Should I wait for 'the one'???

Batgirl

Batgirl

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Been to see a horse today, it is 16'2, very green at 6 though reasons for this and I want something green but really wanted a 4/5 yo. He felt nice, rode nicely, jumped, did everything fine, OK paces, a bit fat, open to vet etc etc. Nothing particularly wrong with him but I just don't feel 'it'???

Am I bonkers?
 
Nope you're not at all :) i know how you feel :) when i was looking for a share horse i went to see a few, 2 behaved absolutely perfect, but i just didn't feel anything, my brain was going 'nice horse, moves lovely, behaved very well, but its not for me' i finally ended up with a fresh off the track tb that napped really badly and bucked, but there was something there :) if i were you, i'd wait for that feeling :) good luck!
 
I have actually done this so many times. I think people are beginning to despair! But I feel like its a big commitment and if I don't really really want to make it I'm worried I will resent it. Go with your gut I think... but then I'm still horseless so its got me nowhere so far!x
 
It's probably like choosing a OH... May not tick all the boxes you thought you wanted ticking but you'll "just know"

I was thinking I was after a chestnut Arab when I came across this black mostly shire mare that had been left in a field... I fell in love and never looked back.
 
not stalking you honest :o


but you're not bonkers at all....you should definitely wait for 'the one'....i knew my boy was 'the one' before i knew he was for sale.


I blame sister act 2 for my boy (as i wasnt really looking to buy), but its true and i stick to it. Whoopi says to one of the school kids about singing 'If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think about anything else but singing, then you should be a singer'.....well i went to bed thinking about my boy, dreamt about him and woke up thinking about him......and i KNEW (although there were a few reasons why i shouldnt) that he was the one.


But most likely this just makes me bonkers......im sure most normal people dont live their lives by sister act philosophy:rolleyes::D
 
If you dont feel it dont buy it!

I would buy a horse (thats for me personally) that wasnt just what I wanted. I dont really like to 'settle' for anything. Same as I wouldnt be in a relationship with someone I didnt like that much just 'until I find someone better' :D

Its a big commitment getting a horse, it might as well be the right one. Even if its just waiting for that 'the one' feeling. Yes you might buy it and it might end up being 'the one', or it might mean you have a horse you look at for the next X years, and just think 'meh' every time you look at it.
It might mean waiting longer and looking further, but why would you settle?
 
I think it depends what you've already had.

It hasn't been the same for me buying my new horse as I had to sell a youngster last year that I'd had since a weanling and that sort of bond is so so strong.

I bought this horse mainly with my head, not my heart, but after just a month I'm starting to feel such a strong bond, especially as we have started to work through a few hiccups together and I know that this boy won't be going anywhere. It's not like having a foal, but it's right and the relationship will develop.

But I think only you will know what is right for you! And there are some horses that definitely wouldn't appeal to me no matter how perfect they were.
 
Just having nothing wrong with him isn't enough of a reason to buy him IMO. There has to be something you take to. I didn't think "wow" when I saw my horse on the yard, I thought, "hmmm, I'm not sure he's even 14.2 :rolleyes: " :D But I like chestnuts, he was cute, sounded like he ticked lots of boxes and had good conformation so I saw him ridden. Just thought, "yeah, that's all right, maybe a bit less horsepower than ideal". Rode him and I just couldn't stop myself smiling. He was so funny, and felt so safe and easy. So I bought him, and i love him and I still get the same feeling from riding him (when he's in work), he just makes me smile.

Yeah, I think if you didn't particularly take to him in looks or riding, say no, keep looking, you can do better. :cool:
 
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Wait for the one - its the 'I must have him' feeling you get. I saw some lovely horses but they didn't do it for me.
My 'horse of a lifetime' - I saw when I was out looking for horses with a friend - I had to have him and I wasn't even out looking. He was a complete nightmare but after the first 6 months there was no looking back. 22 years later it broke my heart to lose him. Gut feeling is everything.
My new boy is gorgeous - but when I look at his photo of how he looked 9 months ago when I bought him, I'm not sure why I did. But I am having so much fun and no regrets.
 
your not mad - I looked at loads of horses when I was looking (some of which had nothing wrong with them at all and would have been okay but just didn't feel right) when I first saw my lad he was being led in from the field and I knew he was the one before I even sat on him. The right one will come along!
 
I'm sort of the same... though via pictures.

