle he weaves. He mainly does it at meal times/to come in but it's annoying. He won't live out as he has silly pink skin that burns in summer and gets horrible rain scald and mud fever in winter. Plus he waits to come in and gallops around if I dare leave him out.
- He would make the worlds worst companion horse. He was never introduced to many horses as a youngster and as a result seems to not know how to interact. He manages to be beaten horrendously by all horses even the nicest of (never fights back though!) and can only be turned out with one other horse who happens to be a Shetland as he is too small to damage him! He absoloutley could not live in a hers but then again suffers badly from desperation anxiety when left alone so is pretty much attached to his one friend. They even stable together as he sweats and rears if separated. Hence won't hack alone well at all.

I have made him sound like a nightmare I know. The more he is worked the fitter and more difficult he becomes to I confess to just letting him get on with it and barely riding. My loaner rides a few times a week but I think she is struggling with him as she text me saying he bolted with her over a horse and cart.

Other than that he is a lovely happy horse, perfect on the ground and very loving but I feel he is the kind of horse to fall into the wrong hands. He has had a terrible past and I don't want that for him again, he visibly flinches if you raise a voice or hand to him (not that I ever have)


I can't realistically afford to keep him and worry the longer I leave this the older he is becoming so the chances of placing him are small. I could probably have him if I dared ride him but I am honestly frightened to ride him since he threw me badly over a lawnmower and I just don't think I could justify the time and expense if he came back
On the other hand I love the bones of him and would hate myself if anything happened to him. It sounds silly but I promised I would have him forever!!

I have totally gone off riding alltogether and think I need a total confidence giver if I was to ride again but I could not afford to have two along with job/house/cars/jobs/husband and anything else that comes along.

What would you lot do :-(
Ps sorry for length!!

 

[Hungey]

It sounds like you really are struggling. I'm sorry I'm not helpful as I have no advice to be honest. But it sounds like you need a real confidence giver to inspire you back into riding. Sorry I know iv not been very good help. I hope you get this sorted!

 

[ladyt25]

Firstly, I do feel for you. Owning horses is supposed to be a pleasure. You say how bad he is but then, if this sharer/loanee has had him for essentially 2 years and is (I assume) still riding him and you say she loves him then I can't quite comprehend that he's as bad as you say?

I think at 15 he is perfectly sellable age wise BUT if he truly does have these issues that you state then I don't think it's sensible to sell him.

the thing is though, what someone deems as 'explosive' is just a normal, albeit lively horse to someone else. The 'bolting' doesn't sound real either as if it was I doubt he or you/your loaner would still be about. Plenty of horses cr*p themselves when they see a horse and cart! Sounds like he needs and experienced person to take him on either that or you keep him as an unridden field ornament or have to make a decision to PTS (something that would not be an option I would choose)

 

[Tobiano]

Oh gosh! That is a really honest post and I feel for your dilemma.

Just reading what I have seen my opinion, FWIW is -

- if he could live as a field ornament with you (and a shetland!) and be happy and sound, then that is a possibility

- from what you say, if you sold him I think he sounds like the kind of horse that would change hands a lot in a short time (so well done you for having kept him for so long) and probably end up in a very sorry state

- the only other possibility I can see is that if there is some underlying physical issue that that could be sorted out and he could be more rideable afterwards, he might have a chance with a new owner. But if it was me I'd have to see that happen rather than hope it might happen with someone else...

Terribly sorry to say but if options 1 and 3 are not feasible then IMHO the kindest thing would probably be to have him PTS. I would not sell him with the issues you describe. Really sorry... hope someone else has a better idea. x

 

[khalswitz]

I'll be completely honest, please don't hate me for it, but maybe you should consider pts if he comes back to you. I completely agree that he's the type that would be tricky to home and could be dangerous in the wrong hands, and could easy go from pillar to post. It sounds like he finds the world a scary, stressful place, and moving him on would be really hard for him if that is how he is when he's settled! And you need to enjoy your riding too. 15 is a good enough age, and he's lives half his life in good care with you. So it is an option to consider. But beware of selling him, poor chap. I'm sorry op this is a horrible situation! Hugs x

 

[Cortez]

What would I do? If I wasn't in a position to keep him I would PTS; he sounds like a problem from every single angle and I cannot see anyone else taking him on.

 

[wallykissmas]

What would I do? If I wasn't in a position to keep him I would PTS; he sounds like a problem from every single angle and I cannot see anyone else taking him on.

Have to agree, unless you could keep him as a field ornament I would have him pts, in case once sold he hurt anyone. He sounds like in the wrong hands he could be very dangerous.

I don't envy your decision.

