SO hacked off with the people at my yard

LankyDoodle

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OK so lots of you know I lost my mare to EVIL laminitis 2 weeks ago. It was not related to her weight (she had an off fore leg infection, recovered well and then the laminitis), but the goodness of the grass did not help and also the fact she was a heavyweight cob.

Anyway, when she died, of course it was a massive devastating blow and made me hyperprotective of my big boy. The mare was my husband's ride so he is now helping me with George. I overhauled EVERYTHING. He now gets ridden more than he's EVER been ridden, but it's not excessive - he's schooled once a day usually and will be hacked at least once a day, often twice as my husband likes to keep his hand in as well. He was a bit cresty but even though he's a good doer, he never gorged or got as big as our mare.

I was concerned about his weight as I know this can also lead to laminitis, and his crest only became more noticeable when I hogged him just after my mare died. It's not huge and is soft to touch, but it's still there and still concerns me. His belly wasn't too bad - you could just about feel his ribs, but his rump was like a big juicy apple. I knew the riding would help and he doesn't get a hard feed in summer, plus he gets soaked hay in summer anyway, plus his field is cut down so he is on an eaten down paddock in summer. But I also decided to cut his grazing down and muzzle him. This seems to be helping, with the riding, as I can now feel his ribs more easily (although still a little way to go) and the crest has shrunk, although the rump is still a problem (he's a hw cob as well). He's looking much better as he is more muscled up already and with his naturally shiny, dappled bay coat, he looks the picture of health. BUT HE IS STILL FAT AND I WILL NOT STOP DIETING HIM UNTIL I AM HAPPY WITH HIS WEIGHT!

So tell me why people at the yard insist on telling me different! A bit of background on the other owners at the yard:
1) quite experienced, likes showing her coloured cob and is very nice, knowledgeable, keeps her beak out!
2) A nearly retired man and his wife (who doesn't ride but does do stable jobs). He follows racing avidly, has owned a 22 year old ex-racer for 5 years, and keeps him VERY overweight, riding him once a week at the most for abour 45 minutes. Now I never judge him outwardly, because that is up to him, but I just want to make clear that they are not knowledgeable people...
3) A woman who leaves her horse out 24/7, never visits it (we are talking once every 3 or 4 weeks these days, and we are DIY). The YO paid for the horse's feet to be trimmed as they were so bad. Keeps herself to herself when we do see her.
4) A reaasonably knowledgeable woman who keeps 2 horses (usually 3) and competes her unfit horses
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She can stick her beak in but hasn't since my husband told her to keep it out, and actually on this she does support us.
5) A late 50s woman who seems to know a bit, but is head honcho of the clique which includes her, the ex-racer's owners and another person. They are not offensive or bullying, but do exclude people a bit. Nearly lost her mare to laminitis a few years ago.
6) Another middle aged woman who leaves her mare out 24/7 and only comes when the farrier does, every 8 weeks. The mare has had laminitis before and also grass sickness, for which she was hospitalised.
7) The sister of number 6 who was introduced to the yard when she had to look after no 6's horse more and more. She now has her own horse and doesn't care for no 6 at all. Quite nice but again, seems to be oblivious to OBESITY!
8) A lovely, lovely lady, in her 60s, bred and broke number 7's horse, but sold it to her as she got older, with 2 horses and couldn't really cope as well. Mother of number 1.
9) Me and my husband - again, quite knowledgeable. Usually do lots of varying things with our horses, including holidays, boxing for different hacking, the odd show/dressage/fun or endurance ride/clinic/lesson and also some hunting.
10) The owner doesn't have a horse but has a big interest in racing and has previously bred racehorses (not successfully).

