Show Nerves - Advice please

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mickey

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18 months ago I had a nasty accident and broke my back. I am now fully recovered (plenty of metal in my back now!) and have been back in the saddle for 1 yr.


However, I want to get my horse to some dressage/showing shows but I am really worried about it. I am worried that he will get excited and that I will freak out (worried about falling off). Until the accident I had owned him since 4 yrs old (for 5 yrs) and never fallen off.

The reality is that he never bucks or rears or does anything nasty. Sometimes he gets bouncy and can be quite sharp. At the moment that could be enough to worry me. I will probably freeze if that happens. I have stopped hacking out because I don't like it when he spooks. I really want to get out to shows again but the memory of my very serious accident stays with me. Any advice?
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Gosh you have been in the wars.I was just thinking how stunning your horse is!!.How about doing some inhand showing to build up your confidence abit!!.Maybe also have some lessons together!!.
 
Thanks....... Yes we have done in hand showing in the past, but he is much better when ridden (last in-hand class he stood on his back legs repeatedly as the grey arabians in the next ring seemed very exciting!). I am having lessons with the instructor on our yd which is helping though, she also took my horse to dressage recently (and qualified him for the regionals at hickstead on his first outing!) so that was good experience for him. But I couldn't help but wish I had been riding him. Spose I should just be glad to be riding at all.
 
I would say that if you want to do ridden showing that hacking would be the best thing to overcome first, although I am not belittleing your concerns. I can understand that you are worried. I would be !! is there any way that a friend etc has a bonbproof cob you can hack, to start getting your confidence and then get someone ona sain horse to hack out with you whilst uou ride yours ??

Am no expert so please tell me someone if I am totally wrong and off the mark

xx
 
I can sympathise I am still having problems with my nerves 5 years after breaking my back. you have to have trust in the horse you are riding. I have a tendency to freeze approaching a fence and end up in tears over it. Take it step by step and enjoy it and it should start to feel easier. Definitely see whether you can hack in company.
 
Thanks everyone - Yes I feel I need to get to grips with hacking first. Someone else on the yard said they would hack out with me today....alternatively I may ask my instructor to come out on foot with me and she can always ride back if things get too much....
Vic07 - I feel for you....Hope your back is better. I am sure that the mind does these things to try to protect us from further injury......But you are right, one step at a time...
 
I have sent you a pm if youd like to try some shows and want some moral support.

I cant imagine what its like to come back from such a serious accident.

Do you wear a body protector when you ride ? you prob do already but if you dont then pop one on. I wear mine out competing ( low key only ) if i am nervious.

Nerves are so hard to overcome its just time and practise and someone who understands how real your fears are.
 
If I were you i would go and get some homeopathy.
you can order from helois some arsenicum for you and aconite. They should calm you a lot.
You can also speak to their help line and see what they suggest. You wont look back !!
 
I broke my back when I was 17, after stupidly deciding that riding point to point was a good idea (turned out it wasn't!). I still get a bit nervy if i'm riding a strange horse, but when I'm on my own horses I'm fine because I trust them. I agree that you should conquer the hacking out thing before attempting anything else, invest in a good body protector if you haven't already that you can wear out hacking (its amazing how much safer they make you feel). I've found (and i'm not completely nuts, honest) that if I'm beginning to get a bit nervous or worried about what is or might happening then singing really helps. OK so the local wildlife might think you're on something when you ride down the bridleway singing the sun has got his hat on, but trust me it does work!! It calms you down and relaxes you, don't know how or why, it just does!

good luck, and let us know how you get on, I know only too well how horrible it is to think, well what if i fall off again, but I look at it this way, I've done it once, what are the chances of me doing it again, surely no one can be that unlucky!
 
I'd like to say, how well you are doing to be back riding. I think you are perhaps mentally rushing yourself. I would relax and enjoy what you have now, and in time it will all come right. I dont think there is any point in pushing yourself and getting het up. I still think you should take one day at a time.
 