 

[be positive]

This is not an easy decision but unless the loaner would agree to buy him for a nominal £1 and you trusted she would not sell him on, I would pts, he is unlikely to find a genuine permanent home and is the type to be passed on at the bottom end of the market for some time before he gets lucky and either finds a good home or is sent for meat.
You could be lucky and sell him as a project horse but if you have tried for so long and he has not got over any of the issues listed he is unlikely to be able to move on and improve now.

 

[babymare]

Hun given is issues i would contemplate PTS. It is not an "easy" solution but sometimes one that we have to think about. Yes there maybe someone out there that could and would give him a good home but . and thats the big thing. But could you guarentee that. hun you obviously love him and done well by him and the fact you described him (very bravely) as you have makes me think you are being realistic to. harrd hard decision and want to hug you x

 

[ridefast]

Just wondering what you feed him?

 

[Greyhorse1]

Thank you everyone very much. In all honestly I have contemplated PTS but it breaks my heart as he is happy in his own little world!! It's a shame my world revolves around his needs!!
Years ago I was pretty fearless and just rode him through it, however the older I get and the more injuries I get the more nervous I get. He is the kind of horse who takes confidence from his rider and as I am petrified he seems to pick up on this and become so much worse
I think my loaner started off with loads of confidence and bonded with him as I did but he is slowly chipping away at her. He does not bolt as in a blind panic bolt but he will rear/spin until you loose your hold and then gallop for home. He is highly intelligent and will turn and just go for it, if you manage to get a good hold he will spin or cat leap so you are back to square one!!

Luckily myself and my loaner are on a fantastic yard with a great support network, the yard owner is lovely and supportive and does a lot to help with the management of him (for example, own field, own Shetland friend, bigger box!) which makes it easier and also my loaner has a lot of friends on the yard to help.
She has lots of lessons also and he is so talented but it is impossible to actually take him anywhere as he is downright dangerous. I am lucky in that loaner is very much a social rider and mainly hacks in company on a weekend (the one thing he likes) and as she never challenges him he is never as badly behaved as what I have seen. Most of his behaviour is when you try and push him to try something else or different.
Maybe this is why she has stuck with him so long but then again she is one in a million??!!

I would love to keep him but my nerves are shot!! I tried to ride him once this spring but he reared with excitement and began to spin and I cried and got off!! How pathetic when I used to gallop him around without a care and used to ignore or even laugh at his silly behaviour without fear!!

Thanks again everyone.

 

[Greyhorse1]

Ride fast he is a very good doer and dosent get hard feed, chaff and hay in winter and restricted grazing in summer.

He has also been vet assessed, physio checked, had every test in the book and been seen my many an instructor who all say the same. One very talented but spoilt little horse. He spent his first 5 years locked in a box and beaten, no contact with other horses and beaten into submission until I bought him from the meat man, hence the issues I think...

 

[NeedNewHorse]

I am sorry but people should be really careful at just spouting out 'putting to sleep' left right and centre. I hear it all the time on here and it's ridiculous.

Absolutely NOTHING against you for this OP, but no one knows OP's ability. What might be 'bolting' 'dangerous' behaviour to her, may be a normal sharp horse to someone else and no one else has seen the OP ride or handle horse's so again, have no clue if actually this horse is crazy, or just confused, mismanaged etc. Yet everyone is quick and willing to potentially put the horse down. Charming. I mean come on, does respect for life mean nothing??

OP as I said this was not meant specifically for you, just in the response from many who seem so quick to 'terminate' the problem.

Me, what would I do. I would work on it. If you love this horse then I would persevere but I would be changing tactic somewhat. I would completely and utterly 'go over' everything that you are currently doing/managing this horse to try and solve his problems. Obviously at this point we have little to do on other than he is crazy. But if you feel that there is a slim chance of 'wanting' to get your confidence back then that would be enough. The desire however has to be there, and it can be a wonderful thing.

Having said that if you truly and utterly feel you don't want to try, then I would try and find another sharer and take a good look at his management and routine/feed and with this information in mind find a suitable sharer, who is loan with poss view to buy
Goodluck.

 

[ridefast]

Ride fast he is a very good doer and dosent get hard feed, chaff and hay in winter and restricted grazing in summer.

He has also been vet assessed, physio checked, had every test in the book and been seen my many an instructor who all say the same. One very talented but spoilt little horse. He spent his first 5 years locked in a box and beaten, no contact with other horses and beaten into submission until I bought him from the meat man, hence the issues I think...

So, could ulcers be a possibility? And perhaps his grazing is not balanced and he just gets affected more than your average horse? You can send a grass sample to forage plus who will do a mineral analysis and let you know if anything is lacking in the grazing, which could be affecting behaviour. I know ulcers get thrown around a lot but considering how long you've had him and (assuming) how much money has been spent on him would it hurt to treat him for ulcers?

 

[ridefast]

Short of that, would he suit a home doing something like endurance?

