So, Badminton: To sum up

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skewbald_again

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No dogs should be allowed because they might get tired, and they get in the way, and you can't expect a horse at that level to just ignore a dog after all.
All children should be banned because they are inconvenient and get a bit sticky and sometimes cry, so as the master race, it is up to us to weed them out and make sure that our Blessed Event is free of all such stuff and nonsense.
No one should smack a horsy worsy.
No one should make the horsey worsy jump the fency wencys if he doesn't want to.
In fact lets make the fences a lot smaller and perhaps out of styrofoam or something so no one gets hurt.
The sponsorship and prize money are dizzying and attracting the wrong kind of people, that Wayne Rooney can't ride to save his life.
Mark Todd is horrid and must not be allowed back.
As no one with a dog or a child can now come, the crowds will be much smaller, and obviously only consist of those of us who know what we're doing, as pro-whippers and parelli deniers will by now be in a concentration camp somewhere.
Which means they needn't bring the cameras at all.

What would this sport do without its grass roots support, eh?
 
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Don't forget, anyone caught attending wearing Dubarrys must be frog marched out because they are only wearing them as a fashion accessory ... dread the thought anyone might want to wear their expensive, comfortable, durable boots :rolleyes:
 
Trolt said:
Don't forget, anyone caught attending wearing Dubarrys must be frog marched out because they are only wearing them as a fashion accessory ... dread the thought anyone might want to wear their expensive, comfortable, durable boots :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Oh gosh, yes, sorry Trolt, add an amendment, quickly.
 
Brilliant post!!

In regards to the spectators attire-could we please add a minimum skirt length as there were some SERIOUS faux pas occurring!! Tweed skirts are lovely but they do not need to be so short that we can see what she ate for breakfast that morning....
 
I'm the one who wants rid of the horrible children!! I stand by it. I can't stand the little blighters.

And I'm not even on 'their' side. I'm a pro whipping parelli denier. I must have been corrupted!

Jelly fences would be in serious danger of being eaten by ME. I love jelly!
 
You also forgot to add that no horse is allowed to withdraw because it had a less than satifactory stressage score - even if it did dump the rider 6 times during the test.

Also could we have one fence made out of hollow chocolate? Easter egg style? For those of us who don't like jelly?!?

Though I do agree with the no kids things - nasty horrible little things!
 
Ban bits and bridles.
If you are a true rider you can ride bitless bareback. Saddles are cruel. And bits. And Shoes. And horseboxes.. infact.. everyone must hack to the event!
 
I forgot about the bits! Yes! Riding in halters only please, if not totally naked!

If your horse has half a seconds laspe in concentration you must pull up immediately as it is far too tired to carry on!
 
In fact, why not give over the first half of cross country day to just watching and admiring all the parelli people do a demonstration of how it should be done? with a commentary. ooh and Katie Price maybe.
 
So... essentially, this is fun house for equines.
An obsticle course consisting of Jelly and cream, to be completed on foot, against the clock.

All we need now is Pat Sharp and his mullet of doom :rolleyes:

Edited - Who needs Pat Sharp when we can have Pat Parelli :D
 
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