Should you feel a 'spark' when you find the right horse?

[Miss_Millie]

I'm shopping at the mo for my first horse and have viewed several so far. I was besotted on the spot with one that wasn't right for me so did the sensible thing and walked away, there have been some others which ticked all of the boxes but I didn't feel that 'spark' as a first impression. I'm wondering if this is idealistic, because surely it takes a long time to really get to know and love a horse. It took me a year or so to really click with a past share horse.

Maybe I'm just overthinking it as I want to get it right. Any thoughts?

 

[Flame_]

It really matters to me. I've never warmed enough to the horses I bought just because they ticked the boxes and didn't do anything wrong. Now I will only buy the ones I love at first sight from a photo and description, and that have presence at the viewing. Even then it takes me over a year to get attached. I think, keep looking unless you're the kind of person who can grow to love a horse just because it operates well.

 

[Miss_Millie]

It really matters to me. I've never warmed enough to the horses I bought just because they ticked the boxes and didn't do anything wrong. Now I will only buy the ones I love at first sight from a photo and description, and that have presence at the viewing. Even then it takes me over a year to get attached. I think, keep looking unless you're the kind of person who can grow to love a horse just because it operates well.

Thank you for sharing your experience, I wonder if I'm that way inclined too. It isn't even an aesthetic thing for me, more so to do with if the horse is giving me a 'vibe' that makes me feel like I want to spend all of my days with it. There was one that I very much got this feeling with instantly, but for other reasons it sadly was not the right horse for me. Hopefully if I look long enough I'll find the right one.

 

[Spotherisk]

Many of us are one horse owners, it’s incredibly important to like or love or spark with your horse.

 

[splashgirl45]

i think you have to like a horse when you view, i was looking for a bay gelding with no white on his legs about 15 to 15,2hands and ended up with a liver chestnut mare with one white sock, the only thing right was that she was 15.2... however she was really too much horse for me at that time, 20 years earlier i would have loved the challenge..i liked my loan horse but it took me a year to love her, she was bigger than i wanted but was a fabulous,forward going, safe ride, which was what i should have bought..

 

[Miss_Millie]

Many of us are one horse owners, it’s incredibly important to like or love or spark with your horse.

Yes totally agree, the horse I buy will be with me for life which is why I am thinking maybe the 'spark' is quite important.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

It's definitely not essential IME. With my gelding I didn't have that 'spark' but he needed a home and there was space for him here. I did always like him though, it just wasn't 'that's the one for me' (at first sight) like it was with my mares. Now I've owned him for about 10 years (how did that happen?) and I can't imagine being without him, I completely adore him.

 

[splashgirl45]

the spark is important but not more than your safety. you may have to compromise on your tick list to get the horse that gives you that special feeling, maybe wrong height,colour,sex etc....good luck with your search

 

[Equi]

I wouldn’t call it a spark but I definitely had a sense of confidence when I let my boy, which for me is everything. If I didn’t feel confident with a horse it wouldn’t matter how much I loved it’s personality.

 

[Catbird]

Difficult. I went to see my horse after obsessing about his photo - just kept scrolling back! I tried him and when I sat on him, it all felt 'right'. He didn't tick many boxes but something just clicked. If I'm honest though, we're not right for each other....yet.... I'm hoping we'll get there as he will be everything I want, but at the moment he's a bit inexperienced. I've accepted that I'm not necessarily the right person to teach him so I've got a lot of help. I'm persevering as I'm hoping we'll get there, but part of me does think I should have been more sensible as the last 7 months would have been much easier!!
Waffley answer because time will tell for me!!

 

[Miss_Millie]

It's definitely not essential IME. With my gelding I didn't have that 'spark' but he needed a home and there was space for him here. I did always like him though, it just wasn't 'that's the one for me' (at first sight) like it was with my mares. Now I've owned him for about 10 years (how did that happen?) and I can't imagine being without him, I completely adore him.

This has been at the back of my mind too - maybe it takes time for the spark or that click to happen.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

This has been at the back of my mind too - maybe it takes time for the spark or that click to happen.

He is one that you need to build a relationship with, you need to earn his trust (he's a bit head shy) and that takes time. He's more of a slow burner and I don't think that's of any less value compared to horses that you click with quickly.

 

[bouncing_ball]

I bought all 3 horses I had on loan. I’m not sure I’d have bought any of them on first viewing but they all grew on me.

My least successful outright purchase ticked every box, passed 5 stage vetting, had 2 more experienced friends and my trainer at 2 viewings (and I was competing at BD medium at the time).

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

I went to see a pony that a friend had backed at her yard.

From the description she was everything but everything I'd said I didn't want i.e. pony, mare, coloured, hairy/feathers, youngster. You name it! I only went as there was another horse for sale and thought it might suit me!

This little sprat came up to me and nuzzled my neck with her breath. Dunno how it happened but I ended up bringing her home and she's been the best purchase I ever made.

