Should I stay...?

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lilyoftheincas

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I've been riding at my yard for 5 and a half years, it's a busy and commercial stables but I've fallen in love with most of the ponies over the years.
My problem is, is that I have zero friends there, most people there are loud and unfriendly and have completely opposite personalities to me (I'm quite quiet and shy). If you don't keep your horse there, or you're not there practically 24/7, you're made to feel out of place and unwanted. I feel like a bit of a loner and an idiot sometimes to be quite honest. All of my friends are completely un-horsey so there's no possibility of them coming to ride with me.
If I left, there would be nowhere else for me to ride, and as I've ridden nearly all of the ponies, I would undoubtedly miss them. I don't know what to do? Any advice would be helpful :(
 
If you love riding then it's a simple decision. You said there was nowhere else for you to ride if you left, if so then don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable there! If you really love riding then it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks, I wouldn't give up horses for anyone!
Hope you work it out though :)
 
Princess Jess said:
If you love riding then it's a simple decision. You said there was nowhere else for you to ride if you left, if so then don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable there! If you really love riding then it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks, I wouldn't give up horses for anyone!
Hope you work it out though :)
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Could not agree more. If you have no alternative then don't give it up. Is there really no where else at all?

It sounds like you need to be more confident and comfortable in yourself.
I would not give up horses for anyone as PJ says, don't let the likes of other people rule your life or the path you want to take, life is too short to have regrets and it sounds like you love your riding. Good luck and dont give up
 
If you have no where else i would stay as they shouldnt make you stop riding.

Not sure how old you are but is there any way you could have a word with yo or yard manager so they can keep an eye on things and have a word if needed?

Riding is meant to be fun after all and they shouldnt be able to stop you enjoying it.

Unfortunately though most yards seem to have "cliques" that you have to fulfil certain "criteria" to be in. Or ones where there is a "Queen Bee" and then various admirers. I tend to ignore and just enjoy my time with the horse. Long hacks are good as you can get away from them!
 
Things change and cliques come and go. You never know what is around the courner. Someone really lovely could be looking to move in very soon?
I'd stand my ground and carry on as normal. They sound quite young. As they mature they'll probably respect you for it.
 
I never go to the yard to see the people and hate it when I have to run the gauntlett of "hello, hello, hello" just to get to my horse. I hate it when I am doing my horse and someone comes and hassels me. I hate it when I am mucking out and someone with some bloody personal problem traps me in my stable to have a moan- it's not like I can run because I need to get my horse done. You are probably better off without them talking to you. Ignore them and stay.

It's not that I am antisocial- but I just like my time with my horse and want to do the socializing bit on my terms- not have it thrust upon me. One yard I was at I would have to listen to a tally of the YO's housework before I could get to my horse. Really FASINATING after a 10 hour day and still no dinner yet! I think that one was particulary nuts though. She had a vet livery and I trapped one day and if she actually knew the looks we were giving each other in response to the fascinating housework narration!
 
Could you advertise for a share horse. If you have been riding for so long you are probably ready to move on.

There are a lot of people around who would welcome someone to ride their horses one or more days a week if they are prepared to make a financial contribution or help with the jobs. It might be more rewarding for you. I bet there are livery yards near you, even if there are not any other riding schools.
 
Your going there for horse company not human. If they can't be bothered to be nice just let them get on with being mean to each other (horsey cliques are notoriously b*tchy). Enjoy your riding & don't worry about them.
 
Don't give up something you love just because some people are misery guts!!! If you genuinely love the yard and ponies don't give up. Like others have said though, it sounds like you need to be a bit more confident. I know how you feel as I am quiet and shy in many situations but if you chatted to some of the girls you might find them friendlier than you think?

Another thing, if you are really unhappy up there but no where else to ride ( presuming you go to a riding school) why not put some adverts up in your local tack/feed shops etc seeing if anyone wants help with their horses? I did this when I was 14 and ended up helping a lovely lady with hers... And I got to go to shows, rude more etc

There are always options :-)
 
Sounds just like me a few years ago! Although I've been there the longest by far, none of the girls who ride there really liked me and I certainly wasn't one of the 'cool kids'. They used to ignore me out on hacks and group together and say I was on the naughty horse, even though the YO had written me down as being on my favourite. They got to ride there all the time and because I was young and couldn't drive, I could only go once a week. The worst time was when I'd texted the YO to ask if I could come and ride and I got the reply "No, all the horses are being used. Go away" now, that's not like her at ALL! She's never rude to me, even if all the horses are being used. Turns out the nasty girl on the yard had got hold of her phone, replied and deleted my message. The horses weren't all being used at all, infact she would have loved me to come and ride! She was found out because she hadn't deleted her reply and was told to be nice to me (and everyone else) or she would no longer be welcome.
Her attitude and the rest of her gang changed a bit, but one by one they left and the ones that stayed turned out to actually be really nice.

Sorry to ramble, but the point I'm trying to make is perhaps try to carry on regardless of how nasty these girls are. Don't let them drive you away from the ponies you love. Is there a special pony you have a bond with there? That helped me :) When Neddy arrived it was just as the last few nasty girls were leaving or changing their mind about me and I think Neddy helped me to get over their comments :)

I really hope you can find a solution! *hugs*
 
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