So Upset - What Should I Do???

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Fruddy

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I'm so confused and upset, I just don't know what to do.

I suffered a complete rupture of my Achilles tendon six weeks ago whilst on holiday. I have been in a cast since then, I am due back at the Hospital on the 22nd January to have the cast changed to a more 90 degree foot position, and have been told that I will have this on for approximately ten more weeks, and then have to have physiotherapy for about two months, before I can walk again without much pain. When I asked my consultant when he thinks that I may be able to ride again, he said that it would be the best part of the next nine to twelve months. The reason for this is that my tendon has become detached from my calf muscle, and as a result of this, it will take longer to heal than if my tendon itself had snapped - I wasn't given surgery because of the difficulties of attempting to attach a tendon to a muscle. Brcause of the non-surgical intervention, there is a 45 percent risk of re-rupture, so any sport that I was undertaking before the accident will have to be put on hold, until my tendon is deemed strong enough to deal with it, and since I ride and there is occasionally added stress on the heels, I have been strongly advised against it. I cannot, under any circumstances, risk a re-rupture.

Here is my difficulty.

I have my own horse, a 14.3 hh Section D cross, I have had him for six years. Because I work extremely long hours, I have always had him on full livery - good job really, now I am in this position, as there is no way that I can walk for a long time, let alone muck out.

My husband, however, who has always been supportive of me having Banjo, if a little peed off at the costs of keeping him on full livery, has now voiced the opinion that if it is going to be at least twelve months before I can ride him again, that I should sell him on and then buy another horse when I am fit and well enough to resume riding again.

I completely disagree with this, we are having major arguments about it. I can see where he is coming from in a way, I am going to spend in the region of £7,000.00 in the next twelve months keeping a horse on full livery and I am not going to be able to ride, but I cannot part with him. I'm so upset, I just don't know what to do. I have a sharer, who helps me out with the riding and contributes towards his keep, but what she gives me is a drop in the ocean, really, towards my monthly livery bill, which is currently about £700.00 per month.

Does anyone have any suggestions? We had a row about it again last night and I said that I would go away and have a think to see if there was anything that I could do to ease the financial pressure in the meantime.

If anyone can help, I would really appreciate it. Parting with Banjo would completely break my heart, I love him so much.


Thankyou.
 
If you were unable to take the dog for a walk, would he suggest getting rid of the dog until you could walk properly again? I know it is not exactly the same thing, but not far off. Best thing would be to try some sort of short term loan.
 
Would your horse be suitable for a loan home for a year - possibly a local pony club person where you could actually go and watch him compete and keep up to date with him. I know it would be painful to watch but might be the solution, and the joy of young riders is that they grow - so you would know from both sides that this only ever a temporary solution
 
could you not ask her for more money or get another sharer? Put him out on loan? These are the things I wish i HAD of done when I sold mine, and have been unable to find a horse that I like since. Speak to him again, explain how much you love him, and how much he keeps you going. Can you not move yards to part livery and ask you sharer to chip in more with duties. I hope it works out for you.
 
i am so sorry for you, what abbout 2 sharers, would be the same as if you where riding him etc, give the other person more days if poss and so charge more, or offer current sharer more for more money and get the new sharer to cover what is left as such

Bug HUGS

xx
 
I read your post on another forum and I think that the wisest decision for you at the moment is to put him out on loan.
We loaned our boy, Rocco out for a year while sis was in Australia and it was fantastic. We still owned him, he came back fit and well and we had not had to pay his keep for a year when he would not be ridden.

Alternatively, is there a choice of working livery?

What about another (one or two?!) sharers?

Sorry to hear of you predicament,.
I think Banjo is gorgeous, would love a horse like him.
x
 
Would you not think of loaning him for the year? That way you get to keep him and your hubby wont groan about paying out for livery
 
hi, really sorry to hear about your situation, i know how partners can be, my partner tries to be supportive but constantly moans about my horse and cost even though i pay it and i have to hide mickeys new purchases, i tend to lie to him just a few white ones although i dont recommend that! full loan could be an option for a 12 month contract, they could move him on to a local diy or keep at current yard if could afford to, but find someone local so you can keep abit of an eye on him, i know we all hear of nightmare loan agreements but if well vetted and good contract and understanding from day one it can go very well, hope you can sort something out, the added stress is something you dont need when your trying to get better, especially when a horse is not just a horse but often part of the family!
 
I would suggest putting him on full loan for a year, that way someone else will take over his costs for the year, yet you will still be his owner and can have him back when you are fully recovered. Perhaps your sharer would be interested in having Banjo for a year on maybe DIY livery locally, that way you would have the reassurance that Banjo was in capable hands.

Hope this helps
smile.gif
 
If it were me, I definitely wouldn't sell him if he is a sensible type. Think of potential damage an unknown quantity could do to your poor tendon!

