So Do I Have Mug Written in Big Letters on My Forehead?

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UKHorse

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I am an existing member who is posting this anonymously because I do not want to stir up a storm with my previous yard.

I am feeling a little bit had and am just wondering if I am right in feeling like this!

So if you had been told that you had a problem horse for the last 18 months, that had been in training for all of that time at a cost of £700 per month incl livery.

That was apparently scared of the bit and had to be worked bitless.

Was not safe enough to take outside for hacks

And you then moved it to another yard where they lunged it twice in a bog standard snaffle then hopped on and rode in the school with no reaction then hacked it out after 3 days riding in the school and it walked and trotted along ears pricked, no spooking or looking at all chilled to the point that the rider had aching legs on the return as she had to keep legging him on. And you had just been asked if one of the instructors could take him to a Dressage competition in September.

I have just been told that my horse is a total dream and a bit of a Dobbin! This new yard has seen their fair share of remedial horses so should know what they are talking about.

Add to this that I have been told I am not experienced enough for this horse and need a minimum of 3 x lessons a week on one of their school masters yet the new yard who have seen me ride are saying "what?? you rode sharper horses when you rode with us".

Your reaction would be what?
 
Honestly? my reaction would be 'why have I been spending that kind of money every month, and for what'? Why did you spend out so much for so long? Horrible to be taken for a mug, and I do feel for you, but also you do need to act like your money is actually yours and take some care when deciding who to trust and what sort of costs and time frames are reasnoble.

I hope you don't just think I'm being a cow, but it is an awful lot of money, what did the horse do that was so bad that you thought it necessary for that kind of expense over such a long period of time?

I hope you are enjoying your horse now and that any problems are in the past.
 
hmmm, I would check the mirror, just in case it does say ''MUG'' on my forehead :) and then I would probably go beserk...
On a serious note, I struggle to comprehend how it happened. 18 months?!!!:eek: Didn't it cross your mind that in all that time, even if the horse was tricky, it should have been produced enough for you to ride it?
I'm not quite sure if there is anything you can do about it now, other than move on, but if there is, I would certainly be doing that something.
 
ThePony said:
Honestly? my reaction would be 'why have I been spending that kind of money every month, and for what'? Why did you spend out so much for so long? Horrible to be taken for a mug, and I do feel for you, but also you do need to act like your money is actually yours and take some care when deciding who to trust and what sort of costs and time frames are reasnoble.

I hope you don't just think I'm being a cow, but it is an awful lot of money, what did the horse do that was so bad that you thought it necessary for that kind of expense over such a long period of time?

I hope you are enjoying your horse now and that any problems are in the past.
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Not being a cow at all honestly and you are saying nothing worse than I am thinking myself!

In my defense my confidence was at an all time low having had an accident so I think I was in the "I know nothing and am crap place"

I was told....that the horse was not suitable for a nervous novice...ahem and needed lots of training to make it suitable....I know I know!

I feel very stupid and very angry!
 
Was the horse a bit of a nightmare when you first got it?
Because if it was, although they've clearly ripped you off, at least now you have a horse you can ride yourself and enjoy :)
 
I had just placed my horse into a working livery (as I apparantly could not ride it) at a friends yard and was in the process of buying another horse which guess what "will be perfect for you but needs training":o

You would never guess I am actually an intelligent human being would you:o

All I can say is thanks to my friends updates I have managed to call of the purchase of this other "perfect but needs training" horse"

I am currently banging my head against the table if you are all wondering what the noise is!
 
Only feeling a little bit had?

I suggest you check your back for a sign saying 'Please take my money' as well as MUG on your forehead. Sorry.
 
Shocking but it could be that the horse was difficult for them. Did you see it being ridden with them?

Easy to be wise after the event, I am sure it all made sense at the time. What you need is chocolate and wine.

Hands over chocolate and wine...
and bill for £700 :cool:
 
Not £700 total - £700 A MONTH! To be fair that sounds like a pretty standard monthly charge for schooling livery for a horse which has real problems but it simply isn't fair to expect an owner to pay out for training livery for 18 months without regular assessment discussions as to how the horse is progressing and what the next steps should be. For that amount per month I would certainly have expected to either have had the horse hacking out within a reasonable timeframe in the context of the problems or to have had a sit down discussion as to why the horse couldn't hack out and whether it would be the horse for you in the longer term.