Now I am peed of. Very peed off. When I first started dieting George, no 7 and no 5 both said 'oh he's alright, don't diet him because you've lost your mare, it's not fair on him, they're all cresty this year, it's the grass'. I said that was fine, yes they are all cresty, but it is possibly to get rid of the crest and get him back to his usual muscled, good-looking self. A whispering campaign started behind my back (I don't think it was maliscious as they aren't very nasty people, just not as knowledgeable), where I'd get through the grapevine that people were concerned I was depriving George because of the death of our other horse, starving him even
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He gets ad-lib soaked hay, 5-6 hours turnout in a muzzle and a small feed of formula4 feet. He is not starved
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I must add that this is from numbers 2, 5 and 7 (the clique!). They seem to be trying to subtly showing their concern (not realising that I am hearing what they say about me behind my back as well) through numbers 2 and the YO, who several times EVERY TIME I AM THERE (twice a day), come up to George and say things like 'he's looking a bit lean now, isn't he?' and 'you can give him more grazing and remove the muzzle now he's thin, can't you?' and 'he looks fine, I'd stop there' or 'is he STILL going out in a muzzle?' (what, you mean after 2 weeks of dieting?) and other things. He's only been on this diet for 2 weeks and is by no means thin or anywhere close. My farrier came last week and said he is still looking on the podgy side, which is fine because I agree and am doing something about it. I ended up crying to him because I feel that people are saying I am abusing my horse! But as the farrier said, it IS usually people who are only used to seeing an obese horse and think it is healthy, who say these things unless the horse really is thin. The people who say this all have obese horses as far as I am concerned. They all have crests and 2 of them are worse than George's was when I started and the ex-racer has the biggest belly I think I have ever seen! The ex-racer is the worst on the yard, really really fat, but I never say anything to them and probably would not let it cross my mind if they weren't being like this with me. I will upload a picture of my boy later, but just to highlight, you can JUST ABOUT feel his ribs, easier than before but not easy to feel, he STILL has a crest but it is shrinking granted, and he STILL has a mahoosive apple bum.

What is their flippin' problem!? They have surely never seen a thin horse or known what starving a horse is! Just because they fill the feed buckets twice a day, give ad-lib unsoaked hay and turn out from 7am-5pm every day, riding once a week, doesn't mean that's the right way, and actually, with a fat horse it's wrong, but do I say that? NO! I am so hacked off and upset about this. I would never harm my horse and I am just trying to do the best for him
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DISGRUNTLED, DISJOINTED RANT OVER!!!!
 
If you're happy with the way Goerge is progressing and he's happy and fitter, then just let the comments flow over your head. I know it's easier said than done and you're probably still feeling vulnerable after the loss of your mare, but ignore them and carry on as you are.
 
Yikes! Poor you! What a story, and so sorry about the loss of your mare.

I think that you are doing the right thing, and the farrier has agreed. I too am surrounded by people on my yard who think that its cruel that my mare is out on basically dust, but she is a very good do'er...she also had bone spavins so need to keep the weight off so she doesn't cause herself a problem. The grief I get from people...god! I know what she should look like, I know when her belly is swaying she is overweight and I have an optimum all year weight for her, which I stick to avidly!

You have good reason to be annoyed. Just try to ignore them best you can, and when your horse doesn't get laminitis you will be happy.
 
Don't worry what they say and the best thing to do is get a letter from your farrier and vet if possible saying he is ok but just needs to lose a bit and show it to everyone. That will really show them that you know what they are saying and that it is not on. You always get this where ever you go. People just can't keep their noses out and it is always the ones who know nothing. Just breathe and stick two fingers up at themx
 
Goshh arent livery yards such a pain :@
we've had similar problems with non knowlegable people getting involved with others horse.
Also we have no yard manager, but we do have the yard owner's wife who has no knowlege at all, she seems to think she runs the yard and can tell us how to treat our horses sayin They are under weighyt or that I (8 stone 5ft5) am too big for capella(14.2 anglo arab)
urgh it drives you crazy!
U think he's too thin?
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he's a 24 year old IDx
Caz XXX
 
I would let the comments flow over your head to be honest. YOU know YOUR horse better than they do. You know when he's overweight and when he's just right.