However I wouldn't loan him either, as I hate to have anyone mess him up (plus more hossle than it is worth). So I would be on the blower to the local studs / etc to find someone who could offer long term grass livery at a reasonable rate and turn him away for a year.

Here is my local stud charges (£4.50 per day):
http://www.alvescotstud.com/page12.html
 
Where abouts in the UK are you?

Your livery bill is very very high even for full. When I was in the UK, i was paying 500 per month to livery with a GP dressage rider who had full facilities etc. That didnt included schooling but you could just let him down for the year (it actually passes rather fast btw).

Is he on some kind of schooling livery? Unless you're in the absolute centre of london, your livery seems very high :|

Is it worth shopping around for full livery elsewhere; obviously you cant do DIY or part, but i bet you can find a more competitive quote on full. But would a reduction in your livery be enough to appease your OH? I guess it depends how tight your finances are.

ETS, i still have the official quotation i got emailed to me from Oldenburg Equestrian Centre and their quote for full livery is cheaper than what you're paying. That was when we were due to be staying in london for a while.
 
Selling your horse seems a bit extreme and I know if I was in your position I wouldn't want to either. Totally understandable.

You have a few good options. You could advertise him locally, ask the sharer or ask friend etc. if anyone would be interested in loaning him for a year. I am not too sure what the loaner/owner pays as I have never loaned but it would surely cut the costs a lot, especially if he could be on DIY livery or not at a livery at all.
 
Thanks so much for all your replies. I have thought about a full loan, but would anyone just want to take him on for a year? If I was looking for a full loan, then I would be a bit put off if the owner was just willing to loan for a year.

The thing that is really p***ing me off about all this, is that if I was able bodied, then he wouldn't say a thing about the cost of the livery -hell, I've had him for six years and been paying about seven grand a year all that time - so the fact that I can't ride all of a sudden means that I've got to get rid of him???? He seems to think that because I can't ride, there's no benefit to me paying the money, but I love him so much - just being able to go down and see him, and hopefully in a few months, when I'm out of cast, albeit still not able to ride, but I can still go down and groom him, walk him in hand, maybe even ride without stirrups in walk???

It's all black and white with Lee. It's a case of:-

You have a horse to ride.

You can't ride.

You get rid.

Sod the rest of it.

And I can't think like that.
 
I would think loan would be better for all.I have my own horse but I have loaned two for my daughter the first she grew out of which was inevitable and the second we still have we love her to bits and she is treated just like my own.Her owner comes to see her and I let her ride .She wont sell her to me because she thinks at 14 2 my daughter might need to move on sometime but loans can work out really well if you meet the right match.We have a great arrangment . I still hack out with my previous loanee even though she lives 30 miles away we still keep in regular contact.Most loans work out really well if you are a good judge of character.
 
I would look for some good grass livery for the summer, where you just need to check on him once a day, if you ask around something will come up, section d's are very hardy so i would look along that route if i was in your situation and didnt want to loan him out.
 
I would loan a horse for a year and I'm sure there are others out there too willing to do the same.

If its something you seriously want to do then why not try advertising and see what sort of response you get?
 
Although a 12 month loan would appear to solve your problems I can see the down side to someone else having YOUR horse for this time, unless you know someone yourself that you trust who would be willing to have him for 12 months. I always maintained that i would never loan any of my horses out, BUT i have a 20 year old mare who my friend offered to take on loan when i fell pregnant to keep with her horse so that her husband could ride out with her. I know for definate my mare is treated as though shes solid gold she has the best of everything and is so well looked after. My friend and her husband adore these horses so im very comfortable with my situation.
By the way, what sort of livery are you on for £700 a month, maybe you could downgrade your livery type to make it more cost effective, or try 24/7 turnout.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Where abouts in the UK are you?

Your livery bill is very very high even for full. When I was in the UK, i was paying 500 per month to livery with a GP dressage rider who had full facilities etc. That didnt included schooling but you could just let him down for the year (it actually passes rather fast btw).

Is he on some kind of schooling livery? Unless you're in the absolute centre of london, your livery seems very high :|

Is it worth shopping around for full livery elsewhere; obviously you cant do DIY or part, but i bet you can find a more competitive quote on full. But would a reduction in your livery be enough to appease your OH? I guess it depends how tight your finances are.

ETS, i still have the official quotation i got emailed to me from Oldenburg Equestrian Centre and their quote for full livery is cheaper than what you're paying. That was when we were due to be staying in london for a while.

[/ QUOTE ]

The £700 that I quoted wasn't just livery though - it's the global cost per month of keeping him - such as livery, farriery (60.00 per five weeks), insurance (60.00 per month), supplements (as he has ringbone £78.00 per month) such as incidentals such as dentist, wormer, vet for jabs, replacement of bits and pieces etc. its a rounded up figure, sometimes more, sometimes less.

