So, Badminton: To sum up

I've got the PERFECT solution! Why don't we all leave our horses in their nicely padded cells where they couldn't possibly harm themselves and go and buy ourselves a load of Barbie dolls and her horses! And then in stead of actually risking taking our new found treasures to competitions why don't we create a perfectly safe enviroment at home and take photographs of said Barbie and horse and get outside judges to compare, make notes and declare the winner!

Et Voila! Problem solved! No horses were harmed, no whips, spurs, shouting or bad language was used! No vet trot ups (Barbie would fail worse than the horse!) No tired horses, no dangerous jumps, no dangerous and annoying spectators and most of all - NO FUN!!! (unless you are of course into that kind of thing ...)
 
EKW said:
I've got the PERFECT solution! Why don't we all leave our horses in their nicely padded cells where they couldn't possibly harm themselves and go and buy ourselves a load of Barbie dolls and her horses! And then in stead of actually risking taking our new found treasures to competitions why don't we create a perfectly safe enviroment at home and take photographs of said Barbie and horse and get outside judges to compare, make notes and declare the winner!

Et Voila! Problem solved! No horses were harmed, no whips, spurs, shouting or bad language was used! No vet trot ups (Barbie would fail worse than the horse!) No tired horses, no dangerous jumps, no dangerous and annoying spectators and most of all - NO FUN!!! (unless you are of course into that kind of thing ...)
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OMG

Where do I sign?
 
It could be like one long relay.....we could each canter one stride, without tack, and when we got to a jelly & ice cream fence we could all team up and lift a horse over between us.......
 
i know....why don't we take them all to bin-end sales, stand them in the sun for 12/15hrs without water, hay, bedding to pee on, then trawl them 200 miles to go through the same thing 2 days later.......

no sorry, that is fact isnt it, how silly of me.....
 
I can't beleive you have all neglected the issue of the ground. There must be an all weather rubber surface as it is SOOOO cruel to gallop on rock hard grass. No horse should EVER gallop on GRASS, its EVVVILLL!!!! Didn't we cover this in the GN thread, geese guys! Come on....
 
To save our backs and bodies by lifting the horses over the jelly and cream fences, why don't we eat them instead and then no horse or rider would get injured?
 
The whole course will be carpeted. There is a bg house at Badminton we can use carpet from there, probably curtains, tapestries, that sort of thing.

I'm sure the Duke won't mind.
 
duvets, cushions, the lot, it will be lovely. Lets hope they are mostly pink. Also it was too hot this year, very uncomfortable for everyone. Maybe we should hold it in November? Oh wait. It might be slippy. February then. Bit cold though. And horses get so spooky in March when it's windy.
Shall we bother, or shall we wonder if all our horses have got a bad back?
 
Thanks for noticing my concerns about galloping horses on grass (so un-natural. tut tut). skewbald again- Maybe the whole track should be indoors.
BTW The course is wayyyyy to long, the really shouldnt leave the main arena. Also I don't like the idea of the rider's forcing horses over fences, so maybe the riders should just run alongside the horses??
 
What you need, you see, is a car-jack under each hoof in front of the jump, and a crash mat on the far side for them to land on. Or maybe a bouncy castle? All they have to do is rise gracefully into the air, then hop off onto the bouncy castle. Sorted.
 
The riders should walk round the course (carpeted as previously mentioned) with only a carrot stick and join up to steer the horse. All horses must have a giant parelli ball balanced on their backs through the sunken road and quarry to show that the riders respect their horses. Stenna stairlifts will be permitted for all riders (on the uphill parts of the course) that are over the age of 40, as they are obviously likely to croak at any moment.

The only dogs allowed are ones that are carried in bags like fashion accessories that have had their voices removed.

A RSPCC marquee will look after all children in cages for up to three hours.
 
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My biggest concern is that these horses or (Shetland) ponies are actually going to be RIDDEN. This is not acceptable - the horses/ponies should be led, but with no restrictive head collars or halters, but just by dangling a carrot under their nose. They should certainly not be allowed to move too quickly and should be given to opportunity to graze at 3 minute (minimum) intervals.

I shall submit a few suggestions to the FEI for their perusal......................
 
Doris68 said:
My biggest concern is that these horses or (Shetland) ponies are actually going to be RIDDEN. This is not acceptable - the horses/ponies should be led, but with no restrictive head collars or halters, but just by dangling a carrot under their nose. They should certainly not be allowed to move too quickly and should be given to opportunity to graze at 3 minute (minimum) intervals.

I shall submit a few suggestions to the FEI for their perusal......................
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Ah but then if we let them graze so frequently, especially those little Shetlands, then we risk people getting up in arms about us letting our horses and ponies get too fat and put them at risk of lammi!
 
EKW said:
Ah but then if we let them graze so frequently, especially those little Shetlands, then we risk people getting up in arms about us letting our horses and ponies get too fat and put them at risk of lammi!
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Damn EKW, I didn't think of that. Maybe muzzles would be OK?......hang on...NO!!...too cruel and restrictive. Aaah well, back to the drawing board methinks. Any useful suggestions, on a post card please!
 
Ok I'll get the ball rolling on the new Badminton!

Here we have a lovely, well turned out horse and rider. Snaffle bit, baggy reins, no whip, no spurs, no shoes on the horse, nothing restrictive around the shoulders and chest, the jump is small, no spectators, no kids, no dogs, no jump judges, no ambulances, it's in the shade and the icing on the cake - it is all computer generated so no horse nor human got hurt!

barbieHorseAdven_050603_02_640w.jpg
 
oh and lovely, lovely loose hair too :)
No hi-viz is my only big disappointment.
I think we should open it up to Unicorns as well, that would look lovely.
 
Spudlet said:
What you need, you see, is a car-jack under each hoof in front of the jump, and a crash mat on the far side for them to land on. Or maybe a bouncy castle? All they have to do is rise gracefully into the air, then hop off onto the bouncy castle. Sorted.
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Trampolines would work too, just for variety!
 
Doris68 said:
Damn EKW, I didn't think of that. Maybe muzzles would be OK?......hang on...NO!!...too cruel and restrictive. Aaah well, back to the drawing board methinks. Any useful suggestions, on a post card please!
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As all the horses will be 'barefoot' they can't eat grass. They need to be dry lotted and fed hay even when there is beautiful grass on the other side of the fence.

I suggested that they are allowed to stop at 3 min intervals to be fed some soaked hay and brewers yeast. It's the kindest thing.
 
jesstickle said:
As all the horses will be 'barefoot' they can't eat grass. They need to be dry lotted and fed hay even when there is beautiful grass on the other side of the fence.

I suggested that they are allowed to stop at 3 min intervals to be fed some soaked hay and brewers yeast. It's the kindest thing.
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I have only just seen this thread and am glad that the barefoot option is being looked into properly. Please do not forget that the horse will need a variety of terrains to ensure his feet get conditioned and the hay needs to be analysed at each stage. Also if people are using saddles (:eek: cruel - but some people are not at the stage of being able to ride properly yet) these saddles must be treeless.
 
Damnation you could be right :)

But then what do I do with all these shetlands??

Maybe they could use them like sheep dogs to control the children at the rspcc tent? I can teach them to bite and kick (if they don't know already :rollseyes:
 
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