So sorry but another cat q. I feel so bad

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poiuytrewq

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Trying to help the stray cat who lived on the farm we moved into. She was clearly starving, terrified of people and not doing so great. She was seen with several litters and became skin and bone with feeding babies.
We eventually caught her and caged her, along with one remaining kitten from her last litter.
I linked a few dog cages together and put them in a stable. Firstly fed her up and got some weight on her and she started to look so much better. She lost her scabs and started to look almost healthy. Got to the point I could stroke her head a little when she was eating.
Took her to the vet and she was spayed, wormed and flea'd along with kitten who's a boy but only one testicle had dropped so they wanted him back in a month. They said he was about 13 was and the mother could be freed as old enough to be seperate.
I let her go after a further week but continue to provide food and water by the stables.
Kitten I brought into the house in a cage. He's loose much of the time but is very timid/nasty tiger like! He bolts back to his cage bed if we are around or hides. I'm slowly starting to win him over with ham and thick leather gloves!
However, here's the issue and it's breaking my heart. Mumma cat comes and sits looking in the back door for him. I just came in and they are sat opposite sides of the glass wanting to be together.
I've popped him back in his cage and opened the door for her but think I've scared her off. Don't know what I'm planning if she does come back either tbh?!
Do I let kitten go to live life wild but together or attempt to re-catch her and bring her inside to try and tame aswell.
I'm not expecting lap cats but ones that live here and can get food/warmth and shelter 24/7 (pref without attacking me!)
Or do I persevere in the theory all kittens and mothers get split and cope and she has lost or had previous kittens leave and coped, why not this one?
Am I being cruel?!
 
I homed a feral cat like this from a cat rescue. She also had problems letting her last kitten go. We had her eight years and in all that time I never touched her, OH could occasionally but only on her terms. TBH she was never happy, it didn't help that she had only one eye, which made her even more insecure. We gave her everything she needed but sadly I think all she wanted was a return to her previous life and have yet more kittens. Many feral cats are successfully 'tamed' but some.. it will never happen. In your position I would get the kitten fully castrated and then let him loose with his mum, leaving food out for them daily.
 
Ladyinred said:
I homed a feral cat like this from a cat rescue. She also had problems letting her last kitten go. We had her eight years and in all that time I never touched her, OH could occasionally but only on her terms. TBH she was never happy, it didn't help that she had only one eye, which made her even more insecure. We gave her everything she needed but sadly I think all she wanted was a return to her previous life and have yet more kittens. Many feral cats are successfully 'tamed' but some.. it will never happen. In your position I would get the kitten fully castrated and then let him loose with his mum, leaving food out for them daily.
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That's the plan really. I think another 3 weeks and he can go back to the vets and be castrated. It's this interim bit with her being desperate for him back. I even dreamed of her last night!!!
 
I'd definitely keep the kitten in until you can get him neutered. Much better prospects for him long term. If he hasn't come round by then I would consider letting him be a yard cat, but feed daily so you can keep an eye on them.
I would probably catch and try to tame her at least until he's ready to be allowed out, but I do t think there's a right or wrong answer on that one. She will get over separation from him and might find being kept in / taming attempts stressful. A lot of ferals are never really happy round people. Otoh if she could be tamed it's an easier life for her and easier for you to get treatment, vacs etc for her as required. Do whichever makes you happiest but be aware it's a long shot if you try and giving up is an option.
 
We've had lots of feral cats and kittens over the years . Once they are safely neutered we have usually let them back outside to live in the stables. The kittens usually stay friendly and come into the house as and when they want...usually when the wood burner is lit. However, our kittens were handled from birth, if yours hasn't had much human contact until 13wks, he may take quite a long time to come around. The mothers always stay half wild, some suffer a stroke and some not.
I'd wait until after he's been neutered and see if he is becoming tame..he will let you know where he wants to live...and his mum won't forget him, no matter how long you take.
 
My cat loved her kitten til it was 6 months then that was is she spat at her and chased her away all the time. If you are going to keep him once he's neutered then I wouldn't worry too much. Leave the door open and him shut in and she might venture in which won't do her any harm.
 
There have been studies which show that the important time for cats to become accustomed to human contact is up to around three months of age, and I guess there is some leeway up to several months old. But unhandled adults never really are happy in a human environment, although I do know a few exceptions. So what I am saying is mum will be happier living outside if she can stay in contact with him, rather than trying to get her to be a house cat.
 
I not sure of the mothers life, we have been here 18 months and she's always been seen a bit. We started feeding her ages ago. Long before catching. She was wild but fairly quickly let me stroke her head whilst eating. Made me wonder if she wasn't feral but once had human contact, maybe a lost pet or owned by someone who moved? Don't know but she was better than vicious wild that I'd expected.
When she returned from the vet she was vicious wild! I'd have been scared to try and touch her!
I'm going to put extra food on the door step where she sits looking in, incase she's hungry. (Used to being fed on tap the last few weeks)
She only comes at night so although I did leave the door open last night for a while, sadly I scared her away when I unlocked it. It's getting a bit cold and obviously don't want to leave it unlocked overnight.
 
If you have already touched her you'll be able to again. Obviously the catching/neutering etc will have been traumatic and painful for her so she is a bit more cautious. But she'll probably come around with time.

We had a tom we tamed over a few months who ended up as a complete lap cat. But we didn't do the snip until he was already an inside cat. Obvs different when you're trying to prevent kittens and have a female. But should still be doable. The feeding helps!
 
I think you should write him off as a pet and just muddle through for the next few weeks putting no pressure on him. Keep checking for that extra nut and when its there get him to the vets for neutering and he will be ready to go out pretty much straight away (its the girls whose recovery time is longer)

The likely hood is she doesnt want to be best buddies with him, cats are solitary by nature and although there are cats out there who enjoy other cat(s) for company its more often than not that they just tolerate each other because we are cat crazy and cant stop collecting them and forcing them to live together, lol.

Most likley scenario: Someone got a kitten and loved it very much, said kitten came into season and wasnt speyed. Tom cats pestered and chased the life out of her and she ended up getting lost far from home. Litter after litter meant she became more and more feral until you got her and speyed her.

My bet is once he is out of the way she will come right and be your pet cat but that's just a guess and we've had a lot of 'feral' cats and brought them good .... a lot so yes I am an expert, lol ;)
 
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