So Upset - What Should I Do???

If he was a foal, you'd have him for 2 or 3 years before you could ride him, wouldn't you??

I'd try getting a 2nd sharer. Plus it might be worth trying riding with no stirrups. I did this when i cracked a bone in my ankle & it prob improved my seat no end. I s'pose there's the risk of falling off, but in my case there was the FAR bigger risk of me going totally insane from not riding.
 
I'm so sorry, what an awful position to be in! Equine colleges loan horses on a yearly basis I think. Then you could put him on loan and know he was well looked after and still be able to see him?
 
As someone else said could you take him off the supplements and shoeing if he wasn't going to be going anywhere? That could reduce your monthly outgoings.
 
that is a very difficult situation for you

the best solution is to loan him out, that way you dont have to sell

i loaned my mare out for 3yrs in total in the end as i could not afford her during that time, it really helped me, i got her back 2yrs ago this april after three years apart, i could finally, just about afford her, i think this is the best solution for you, dont sell him if you dont want to/dont have to
hope it all works out soon xx
 
I think you would probably struggle to sell him anyway as he has ringbine, ex lamanitic and he can't be jumped.

You could advertise him at a stupid price and then play all innocent when he doesn't sell. Might fool the OH.

Good Luck
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Find a nice big field with some friends and for about £20 per week he can have a years holiday......

That or second a lovely pony club home..... as someone else pointed out kids grow and go 'onto horses' so they will be more than happy to hand him back

Good luck with what you decide.
 
Just before Christmas 2006 I tore my achillies and God was it painful? My injury wasn't as serious as yours, but I had 4 horses at this time and as a result of trying to keep the financial balance almost ended up with a divorce. I also had to go to work because I was only paid ssp and was on a high percentage commission job, this was to keep the house as well because I was the higher earner. It certainly tested our relationship to its limits!! :-(

Firstly if your partner isn't horsey, his opinion is not going to change easily and to ease the pressure I suggest that you ask a timescale to come to a resolution so the current arguments can at least cool down a bit (it took me 4 months before I could get off crutches for short periods of time and he had to muck out during this time or we had to pay someone we definatley couldn't afford.) This type of injury doesn't heal quickly and as you said may come back and haunt you again.

You MUST NOT push yourself too much and this includes trying to walk around the yard and certainly don't think about getting on- you have to get off again. My right calf muscle is now signifcantly larger than the left 2 years on because of how much I compensated trying to get back to it all and I still cant keep my left stirrup properly, the whole swelling hasn't gone and I have recently decided to drop the physio because it isn't getting any better, from a pain front either.

The loan option at least would mean that you can keep your horse and have some say over his future. You will be suprised at the amount of people out there who would love to have a horse on a years loan and as long as you set it up properly and check on him regulary, he will do OK.

A loaner may also put him on a DIY basis, so it wouldn't cost them so much, you could try advertising for him to stay at your current yard (which obviously is the best thing as you will be comfortable with where he is). Theres lots of people out there who can manage most of the monthly costs but not the outlay for a horse.
 
I used to share a horse with someone who had to have both hips and knees replaced. I helped with some of the costs when she was out of action then when she started riding again I kept sharing him until we were certain her new parts would hold up!!
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why not put him of full loan or have two or 3 part loaners?

where abouts are you? cause i know there are a few people at my yard that could part/full loan
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edit - just found your other post.

and your sharer pays 100 pounds a month?! wow, im so lucky i get mine for free!

im sorry about your leg/foot, and its a shame your sharer can't do anymore days
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I had my first pony on loan - the owner was in the same circumstances as you she had a car crash. He was 14.2 and I was 12 and in the pony club I had to borrow ponies up until then or rent from the local riding school. It was a great experience, my parents didn't want the outlay of buying a horse (non horsey) in case i lost interest but were quite happy to pay farriers bills and diy livery costs, we paid the lady to cover her insurance costs on the pony and she could visit whenever she wanted and came to shows to see him. It was agreed that vets bills would be half and half including vaccination. It was very hard at the end of the time to give him back but i continued to go and visit him at her livery yard until she eventually sold him. I think if you are upfront with the loanees about what how you expect your horse to be looked after and that he goes local at least it may be some consolation to not being able to ride and look after him. You could of course sell your OH and move the horse in!!
 
If the husband is the problem...you need to work on him psychologically....say that before you sell him...you'd have to send him away to a professional for reschooling as you're such a bad rider
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Find a very expensive professional's yard...and leave the price list lying about.
Then work out the costs of advertising him...and make sure he knows that too...
After that you need to look at new horses in photos....circle anything £15k plus in red...to scare him further.
And lastly....you need to try to find some potential alternative hobby that you can do even while you recuperate....perhaps jewellery making (But only 24 carat gold, obviously)...or perhaps watercolour painting (but you'd need daily lessons from a well known artist).
And for the coup de grace...lose all interest in sleeping with husband due to the excessive worry about horsey
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He should do the calculations and make the right (
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) decision.
S
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In your original post you said you worked long hours. Are you going to be able to work or take paid sick leave while you are recovering? Are you the one paying the cost of the horses board? If so, then tell OH its your money, your horse, you're not selling, deal with it! I also like Shilasdair's suggestions.
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[ QUOTE ]
If the husband is the problem...you need to work on him psychologically....say that before you sell him...you'd have to send him away to a professional for reschooling as you're such a bad rider
wink.gif
.
Find a very expensive professional's yard...and leave the price list lying about.
Then work out the costs of advertising him...and make sure he knows that too...
After that you need to look at new horses in photos....circle anything £15k plus in red...to scare him further.
And lastly....you need to try to find some potential alternative hobby that you can do even while you recuperate....perhaps jewellery making (But only 24 carat gold, obviously)...or perhaps watercolour painting (but you'd need daily lessons from a well known artist).
And for the coup de grace...lose all interest in sleeping with husband due to the excessive worry about horsey
wink.gif