 

[Greyhorse1]

Thank you neednewhorse. No offence taken!

I am not the best rider in the world, however nobody on my yard will contemplate getting on him and neither did 3 instructors I had before the current one (who still dislikes it but will hop on to demonstrate!!)
I am sure with someone fearless as I used to be he is ridable, he needs someone to ride him through the madness and show him there is nothing to be scared of however I can't do this as I am too on edge. Nobody else will take him out either as they have all witnessed him from the ground and I wouldn't allow it anyway incase a friend was hurt! I am sure someone could ride him it's just finding that person :-(

 

[Greyhorse1]

Thanks ride fast will look into that!! He could be okay for endurance however will try and race others and explode if held back (likes to be in front at all times or will race) but if there was a rider who could put up with the initial silly behaviour for the first 20-30mins he could do the job I think?!!

 

[Cortez]

Thanks ride fast will look into that!! He could be okay for endurance however will try and race others and explode if held back (likes to be in front at all times or will race) but if there was a rider who could put up with the initial silly behaviour for the first 20-30mins he could do the job I think?!!

He's 15...........and a novice. Not sure there would be too many endurance riders prepared to take that on.

 

[Aarrghimpossiblepony]

What about contacting the Monty Roberts type people?
OK I don't like them, but what have you got to lose?

They have to have difficult horses to show everybody they are miracle workers.
Different approach plus they are set up to succeed, lots of equipment and help.

(disclaimer, I think they are snake oil salesmen however I'd even try snake oil if nobody could offer an alternative)

 

[PeterNatt]

This is down to 'Horses for Courses'. You no longer want to ride this horse but wish to secure the best future for your horse. You have three choices which are to find someone else that can cope with your horses behaviour, put the horse in permanent retirement or put your horse to sleep to avoid it being passed on from one unsuitable home to another.
Your ideal solution would be to find a highly capable and fearless rider to buy him from you and who could get the 'best out of him' by riding him several hours a day and would not worry about his behaviour. I would suggest that in the right hands he may eventually turn in to a very useful horse but finding the right genuine person is the task at hand and may take a very long time.
As we get older most of us loose some of our rubber content so you are no different to anyone else so please don't beat yourself up. I am sure that you will do your best by your horse.

 

[slumdog]

These are the sort of horses I buy lol, he sounds like a big version of mine. She's been in 10 homes in 8 years, and also does the same rearing and spinning and generally boiling over at any sort of excitement (she doesn't hack at all, not even round my field) shes jumped her stable door so I cant stable her and has jumped the fence into her field, luckily for her she's a super talented jumping pony which has saved her bacon.

I know its the same old, but have you ruled out back, tack, teeth etc? I'm going to have my mare scoped for ulcers, I'm just ruling out things one by one. Also I know nothing about it so stand to be corrected but could it be symptoms of kissing spines?

 

[cheeryplatypus]

Can you just keep him as a pet without the riding pressures?

 

[Greyhorse1]

Thank you everyone! He has had so much vet work up but not scoped, he has not shown any signs of ulcers other than his behaviour although I can speak to my vet!
I would love to have him as a pet, however shift work and finances won't allow me to really keep a horse without getting anything out of it sadly!!

 

[MagicMelon]

As usual, Im pretty horrified so many people suggest PTS, which IMO I personally would never do if the horse is well (and I have 3 field ornaments but luckily also have 1 other who is perfectly rideable - but my ornaments are with me forever, I owe it to them). If you CAN financially look after this horse then I think you should, OR you should offer him totally to the loaner? It sounds like you're still very involved with the horse but would the loaner take him on properly? If not, I'd try to find another loaner who would then you dont have the financial burden etc. yet can still keep a close eye on him and he cant be passed around. People on here always moan that you shouldn't for whatever reason try to loan/sell etc. and its "better" to PTS, which is utter rubbish. Its a cop-out IMO, its just the easiest/quickest way out! And I also find it pretty selfish that some people might prefer to PTS purely so they can afford a riding horse. There more than likely IS the right person out there for your horse, you just have to spend some time finding them.

 

[Noodles_3]

As usual, Im pretty horrified so many people suggest PTS, which IMO I personally would never do if the horse is well (and I have 3 field ornaments but luckily also have 1 other who is perfectly rideable - but my ornaments are with me forever, I owe it to them). If you CAN financially look after this horse then I think you should, OR you should offer him totally to the loaner? It sounds like you're still very involved with the horse but would the loaner take him on properly? If not, I'd try to find another loaner who would then you dont have the financial burden etc. yet can still keep a close eye on him and he cant be passed around. People on here always moan that you shouldn't for whatever reason try to loan/sell etc. and its "better" to PTS, which is utter rubbish. Its a cop-out IMO, its just the easiest/quickest way out! And I also find it pretty selfish that some people might prefer to PTS purely so they can afford a riding horse. There more than likely IS the right person out there for your horse, you just have to spend some time finding them.