It sounds like your confidence and self esteem hit rock bottom and whoever was helping with the horse somehow forgot that you usually need to help the owner/rider as well. I don't know anyone who offers training livery who doesn't spell out from the beginning that the owner needs to make a commitment to their horse's training and the level of owner/rider involvement needs to be agreed upfront with some clear goals being set and reviewed regularly. I'm not suggesting for a minute that you weren't prepared to make that commitment, more that they should have worked with you, not just taken your money every month.

I hope there's something you can do but if not then at least it sounds like you're in the right place now!
 
Sending you a hug - sounds like you've been taken advantage of while you were suffering confidence issues.


There are some really horrible people out there :mad:

You can only really learn and move on.

Hope you now get to enjoy your horse again :)
 
OP I sympathise if you are in a bad place mentally with your horse ownership it can be very difficult to see out of the bottom of the well and I have been there not on schooling livery but at livery. I have learnt more about me and my riding style since I sold my horse and left.
Maybe your horse is just happier here.
 
£175.00 approx. for full livery and full training isn't a lot of money for a nice livery yard with good facilities, grazing, stables and expert schooling, in fact it's quite cheap really.

BUT for a yard that was happy to take this from you for 18 months....18 months (even if the horse was a complete head case!) is complete daylight robbery! if this was the case they should of a) sorted it out by then or given it up as bad job and said look it's a waste of our time and your money trying to sort this fruit loop out, take him back, retire it or have it shot (excuse me being so blunt..but you get what I'm mean) but when they have been bull pooing you all this time and the horse has been a little less than quirky at the best of times, I'd be god dam furious, they have been taking the mick.

Can't understand why it took all that time for you to realise though.:confused: but I totally sympathise with you.

Perhaps and I say perhaps very lightly!, it could be that horse just didn't get on with them or the place, perhaps he may of been hard work at that yard, it is possible for horses to have a complete brain transplant depending on how settled and relaxed they are, and some yards and folk that are handling them can have a huge influence on their temperament.
 
Kenzo said:
£175.00 approx. for full livery and full training isn't a lot of money for a nice livery yard with good facilities, grazing, stables and expert schooling, in fact it's quite cheap really.
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£700 a MONTH!!

ETS :
Scrap that, I've just done the maths and thats weekly isn't it...
Crawling back under rock now.
 
Ladybird said:
£700 a MONTH!!

ETS :
Scrap that, I've just done the maths and thats weekly isn't it...
Crawling back under rock now.
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Yes lol, some places for full livery your paying £80 a week and that up here in the North (cheaper end of the country) so plus your schooling on top and for a problem horse a little more danger money added on top, it's not that much really per week, but it is if the horse doesn't even need it to begin with.:D
 
Id have to ask have you spent any time with your horse, surely they were helping you to work with your horse? in the 18 months,did you ever jump on ? I cant believe you let this go on for so long without questioning it.:eek::eek:
You have well and truly had the piss taken id say, but i dont know why you left it to go on so long without progress reports, 18 months is one helluva long time. Can i ask what the horse was doing that you needed to have these "trainers" working with it ?
 
was it a BHS registered establishment? if not, why not? these are the questions you need to be asking yourself. you can only learn from this mistake, move on and put it behind you. Use only BHS qualified people in future.
 
marydoll said:
Id have to ask have you spent any time with your horse, surely they were helping you to work with your horse? in the 18 months,did you ever jump on ? I cant believe you let this go on for so long without questioning it.:eek::eek:
You have well and truly had the piss taken id say, but i dont know why you left it to go on so long without progress reports, 18 months is one helluva long time. Can i ask what the horse w as doing that you needed to have these "trainers" working with it ?
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Can I just set one thing straight. I did not just dump my horse off never see it and pay the bill. I was there every day as it was on a livery package where I had to muck out. I have had ground work lessons with him, and yes I have ridden him 4 times before being told we were not a match and I needed to have 3 lessons a week on a schoolmaster to get my confidence back.

As I have said I was at a totally low ebb as I was just recovering from a bad accident with associated broken bones....horse was doing nothing in hindsight that a "green" horse would do, but as I say my confidence was rock bottom and I listened to the experts!

And yes I had progress reports they were that the horse needed a lot more work, was terrified of the bit and was far too much for me to handle.

