Show Jumping, what goes through your mind?

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Flash sounds like a right laugh!!
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he's an absolute pratt, he does everything in a canter that is pretty much at walking speed, will not go faster, and doesn't make a difference whether the jump is 1ft or 4ft, the latter being absolutely terrifying! He then just launches himself into the air and nearly catapults you into space! I'll have to get a video of it, it must look ever so funny!
 
Usually...
Why do i put myself through this... why cant we just go straight onto the xc course.

After round..

That wasnt too bad, actually i really enjoyed that, if only i had ridden it better, we might not have had those fences down. Why didnt i do what i was told in my last lesson.... argh! IF ONLY
 
Bearing in mind that I've only just started jumping small courses with my lazy girl in lessons then it goes something like:

"Canter... no wrong leg.... canter you little b'gger... leg leg leg... 3,2,1,1,1... OOOPPPPSSS... Don't trot you're supposed to be cantering... CANTER ON.... turn.. turn... NOOOO TURN NOW... 3,2... aaarrgghhh.... keep going... keep going... where's my RI with the lunge whip to get over the wall.. phew he's made it behind us in time.... now leg leg leg... WHEEEE!!!!"
 
Lol these are hilarious.

I think oh s**t where was the first fence again? oh god breathe argh I just went past the jump. pick up canter oh god i cant see my stride where did it go. then its a case of oh god i hope he sees a stride cause I sure as hell cant big gulp. We make it over the jump big sigh of relief.

Now where was the next jump, I do forget the whole course I Have shocking memory. I see my strides but when i get to a show I forget everything and In that much of a panic I dont find any lol So I just ride forwards hoping we find one.
 
ahh where do I go...[****] where is the next fence.....right no how do i get to the fence without crossing my tracks.... repeated.

I cannpot for the life of m rember courses at summerhouse each class I stood in the middle counting back the fences!
 
Generally can't think of much other than:

"slow down, please slow down, bloomin heck SLOW DOWN...ahh crap can't slow down, sit back sit back sit back and jump...phew made it..." then all over again
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Usually "sh*t" followed by "good boy, thanks for that" (ie. horse helping me out when I cock up!). Otherwise I just think about sitting up and looking up. Otherwise, I dont really think about that much - it's just concentration really.
 
Can't actually remember what goes through my mind, as haven't been out sj since february. OMG just realised how long ago that was!

But its is normally something along the lines of, 'sit up, legs forward, leg on and don't interfer too much'
 
Usually starts off something like " Toffee FFS you can leave the warm up arena" then we crab sideways in to arena, then we have a little hissy fit, then get a canter going, then it's " come on we can do this" , get refusal at 1st, circle round muttering words under breath and then jump first and second fence fine. Get to 3rd fence, which is double of walls and get eilininated. Last thoughts through mind are "why do I bother?!" Oh sorry, that was last weekend!!!!
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Sometimes we do go clear and it's a case of "I do actually enjoy jumping"!
 
First fenceistitis-leg on leg on, leg on...oh we're over thank goodness, oh c**p next fence, contain canter-my legs and arms hurt...breathe, breathe, breathe....1,2,3,4...give with hands but keep leg on....is this right....arghhhh..whats next....something along the above the whole way round resulting in one flustered beetroot faced rider and one cheesed off horse who is fed up being asked to slow down.
 
"calm down calm down, breathe, ok flint, help me out here, woah woah woah, sh*t, ok where the next fence, dont pull me, FLINT! what are they looking at! planks...come back come back....oh THANKS flint...1 down, turn the corner, use the space, AAAARGH! that was a bad stop, come on flint, breathe pete, back to it, thats it steady steady...FFS!!!" (bell rings) peter leaves laughing until he gets back to trailer where he thinks he's done the greatest round becasue he got to fence 4!! flint thinks its great, he's only had to jump 3!

is that what you meant?! lol
 
I dont really think when I'm jumping a round tbh!
I tend to just focus on how it feels and keeping the flow.