I totally get what you are saying, personally I hate it when people go Pts Pts Pts! It annoys me as they don't look at the bigger picture. However, saying that, in this case sadly I would be looking at that option.
How the op has described her horse makes him sound dangerous. He is not a good companion, besides from the shetland staying with him. He has reached a good age. The op is financially struggling. It is not easy to find a home for most horses these days, let alone a 'dangerous' one. I'm sure the op would never neglect him but it is so hard to keep going with a horse when you are financially struggling and the op could spend ages waiting for the 'right home'.

Obviously I'd give it a good go first looking for a home for him as I'm not one to give up easily and I hate the thought of Pts but I do think sadly it may be an option for this horse and the op shouldn't feel bad about it if worst comes to worst.

I don't want to upset you op, I can't imagine how hard it is for you. good luck with whatever you decide and don't make any rash decisions. Have a good think through after exploring all avenues first xx

 

[erwina]

Sadly the over breeding of horses without knowledge of breeding quality horses has left us over populated with animals that are being abandoned and neglected. I would rather see these animals PTS than starving in fields and stables. The OP's horse was a victim of this (not by op) and personally is not safe to ride if he's rearing or bolting, and if he's getting sunburned/mud fever and stressed, how happy is he really. I would also say PTS, op has given him many good years as she possibly can, and there is no way this horse would find a forever home.

 

[neelie OAP]

I'll be completely honest, please don't hate me for it, but maybe you should consider pts if he comes back to you. I completely agree that he's the type that would be tricky to home and could be dangerous in the wrong hands, and could easy go from pillar to post. It sounds like he finds the world a scary, stressful place, and moving him on would be really hard for him if that is how he is when he's settled! And you need to enjoy your riding too. 15 is a good enough age, and he's lives half his life in good care with you. So it is an option to consider. But beware of selling him, poor chap. I'm sorry op this is a horrible situation! Hugs x

Sorry but yes thats the kindest thing you could do for him, by selling him he could end up going from market to market and end up at some meat factory many miles away having to go through hell to get there, does he really deserve all that ask yourself, I know its hard, but its best for him and its him that you should think about isn't it !

 

[ridefast]

ULCERS: Scoping is IMO and a lot of vets opinion, a waste of time and money as it doesn't cover the hindgut which is where ulcers normally are, so it's better if ulcers are suspected to simply treat them for it and see if there are results. Many horses can have ulcers and not show any of the typical signs. Ulcers can develop at any time, anywhere, any horse.
This video is useful if ulcers are suspected http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr05hMmLCY4
OP forgot to ask, sorry if you've said already but have you had full bloods done?

 

[GeorgeyGal]

Is he only ridden once a week? Do you think he would calm down if he was worked daily, maybe he wouldn't be so fizzy? You could try a grass assessment from Dodson and horrell to check for mag ox deficiency. I can only suggest daily work, ground work, walking inhand, getting him used to ridden horses overtaking etc, routine to make him comfortable, can you lead round fields? Make sure he's not fighting any discomfort from the bit. I assume he's had his eyes checked etc

Wouldn't hurt to try an Intelligent Horsemanship recommended associate.

I really hope you do see some improvement that you or someone else can work with.

 

[Greyhorse1]

George girl- I have already done most of that stuff unfortunately. I can lead him but he is usually leaping around and will think nothing of squishing you if something scary comes along.

In his peak he was ridden most days and I did show a little however his behaviour was still the same, the fitter he gets the worse he gets hence unfit he is easier to ride. My circumstances changed and I stopped riding as much and totally lost my confidence. My loaner is great but she works full time, there would be no way to get a sharer and I would not trust anyone. I did have someone come to try him last year and he cantered off and leapt over a huge log and then bucked her off at landing, she was unconscious for a moment and although she was still keen to ride him again I wouldn't take the risk unless I knew the person myself and knew they could handle it.

He is definatley not in pain- just a muppet!! When he wants to he works beautifully, he just seems to have a switch that when flicked turns him into psycho horse and it terrifies me. It is definatley not a brain tumour or similar as he can choose when to do it (eg, if he sees a plastic bag or jump wing or a bird dares fly around him)
No amount of desensitising makes any difference. I have been desensitising him to the hose pipe for years and he still freaks every single night!!

I think I might have to accept I am stuck with a horse that I can't ride or use as a companion either. I don't mind paying for him if I could just turn him away and be done with it but I can't as he can't be with other horses and won't live out.

I can't really afford to keep a pet horse either, financially I am struggling at the moment (who isn't?) but the cost of keeping a large pet is not justifiable.

Thanks again everyone I think I need to have a long hard think.