With my previous horses, there was always "something". Can't define it, but there was somehow that special feeling that I couldn't just walk away. One of my previous horses even ended up looking over the gate in one of my fields overnight!! A livery's partner had bought him as a project to sell on and they'd shoved him in the field as hoped I wouldn't mind. I didn't!! Ended up buying him, he was a real sweetie.

Another came on winter loan from a trekking centre and I couldn't bear to send him back! The blighter was as quirky as a box of frogs and yet he taught me such a lot and I loved him to bits. During the last year of his life I managed to track down a previous owner - who told me that she had taught him to rear!! I'm glad I learnt that, it made me feel so very much better that it wasn't anything I'd done that had made him do it! What a sense of relief.

Another of mine was gifted to me by an old schoolfriend; such a precious gift. She was my introduction to mares!

One of my more recent horses jumped out of Facebook at me when I checked my phone when I got in from work! There was a picture of this gorgeous black mare jumping over a fence!! It said to ring for details...... I did, and it turned out she was - apparently - a bolter. But for some daft reason I still went to see her and as soon as I got on her I knew that no way was she a bolter!! She was a lovely girl and apparently she'd been on summer loan to a place where she'd been unsettled and this numpty girl had said that she had "bolted" because she'd had a helicopter overhead startle her and had met a tractor. I bought her! Against everything my head said, my heart won. She had won me over! She was bombproof, we had helicopters and tractors a-plenty and she was fine! Sadly she developed trigeminal nerve headshaking and I had to make a sad decision at the end of July this year. Such a sweet girl, but at least we managed to give her a peaceful end to her pain. She was only 10, should've been in her prime.

If I go to see a horse and can walk away without regret, I know it isn't the right one for me.

If I can't walk away, I "know" that I've found a good'un.

Yep know I'm soft in the head.

 

[Miss_Millie]

I went to see a pony that a friend had backed at her yard.

From the description she was everything but everything I'd said I didn't want i.e. pony, mare, coloured, hairy/feathers, youngster. You name it! I only went as there was another horse for sale and thought it might suit me!

This little sprat came up to me and nuzzled my neck with her breath. Dunno how it happened but I ended up bringing her home and she's been the best purchase I ever made.

With my previous horses, there was always "something". Can't define it, but there was somehow that special feeling that I couldn't just walk away. One of my previous horses even ended up looking over the gate in one of my fields overnight!! A livery's partner had bought him as a project to sell on and they'd shoved him in the field as hoped I wouldn't mind. I didn't!! Ended up buying him, he was a real sweetie.

Another came on winter loan from a trekking centre and I couldn't bear to send him back! The blighter was as quirky as a box of frogs and yet he taught me such a lot and I loved him to bits. During the last year of his life I managed to track down a previous owner - who told me that she had taught him to rear!! I'm glad I learnt that, it made me feel so very much better that it wasn't anything I'd done that had made him do it! What a sense of relief.

Another of mine was gifted to me by an old schoolfriend; such a precious gift. She was my introduction to mares!

One of my more recent horses jumped out of Facebook at me when I checked my phone when I got in from work! There was a picture of this gorgeous black mare jumping over a fence!! It said to ring for details...... I did, and it turned out she was - apparently - a bolter. But for some daft reason I still went to see her and as soon as I got on her I knew that no way was she a bolter!! She was a lovely girl and apparently she'd been on summer loan to a place where she'd been unsettled and this numpty girl had said that she had "bolted" because she'd had a helicopter overhead startle her and had met a tractor. I bought her! Against everything my head said, my heart won. She had won me over! She was bombproof, we had helicopters and tractors a-plenty and she was fine! Sadly she developed trigeminal nerve headshaking and I had to make a sad decision at the end of July this year. Such a sweet girl, but at least we managed to give her a peaceful end to her pain. She was only 10, should've been in her prime.

If I go to see a horse and can walk away without regret, I know it isn't the right one for me.

If I can't walk away, I "know" that I've found a good'un.

Yep know I'm soft in the head.

I think this sort of defines what that 'spark' feels like

 

[exracehorse]

It's definitely not essential IME. With my gelding I didn't have that 'spark' but he needed a home and there was space for him here. I did always like him though, it just wasn't 'that's the one for me' (at first sight) like it was with my mares. Now I've owned him for about 10 years (how did that happen?) and I can't imagine being without him, I completely adore him.

agree. One of mine was initially on loan. Not what I was looking for. A grey for a start!! I certainly didn’t have a spark. He’s not very affectionate. And can be a pain in the bum sometimes. BUT.. under saddle is a true confidence giver. And I always feel safe on him. After three months I bought him. And I’ve had him three years. One of my other horses DID give me the spark when I viewed and bought him. I love him to pieces and he’s very talented and super affectionate BUT .. he’s sharp. And I don’t always enjoy riding him. Sometimes we can mix up our emotions when we first view a horse to what is actually practical to our riding abilities and time we have to ride. My grey can be left for months and is exactly the same. Whereas my other needs constant hard work and I get stressed by it all. Especially in the winter.

 

[Caol Ila]

I think so.