I can look through loads of adverts of horses then one will just grab me. Generally when this happens i will go-see-buy.

Although going against this I now have youngster who is very very special to me. A lady was selling of a few of her horses, so I enquired about one, I had seen my youngsters advert and asked a little bit about him, but wasn't hugely excited by him. Anyway... nothing happened and she was readvertised again this time when I saw his picture (same pictures used) I looked and thought wow - love him. Went to see him and now he is my star in the making... moral of this sometimes its worth giving a horse a second chance to steal your heart. Sometimes when we look our head may be switched on but for some reason our heart may not be as open on the day.
 
definately wait until you find one that makes you say 'i must have it!'

When I was looking, I wanted something 5-10 years, about 15hh and laid back, I ended up with a 14yr 16.1 nutball but I love him to bits and the funny thing is, he has given the confidence to have a go at things I would never have tried before, yet he is the nuttiest I have owned. Funny how some things just click.
 
If its his character that you feel just isnt going to gell with yours, then I d not buy him. However, you might find in time a connection that turns you intio a great partnership.
We are very lucky if we find 'the one' very often. I ve only had 2 'the one' s .The first was bought from a polaroid snap , and he became my perfect horse for 11 years. Cheerful and willing character , sensible hunter , great show horse , allround saint. Unfortunatrly heart trouble meant he didnt live beyond 20.
I d been looking for 3 yrs on and off for my next One before he was found.
Second 'the one' was chosen on his conformation , and it took about 2 yrs to really get to where we both knew eachother enough for mutual respect![ he s a mans horse really] However, all the work I did paid off and 15 yrs later he is here , retired, having been a wonderful horse for me and hubby - but never sensible enough to trust with novice riders
Finding a third 'the one' has remained elusive .... I m on my third attempt , and get on fine with my young boy, but its just not quite the same.Perhaps I m jusdt too picky.....
 
I've just bought another horse and I wasn't sure I would find "the one", all I knew was that every time I tried something, it just wasn't right. With one, I got off within 5 mins of getting on as I just *knew* I didn't like it and never would. I hadn't even seen a photo of the horse I've bought, he belonged to someone I knew who mentioned to me that he thought the horse would suit me so I went along. Didn't particularly like him when I saw him in the stable, thought he was distinctly average when I watched him ridden. I got on and thought he was alright but wasn't struck... after 15/20 mins I was going to get off and the seller persuaded me to have a jump on him. I initially said no, don't like him, but they convinced me and I loved him. My main criteria when looking for a new horse was that it must be honest and genuine to jump - this horse just gave me such a lovely feeling into and over a fence, I was grinning all over :) Went back the next day to hack him, cantered in a field in company then schooled and jumped again. I knew he needed (needs) loads of work on his schooling and he is much greener than I set out to get (I wanted an approx. 8yo 15.2hh-ish ISH type which had evented... what I bought was a just 15hh 5yo VERY green Connie x that has only hunted in Ireland...) but there was something about him that I liked. Can't put my finger on it, he's just ace. He's been home now for nearly a month and I'm absolutely delighted with him. Yes he is very green and needs lots of educating but he learns quickly, has a great attitude and I'm sure that in 12 months' time I'm going to have a fab little horse :D

So I would say yes, wait until you've found something you really like. And don't limit your search to what you think you're looking for... I sat on a few of the type of horse I *thought* I was looking for and didn't like any of them!
 
You will know when it's 'the one'. If you are looking for a keeper, don't settle for anything less. I looked at so many horses before I bought my mare. I began to think I couldn't really want another horse, because I felt so dead inside about all of them. I don't even know why I went to see my mare. I wanted a gelding, and not 'boring bay'. But something told me to travel the three hours to see something that I definitely didn't want! When I saw her, I knew instantly I wanted her. Even when I went in her stable and realised that no way was she 16 hands as the seller had said she was. I am 5'10 and need a tall horse. She was very up at the front but still only stood 15.3 hh at the withers and more like 15.1 hh at the croup. But that didn't put me off. I bought her and never regretted it to this day. She is now happily retired in my field. Sadly, earlier than I would have liked at only age 15, but I still love her every bit as much and we had ten years of fun together.
 
I'd definitely wait for 'the one'.

When I bought my boy I thought I'd be sensible and buy a horse that ticked all the right boxes so I did. He was a nice enough chap, we did have fun but we never really clicked into a proper partnership.