He should do the calculations and make the right (
grin.gif
) decision.
S
smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Now here is someone not to be messed with..lol..brilliant!!!
 
I wouldn't loan for any reason whatsoever.

I would find grass livery for my boy and give him a very long holiday. He'll come back uber refreshed and willing to work, and you won't have the worry of what's going on while you're laid up.

You can also work up fitness to ride together when you get him back.
 
What do you think about the idea of having a year's holiday just being a horse in a field? and if your lucky enough to find decent grass livery where he could be checked & fed, brought in for farrier etc near enough your sharer could still ride him?

Could he go on part livery at the current place, and your loaner does little bits like muck out and bring in on the days she does him?

Definately think its Hubby you need to change, I Love Shilsdair's ideas! A few more ...
1) Get him to drop you off and pick you up from the yard & you can pretend you rode??

2) Mope around the house. Pick up an annoying OCD that you know will wind him up, like hoovering in his way when he's watching football on telly. When he queries tell him you're depressed about the thought of selling horsey and cry

2) Find articles on how horses help recovering patients (I'm sure we could write you something!!) and leave that lying around

3) Cry non-stop at the very mention of horsey's name, every time he tells you to get rid etc, especially in public. Men can't handle crying at irrational moments!
 
My friend has her horse on working livery at Burchetts College of Agriculture, and she pays roughly £70 per week, that includes feed and hay except shoes.
The students look after and rides her horse everyday, and they learn at the same time.
Perhaps that could be a option if you have a similar college near you?

Or put him out on loan to someone thoroughly vetted! Or could your sharer pay more just for 12 months to ease the expense??

Good luck and i'm sure you'll find a solution/compromise!
 
Nobody has mentioned the obvious - get rid of the OH!
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Only kidding. Just throw all your energy into finding him some sort of 12 month holiday/semi retirement. Most retirement homes are around £60 per week I think, so x 52 is well below what you have been paying. Hell, I'd have hime for that and I'm quite near to you. We've got a laminitic so he could keep her company and massive stables. I bet you'll find someone quite quickly and the year will fly by. Don't get upset. I have been here and after doing all the tips hints and suggestions posted above, kept the horse and got another. It's hard work but look like you are putting in some effort, leave lots of 'sums' about and I'll phone you up three times a night pretending to be a potential loaner if you like. Show him the Amersham story, even. Look like you are jumping through hoops etc - he'll come round.
 
Hi Fruddy, my dad fully ruptured his achilles tendon last year and was told it would be 9 - 12 months before he could ride again - motorbikes not horses. He was in plaster for about 14 weeks in total and two weeks after coming out of plaster - and obviously against dr's orders - he drove my OH and younger brother to a trial, loaded his own bike on the trailler under the pretense to my stepmum of selling it, and rode in the trial. Not only did he ride in the trial but he won his section!!!

So please do not feel depressed about having 9-12 months off. It may well not be that long, you will heal at the rate you heal and that's not something the docters can predict. Don't push it like my dad but maybe use him as a little inspiration in your own recovery.
 
If my partner said that to me then they would be straight out of the door on a permanent one way non-negotiable ticket. The horse comes first as far as I am concerned.

Keep your horse as you will have something to look forward to when you get better. While you are getting better you can give your horse lots of nice grooms.

You will be suprised how quickly you will recover if you have something to aim at like riding your horse again.

Best of luck for a speedy recovery.
 
Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to post comments and suggestions - it really does mean a lot to me in my current low state of mind!! I particularly liked Shilasdair's suggestions!!! Cheered me up!!

The grass livery won't wok unfortunately. Because he's an ex-laminitic, plus he gets fat just looking at grass, he is on restricted grazing so I couldn't put him in a field and just leave him to it.

I think that the way to go would be to try and find another couple of sharers. Unfortunately, my yard is purely liveries and not a riding school, which is a shame, because he would be great as a riding school pony on working livery for a while, he's that bombproof you could put complete novices on him.

I think that I'm just going to have to dig my heels in and say stuff it to the OH - he's my horse, I work hard and long hours and bring home a very decent wage, so I think that I am well within my rights to keep him, whatever my current circumstances

Finally - luckily I am back at work on reduced hours, even though I am still in a cast and not weight bearing. I work as PA to an executive director at Blackpool Council and sit down for a lot of the day anyway, so it's no hardship really. Plus it's keeping my mind occupied and helping to stop me going mad!!

Once again, thanks so much to everyone for their encouragement and suggestions - it's really made a difference.

Rachel
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