Last February, I went to see a couple Highland youngsters. I came away feeling really sad and wondering what I was doing with my life. They were nice horses, and the breeders were nice people, but something wasn't there. Then I went to see a couple PRE youngsters, a filly and a colt, and as I left the yard, I'd told the owner that I wanted to vet the filly. Turned out I got a bit of the colt as well!

I'd bought the 2-year old with the delusion that my old horse would rally for another year or two. She didn't. After a vet told me in April that I should never ride her again and I would be lucky to have one last summer, I made the decision to buy a riding horse once she was gone, so the youngster could grow up and be brought along nice and slow, without me being desperate to ride. I thought that would be like now, the start of winter, but my old girl went downhill a lot faster than I had anticipated, and I had to put her down in early June. That was me back on the market. Looked at a couple horses, but didn't feel that excited. Then I looked at a green 10-ish year old ex-feral Highland, and thought, yeah, I really like this guy. So now he's my green 10-ish year old ex-feral.

 

[Mule]

The ones that have had to grow on me have always worked out better than the spark ones ?‍

 

[MuddyMonster]

No, I don't think so. I didn't feel a spark with mine - he was also too small, the wrong breed, the wrong age and too green ? - but I didn't dislike riding him, was sound and in budget. I'd seen lots of horses that weren't sound or had been mis-advertised so he came home!

I've had him years now, totally love him, we have a close partnership, have lots of fun and is most definitely a heart horse.

 

[The.Dr]

I've had my mare 10 years and she's never been easy. I got her as an unbacked 3yo and have done all her work myself, she's never had anything bad happen to her never had to work in poorly fitting tack or anything but she is a problem. Only in the last 8 weeks did she start coming right. Then the farrier made her lame so she had 10 days off, started to bring her back into work and she had a [Inappropriate content removed] last weekend when going out,crashed into the field gate and injured herself. I'm totally over dealing with her now and when I've got her right, I'll be selling her. I don't like her or enjoy anything about her and I never really have. It's time for her to go

 

[planete]

No, I do not expect to feel a spark. I just try and gauge whether there is anything that could make the purchase a walking disaster. If it more or less fits the bill and I think I can work with him after I have sat on him that is good enough for me. The affection and mutual respect come later once we have adjusted to each other.

 

[CMcC]

My pony obviously felt a spark with me. I didn’t with her, she was too small, too young, too puny. I was trying to tell the dealer I didn’t want her when I heard a voice say, “Alright I’ll take her”. My voice but definitely her decision. 13 years later I am very glad she decided she was coming home with me.

 

[Miss_Millie]

The ones that have had to grow on me have always worked out better than the spark ones ?‍

That says a lot too! Maybe it's unrealistic to expect a 'spark' upon first meeting a horse, and maybe if we let our hearts take over, we might end up buying something totally unsuitable.

 

[Miss_Millie]

I've had my mare 10 years and she's never been easy. I got her as an unbacked 3yo and have done all her work myself, she's never had anything bad happen to her never had to work in poorly fitting tack or anything but she is a problem. Only in the last 8 weeks did she start coming right. Then the farrier made her lame so she had 10 days off, started to bring her back into work and she had a [Inappropriate content removed] last weekend when going out,crashed into the field gate and injured herself. I'm totally over dealing with her now and when I've got her right, I'll be selling her. I don't like her or enjoy anything about her and I never really have. It's time for her to go

I'm sorry to hear that you've had such a hard time with your mare, that sounds really rough.

 

[Winters100]

I can't say that I have ever felt a 'spark', but now that I am older and break more easily I do look for horses that I feel confident on from the moment I get on. I am fairly flexible when it comes to buying, my one rule is that I have to feel that the horse is safe for my skill level, and likely to be able to do the job I need. I usually find that, if they do the job well, I become attached to them over time. For example when I saw my schoolmistress I did not like her looks at all, to me she was just a quite nicely built pony with an enormous head, but since she has proved herself to be such a saint I honestly don't see this at all, to me now she is an absolute beauty

 

[Mule]

I've been there ?

That says a lot too! Maybe it's unrealistic to expect a 'spark' upon first meeting a horse, and maybe if we let our hearts take over, we might end up buying something totally unsuitable.

 

[Winters100]

@TheDr Please don't use this language. It is really offensive and very unkind.

Also if you have had this horse since a 3 year old and she has not come right then perhaps you should be looking to your own skills rather than to the horse. She is unlucky not to have had an owner with the necessary knowledge to educate her. There is more to bringing on a youngster than avoiding 'bad things' and ill fitting tack.

 

[The.Dr]

@TheDr Please don't use this language. It is really offensive and very unkind.

It's my horse so I can say what I want. Shuffle along on snowflake

 

[Pippity]

I bought mine because she ticked all the 'must haves', didn't have any of the 'must nots', and passed the vet. She didn't have any visible personality at that point for me to feel a spark with.

She's perfect. She's cheeky and opinionated and safe and honest and tries her heart out for me.

 

[Pippity]

It's my horse so I can say what I want. Shuffle along on snowflake

Insult your horse as much as you like; don't insult people with cerebral palsy.