I am well aware that I have been a total prat.
 
Can I ask where in the UK this was, I am presuming you are based in the UK?

If you confidence was low I can understand how you could be taken in. Unfortunately I don't think there is anything you can do about it apart from chalk it up as a lesson learned.

I think everyone in the equine world has been taken for a ride (excuse the pun) at least once.
 
Horsesforever1 said:
was it a BHS registered establishment? if not, why not? these are the questions you need to be asking yourself. you can only learn from this mistake, move on and put it behind you. Use only BHS qualified people in future.
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Sorry but i disagree, i know some good people out there who arent BHS qualified but are bloody good at what they do. There are good BHS people, but ive also seen ohers i wouldnt let near a horse
I'd only send a horse to someone i had checked out myself and id also be asking for testimonials from past clients and trainers credentials to do the job.
But more importantly id be asking to sit in on some sessions and asking for regular updates and progress reports.
 
UKHorse said:
I am well aware that I have been a total prat.
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Not at all. They've been total prats (actually that's not accurate but I think censorship limits me to "prat"). You've been misguided and far too trusting. Unfortunate but these things do happen, especially if you've had confidence issues. On the bright side, you've learnt a lesson and now have a nice sounding horse back. Maybe he was different for them, no way of knowing for sure, but it does sound unlikely.

On another note, I was thinking of setting up a business offering length periods of reschooling for horses who don't need it. Can I make my fortune this way? ;)
 
Seems they came down on you like a pack of wolves, NOT nice people, make sure you spread the word in your area about their dubious "activities".
 
marydoll said:
.
But more importantly id be asking to sit in on some sessions and asking for regular updates and progress reports.
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Oh please stop bashing! I did sit in on some sessions and i did ride the horse and get updates and progress reports. They all said;

Needs more time, very very green,not suitable for you, you need your confidence building (this bit was actually right) and I was at such a low ebb I trusted them and listened to them. They even advised me to sell him...luckily I had enough about me to say no way.
 
Being too trusting isn't a huge sin, ok so maybe lots of us would have sat up and questioned it but i don't think its worth too much flack.
Its an annoying situation, they failed you but then you did allow them to do so...I'd chalk it up to experience and enjoy your horse :)
 
dont beat yourself up for trusting people who you thought were helping you, I know someone who had a similar experience with her horse, her instructors were ripping her off terribly and her lack of confidence was the key, she trusted them, it was so upsetting to see her reduced to a wreck by them, I am happy to say she got rid of them, moved yards and has never looked back, I wish you luck and hope it all works out.
 
UKHorse said:
Oh please stop bashing! I did sit in on some sessions and i did ride the horse and get updates and progress reports. They all said;

Needs more time, very very green,not suitable for you, you need your confidence building (this bit was actually right) and I was at such a low ebb I trusted them and listened to them. They even advised me to sell him...luckily I had enough about me to say no way.
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Sorry i didnt mean to bash you:( but am genuinely shocked that it took you so long to figure out you were being taken for a ride. Didnt you feel when you were riding that what was being said didnt match what you found as you rode.
Please i am in no way getting at you, but how did they manage to keep you hanging like that for so long
 
marydoll said:
Sorry i didnt mean to bash you:( but am genuinely shocked that it took you so long to figure out you were being taken for a ride. Didnt you feel when you were riding that what was being said didnt match what you found as you rode.
Please i am in no way getting at you, but how did they manage to keep you hanging like that for so long
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Because having heard all the horror stories of what was wrong and having been told that he was far too much horse for me I was so crucified with nerves by the time I did ride him that I was as stiff as a board, and as scared as hell, obviously then the horse went like a bag of spanners and tiny things that had my confidence been better level I would have dealt with easily.

Luckily this new yard is so annoyed on my behalf that they have said give them a week, they will start me off on the stable plod and have me on my horse hacking out by the end of the week. The YO has seen me ride before, has let me ride her horse before and has finally woken me up by saying "you rode him brilliantly and he is much sharper than yours".

It's a bit like having a veil lifted:o
 
I find this so sad, it sounds like they have just continually perpetuated your fear instead of helping you get to grips with your horse, folks like that just set my teeth on edge, im so glad youve found people who are really going to help you now
The past is the past, learn from it and move on and start to really enjoy your horse :)
 
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