Should I sell??

[phpony]

Ive had my horse 2 years and been managing with mild CFS (cronic fatigue syndrome) for all that time but recently my symptoms have become a lot worse and im finding myself struggling with both riding and the responsibilities of having a horse. Iv'e got from riding every day sometimes twice to one every week at the most when my horse needs regular exercise. I'm only 16 and I have know one that can help out with things. I try my best to do do every job but sometimes, which I feel awful about, my horse has to manage with a bit of straw chucked over last nights bedding instead of a new mucked out bed. Or sometimes he has to sit around waiting for me in the morning when I oversleep. I don't want to sell my horse I have spent a lot of time and work earning his trust. He keeps me happy and but I feel like he deserves better.
If you were in this situation what would you do?

 

[mightymammoth]

could you get a sharer or part loan to help you with him?

 

[Kaylum]

Loan him out and keep him where you are so you still have contact with him?

 

[midi]

I would keep him as I would feel I'd be off better with him than without ,
If its really becoming too much perhaps look into a sharer to take the workload off you?

 

[phpony]

could you get a sharer or part loan to help you with him?

The thing Is I can't. He was a project horse. He's been very difficult and although now he will trust others on the ground there is no possibility of letting anyone but myself ride him. We have tried it recently and he just sweats up gets very stressed and usually ends up dumping the rider.

 

[phpony]

Loan him out and keep him where you are so you still have contact with him?

The thing Is I can't. He was a project horse. He's been very difficult and although now he will trust others on the ground there is no possibility of letting anyone but myself ride him. We have tried it recently and he just sweats up gets very stressed and usually ends up dumping the rider.

 

[phpony]

I would keep him as I would feel I'd be off better with him than without ,
If its really becoming too much perhaps look into a sharer to take the workload off you?

Yes that's an idea. I would be able to get a sharer but the thing is they wouldn't be able to ride him as he doesn't let anyone bar me on him. He would most likely let them after he's bonded with them but I doubt anyone would like a horse that they couldn't ride for a few months ?

 

[Meandtheboys]

Can you not keep him out 24/7? this way you will feel less guilty not mucking out etc and less stressfull for you having to keep to a routine, this way you can ride and poo pick when you feel upto it.

 

[bmw]

Hi I also have chronic fatigue syndrome, I am doing well at the moment and manage to do all my jobs at the yard and ride everyday but when I first discovered I had it, about 3 1/2 years ago, I had a horse on part loan which I gave up. I was out of horses for a year and then I got my own, I wasn't fully recovered but I just couldn't not be down the yard any longer. Although I had problems with my horse I found being out in the fresh air everyday and just being around horses helped me get better. I have also spent a while gaining my horses trust and bringing him on and if I was having a bad day hearing him call to me as I pulled up outside his stable would instantly make me feel better. I was on tablets which I no longer need to take and I also had to have a lifestyle management session to help me plan my days so I didn't get tired. Feel free to PM me if you want to ask me anything I think you should keep hold of him xx

 

[mightymammoth]

The thing Is I can't. He was a project horse. He's been very difficult and although now he will trust others on the ground there is no possibility of letting anyone but myself ride him. We have tried it recently and he just sweats up gets very stressed and usually ends up dumping the rider.

If this is the case then he may not be that easy to sell? Can he not live out 24/7? Maybe look to move him to grass livery or where he can live out 24/7 to give you a breather.

I don't think I would sell him because if he's a little difficult I would be worried what may happen to him.

I think you should take the pressure off yourself a bit, I used to be the same feeling I had to ride/lunge everyday and get stressed out of I didn't. I now aim to ride twice a week if I don't its not the end of the world, in fact I last rode 2 weeks today and I'm fine with that.

 

[rosiecob]

I completely sympathise with you!!!
Please don't contemplate selling, there are always ways, I'm a great believer in "I'd there's a will, there's a way" a cliche I know but stick with it.
Your horse will keep you going and make you strive to make it through.
I speak from experience, I also have young children, I understand that there are varying degrees of the condition so no two are the same and I don't know how badly you suffer, all i do know is, sometimes the last thing I feel like doing, is Going out in the field to poo pick but my horse drives me!
I have a sharer who part loans too so this could be a way forward for you.
With M.E or Cfs as it is known, you need to stay driven, focused and stubborn to fight it all the way!
Your horse will give you all that but try and get some help too if you can.

 

[mulledwhine]

I understand fully, I also suffer, mine was brought on after contracting meningitis.

Ditto leave out if you can, our pony won't stay out at night, and I am having a bad attack of it ATM , so OH is having to fill my haynets ATM, I just about manged to skip out tonight and get his night time water.

I take the good with the bad, just do the bare minimum, when it is bad, your horse won't mind.

As you probably know, when it goes away you will feel full of beans, try and not let the attacks stop you from enjoying your horse.

Ps I have been at my worst this last week, and about to put myself to bed in a while.

Chin up hun

 

[cobmum]

I shared and couldnt ride as the horse was too old although i didnt pay anything. So it is possible to find someone like that!

If you were to sell i would go for a site like project horse and be very honest about him/her.