I'm in Blackpool.

My sharer does three days a week for £100.00 per month, but she can't take on any more, I've already asked her. He can't go on grass livery, because he's an ex laminitic and has restricted grazing. I'm worried about the full loan, because he can't jump anymore because he suffers from ringbone and although he would be an ideal kids pony, I suspect that they may want to jump him even though he's not supposed to (if he sees a pole on the ground the poor love gets so excited he goes over it at two feet!!) I'd just worry myself silly.

Oh god. I just can't part with him.
 
Is there no-one on your yard that could loan him out to ?,obviously they would know your situation and it means he could stay where he is , they could always have him on a cheaper livery option . Some OH's just dont understand the bond you form with your horse , Im sure it must be a worry financially and he's just trying to think practically, hope you find a way round it all x
 
If he were mine, id be inclined to as someone has already said, put him in grass livery for a year. You didnt say where you are, but i know of a yard that does grass livery, they are very much into NH and horses run as a herd..they are all happy and they all get individual daily checks, rugs checked etc if they wear them..she charges about £25 a week for that, if you can take shoes off then thats less money to worry about than if you are just trimming, and worming etc..I think they will also bring him back into work for you if you wanted when you knew a date for riding again. That would cost you about £1500 for a year of turnout, trims, worming and vacc..i think they also do transport too..
I wouldnt sell him, you'd never let go and it would probably harm your relationship with your OH..For the sake of £1500 id hang on to him. Its alot better than 7k so you might be able to persuade your OH that turning away is the best option. after all he would be saving £5500..lol

eta we cross posted, there are grass type livery places that are suitable for laminitics.
 
i have loaned my pony out in the past and would like share the good and bad side of loaning. I advertised him for loan, a lovely lady came to see him, try him and loved him. i went to her house to see where he would be kept etc. Together we prepared a loan agreement re: welfare, standards, etc. this loan was successful for about 6mnths until she had to move to wales where i did not want him to go to as it was sooooo far away,and therefore returned him to me. All tack and rugs etc came back in good order and he was a happy fit obviusly well looked after little boy while he had been with her!
Then someone i knew said she knew someone who was looking for a pony to loan for her children, this loan took place and all seemed to be well. This time no loan agreement as a friend of a friend. However about 6mnths later again my little boy came home as the 'kids' had lost interest. This time it was a different story- he looked like he had been ignored and turned away, rug rubbed and skinny...... on top of this he had left here with a wardrobe of rugs and enuf kit and boots to start a tack shop-sadly most of this did not return and i never did get any of it back. Be careful of loaning- it could be more trouble than its worth. make sure you choose your loan home carefully and definately get a signed agreement tailored to your requirements and his needs.! x
 
Personally I'd tell OH you're not selling your horse just cos you can't ride it - get used to it. Bugger the compromise he's your horse and you don't want to get rid, end of.

Although, if you're softer than me, have you thought of working livery at a college or riding school. There are down sides and of course lots of horses aren't suitable but for many it can be a good solution. With colleges you have the option of having the horse home during holidays so you could spend a bit of time with him if you're up to it, or if not leave him there.

Good luck and don't be bullied into doing something you don't want to do.
smile.gif
 
Personally I would take his shoes off and pop him in the field until you are able to ride him again. There's no need to be paying so much money to keep him on full livery if you're not riding him and tbh he'll probably be happier turned out.
 
You can't sell him !
Partners can be funny about horses, they do cost a lot of money, luckaly mine knows it is not worth even thinking about, but a friend of mine fights a constant battle with her partner who thinks she should sell her horse and use the money to send the kids to private school.
How about working livery at a riding school ? Oh I know the idea is horrible, but they would look after him properly, and you could go and see him and they wouldn't get emotionaly attatched.
Hope you work something out.
 
Do you live near one of the equine colleges, they might take him on loan and you could go and do a bit with him and maybe ride him bare back in the school.
Otherwise I agree summer turnout and get another sharer
 
I have been in your position - totally misaligned my leg which resulted in plaster cast for 8 weeks, surgery and then 1 year physio. I certainly couldn't look after my horses, but my OH knows how much they mean to me and it was never an issue. I am lucky as I have them at home and he took over the care of them. The first thing is to make it absolutely plain to your OH that there is no way you are parting with your horse - end of story. Second thing is to try and find a way of reducing his monthly costs - £78 for supplements is way too much, I have one 17 hh mare who is arthritic and on various supplements and she doesn't cost that much. Think about your insurance costs and see if you can reduce them. Your sharer is paying too little - she should be paying at least £35.00 per week, so have a word with her. Perhaps get her to pay for his shoes as well. If she doesn't want to share him, take his shoes off or his hinds at least and give him a holiday. There will be a way of keeping him - on no account sell him, you will regret it and hold it against your OH and rightly so IMO.
 
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