Should I sell my pony?

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Samlikeshorses01

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Sorry if this is the wrong place to post/not allowed I'm new here.

So I've had my 148 welsh D gelding since October but have only been working with him since December as I was away at boarding school with my other pony. He had done elementary BD, 105 sj and 90 affiliated, and a few events. I had done one event (70cm), 95 sj and Novice unaffiliated. The first few months were great - our flatwork wasn't very good but was constantly improving and we were happily jumping the odd fence of 1.15 regularly, and short courses of about 1.05-1.10 ish. He would never ever stop even when we were lined up to big oxers disunited on a bad line.
Anyway we went to our first show and did an 85 and a 95. We had a stop and pole in the first class as I wasn't really riding and in the second class we had an elimination at the 4th fence. Afterwards we were jumping fine although I fell off him once but it didn't really bother me (he stopped and I ended up in the middle of an oxer).
Then for some reason I became really nervous of jumping him and he stopped a lot more.
Anyway I really feel like I should sell him.
Although our jumping is getting better I want to cry every time someone tells me to jump a spooky fence or oxer and he often stops due to me being nervous. I really hate jumping now and the idea of jumping makes me feel sick.
Our flatwork has come on but is really inconsistent - some days we are talking about moving up to elementary but some days I feel like we wouldn't even do well in a walk trot test.
I'm really fed up and I can't even control him - he is bargey and has no respect for me.
Part of me wants to sell him as I don't want to ruin him further but I know even if I do it will be hard to find a buyer and we won't get our money back due to how he's gone from jumping 1.20 courses to practically jumping poles on the ground. :(
Any advice welcome
 
Difficult to advise as this is probably your problem as much as his, your parents should be able to help you, but there is no point making yourself ill over it. Have you discussed it with them, are they horsey [in which case they may have experienced loss of nerve themselves]. You should also take lessons if you want to overcome this. I would not worry about the loss of value [easy for me to say!] at this stage. You may just need a few weeks away from riding, but it may be that you are wanting to give up altogether, there is no reason to feel that this is a failure on your part, it happens a lot.
Now the first thing is to ask for help with handling, as this is not acceptable behaviour, likely the pony senses you are nervous and this has upset his normal respectful behaviour.
There is a possibility that he has some sort of pain issue, so this also needs to be considered, either way an experienced adult should be able to help you.
 
Get some help, then decide.

Sounds like you need your confidence building up with a really good instructor, and it can be done, so if you love him, keep him :)

You definitely need to address his attitude to you on the ground though, is he bargy just with you?
 
D's get a bad rep for being bargey, I think most would be fine with consistent handling, you have to male sure you remind them who's in charge, they will try you often and any sign of weakness and they will walk all over you, they're clever and can read people well. If I'm nervous my mare will be too, if I'm not she's not so you're being anxious is likely creating this downward spiral. Do you have someone who could get yours jumping again, and instructor or confident friend?
 
Samlikeshorses01 said:
Thank you everyone for the advice - and no it's not just me personally he is bargy with he's just a welsh cob I guess!
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Well the first thing to do is to get a dually halter and do plenty of ground handling with him, he needs to learn respect, and you can do this, it is pressure/release, ask someone to demonstrate if you are not sure. Then set out grids and make tracks with poles on the ground, so he starts to learn little exercises like they do in le trec. You can also do long reining and lunging [not blasting round as fast as he can go!] these are skills which you need to learn at some time, and now is as good a time as any. Always wear hat and gloves and make sure he does what he is told.
 
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Poor ground behaviour isn't breed related. It sounds like the pony could use some schooling, and the pair of you might benefit from some confidence-building lessons with a good instructor.
 
fiwen30 said:
Poor ground behaviour isn't breed related. It sounds like the pony could use some schooling, and the pair of you might benefit from some confidence-building lessons with a good instructor.
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No but some breeds are more inclined to walk all over you than others if allowed. Welshies are usually very intelligent and this often reflects in their behaviour if they aren't handled firmly. Whereas your average cob might be a bit more forgiving.
 
The stereotypes are true though- welshes are commonly bargy! And commonly sensitive- if you raise your voice even the slightest he totally shuts down. He's a gelding but needs treating more like a stallion and working on mutual respect.
 
IME welshies need consistency, and constant reminders about barginess so it doesn't escalate. Mine is not the sort to be sensitive to a raised voice like Rara's but he is in some ways more fragile than he would initially appear.

I think they do rely on having a certain level of trust/a bond with their rider. I've had Frank 10 years but it definitely took him at least 12 months to really settle down and go with life. He has always been capable but a little tricky jumping - though not helped by me not really being as good as he needed for a good while. We have also had times where he has got me out of some real sticky spots/jumped things I wasn't sure about etc - but I do think he has a limited capacity for that, when reached he would start saying no.