So sorry you lost your mare in that awful way
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Good luck with your boy and I hope he helps you get over the loss of your mare
 
poor you, you are doing all the right things, you'' just have to stick to your guns. Our yard is normally pretty chilled, it doesn't get too het up mainly due to having a great YO who is strict and on top of everything.

Allthough we have had one recent incident when someone was told by someone there pony was fat, so she removed all his hard feed, all his hay. he was then left in his limited grass field! Yo had a word though as pony is ridden every day and is fit and healthy!
 
Well firstly - sorry about your mare

But I think you need to calm down a bit - you will always get twittering idiots in all walks of life sticking their nose in, If I were you I would just ignore them - who cares what they think? Dont even interact with them, if they ask you about your horse just say little, be polite and walk off, my current yard has just started to take on afew more liveries and I have already noticed that a few of them have bunched together and have become quite twittery about other peoples animals which IMO is really sad, my phillosiphy (sp) is - go to stables, look after horse, have fun, go home - end of. I do not go up to the yard to make friends or chat - I go to the pub to do that!

Just ignore them - and if it really bothers you - move yards but I can bet you will get it wherever you go!
 
You poor thing! I think I may know the yard that you are on actually, sounds rather familiar! So frustrating when people stick their noses in and at the end of the day, you know what you are doing and know your horse.
 
Knowing how devastated you were at losing your mare I expect they're more worried about you more than anything, give it time and once they realise your horse isn't starving or turning into a skeleton they'll probably stop and back off.
 
Can we have a piccy of the aforementioned emaciated horse please?

You know you are doing right, so try and let it all wash over you. I used to fully clip my pony in winter and not rug him to keep his weight off, to mutterings of cruelty. Put it this way, he didn't die of cold and was none the worse for sleeping naked.
 
Thank you everyone. Really appreciated. I think whoever said that I was still vulnerable and the person who said I need to calm down are probably right. I am still feeling shattered and guilt-ridden by the death of my mare, and the thought that people think I am being mean to my horse makes me feel sick. They are lovely people usually - they have their quirks but I have been on really bad yards and know it is a good one as they go, as we are left to get on with it more or less, but I do wish people would not talk behind other's backs
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People are so used to seeing fat horses they think it is how they should be. It's really worrying. Well done to you for considering your horse and not listening to those numpties.
 
OH boy - been down this road before with my two! I totally sympathise, and it is very, very hard to ignore comments when they are related to something you care about a lot. But it sounds like you are doing well with him and don't let them talk you out of it. Many years ago at an old yard, an interfering busybody started feeding mine in their starvation paddock, despite one of them recovering from laminitis after a horrendous loaner. They were looking fit and healthy, but the busybody kept on feeding and even told me her vet said they were starving!

In the end it got a bit nasty and I had to put in writing that if she kept feeding them, the resulting vet's bills would be sent to her. I gave her the name and number of my own vet and invited her to talk to him about their regime... well the feeding stopped but it wasn't a nice time.

Your horse's welfare is the most important thing so try and ignore them if you can. Come winter they might have accepted that youre not happy to let your horse stand about getting fat, and by next summer they will hopefully have forgotten the whole thing! Good luck....
 
Well there you go then !!

Im sure they dont mean to be so critical and sometimes people just dont have a clue !

YOU know in your heart that nothing could have been done to save your mare and even if it had - you ar obviously not going to let it happen again! If anything - maybe the yard should follow your example and realise that horses SHOULD NOT be fat in the summer - they should never get that way in the first place!! GRRR -

dont you worry xx
 
This reminds me..there was bloke at my old yard - son of Tia's previous owner that used to move Tia onto richer grazing when I wasn't there - and Tia was a very very very fat pony back then, even now with her big belly she's a lot slimmer. They also put her rug on inside out and back to front - interesting...lol
 
It is so hard not to get upset by peoples comments when it is about something you feel so passionate about, if its any consolation, one of my ponies wears her muzzle 365 days a year, the other in summer when they go out overnight. Stick to your guns, better to have a trim maybe slightly peckish horse than a crippled one. I solved all the upset over comments by ignoring the main bitch totally, haven't spoken to her since April, & buying an iPod, just switch on & enjoy my ponies., its great!!!
 