Excellent!! One of my specialist subjects. (Really. It's a running joke in my part of the world that I am the "official riding instructor of the broken" as I've had a slew of clients come to me specifically after having serious accidents. Usually they also turn up with the horse still doing whatever it was doing to get them hurt in the first place.)

Weirdly enough, just a few minutes ago, I weighed in on a very similar subject on another bulletin board. http://www.equiman.com/cgi-bin/ubb/Forum8/HTML/023077.html

Have you discussed the situation with your instructor? What does she have to say about it? Does she feel that your skills are up to the challenge of showing your horse? Not just that you ride well enough, but that you have the knowledge and experience to deal with the unexpected? If not, does she have a plan for helping you confirm those skills? Have you shown him before? How did it go? In other words, are your fears justified? If they are not, is there something else that might be the root cause? Like fearing being rusty or diminished in someway from your accident and not doing as well as you used to?

If you feel that you really can cope with the situation (sometimes fear is really just good old common sense so examine it rationally, don't just discount it) then try to take a gradiated route back into showing. Can you go somewhere busy to school? Perhaps a very busy yard? Maybe a clinic situation? (Works great for some people, not so much for others, depending on how stressed they get about clinics.) If that goes well can you go to a show to school? Perhaps have your instructor ride the horse around first so you can see him being fine? Often not having the pressure of going into the ring lessens the anxiety right off the bat and it means you can work on your own schedule.

Same with hacking - break it into manageable steps and then only progress as you master each one.

I would very much recommend the back protector. I really encourage anyone who has had a back injury to ride in one, at least when hacking or doing anything else they aren't comfortable doing. One, it lessens the real fear of re-injury. Two, it often gives riders confidence by lessening the fear of getting injured if something untoward does happen. Three, it offers support so if you get tired or bounced around you are less likely to hurt and more likely to be able to continue to deal effectively with the situation.

If you really feel upset about your fear, or if you just want to get better as quickly as possible, it might be a plan to look into professional help. There are also sorts of sports psychologists and therapists who work very effectively with these sorts of problems. Why not get the help of someone who does that sort of thing every day of the week - they are bound to know more about it than the rest of us? I don't see it as any different than hiring a riding instructor or a car mechanic.

One thing that can really get in the way of dealing with fear is ego. And there will always be people who aren't you telling you to just suck it up. Not always the worst advice but hardly constructive either. The workings of the mind is not always a voluntary thing - it needs to be retrained not just bullied. You are to be commended for coming back and riding again. You have taken some huge steps. And you will be able to take these next ones, given time and attention. At your own speed, in the way that works best for you.
 
I think you just have to take things slowly and one step at a time, after an accident like that you're bound to have some worries. As Claire_and _capelli said, if you ever need moral support drop us a PM, I've only just started riding again and in the process of starting shows again after losing my confidence and not getting on a horse for 4 years.

The only way I can do it is on impulse, if I think about going to a show I worry myself stupid and can't do it, so I just have to get up, make a decision on the day and treat it as a normal day. The first (and only so far) show I went to was a tiny informal local one, which I hacked to and thought I could just ride around and see how I felt with the change of scenery and show atmosphere, maybe you could try that??
 
I would like to say thank you so much for all your help and comments. Ever since my accident I always have a rule that I never ride without a back protector now. Sweating buckets in the summer is a small price to pay (and good for the waistline!) How odd that having been riding for 30 yrs and never having broken anything despite a number of falls the first thing I break is my back. Still my surgeon was very keen for me to get back riding again.
I went through approx 9 months after the accident when riding did not really bother me, I was hacking for miles and miles last summer and loving it. But I think I must have had a delayed reaction because the last few months I have not enjoyed riding at all. It did help when my friend rode him at a show recently and apart from some excitement in the warm up he did not put a foot wrong.
I have a lot of experience and I do tend to plan things now and think things through so I think I will get there but I need to work up, little by little to my goals without over facing myself. I am naturally quite an anxious person though which prob does not help. Maybe the homeopathy would be good. Will keep you posted...
 
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