Someone else on the yard was selling their horse and some prospective owners came to have a look. They happened to see me riding my lad and expressed an interest and I sold him to them. When he went it was no longer having a horse that I lamented, not no longer having him.

Next time I'm going with my heart not my head!!
 
Batgirl said:
Been to see a horse today, it is 16'2, very green at 6 though reasons for this and I want something green but really wanted a 4/5 yo. He felt nice, rode nicely, jumped, did everything fine, OK paces, a bit fat, open to vet etc etc. Nothing particularly wrong with him but I just don't feel 'it'???

Am I bonkers?
Click to expand...

WAIT!

I've had it with two horses. My current is the polar opposite of what I was looking for but I knew she was mine. When the right one comes along your heart won't let you question whether to buy it or not :)

Pan
 
Definitely wait for the one!!!!

I knew when I walked into my horse's stable before I even sat on him. I fell completely in love with his personality and his manner. I wanted an older allrounder who had done everything... I bought a 4 year old who had done next to nothing, but he has the loveliest attitude to life and every day he is a joy to be around!!

It's a partnership for life so dont "settle" for anything less, even if you cant put your finger on it, something has to click!!
 
Definitely wait for 'the one'. After my last boy died 5 years ago I was desperate to get another horse but the OH kept telling me it was not the right time. As it turned out we moved from Oz back to London so he was right. I had a very specific list of requirements for my new 'for life' horse and found a few that ticked all the boxes and more but even so they didn't seem quite right.
Out of the blue I came across an advert on a little known website for a horse that was the wrong age, colour, breed and was too green for my liking with photos that were less than flattering. Something told me it was worth my while to make the 6 hour drive to view him. I arrived and as soon as I saw him from a distance I got a strange feeling. I had a less than impressive test ride and had I gone with my head wouldn't have given him a second glance, however my heart was telling me don't let this one go. 3 months later and I wouldn't part with him for the world. He is a horse in a million. We have bonded incredibly well. I get so many comments from all and sundry on what a magnificent horse he is and how well behaved he is for his age. Apart from the initial settling in stage he has not put a foot wrong and is a joy to own and ride.
Strange as it seems I feel he found me rather than the other way around. My OH keeps reminding me that had I got a horse 5 years ago I would never had ended up with my beautiful big Bob.
 
Sometimes the horse that you look back at most fondly isn't the one that gave you an instant feeling of wow, I've got to buy you!

With my chestnut gelding for example, I really struggled to decide whether or not I should buy him. I'm sure that my old posts from when I was dithering about him are around somewhere.

Now, I can't imagine not having him and I'm so glad that I gave him a chance and went back to view him again. However it wasn't until I'd owned him for a couple of months that I realised just how much I like him - bless his three wonky socks. ;)
 
I am going to give you both sides of the argument ;-)

I found my horse of a lifetime when I was not looking but went along with a friend to see a horse she was interested in (I just wanted an afternoon out!). She tried him and did not like him. I was in love as soon as I set eyes on him and ended up trying him out in a pair of cut off jeans, chiffon blouse and a pair of borrowed joddie boots! As soon as I sat on him I just knew I had to have him, got off him, handed him back to his owner, burst into tears and called my mum to ask if she could give me a temporary loan of the purchase price.

He was an ex racer, big, bolshy and bright bay all the things I would never have considered had I been looking seriuously for myself but I adored him and had the best riding years of my life with him.

With Vardi my OH bought him for me and my first sighting of him was a bum high spotty 3 year old coming off a trailer. I was in plaster at the time so a youngster was the last thing I wanted and I dislike loud coloured horses so it was not an ideal start!

However over time I have grown to adore this horse we have had lots of ups and downs, he has had a bad accident and we have needed to take our time, it has been 3 steps forward and 2 back for 4 years now, but I know that give us some growing time and we will make a great team.....I love the bones of this horse and he is going nowhere!

So yes sometimes you feel it like a huge whump! and othertimes it creeps up on you and you find yourself oneday looking at this horse you have felt unsure of for ages and suddenly you feel overwhelming love and contentment.

I am not sure which is the best way ;-)
 
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From someone who has ridden far too many horses - wait.
You can get a very nice working relationship with a horse and have a lot of fun.
Then again you can get a fantastic bond with a horse and fly. ;)
 
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