I think having an obese horse is as cruel as having a thin one. Who do these people think they are doing a favour to? You? Your horse? No, they are trying to make themselves feel better.

You are absolutely doing the right thing and I hope you stick to your guns. It must have been a terrible shock for you to lose your mare and I am really sad for you. However I think they are playing you to make you feel guilty when you have no reason to. He is your horse and I commend you for being proactive about it rather that have a fat unhealthy horse.
 
I have 2 muzzled & one I have to feed up from time to time & I get told that it's "not fair" to feed one & not the others! The comments usually come from the owners of fatties. I've found the best way to deal with it is to smile & nod & then laugh about it afterwards.
 
You sound to be doing everything right to me, and I agree re the crest thing, our old pony was always considered by me to be at risk when he got a hard crest, and he never got laminitis with us, we loaned him and they ignored the signs and he got a severe attack.
browbrow has it right, do you really care what these other people think of you?
I discovered a long time ago the only people who's opinion's you should care about are your family and close friends. The rest mean nothing in your life so ignore them.
The trouble with DIY yards (and I speak from experience, I had 15 liveries for 25 years!) is they are often hot beds of sniping and envy.
There is a way of dealing with it and that is to go there, do your horse, don't do more than smile and talk about the weather and go home.
If anyone comments on your horse just smile and say you are currently following your vet's advice and if they feel it's wrong perhaps they would like to ring him and discuss it. They won't dare I promise.
For your own peace of mind think of riding school horses work level, they are often ridden for three hours a day, so the workload isn't too much. The feed sounds about right, the key being the soaked ad lib hay, provided he can eat he will stay happy even if it's little nutritional value. If he starts to feel lazy then perhaps up the hard feed a little.
I can tell you are feeling pressured, but read your own post again. then decide to ignore the lot of them and just enjoy your horse.
One last thought, isn't there a smaller less populated yard you could move to?
I know a lovely yard near Chard...(have a feeling you are somewhere that area?)
 
You are doing the right thing. A friend of mine lost her gelding last year and it really opened my eyes to how fat my boy was. I have moved him now so I can restrict his grazing as a muzzle wasn't an option as he takes it off. Don't let others get to you, easier said than done I know but you know you are in the right xx
 
Sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing for George. My daughter had exactly the same thing when our 2 went to a friends livery yard last summer to give our fields a break. They were both in what I would call good competition weight (competition being jumping). One other livery owner did nothing but tell everyone our horse and pony were being neglected and not fed enough. For 2 weeks in the summer my daughter looked after a friends overweight 12.2 who was also kept there. As he wasn't being ridden she cut his feed right down and lunged him daily. This same woman couldn't wait to tell the pony's owner on her return that we had been starving the pony! Luckily she was very grateful my daughter had reduced his weight a bit.
Hopefully if you just ignore them they will shut up and let you get on with looking after your own horse. So sorry to hear about the loss of your mare.
 
God!

I had exactly the same at my last yard! My pony has got more of a cresty neck this year than last, but I was putting that down to her being on a dairy farm/livery. Anyway, had a chat to Dengie as I feed the good-dooer cos it has added vits an mins for those on a diet, and it turns out that cos I wasn't giving her the recommended ration (cos she gains weight on it), that I should bump up her vits and mins. Turns out our natives will retain more fat if their vit an min levels are not maintained. She was also lacking in "enthusiasm" so I was feeding 50ml scoup of pasture mix....you'd think that would work...nope, so she is now on naked oats to give her a bit of "presence" when we go to comps...not sure how its working at th mo, but my instructor is schooling her today so will see what she thinks when she calls later on.
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