Should we buy another one?

[frostyfingers]

I count myself as an experienced, pretty fearless and capable rider and owner but over the last few months have had to rethink my opinion and seek help! I bought a new horse in December from a busy hunting yard, previously he had been eventing and have spent the last few months sorting both of us out. As someone mentioned upthread he's used to being in a crowd and is a fab hunter but is deeply insecure on his own. I have a companion pony and that's it so it's been a big change for him and we are slowly getting there but even now hacking alone is "interesting". He's not actively naughty as such, just unsure of himself and reacts by whipping round and half rearing, but with help and patience is learning that he's safe out in the big bad world on his own. He does not respect me on the ground (yet) and it more than happy to tow me around or half rear if he doesn't fancy doing something. I have help with this and am confident it will be sorted but there have been times when I've asked myself what the hell am I doing, and when I've been frightened of him.

My point is that if I were a novice/beginner he would have scared me sideways, quite possibly dumped me and trodden on me and hurt me - no way would I be keeping him, no matter how much I love him. The person helping me said that we must never forget that being around horses can be incredibly dangerous and you can get seriously hurt. Owning horses is meant to be fun.

 

[risky business]

Sorry to hijack but am I the only one whose brain does an involuntary spoonerism with this username?

No your not the only one

 

[LinzyD]

It's important to remember that horses, like people, are different in different situations. One or two people have said that the horse was possibly wrongly described/advertised/sold. Not necessarily. It's quite likely that in his previous home and at the dealer's yard he was much more secure - with lots of other horses and confident, experienced handlers and riders - and in that situation did indeed seem the perfect horse for novice riders, but once out of that situation, as a sole horse, with less experienced owners, he is, as said above, deeply insecure. No-one could have known that would be the case. From how Arthur is described I'd wager that he's a 'follower' type of horse, desperate for a leader in every sense.

OP, the 'right' horse for any owner has to fit the whole situation, not only the owner's specific riding ability and knowledge. No-one can know for sure how any new situation is going to suit a particular horse; but once it is clear not only that the horse is not suitable for you, but also that the situation is not suitable for the horse, you owe it to the horse to do what is right for him.

 

[fatpiggy]

I've not looked at this thread for a couple of days so have just done a catch up. I'm confused - if that is him in the advert, how come it says 16.2hh when the OP says he is 17hh. Looking at the picture, I would doubt he was that big. I wouldn't say he has a lot of ID in him either. The backside comes from a cheap cob, the front end may have some ID in it. As someone else has said he has probably just come across from Ireland and could be just about anything. I wouldn't guarantee his age either. I'm quite surprised he wasn't advertised as an Irish Sports Horse because that is a complete catch-all and sounds good but often isn't. I knew a full ID who was a grade B showjumper and his VERY experienced owner used to hunt him in the winter. Even she complained he was a lunatic behind hounds and without gloves her hands would have been shredded. And he was in his teens by that time. I hacked him out a few times and he was certainly very strong and keen but as he was on his own he stayed manageable. He also enjoyed putting in a buck on landing after a jump so you soon learned to sit back PDQ. He was used in the RS occasionally but only with experienced riders. He wasn't nasty either and could be a right old softy on the ground.

TBH, if I was in the OPs shoes, I would not be keeping this horse. You could have bought a good steady cob , a whole new set of tack and rugs and still had change left over. The fact he has done showjumping and dressage means nothing. That could have been the clear round and prelim 10 at the local pony club show. No riding school would have paid that for him and I doubt many private buyers would either; way overpriced.

You must take off your sentimental hat and put on a logical one. If you keep him you are going to have spend a small fortune in fees for having him checked out by a vet/physio, frequent lessons for both yourself and your husband from a really good instructor, if not a period of schooling with a professional first. He has already cost you a bomb, could have cost both you and your husband your lives, and all the remedial work - you could easily be looking at £15K in total. Is he REALLY worth that? At least ask a good experienced horseman to come in and assess him with an open mind.

 

[only_me]

I think OP you should sell the horse. It's not the right one for you & frankly I wouldn't want to get back on a horse that bolted so hard that I had to bailout onto road = broken hip. Even try and exchange the horse for another with the dealer.

If you really really don't want to sell then you have a few possibilities - retire to field, loan to a hunting home or even move him to a riding school so he gets a lot more work in a safe environment & you can have regular lessons on him.

The problem with sending to a pro rider is that it's all very well if they can control the horse - but you still won't be able to as your riding won't be the same standard.

In all honesty, I would be selling the horse. If he is not good to hack which is what you want to do, then what is the point of keeping him?

 

[goldenchestnut]

Would like to know if OP is still reading and what she is thinking of doing now that she has had so much good advice.

 

[Dave's Mam]

Would like to know if OP is still reading and what she is thinking of doing now that she has had so much good advice.

I was thinking the very same thing.

 

[skint1]

I think it's probably not as cut and dried from where the OP is standing, in her mind the horse is good on the ground and good "most of the time" to ride and she's become attached to him. Rightly or wrongly, it's easy for the heart to justify what it wants- but hopefully there is food for thought.

