So-called friends...?

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Sillymoo

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Hi everyone

I'm just after a bit of a rant I think! I have a so-called friend who blows hot & cold so often I never know where I am or what I'm supposed to have done to upset them!
I try to be a supportive, considerate friend & am always prepared to help out if they need me - which is wonderful when they need me but after that they seem to drop me like a hot potato! Why are people like this?
Perhaps I should cut this 'friend' loose & let them get on with it?! It's hard work trying to stay friends most of the time & friendship shouldn't be like that should it!?
I can't confront them about it as they would see it as a personal attack & it would cause a rift - this is hard for me as I'm an open, upfront kind of person.
Any suggestions?

Thank you
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Its not worth kicking up another argument by confronting them, you obviosuly know them well enough to know that they are going to retaliate, so you are better off finding new friends, as its obviously not working out. Perhaps, as a last resort you could try talking to one individually and ask if they know how they are making you feel??
 
I could cope with retailiation so that we can get everything out in the open - if I've done something to upset this person I'd rather know about it but as it is at the moment it's like one big sulk which I find quite childish!
I'm reaching the end of my patience to be frank - I think I should leave them to get on with it & concentrate on the people who appreciate my friendship!?
This certain person isn't well liked but I've defended them to the back teeth & this is the thanks I get!
 
fair enough, but what im trying to say is IF they take it personally then they are going to retaliate and everyone will be shouting, i think its best if you speak to one individually in a normal tone of voice to see what they think.
 
Unfortunately life is full of people like this, but please don't change the way you are, you should be proud that you are as you say, a kind, helpful and supportive friend.
Just because you don't get it back, doesn't mean you should change how you are with people, in fact you'd be an even better person for not changing just because you don't get the respect back that you no doubt deserve.

Sometimes people take advantage, don't return the favour and have not time for you and let you down when sometimes you feel like all you have given them is your ears, your eyes and your heart for many years and its even more hurtful when you consider them to be a close friend and indeed want that back from them.

Keep your chin up, don't change but don't let them walk over you neither, look in the mirror and smile back at yourself for being the person you are.
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I wouldn't give them another opportunity to drop me, I just would'nt be available for help/advice/input etc- leave this person to get on with it...sounds like a user...I have been used a few times in the past, the older you get, you still don't always spot them initially ( my OH does, he's always proved right as well, how annoying!!) Just carry on being you, but don't be so available next time they want you for something.

Woman on our yard blows hot and cold, one day- best friend, next day, face like thunder. Now I wait for her to speak first because i got fed up of passing her on the way to the muck heap, saying 'Hi' and getting nothing back.
 
I'm on your wavelength...! I think this could be the way to deal with the situation - it's a compromise because it means I don't have to stop being who I am but it could mean me not being taken advantage of! Thank you
smile.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
Unfortunately life is full of people like this, but please don't change the way you are, you should be proud that you are as you say, a kind, helpful and supportive friend.
Just because you don't get it back, doesn't mean you should change how you are with people, in fact you'd be an even better person for not changing just because you don't get the respect back that you no doubt deserve.

Sometimes people take advantage, don't return the favour and have not time for you and let you down when sometimes you feel like all you have given them is your ears, your eyes and your heart for many years and its even more hurtful when you consider them to be a close friend and indeed want that back from them.

Keep your chin up, don't change but don't let them walk over you neither, look in the mirror and smile back at yourself for being the person you are.
smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Very good advice. Are there others at your yard who are treated in the same way? There's a person where I am at who is just the same. I realised that they used & dropped others in the same way, so now I realise it's them being selfish and self centred.

Keep smiling, you are at your yard for your horse 1st, friends we make are a bonus, just be yourself, if you act differently they'll only turn it on you saying you're being funny with them.. I figure its not worth getting upset, just knowing I am not as shallow as them is generally enough to stop myself feeling hurt.
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