So tired....

Wagtail said:
I feel tired just reading that!

I never even considered doing DIY whilst I was working full time. It was knackering enough just going to ride after work. I really don't know how some of you do it. My job was the kind where I often had to stay late though. I had to be seen to be working extra hours even when we weren't that busy. It was just the culture of the place. I would not have been able to stand the stress of also having a horse that needed attending to. But even if I had had a 9 to 5 job, I would have found it too much. My OH would not have liked it either, even before the children came along.
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I have 3 on DIY and work full time, i also run 3 or 4 times a week. I pay less for 3 horses on DIY that i'd pay to have 1 on full livery, full livery is not an option for me! I'd need to earn triple what i do now for that to ever be a consideration :(

My life is pretty much same as OP's and others that have posted. My OH goes to the gym before & after work too so we are out of the house similar times :)
 
That is such a busy schedule. So many good suggestions. I second batch cooking, I usually make food on quieter days to do for the next 2-3 days. Also meals like egg fried rice are super easy and quick (buy the ready cooked rice from Aldi), chuck in some frozen veg, soy sauce and an egg. Really healthy and quick.

Is there anyone at the yard you can share turn out with? Myself (I share a horse) and another girl on my yard share turnouts and bring ins so she turns both out in the morning, saving me a morning trip and I bring in later on.

Also I'd suggest a sharer, horses aren't fussed about how nice their bed is etc, they don't care about these things as much as we do! Also there are sharers out there who will care for your horse just as much as you, and will offer you some breathing space at the same time. I share currently, but also have one of my own (back home, I was a student, trying to gather enough money now to move her eventually), and I'd definitely consider sharing her. You just need to find the right person, just take your time and 'interview' people/offer a trial period etc to put your mind at rest.

Hope you get it all sorted, animals are such a big commitment but they are so worth it. You sound like you're doing really well with your horse so its not for nothing. :)
 
It seems to me you spend a hell of a lot of time doing things for the animals and I can see this is because you're obviously a caring and fastidious owner and want to do the right thing but I think maybe you need to lower your standards a little and relinquish a little bit of control for the sake of your sanity? Some suggestions:
- Deep litter her bed so mucking out doesn't take so long?
- Don't change rugs, turnouts are fine as stable rugs and dry better on the horse if they get wet.
- If you want to ride as often as you do, how about reducing the time you ride for by 15 mins - even if that only leaves you 20 minutes to ride each day, there's a lot you can do in that time.
- Look at your morning routine at home, I have mine down to a fine art and can be out the door in 20 mins. I get all my clothes ready the night before so I don't have to think about what to wear, just jump in the shower, clean my teeth, stick a bit of make-up on, get dressed and get out the door. I'm lucky in that my hair looks no different whether I dry it or not so I just turn the hot air blowers on full in the car! I eat breakfast at my desk.
- can you cut your lunch to 30 mins so you can leave work earlier? I'm sure the dogs will be fine with a quick wee and a run.
- If you've got everything ready in the morning, why do the evenings take you over an hour? Surely getting her in, picking her feet out and changing rugs only take 5 minutes?
- Even better, if everything's ready, can someone else get your horse in for you? Even if it costs you a bit of money I'm sure you'd gladly pay £20 a week not to feel like this? You could then let the dogs have a run on the way home from work and, combined with an earlier finish from work be home an hour and a half earlier?

Hope you can find some ways of making things a bit easier.
 
Well Ive got to go and lie down just from reading all your schedules. I am retired now so have plenty of time but when I was working everything was broken down into 15 minute slots! You need to ease up or you will end up having to take time off from everything .
You sometimes have to let things slide a little, do what is absolutely necessary and let the other bits go, you will soon get used to it !
I stopped making horses beds with "hospital corners" and picking every bit of poo out, after all the first thing that happens horse walks in trashes beds and poos, they don't care if its absolutely level
 
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Its tricky isn't it, making stuff fit. I know with my horse i have tried for so long to make sure I ride 6 or 7 days a week, its amazing how much better i felt when I gave myself a break through the winter and aimed for 3 days in the week and both weekend days. Those two days off in the week just gave me a bit of breathing space.
This used to be my routine:
5am-7am get up, breakfast, go up to yard, muck out whilst soaking hay for evening, ride and turn out
7am-7:30am - second breakfast (very important!) make sandwich, go to work
8am at my desk at grown up job, work through my lunchbreak
4pm drive home
4:30pm-5pm change and dinner (cereal)
5-6pm bring in and put to bed
6-6:45pm drive in to city for second job as fitness instructor
7pm til 10pm teach fitness classes (pole dancing)
10pm til 11pm clean up studio and drive home, bed

Repeat

Something had to give, whilst i loved everything I did I was dangerously tired. So I had to give up my second job and took the pressure off and switched to riding 5 times a week through winter, 6 or 7 in summer, and you know what, my horse seems to thrive on it. especially in winter when more arena work and less hacking is inevitable, it stops him getting stale on me, so I school him twice, loose school once and hack or go somewhere different at the weekend. He has a muscle disease but i think as long as he is turned out with enough space he is fine.