Is that the wrong answer?!
 
Of course it is the right answer!! It is great you are suitably focused. You must give your horses immense confidence
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At the moment its - sit up and hands down - the whole way round the course - in fact I even started saying it out loud last week!
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I also try to think shoulder in into the corners to try to stop her falling in but mainly I'm just chanting the sit up hands down thing (hopefully not audibly)
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Hi Guys,
I'm new and loving reading your thoughts and opinions! SJ is our weak link and I'm usually thinking "mmm ok so what shall I sing??!!" I'm forever being told that all my SJ probs will disappear if I sing my way around!! So, so that I can avoid all the other thought processes previously detailed has anyone got any tried and tested songs to SJ to, to keep that all elusive rhythm?? I know everyone's will be different but 1st intro of the season Cleobury - so have a week to practise any new tunes! (Can't be anything too fast tho, as that may worsen our speed probs!) Thanks!
 
Even for just jumping in the arena, tends to go something like this

"keep the canter, bouncy, bouncy, keep the canter, no, get your head up, use your sodding backend, bouncy bouncy, leg on, round the corner, oooo x-pole, can jump that, jump, bouncy bouncy, change leg, bouncy bouncy, ahhhh **** she's made it an upright, bugger, it's an upright, what do I do, arghhhhhh panic, breathe, keep the canter, get left behind, ahhhhh calm down, collect canter, come around again, bouncy bouncy Ahhhhhhh she's raised the upright, noooo, ahh damn it, cant ride uprights, weeeeeee got over that one, phew. Arghhhhh she's added ANOTHER damn upright, why why am i doing this, she knows I don't like jumping uprights round again, bouncy bouncy, try to find a nice approach, land in heap, collect up, ping, phewwwwww I survived"

I can't type on here what I say/think when I'm doing a course - admin would ban me
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depending on his mood occasionally what goes through my mind is my ass
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most of the time its slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww downnnnnnnnnnnnnn, slowwwwwwwwwwww downnnnnnnnnnnnnnn then i get a bit vocal & scream "IN THE NAME OFF ALL THINGS GOOD WILL YOU F&*%ING SLOW DOWN YOU GET BIG CLODHOPPING BAS$%^£D!!!!
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normally works & we jump clear
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usually

steady, steady, good girl, go on get over it, steady, STEADY SKYE!!, good girl. oh bugger heres the fence with the spooky filler sit back, sit back, sit back, good girl!

oh and mix in with a couple of swear words if she takes a big jump
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"Slow, Slow, keep straight, steady, three, two, one....er another one , legs, heels down and forward, now sit up and back, next fence...god, I am can't wait to finish I'm starving
 
PMSL @ the replies! This is great!
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If there's a stile " OI... look at the fence, oh yes, you DO fit through, yes you do, breathe in, AGH! You didn't need to squish my leg on the wing to prove your point! That's sooooo NOT FUNNY!"
As a general rule on Lurch, "leg... hand, agh where was my hand... where was my leg... out the side door... AGAIN!"
and on Gem " Slow down, keep it together, get OFF your forehand oi, LISTEN!"
and "pass the red bull - I need wings!!"

as for what comes out my mouth: "Ooops! Sorry!!" when I send them on a mega misser! DOH!
 
My horses thoughts are probably along the lines of:

"Oh for christ sake woman, leave me to it! I know exactly what to do - I could do this with my eyes closed IF you weren't on my back! Look, just sit up and try and look pretty. I'll do the rest (*rolls eyes*)"

Other one would likely say:

"Oh look there's a cow in the distance, oooooh is it a brown one or a black one? Hmmmm.... cant quite see..... OH JEEZUS CHRIST THERE'S A JUMP THERE!! WOAH! Oh crap, mum was I meant to go THROUGH that? Sorry, I was busy looking at the.... wow look at that sexy horse by the edge of the ring, might just need to do a few prancey bucks to show how agile I am......"
 
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