so... thinking about riding again

[ickelshadow]

its been 5 weeks since i lost Shadow, and whilst i still obviously miss her loads, i didnt think i'd miss the contact of horses in general as much as i am - maybe i'm just trying to find a link to her, i dont know!

i went to see one of Shadows old best friends on saturday, and embarassingly enough i was in tears!

pathetic! but i was thinking on the way back that maybe i should have a lesson or something, to see how i feel, but i'm torn what to do

should i go and ride my friends horses as they've kindly offered, or should i do something completely separate on my own? most of my friends horses are lovely in there own way, some very special, but they are not Shadow, and i know i'll compare them. but the same can be said of riding school horses - it just means i can slate them and not upset anyone!

i'm so bored at weekends that i dont really know what to do with myself, so i want to do something, just dont know what...

any advise??

 

[hellspells]

When I lost my girly I was lucky enough to have another one to focus on and that helped me through.

If you do decide to ride again, if you ride with a friend they'll be more likely to take things slowly with you and if you do need to have a breakdown and cry they'll have more time and patients (SP) than a riding school where things really need to fit into there time slot.
I still cry about my girl every now and again - I think that we all react differently and whats right for one is not always for someone else.

Good luck I hope you can have fun with the horses again.

 

[Hovis_and_SidsMum]

I think that you have already answered your question in so far as you've said none of them will be Shadow and that you'll naturally compare them to her. I'd guess your friends know that and that thats ok by them. They know that none of their horses will be her and thats right - she was herself alone, just as each of their horses are individuals.
I don't know what level rider you are so i guess that answers whether to go to a riding school or not. If you and Shadow were beyond walking around in circles then I'd borrow a friends horse.
Its not about slating any other horse though is it? Its about acknowledging them for what they are, what they're capable of. It won't bring your girl back and it won't ease the pain or it not being her but it will help ease the ache of wanting to be around other horses.

 

[YorksG]

Give it a try, I often wonder what people without horses/riding do in the evening and at weekends. We lost our big girls at Easter and my sister has bought another one a few weeks on. She is not a replacement for the big girl, but is a horse in her own right. It is a little different for us as we had two still to look after, but go for a ride and see how you feel.

 

[nikkiportia]

Personally, I'd say go for it. But you're the one to know if you are ready. The fact that you're thinking about it is a good sign though surely? Give it a go, hop on one of your friends horses, and see how you feel.

When I lost my mare, I was looking for a new one within the month. I found the extra time I had without her just made me miss her more. I personally needed something else to concentrate on. Nothing would replace her, but could help fill the empty hole she left. I've had many since, and although none can ever fill her shoes, each one has been just as special in their own ways. And I've loved them just as much!

Good luck, whatever you decide
N x

 

[Persephone]

I lost my two horses 3 weeks apart

One had severe laminitis and the other was arthritic so I only ever rode her for 20 minutes.

I knew that I didn't have the courage to start trying other horses so I had a couple of lessons a week while I was looking.

I feel that this was more constructive in my case as it gave me a huge confidence boost and sharpened my riding up, making me happy to try new horses.

I'm so sorry for your loss, there will be another one out there for you, just might take time to find him/her.

Jo x

 

[pocket]

I too was lucky to have Ralph when I lost Fly. And even now 3 years on, I still get emotional when I come across something of his. It does get better though honestly.

With regards to riding other horses, you need to do what you feel is best for you. I remember when my first sec D died, the YO let me look after his brood mare, although it got me back to horses, I found it quite hard to look after someone elses horse. Eventually after 3 months of driving my family and OH mad, I was told to go and get a horse of my own......

I never looked back with Fly, although he was not at all like Bren, he definately challenged me in different ways

Go with your heart

 

[ickelshadow]

thanks for all your kind replies. i think i will give my old boss a call and see if i can steal one of her lovely neddies for sit on.

as far as experience goes hovis_and_sidsmum, i'd like to say varied and accomplished if not in a competitive sense. have worked on competition livery yards, broken in ponies to shire horses to ride and drive, and been responsible for some stunning Sj, GP dressage horses and telented youngsters. i'd get on anything and be happy about it, and 99% of the time get a nice tune out of them as a minimum, and i tend to get on best with complete nut jobs.

whilst Shadow was an ex-riding school pony and 28 when i lost her, she was a 'reformed' riding school (as in the one that find a whole new lease of life!) and had spent time with Jennie Lorriston clarke - i.e. no slow poke and with some serious talent. i bought her as she had always been my favourite riding school pony, and she followed me to about 3 yards adn it took me 8.5years to get the chance to buy her - never regretted a second.

i'm thinking about lessons because i've not had on ein years, and i think its been about 4-5 years since i had regular lessons! Given that shadow was of and age and size where she was slightly easier to manage, i think i need to brush up and sharpen up my lapsed skills before i think about buying anything or taking anything on loan etc as i'd rather do them justice.

i think that just riding other horses will do this for me, but i think i'd like some lessons at some stage. is there anyone here who regularly goes to a riding school, or do most have lessons at home or not have any?

 

[Ellies_mum2]

I'm usually a happy hacker but had my first lesson in more years than I care to remember yesterday. Thoroughly enjoyed it too

Don't know if my instructor enjoyed it as much as me though

I would probably have another one if she can face it lol

Good luck with riding again (((hugs)))

 

[brighteyes]

That's the news I have been waiting to hear - and I think you might be just the person for rehabilitating a racehorse! How's about that for an idea?

Get on the Internet and trawl around the RoR sites - see if there's anything which catches your eye. If you think you like the look of something, then you are ready to look. I am pleased you aren't going to 'waste' the chance to give another horse what you so brilliantly and devotedly gave to Shadow. Good for you and do keep me up to the minute with what you find

Me and Polly xx