I now so 5:30 get up, feed, muck out field etc,
Home by 6:45, do a 20 minute workout for myself (energises me and if i leave it til the end of the day i won't do it)
At work by 8:30 - I take a break at lunch to either have a walk or catch up on facebook/emails/HHO
Home 17:00, have some proper dinner and get to yard for 6pm
Up to horses and accept I have to ride in the dark so usually end up riding 7pm to 8pm but on less days of the week.
And i'm now starting to take on a couple of personal training clients but ones who come to me so i don't lose time driving to them. I do still feel tired but much better than before, even though I do miss teaching my classes.

Good luck sorting your schedule out!
 
Snuffles said:
Well Ive got to go and lie down just from reading all your schedules. I am retired now so have plenty of time but when I was working everything was broken down into 15 minute slots! You need to ease up or you will end up having to take time off from everything .
You sometimes have to let things slide a little, do what is absolutely necessary and let the other bits go, you will soon get used to it !
I stopped making horses beds with "hospital corners" and picking every bit of poo out, after all the first thing that happens horse walks in trashes beds and poos, they don't care if its absolutely level
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My mare must hate a tidy bed! First thing she does is poo, wee and make like a tornado to mess up the bed! She now just gets a flat bed - loads of straw - so she can get it just the way she likes it :D
 
This thread has made me feel better in that i'm not the only one getting up at 4;30 am sorting dogs, pony, liveries then work ( with dog) then home and pony and liveries_ usually asleep on sofa within seconds of the end of emmerdale! I have been trying to ride 5 x a week as my pony is a tad overweight but i have been struggling the last couple of weeks with mornings being too dark at the moment. By the time i get home riding is more like a chore than a pleasure. Like the others i think 3 long walks a day can be cut to two as your dogs are at work with you, also i would say 4 days a week riding is ample through winter. I only do housework at weekends and i definately don't iron!! you can't do everything perfect always! Take heart in that you aren't the only one that feels like this, make a few adjustments and give yourself a little me time!
 
That's one exhausting life. I did a version of that a couple of years ago and then went full livery, it just wasn't funny anymore and i started to resent horse owning.

Good advice above, i echo the person that said cut down the evening stuff. Or at least one side of the day. If you do everything in the morning and ride, i can't see why the evening routine should take any more than a few minutes. Change rug, chuck hay in, kiss nose and go. Or even better do the dual turnout rugs, so no change of rugs, get someone else to bring in a couple of times a week and then don't go down. Trust them. Chuck a massive haynet in so you don't need to go up there. Or do everything in evening and get someone to turn out for you in the morning so you can have a lie in.
 
If it was me, I would buddy up with someone. You do morning, they do evenings. You turnout for them, they bring in for you especially since you leave everything done for the evening.

Our dogs are happy with 1 long walk a day, so I am sure yours will be fine if in the evening they just get let out for a wee, they have been with you all day so they don't need the evening walk. Even if they are a bit hyper for a few days they will get used to the new routine.

Make evenings "your" time. You deffo deserve it with a routine like that!
 
Gosh, I'm another who feels exhausted just reading your schedule TBH I'd definitely pay for someone to do the horse in the evening for me and cut down on the dog walking. However, currently you are spending nearly 3 hours a day at the yard doing one horse and walking the dogs. My horses are on rubber mats with a decent bed of straw pellets, I'm pretty old but I can muck out a stable in 20 minutes, quicker if I need to, tacking up takes 5 minutes and a schooling session 45 max. I'm lucky that my turnout is very close to stables so it's a quick job to turn out and fetch in. If I was pushed for time I'd use a turnout rug as a stable rug. There are lots of ways of saving time without compromising care and if you muck out quickly during the week you can always do it very thoroughly at the weekend. However, you need to want to change and make your life better! sometimes when we get very tired we can't see the woods for the trees. good luck, I hope you find a better way of doing things that's makes you less tired and a lot happier!
 
No, you don't need to accept that this has to be your life. Trying to be superwoman has consequences. i wonder if there's something else that's causing such a physical drive. When I'm anxious, I start to deep clean my house. It's a coping mechanism. You mentioned a divorce. Plus a recent relationship break up. I think you need to evaluate your life and have some fun again. Yes, keep your horses, your dogs but, you have to change something or your break. Xx
 
Wow! Thanks for so many replies - I feel supported, thank you 😊

You've all raised some really good and helpful points, a lot of which I do already.

Evening prep of clothes, lunch etc for the following day - totally on it. Batch cooking / slow cooker - yep, totally, couldn't be without my slow cooker. Laundry on timer and hang up in the evening - yep. Ironing - strictly weddings and funerals only, lol. Housework - as and when I can be bothered, I might be OCD about my horses legs but certainly not about my kitchen floor 😂.

I semi deep litter, the wet comes out once a week on a weekend. I fill all bets for the week on a weekend.

