So upset, feel used and taken for an idiot, sorry its long.

Thank you guys for the hugs taking time to read my post on it all...I know it was very long.

I think it has helped me just putting it into words actually and got most of it out of my system to be honest.

My head is clearing now a bit but you know when your head aches with all the upset and things mulling around in your head, but you can't help getting sentimental and attached to them, thats why I'm upset.

The thing is when all this started last night I'd just set off out on her on a hack with another livery, when I got the phone call, I spent the rest of my ride thinking this would be my last hack on her and blubbering rather than pointing that she was the one benefiting, not only that but I should of had the balls to tell her what's for but I just couldn't I was so upset, still am.

My OH went could not believe it when I told him,neither could the other livery (as she there when it happened) and nor could the YO, they said TELL HER but I couldn't even think straight. OH was so annoyed, plus he could see how upset I was and said well why don't you offer to buy her, but I'd only be doing that because I've got attached to her and she's not exactly the sort I'd buy if I was buying another, so it wouldn't be for the right reasons.

The whole Mackenzie thing (for those who have not followed my posts) basically he's still young, but then finding out he's younger than I was told, before then the whole rig thing and waiting for his HRT jab, before then the saddles (find ont that to fit due to his shape) issues with his back (not serious but could of been) back person confirming what I suspected all along (even posted about it on here) that I thought his saddle was too big (18'') despite being told my saddle fitter and someone else it was absolutely fine....just lots of little things that has unable us to do much, which is fine because there is no rush hence why I wanted another horse but something I could happily hack out and compete and look after and love as much as my own but can't afford to buy another as I've not got 4k sitting around in my bank.

The latest is I've just heard (she's rang the other livery that was with me last night) to sound things out no doubt, anyway she wants to start riding her again, which is totally fine but I think she just timed it right over winter so I'd sort her mare and and took advantage of the finanical benefits, obviously got behind with her livery and tried it on by getting out of me, pulling my heart strings and now saying she wants money for her keep (which is fine if that what she wants from now) but she'll have to find someone else, her problems and spare time are not my responsibility nor am I paying for it after her sudden change of wind.

Ive text her and just said her tack will be in the tack room after work ready for her to collect.

It was nice while it lasted, hope your mummy treasures you like I did Ro.

My lastest pics of her and the last ones.
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Aw, Kenzo, you look such a happy pair in those pics. I really feel for you. What an idiot this woman is. Even if she realises she's an idiot, the relationship is soured, now. I doubt she'd find a deal like this anywhere. I refused a horse on loan recently for these reasons. They gave a huge long list of 'issues', which I was confident I could sort, but alarm bells rang loud and clear re: them 'changing their mind' and wanting their horse back. It's happened to me once before and I know exactly how heartbreaking it is. I couldn't even stay with the trailer when my loan horse left (she collected him the next day). I had to walk away, not being able to see for tears of anger and heartbreak. You have done the right thing, but it's such a sad story that this mare won't have you to work with her.
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I think most of us have been in a similar situation over the years where loaning/sharing is concerned. It's very upsetting, and truthfully that's why I bought my own horse so it couldn't happen again.
 
Hugs hun ((((hugs)))))

What an awful situation for you, and a "friend" did that to you??!!!!
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I think you're doing the right thing btw, although it must be heartbreaking for you.
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You are right to make a stand.

Believe me, there are lots of people out there like this. Sadly, they prey on people with good natures and the horse's best interests at heart. Often, they reap the reward and shatter the other person's heart and friendship!
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I hope she comes to her senses and realises what she's done!!
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oh im gutted for you and the horse.i bet she loved having you caring for her,in fact your photos have made me cry.sadly the reality is some people are selfish idiots and take advantage of nice natured people like you.
 
Tell her to take her horse and stuff it - she has a crap horse, no time or ability to change it. You are doing her a massive favor and in all honesty if you are progressing with her horse you should be charging her per ride.