 

[phpony]

Hi I also have chronic fatigue syndrome, I am doing well at the moment and manage to do all my jobs at the yard and ride everyday but when I first discovered I had it, about 3 1/2 years ago, I had a horse on part loan which I gave up. I was out of horses for a year and then I got my own, I wasn't fully recovered but I just couldn't not be down the yard any longer. Although I had problems with my horse I found being out in the fresh air everyday and just being around horses helped me get better. I have also spent a while gaining my horses trust and bringing him on and if I was having a bad day hearing him call to me as I pulled up outside his stable would instantly make me feel better. I was on tablets which I no longer need to take and I also had to have a lifestyle management session to help me plan my days so I didn't get tired. Feel free to PM me if you want to ask me anything I think you should keep hold of him xx

Thankyou that was really helpfull. I will try and book an appoitment to get some sort of plan then and try to keep him, for as long as I can anyway. Thanks xx

 

[phpony]

I shared and couldnt ride as the horse was too old although i didnt pay anything. So it is possible to find someone like that!

If you were to sell i would go for a site like project horse and be very honest about him/her.

Yes I guess I could try find someone like that and they certainly wouldn't have to pay anything.

 

[phpony]

I understand fully, I also suffer, mine was brought on after contracting meningitis.

Ditto leave out if you can, our pony won't stay out at night, and I am having a bad attack of it ATM , so OH is having to fill my haynets ATM, I just about manged to skip out tonight and get his night time water.

I take the good with the bad, just do the bare minimum, when it is bad, your horse won't mind.

As you probably know, when it goes away you will feel full of beans, try and not let the attacks stop you from enjoying your horse.

Ps I have been at my worst this last week, and about to put myself to bed in a while.

Chin up hun

Yeah thanks, I think ive just had a bad week which is why I wrote this but there are some days were I don't struggle with him at all. I will try and sort out some sort of plan to structure my work and rest. Thankyou

 

[D5edon]

I think there are many people out there who would be happy to share and not ride - I was one of those people - just being around horses is what some people want. Only today where I was working someone asked if I kept my horses close by as their wife just like being around horses and enjoyed mucking out and grooming them. Sadly I lived too far away:-(

 

[phpony]

I think there are many people out there who would be happy to share and not ride - I was one of those people - just being around horses is what some people want. Only today where I was working someone asked if I kept my horses close by as their wife just like being around horses and enjoyed mucking out and grooming them. Sadly I lived too far away:-(

That would be great to find. Do you have any idea were I could advertise?

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

I would keep the horse if you can.its a motivation to get up and out the house. If you swap to aubiose bedding you only have to take out the poo, which is all on top, then dig out the wet when you can and fill in the hole with fresh bedding. I left it for a month once, was fine. Lunge with no saddle or gadgets its less effort than tacking up to ride and no need to groom just pick hooves. Hay on the floor if you can't manage a net and a complete feed eg Equilibrium so you don't have to stir it. For your energy levels - routine, little and often and consistency is the way forward. If you try too much to catch up on things when you feel better, you risk ending up in an all or nothing cycle, getting steadily worse. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[mightymammoth]

That would be great to find. Do you have any idea were I could advertise?

what area do you live in? someone may know someone?

 

[jaijai]

Hi phpony,
I am bmw's mum.
I don't know what help if any you are getting with your CFS but we have lots of info which may be useful to you. I now that there is not much help available on the good old NHS - they told my daughter to think positive , eat plenty of fruit and veg, take lots of exercise and go to bed early!!!
We then discovered a brilliant consultant whom she saw privately and it made such a huge difference to her.
I know what an awful condition it can be to live with and would be happy to offer any help or support. PM me if you would like.

 

[Queenofdiamonds]

If money is not an issue, Could you not advertise for help with stable chores, Have them get to know him from the ground, school him on the lunge etc, and if all goes well progress to a part loan agreement later on?

I help a lady out with her mares and one of them has only been broken in for a few months and its taken a couple of months now for me to be able to ride her in any sort of fashion, She was not keen the first time i got on her, She sort of staggered around the school in walk wondering why on earth her owner was on the ground.

I've spent time with her and rode her the other day and after a few listening exercises she went quite nicely for me x

 

[D5edon]

That would be great to find. Do you have any idea were I could advertise?

Well word of mouth is a good place to start. Preloved can be ok as it's locally based and if you specify you are looking for a volunteer to help you out. Sometimes places where people who don't have horses would look, like newsagents although be prepared to have people who want to help but don't know anything about horses. Volunteer bureaux too.

 

[D5edon]

Well word of mouth is a good place to start. Preloved can be ok as it's locally based and if you specify you are looking for a volunteer to help you out. Sometimes places where people who don't have horses would look, like newsagents although be prepared to have people who want to help but don't know anything about horses. Volunteer bureaux too.

Forgot to say though that even those who don't know about horses can learn fast - just might need some supervision initially.

 

[canteron]

Poor you, I dont (fingers crossed) have any medical problems but still sometimes struggle with the day to day commitments of a horse - I think we all do at times.

Could you take the pressure off yourself by promising to give up riding in September and putting the horse out 24/7 and not riding again till March. The horse really won't care if he isn't ridden and maybe if you don't spend so much money over the Winter you could afford to spend a little on having some help during the Summer?

If you keep him the trick is to find a management routine you can both cope with! (ps if he is stressy maybe being out 24/7 would suit him better anyway?).