So Guys, New Business Venture....

charlyan

charlyan

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Have decided on new way to fund my neddies-

I'm going to set up a website highlighting the plight of our local Shetland lambs-

These cute fluffy little creatures are taken away from their mothers at under a year old and sold for slaughter. Please rescue a Shetland lamb for a small fee to cover the cost of hiring a team of sheepdogs and shepherd for a week to round your specific lamb off the hills and shipping it to you in Cityville.
Rescue fees start at £500 +VAT

I think I will leave out the bit about them being unhandled since birth and the fact that they grow into great big, thick, lumbering beasts with an uncanny knack of finding unique and inventful ways of seriously maiming or killing themselves.

Do you think I'll get many takers?
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Wouldn't you like a small flock??

I have quadruplets who need to be rehomed together- one of them has two short legs and two normal legs so would be best kept on a slope so he can balance and not feel disadvantaged...oh, and his sister has a bit of a green runny nose but my vet had a look through binoculars and said that a dose of Benylix (sp) and she'd be right as rain.

Equal opportunities and all that...
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Oh PLEASE don't joke. Someone is going to take you seriously, and what's more, they're going to take you seriously whilst ON THEIR WAY to MacDonalds.
Can any of them play basket ball? Do I need an orange crook?
 
I'll take 2! those poor poor lambs
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they have to spend a whole year living like a sheep only to be slaughter at the end of the nightmare.

I assume when it starts peeing and pooing all over my house and escapes onto the road causing an accident I'll be able to sell it on? There must be a market for these cute fluffy creatures...and I don't mean on a plate..I'm an organic vegan with bunny hugging tendancies
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SHETLAND_SHEEP_RESCUE_PAGES.COM
(UN-REGISTERED NOT FOR PROFIT CHARITY)

And for those who feel they are not quite ready to take on a youngster, we have some older sheep who have been "handled"...

Fun loving ewe that regularly rolls onto her back and gets stuck-
needs a good shove now and then!
She is available for rescue along with her three month old lamb but unfortunately no brains
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I also have Ella with her twins available- she needs a home with a small section of sheep fencing so that she can continue to get her head stuck in the same place every few days
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. Again, not available with brains
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We will arrange transport to you in our newly acquired, state of the art sheep wagon for no extra cost...
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Oh they quickly adapt to city living... if they get a bit mucky indoors they benefit from being turned out regularly and appreciate the fresh air:
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(Think i need to get a life!!!)
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[ QUOTE ]
Oh PLEASE don't joke. Someone is going to take you seriously, and what's more, they're going to take you seriously whilst ON THEIR WAY to MacDonalds.
Can any of them play basket ball? Do I need an orange crook?

[/ QUOTE ]

Joke?!!!
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This is a matter of life and death!
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They are very very trainable...tho being scottish sheep, their game is of course football!

Orange crooks? No but let me sell you a green mint crook- they are far more effective training aids- which is why they cost sooo much more.

Now would I "fleece" you?!!!
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[ QUOTE ]
I'll take 2! those poor poor lambs
frown.gif
they have to spend a whole year living like a sheep only to be slaughter at the end of the nightmare.

I assume when it starts peeing and pooing all over my house and escapes onto the road causing an accident I'll be able to sell it on? There must be a market for these cute fluffy creatures...and I don't mean on a plate..I'm an organic vegan with bunny hugging tendancies
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Selling on shouldn't be a problem, you can put them on PROJECT SHEEP
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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'll take 2! those poor poor lambs
frown.gif
they have to spend a whole year living like a sheep only to be slaughter at the end of the nightmare.

I assume when it starts peeing and pooing all over my house and escapes onto the road causing an accident I'll be able to sell it on? There must be a market for these cute fluffy creatures...and I don't mean on a plate..I'm an organic vegan with bunny hugging tendancies
laugh.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Selling on shouldn't be a problem, you can put them on PROJECT SHEEP
smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

PMSL! Excellent!
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...But of course you won't have to sell them on- these are quality animals
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Of course, Project Sheep.
So, even if after a couple of years I can't get near them, even with my green crook and my gender reassigned parelli trained poodle sheepdog, I will be able to sell them on for about four grand each, as having huge potential, right?
(Don't worry I will insist that they go to a Natural Sheepmanship yard, with stock fence for sticking head through, and if necessary small dips in ground to roll over and die in.) Do any of them specifically need yards of tangled brambles to drag round with them for months at a time?
 
I do hope ewe are feeling very sheepish about this thread. We're not all gullible fools who can have the wool pulled over our eyes ewe know: there will be serious ram-ifications should everyone flock around and take part in your wooly-brained scheme.

And whilst we're at it, I'll take four - they'd look ever so sweet pulling a cart and they'll make great lawn mowers. Can you have them parcelled up and posted to me, save all that transporter nonsense. Ta.
 
No no no, you are going about this all the wrong way. You need to set up a "sponsor a shetland lamb" scheme. People send £15 pound a month and get regular updates on their sheepy friend. They will recieve an offical sponsorship certificate, photograph and genuine authentic strand of fleece.

No transport costs and you can have several different sponsors for the same lamb. they can visit by arrangement only (random sheep in pen with WORD generated lamenated name plaque on gate).

I will expect a cut of profits for this!!!!
 
Apparently you can set up this type of scam, sorry business opportunity, with French Meat Horses too.....

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[ QUOTE ]
No no no, you are going about this all the wrong way. You need to set up a "sponsor a shetland lamb" scheme. People send £15 pound a month and get regular updates on their sheepy friend. They will recieve an offical sponsorship certificate, photograph and genuine authentic strand of fleece.

No transport costs and you can have several different sponsors for the same lamb. they can visit by arrangement only (random sheep in pen with WORD generated lamenated name plaque on gate).

I will expect a cut of profits for this!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

This scam, sorry, scheme could have potential- although I did try to get my mum to "adopt" a landrover, to be cared for at my "reserve" but that fell flat on it's a**e, despite the wickle defender promising to write often!
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As for the strand of fleece- it would have to come complete with dried on poo- for authenticity's sake!!!

When we were kids, my brother and I also thought about bottling Shetland spring water- complete with month dead soggy sheep flavouring, as no burn (stream) up here is complete without the obligatory dead sheep!

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