I think keeping them consistently good and on side isn't always that easy.

OP I think it is up to you, what sort of help are you getting? Are you more put off because you get on better with your other pony? I'd be inclined not to push on too much jumping wise and hack and crack the schooling and groundwork. (In hindsight I should have done that!)
 
A lot of people are talking about him respecting you - but make sure you also respect him. The day I stopped shouting at/hitting my Welsh Cob was the day he stopped being bargy. He's clever enough to know that he doesn't have to put up with cr*p from me so why should he?

Take a step back - relax - and spend a lot of time doing basic things in your comfort zone. Do groundwork, pole work (in hand or ridden), hack out. Do keep it interesting for both of you but you don't have to compete. One day you'll *want* to jump the fence or go do dressage and that's OK. But until then there is no need to push too hard.
 
DD265 said:
A lot of people are talking about him respecting you - but make sure you also respect him. The day I stopped shouting at/hitting my Welsh Cob was the day he stopped being bargy. He's clever enough to know that he doesn't have to put up with cr*p from me so why should he?
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My old D would see winding me up as a challenge. The second I 'bit' he'd be 10 times worse. If I ignored him and carried on dealing with him calmly but firmly he'd be fine. Catching was the big thing. He'd trot round me in little circles and the second I took a step towards him he'd be off. If I ignored him and went to walk away he'd practically be putting the headcollar on himself. I miss loads about him but never this. Steel toe caps are a must with a Welshie!

Do you still have your old pony? Maybe take a break from riding this one and then when you're ready, get the help of a good instructor to start again. Also, don't feel under pressure to jump huge fences - if you're happy at 80cm stick to that for now and get really confident with this before pushing the height a bit.

Do your parents know how you feel?
 
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Lol an old instructor used to tell me he was winding me up on purpose. I am a lot more measured these days.
We were going to get eaten by a cardboard box that snuck up on him from the side yesterday as we got the junction between bridleway and road. I didn't expect him to go up to it etc/make a fight about it, just stand at the junction without swinging sideways, snorting or rushing off. All things he should manage at 22 :p.
I am an ear watcher, they lock on to things that we might make fun out of :p, a quiet 'don't even think about it' usually works then :p.
 
DD265 said:
A lot of people are talking about him respecting you - but make sure you also respect him. The day I stopped shouting at/hitting my Welsh Cob was the day he stopped being bargy. He's clever enough to know that he doesn't have to put up with cr*p from me so why should he?

Take a step back - relax - and spend a lot of time doing basic things in your comfort zone. Do groundwork, pole work (in hand or ridden), hack out. Do keep it interesting for both of you but you don't have to compete. One day you'll *want* to jump the fence or go do dressage and that's OK. But until then there is no need to push too hard.
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^^ This, fully agree. The moment I stopped 'fighting' everything my D did was the moment it all started coming together
 
DD265 said:
Take a step back - relax - and spend a lot of time doing basic things in your comfort zone. Do groundwork, pole work (in hand or ridden), hack out. Do keep it interesting for both of you but you don't have to compete. One day you'll *want* to jump the fence or go do dressage and that's OK. But until then there is no need to push too hard.
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THIS. This is the absolute key to enjoying and "Clicking" with any horse. You must enjoy spending time with them, being around them etc. They are supposed to be a best friend for you and you should be relaxed and chilled out in their company, not fighting with them. Horse riding for most people is a hobby and a lifestyle, both of which you are supposed to enjoy (It's too expensive not to enjoy it!) so I would say you need to do things that you actually enjoy at the moment rather than focusing on competing and jumping. You might enjoy it but I always feel that jumping requires a certain kind of partnership that doesn't always happen right away. Work on building up the trust that you have in each other by doing things that you both enjoy that you are both comfortable with then start thinking about new ways to challenge yourself and your pony. You haven't had your pony for that long at the moment so just take things slowly and focus on enjoying each day that you have together. You have a whole lifetime to compete and get out there :)
 
I agree with eveything that has been said above spend some time getting to know your horse properly and earning that mutual respect. If you have been away at boarding school then maybe he just needs some quality time with you without the pressure of shows to get to know you. You can't expect him to continue jumping at the level he was with a new, slightly nervous and possibly less experienced ride than he's used to. I also feel for you because a lot of us have been through a period of losing our confidence with jumping but if you can build a bond with your horse hopefully that will help to calm your nerves a bit and as others mentoned get some lessons with a good instructor :)

I also own a Welsh D cross she's only 3 so still a baby but they are very intelligent my girl won't put a foot wrong walking in hand with me but if my partner tries to walk her on she ignores him completely. He's been demoted to learning to lead the shetland haha!
 
If you can, go for working livery. It would allow you to have lessons with an experienced instructor and would allow him to have some new riders. Eventually that would give you three options: sell him, sell him specifically to the riding school, keep him.
 
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