 

[Charmel]

My Horse is a ISH 18 hands and used to be used as a hunting hireling until he was 11. When I first bought him he was fine to hack in company and then one day out alone a stupid motorcross bike brushed passed him and he bolted with me and luckily we were on a small lane and I managed to turn him into a very high stone wall. Very scary not having control for me and him. All fine for a while then it happened again when a small child jumped out from behind a hedge and said BOO....Again stopped as a large physical barrier to stop him. However I did decide then to do a few things.... short journeys hacking alone to begin close to home, changed from snaffle to Pelham for hacking only, desensitized to the obvious threats using very sane companion out on longer hacks, Turned on farm machinery, placed scary objects in the safety of the arena I did this for the first 6 months. For me this worked and he is very laid back and I have now had him three years ... Just because he hunted in company for years doesn't mean good to hack. My horse had to learn to trust ME and he had never had a regular rider before just passengers. However I have had horses all my life and he is one of 10 so I have lots of experience, if my efforts had failed and he spooked and bolted a third time I would have sold him back to life he was used to for his own sake and for the safety of me and other road users. Maybe a experienced happy hacker would be more suited to you. otherwise stay off the road and ride in an arena only.....however can still bolt in an arena x country etc but less chance of yours or his injury.....

 

[el_Snowflakes]

I think the incident just shows you are completely overhorsed. Sell him to someone who won't bat an eyelid at his spooks etc & buy something you can enjoy with relative peace of mind.

 

[RedDevlin]

I've been in OP's shoes. With a horse that I bought untouched from the field, broke myself and brought on over three years. He wasnt for me, there were times where I could ride him tackless in a field or hack in a rope halter. But then there were the other times, the ones that made me cry and want to send him for glue. But those other times, that werent so rosy were enough for me to know that he wasn't for me. It's easy to think the world is a bad place, and no one but oneself could possibly look after the animal quite the way you do, no one could possibly love it, or fix it... but I took the risk. Was completely honest, and found a home with a ballsy teenager that loves him for his quirks...the same quriks that scared the pants off me! And he is absolutely thriving. He's happy, really happy! At some point sense has to give way to pride and contemplate the safety of yourself, the horse and the public/bystanders in these decisions.

 

[ArthursMam]

Update....

Thanks for all your comments. Some helpful, others not so but you come to expect that from the experts hiding behind a computer screen.

The original horse, who's got kicked to death by you all is now completely settled, an absolute dream on the ground and in the saddle. Will be mine forever. So before the catty comments begin that he wouldn't be sellable anyway, well we don't have to worry about that do we?

The second horse that you thought would be a stupid idea is also remarkable. A real horse of a lifetime.

The husband is fixed. Back in the saddle and loving his new horsey world

Insistently, for the person who labelled my horse as a cheap cob. He's not. And if he was.... So what? What did such a snobby opinion have in any relevance to the question asked?

To the person who took offence to my username. Please see above!!!

To the tenfold of you who scrutinised the sales advert of Arthur and felt it necessary to tell me if been conned. Again, helpful, thanks for that. Turns out he's worth a million pounds.

To the minority who were kind at what was obviously an very stressful time I thank you. To those who sent me private messages offering help, again thank you.

It's taken almost 4 months for me to get the courage to log back on and face the slander that I'd expected had been written about me. Turns out I wasn't as bothered as I thought I would be. The majority of you have proved yourself to be know it all bullies who love a drama. Might I suggest you get out of your huddle in the tack room and go and cuddle your horse. Look into their eyes and see if they see any good in your soul. May take a while.

This will be my last ever post and the last time I log on. Please feel free to bitch amongst yourselves, your future comments will have no impact on me.

Much love

Arthur's Mam

 

[AmyMay]

Excellent news.

 

[rachk89]

Glad the horses and your husband are fine. I wouldn't let people on here stop you posting but that is your choice.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I'm so pleased for you and your hubby.
You have to have a thick skin on these forums lol. I've had a fair amount of criticism on here but I've learned to take from it what I can and ignore the rest.
There are some lovely people on here and the written word can be tricky.

 

[rowan666]

Fabulous news! Congrats and well done! Did you call in a proffesional to help or just get another to help him settle?
we need pics of smiley happy faces on well behaved horses!

 

[skint1]

Good for you for being brave and consistent enough to get on top of the issues you were having with your boy, it's not easy to step it up and overcome the nerves and everything. Glad your second horse has also turned out well. How lucky for you and your hubby!

 

[sunnyone]

If you are asking, will your horse learn from another? Of course hé will. Finding thé confidence giver is another story. Thé last thing you néed is two bolters.

Whilst your husband recovers I suggest you continue riding out with your friend, as before. And get thé instructor in, perhaps changing some of the tack to give you better control.
Then when husband is fitter start looking for another. No idea what type. We had a brilliant combination of TB who was superb in traffic of all sorts but hated open spaces, together with an IDX who would jump at white lines on the road! Between them though they went anywhere without incident, if one led the other followed sensibly.
Glass of whisky to you both in the meanwhile.

 

[luckyoldme]

lovely update op.
Well done for all your hard work, I hope you have many years of happy hacking with your boy.. you deserve it!







Common sense can make up for a lack of knowledge in a lot of cases

 

[sunnyone]

I should withdraw this post. I only saw 3 pages. Not 17.
Glad everything worked out. You can still have the whiskies to enjoy.

 

[Annagain]

Glad it's all worked out and he's settled.

I think you meant me with the username - I wasn't referring to your username, I was referring to "wishfilly" who had posted a response. My juvenile mind still switches the w and the f around and it STILL makes me laugh. Very daft I know.