Sly little put downs

[eahotson]

Lady in our yard, she is ok and I get on well with her alot of the time BUT I am not the most confident in the horse world.Neither is she actually.Every now and again, especially when she is feeling more nervous than usual, she will say things like Well I don't do a lot but I do more than you.Little hints that I am not up to much.etc.I have tried ignoring it but it just got through to me the other day.Just not sure how, quite, to tackle it.The recent bad weather coupled with a very bad back and walking difficulties have made me a bit dipressed and vulnerable I think.

 

[Ladyinred]

If you get on with her generally speaking then I would just be inclined to say 'Miaow' and then laugh. It would be enough to make her think but bot enough to make her take offence.

 

[soulfull]

oh hun that is not nice I hate people like that!

Sounds like she is just trying to justify herself to herself.

If she has no physical problems then sounds to me like she could be doing a LOT more than you not just a little.

If you really feel you need to say something back then you could say that if you were her and didn't have your physical problems you would be doing XYZ by now

However at the end of the day does it really matter who does what. WE all do what we feel we can, or want to do.

Remember though we have horses for FUN so do what you can to keep it fun and ignore silly self doubting people

 

[riding_high]

i would just say something like i wish i was as mobile as you are cos at least then i could have done xyz. as it is i'm stuck with only being able to do this and that!

if you put it similar to that then she will think there's a compliment in there as well as a little dig!

 

[DragonSlayer]

I agree with the other posters, and some people seem to know just when to kick you..

I particually like the 'Miaow' tactic!

It might take some digging of confidence to use that word, but it would be worth it...

chin up!

 

[kerilli]

oh dear, what Bridget Jones calls 'jellyfishers' - they say something and you only realise a bit later that it really stings.
"do you want some cream with that?" works, as well as the "miaow" comment.
i can't stand people like that. she must be really insecure if she has to say that kind of stuff to try her bolster her own ego.
of course, if you're brave enough, if she says anything really nasty you can come back with the totally honest and open "why would you say something so deliberately hurtful to me?"

 

[Kenzo]

Oh take no notice, people like that say things like that to make themselves feel better, perhaps they don't actually really mean to have dig at you (as in hurt your feelings) but it's there way of making themselves feel a bit less guilty about something.

Smile and rise above

 

[Zirach]

In my opinion, people like that are insecure themselves. We have someone like that at our yard and I know what it can be like, on one hand you dont want to make a scene (we all want an easy life) but on the other hand it can be so hurtful.

I would just draw her up on it a few times and hopefully she will get the message. Some people never change however and that is life.

Keep on doing what you are doing and dont let the buggers get to you! There is always someone who thinks they know better!

 

[MrsMozart]

I like the "Miaow" response, and the "Why would you say something to hurt me" response

It could be that she doesn't realise what just what effect she is having on you.

 

[skewbald_again]

can you sing? I used to know someone who, if ever anyone made little 'put downs' would start singing 'why don't you build me up buttercup' at the top of her (none too tuneful) voice. It did tend to stop them. (If it didn't, she added a loud 'MOOOOO' after the 'Buttercup')

 

[eahotson]

can you sing? I used to know someone who, if ever anyone made little 'put downs' would start singing 'why don't you build me up buttercup' at the top of her (none too tuneful) voice. It did tend to stop them. (If it didn't, she added a loud 'MOOOOO' after the 'Buttercup')

Oooh I love that one! Feel better for the suport.Mostly I ignore it but am feeling a bit low at the moment and the digs seem to be getting more frequent.I will sort something though.

 

[Natch]

Add the word "Ouch!" to your responses list. Although I have known one lady turn around and look at me in puzzlement and ask if i'd just stubbed my toe

Or do as an overly dramatic friend of mine once did, and pretend to stab yourself in the heart and fall down groaning! That one worked.

I've also seen someone start grappling trying to reach their own back... and eventually turn around to the perpetrator and say "excuse me, please could you help me to remove this knife from my back?"

 

[S14Tobin]

Oh, I like the cream comment! Another thought is to throw it right back at her with a 'oh? what exactly are you trying to say? I would imagine she may bluster a little and skulk off, but it will mean she knows it's been noted!!!

 

[Zirach]

Keep your chin up, I am having the exact same thing as you - they are in the next door stable as well! Have a chat with them, get it out in the open - they may not realise the upset they are causing and if they do and they arent prepared to rein it in a bit, then they are obviously not a very nice sort of person.

It is hard, we have our horses to enjoy them and when you have got people being like that, especially if you self confidence is a little down, it does get to you.

Hope it gets sorted xxxx

 

[Flame_]

"Shut it, you cheeky bitch" usually does the job.

 

[Zirach]

"Shut it, you cheeky bitch" usually does the job.

I'm going to try that one at the weekend!!!