The horse is not want you initial wanted, the owner is being incredibly rude - back out of it and get a horse you can have fun with.
 
i'm going to go against the grain here...

i'm also a softie, and i also have a soft spot for that litltle mare...

whilst i think the owner has been completely out of order, if i were you, i'd be nice to her, and try to find out why she's reacted like this.

it may well be that she can see the good work you've done and wants the horse to herself, but it also may be that she's having a really tough time after losing her job etc. i presume it was out of character for her?

if i were you, i'd ring/text her and ask to meet for a coffee. and i'd be honest. you've got nothing to lose, and honesty is often the best policy. tell her the truth about what this looks like to you. ask her what's caused it- be sympathetic cos she might be really low. there's no point in trying to work out who's right or wrong (she's obviously in the worng), but instead try to get the best outcome for you all from this.
she was benefitting from you riding Ro, you were benefitting from you riding Ro, and Ro was benefitting too...

see if you can move forward as a loaner, but perhaps draw up an agreement this time (so it's clear for everyone). maybe 6 or 12 months at a time. it seems a shame that you all lose out because she's been a tw*t once. maybe she's woken up this morning feeling really bad? she's admitted she deals with things by getting grumpy, perhaps she was having a really bad day, and had a huge pile of bills land on her doorstep that morning.

good luck with whatever you decide to do... and shame you don't live nearer, i have a darling horse looking for a rider whilst i'm a big fat porker. xxxx
 
No she made it clear that she now wants money for her livery as well and its not the only time she's gone full guns blazing to get what she wants without a care for anyones feelings, which is why she fell out with someone else on the yard, was her very close friend (this is going back 5 years ago and was a personal issue with her and both there horses....over something really stupid like not bring her mare in when other liver had left hers out) I will not emotionally blackmailed just so she can get an even better deal out of it.

I have since heard that she is now wanting to get back riding her again which is great, but why should I do all the work and pay when all she has to do is turn up and ride....and undo my hard work when she makes the horse nervous and more unpredictable, the poor mare would just be confused as we are two very different riders that handle horses in a different way, it would be counter productive and a waste of money.

Otherwise I would, my OH even said well do you think she'll sell her to you, but then she's not really something I'd buy.
 
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No she made it clear that she now wants money for her livery as well and its not the only time she's gone full guns blazing to get what she wants without a care for anyones feelings, which is why she fell out with someone else on the yard, was her very close friend (this is going back 5 years ago and was a personal issue with her and both there horses....over something really stupid like not bring her mare in when other liver had left hers out) I will not emotionally blackmailed just so she can get an even better deal out of it.

I have since heard that she is now wanting to get back riding her again which is great, but why should I do all the work and pay when all she has to do is turn up and ride....and undo my hard work when she makes the horse nervous and more unpredictable, the poor mare would just be confused as we are two very different riders that handle horses in a different way, it would be counter productive and a waste of money.

Otherwise I would, my OH even said well do you think she'll sell her to you, but then she's not really something I'd buy.

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in that case, rise above it. you know you're right. you know you've made that horse what she is... everytime you see her being hacked out, instead of feeling sad, puff yourself up and feel proud. in the meantime, move to cambridge and ride my Raff. x
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Ok you have got a point there, thanks, I'll just miss looking after her and her pony squishing me against the wall ....not.

Maybe if i think of all the time she was a baggage, it might make me feel better I won't miss her as much lol and her pony club refusals at tje little tiny jumps and me nearly going over her head etc.

Maybe I should get my own Welshy cob
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Anyway I've got sh*tbag to give me grief he'll keep me busy and I'll get over it all soon.
 
Kenzo - sounds like you've got a talent for bringing on horses. I suggest that you stay friends with the lady and get your own horse. If you found one without problems you could cut your feed and supplement bill and put that into livery.

I think you should do something for yourself, so all your achievement can not be taken away from you at someone's whim.

If the lady wants your help with riding / helping you are £8 per hour.....
 
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