Evening riding not an option, the ménage is usually booked till at least 7.30pm if not later. I do have in the evenings in summer sometimes but generally I find me and her are at our best in the mornings.

Part or full livery not an option due to cost.

Sharing duties or paying for put to bed some evenings is a possibility. I will look into this.

Shorter dog walks also a possibility - in actual fact probably inevitable due to weather and darkness.

Riding less - not an option. Nuff said! And yes, I do a lunge session usually once a week.

Changing my mental-emotional frame of mind.... yes, you are probably right, I need to do this. An emotional reason why I live my life on overdrive.... probably, but I daren't even go there...

Thanks all once again for your input xxx
 
I am feeling exactly the same way at the moment OP so you do have my sympathy!

I have 2 x ponies, 1 x dog, full time job and an OH who doesn't really help much! ;)

I have had to change my routine a little due to moving house and being further away from the horses/work.

My old routine consisted of the following:
7:00am - grab the dog, go to the stables, turn out, put beds up
7:30am - walk the dog for 20 mins
8:00am - get home and ready for work
8:30am - arrive at work
12pm - 1pm - lunch time, walk the dog for half an hour, grab a snack
1pm - 5pm - work
5:20 - go home, get changed, get the dog, arrive at the stables, finish off stables, do hay/water/feed, bring in groom, exercise, put to bed etc.
The dog runs round the stables the whole time.
7:20/30ish - Get home, shower, dinner etc


Now that my work and the stables are half an hour away from home I have had to change my routine quite dramatically. I have a dog walker for lunch times, and my YO turns out for me in the morning. So my routine is like this now:

6:45am - wake up, get ready, have breakfast etc
7:20am - walk the dog
8:00am - leave for work
8:30am - arrive at work
12 - 1pm - lunch (I now eat a big lunch to keep me going, go for a nap in my car, or go shopping)
1-5pm - work
5:20ish - arrive at the stables, muck out etc
6:00 - 6:30 - leave stables
7:00 - arrive home, walk the dog, have dinner etc

I am enjoying having the rest in the morning, and not walking the dog at lunch. Although I am still really tired, don't have any time for riding, I end up rushing at the stables so I can get back home for the dog. So some things haven't been solved, but I feel if you can maybe cut down on the time you walk your dogs it may help. My border collie is hyper to the extreme, cannot cope without 3 x walks a day and also tricky with other dogs. I find a 15 min high intensity ball throw does the job in the job in the evening.

A couple of times a week I do drive half an hour home straight after work to collect the dog, then half an hour back to the stables so I can ride, have the dog with me, and not rush.....then back home again after. It adds another hours of driving onto my day though :-( and I end up being too tired to do anymore than a quick 20/30min ride after mucking out etc.

I've just accepted at the moment that I can only ride on weekends and do the bare minimum during the week to stop myself from being exhausted!
 
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Yep, I'm taking ideas on board and giving it all some gentle thought. Others who have posted who have similar routines have made me realise that (obviously!) I'm not the only one. I think those who pointed out that frame of mind can have a huge impact are completely right. I am reminding myself that I'm enormously privileged to live the life I do, to have a beautiful horse, to have a roof over my and my beasties heads and a job that means I can support us all, (as long as I'm careful with the pennies), and I'm not reliant on anybody else to make that happen. 😊
 
I used to be you with the routine.

Things I couldn't live without: morning turnout, I did the stables and rode eves. I know you don't want it that way round but get someone to bring in eves for you. Coat shine and clippers. Get the hair off if you've a wooly one so there's less for mud to stick to and coat shine to stop the mud sticking too, means less grooming time, tails washed and combed monthly and left the rest of the time, except for a quick swish round in a bucket of plain water before riding if really disgusting. Skip out only in the week. Haynets already made. Horse lived in turnout rug so no need to worry about yard putting wrong rug on.

House things: washing in the week, washing up daily and a quick tidy mornings so I could properly relax when I did eventually come home in the eve. Weekends I didn't work, so I did all house cleaning, ironing, a weeks worth of haynets, feed delivery, long hack, full muck out, and food shopping all on one day. This left the next day as a complete day off. Horse got extra hay and I didn't set am alarm. Horse didn't die from a late turnout so I could have a massive lie in (yard didn't turnout for us on weekends). Horse not groomed or ridden just feet pick and reset rug. Stable jobs all quick as per weekdays. This left all day and eve (apart from the 2 quick yard visits) to do anything at all that I wanted to do and I was strict on this, no doing things because I felt I *should*. A proper day off used partly to get done what I wanted to eg arrange car insurance or passport or haircut or out with friends or sit around reading or a long hot bath or a horse show etc. But no people-pleasing duties and no housework or excess horse chores/riding, no scurrying around chasing my tail on errands (eg post office, new clothes, doc apts etc - used to do most of those errands at lunch times at work). That one real day off, a day to sleep as much as I needed and to really rest up and mentally relax, made such a massive impact and meant I could cope with the rest of the week.
 
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