Sl-o-o-w-w-w Hacker - how to put them off??

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Flicker

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Was asked by fellow livery if she could join me on a hack on Sunday morning (she is a lovely lady btw and I have a lot of respect for her as she is rehabilitating a rescue and has done a fabulous job with him).
I know from the reports of others that her horse is really, really slow and she does nothing to try to push him on and will happily dawdle several horse lengths behind, even on fairly busy roads. So I said that she was more than welcome to join me but my horse marches on quite a bit and she would need to keep up, which she promised to do.
Anyway, she didn't, and got further and further behind then trotted to catch up, then lagged behind again. I tried to slow my lad up as much as possible, without him getting really narked and kept saying to her 'try to keep up, push him on a bit' especially where there were cars trying to pass us.
At one point the horse even stopped in the middle of the road to look at something in the hedge and she just laughed... At that point I snapped 'you really need to push him on because he's just being a prat now' which she thought was funny!
(sorry this is turning into a bit of a rant)
Well, the hack was an hour of my life I'm not going to get back, but we made it round in the end.
Now, she says that she had such a great time that she wants to come again next weekend! Aaarghhh...
How can I put her off without hurting her feelings?
She knows I hack on my own or in company, and go out with lots of different people on the yard (my horse is a bit of a baby-sitter) so I can't do the whole 'sorry, I only hack alone' schpiel...
 
Honesty is by far the best policy. It's not like her horse is being dangerous really (depends on how/where her horse stopped and how quickly she could get him going again if she really needed to), it's just that her hacking style doesn't suit yours. So just be honest - if she asks to go out with you again, say that it winds your lad up to slow him down/wait so you won't be doing that again - if she can't keep up then you'll see her back at the yard.

It might mean she'd trot to catch up more, but that wouldn't worry me (especially if your lad is used for babysitting duties, I'm sure he won't mind much)
 
I think just be honest with her. She sounds like a nightmare to me. It is dangerous re. traffic to leave huge gap between horses, drivers will get frustrated.
Explain that your horse walks on faster than hers and it is not fair to hack together because of this. Say that you did not like the large gap that she left and that she did not do as she promised and keep near you.
Surely common sense will prevail in her mind? Good luck, but do not feel obliged to bother if she dies not get the hint, just say, politely and firmly, "no, thank you". You need not explain any more than that really, we live in a free country after all.
 
ha ha. I know some of these people too.

You have been pretty straight with her, and you've told her your horse marches on, but she seems to not mind her horse dawdling, which is where the problem arrises. Without being really blunt and to the point, I'm not sure what else you can say, and then she might take offence and think you're just being funny with her?

Personally I wouldn't be able to stand riding a dawdler on a road hack, but each to their own I suppose.

You could either explain to her that it's quite dangerous on the road because if her horse can't keep up with yours, then it could cause an accident as drivers will be unsure weather they have to overtake you together, or pull in between the two horses, but by the sounds of her, she might not be able to see this as a problem.

or ... as a last resort (and without risk of upsetting anyone) perhaps you could just say that you only have a certain window of time to ride, and you need to push on, so it might be better if you go alone? She can't really argue with that and she might get the message?
 
Perhaps you could try to put her off by saying something along the lines of 'oh it'd be lovely to go out with you again but I really need to do some fittening work and so am going on a long fast hack with lots of trotting'??

I do feel your pain. There is a lovely chap at my yard who loves to hack out with me and my friends, but his horse is incredibly slow and he makes no effort at all to push it on (or steer much, but that's another tale!). My poor horse gets sooo frustrated at being constantly held back. Anyway, I really don't think I could tell him I didn't want to hack with him anymore as it would feel too mean. Instead, I just usually do fast hacks that he wouldn't want to join in on on days when he's riding, and hack out with him very very occasionally so that I don't feel so bad. But then I am the biggest of big wusses...
 
Does my head in!

My horse walks fast and hates being held back (so do I)

I'd just be honest, say 'actually if you don't mind, maybe you could go with ..... instead as we are probably going to be too fast and I don't like to hold my horse back' or something like that.
Don't need to be nasty or hurt their feelings, just be honest?
 
as the owner of a dawdler he has to jog if he can't walk fast enough and i know it will upset the horse in front. Slightly different if its my mum on hers though... I just moan at her ;) :D
 
Oh god, I'm this person (well, not this actual person, that would be too weird!).

My horse is a 14hh 2 cob and most of that height is her round body. We hack out with a leggy 16hh 2 TB and hang behind, with the odd burst of trot to catch up.

I don't mind dawdling too much, and never thought much of it. We hack on very quiet country lanes and through the woods, where she's actually much quicker. It never occurred to me that it would be that annoying for the other person, but having read the replies I can see how it could be and now feel bad!! Will be making more effort to kick her on from now on!
 
Thanks guys - I felt like a horrible person posting this, but I am grateful that I'm not alone in finding it disconcerting...
Some great suggestions - I will give them a go and hopefully not upset her (god, nervous...)
 
I'd be honest as the other said, but maybe I'd say to her that you'll give it another go but she must make an effort to keep up. Once she realises what a decent pace is she might start pushing the horse on a bit and once she gets used to it she might find she enjoys it so everyone's a winner!

I'm so lucky where we are, all the horses go at a similar pace. Unless I'm on Monty and I deliberately hold him back before we canter to try to wake him up;). It doesn't work:rolleyes:
 
I would just be honest like the others have suggested. I think different people expect different things from hacks. Some as a break to dawdle along on the buckle end, and others as a good marching / schooling opportunity in different scenery! I am a march on sort - I have spent long enough working and schooling my mare to get her walking out and responding to my aids that there is no way I am spoiling it now by sloping along - given too much time to think her mind wonders to spooking anyway so work is the way forward!
 
Maybe im too nice as i dont mind i just do half halts and get my mare to slow down as i used to be afraid hacking out and had slow horses in the past. End of day hr isnt going to kill me plus im going to need those safe slow horses to hack out with me and my youngster in a few years time.
 
Whilst a true dawdler is pain in the ass, a powerwalking horse is equally as annoying!

My boy isn't slow but neither is he a powerwalker, but we sometimes ride out with a serious powerwalker and it's SOOO annoying! His rider does nothing to try and slow him down (in fact he's encouraged to walk that fast) and poor Toby has to constantly jog to keep up, esp as the horse is a good hand bigger than him. :mad:
 
I used to have someone like this on my old yard. Ahhh!! It's not so much the slow horse I don't mind stopping and waiting if someone's is slower than mine but this woman had her head in the clouds. Reins on buckle with horse zig-zagging across road. If it saw something it didn't like she would just stand there looking at it with him and make no effort at all to move him past it so if she was in front you would have to just shove past her. My old mare kicked as well so you couldn't have her behind really because when she did trot to catch up she would just propell him into her back end despite me shouting that she kicks and on one occasion actually turned him round to look at a lorry coming whilst we were stationary so his back end was touching my mares back end.

Just couldn't cope with her. I think she was stoned most of the time (old hippy) all I could do was avoid her like the plague. If I was you I would go out one more time with her and get sterner and sterner - I would say on the ride something like ' I just don't think we can ride these two out together do you? They are so mismatched.'

Jolly good luck.
 
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