So what do you think??

[EAST KENT]

A year ago I spotted an ad for someone very nearby wanting a quiet horse on loan I answered it ,but said mine was not so much "on loan" but she could hack her out a few times a week.The young woman said she`d "go half" on the shoes,and help buy a new heavyweight turn out for this winter past. Ok ,the mare benefits from exercise..she has a bone spavin so it keeps her "oiled up".
In a year I have had just £20 out of her for shoes,had to ask for simple things like washing the bit after riding to be done,the tack has never been tended by anyone but me. The mare now needs clipping and trimming..I have no time just now..she says she cannot afford to pay out .Therefore the mare stays home,being a bit of a Pony Club fogey I believe it is an insult to take a horse out looking anything but clean and neat.Then ,she asked the other day if she could move MY mare up to a paddock she has free use of and she would then take over the expenses! Frankly I was speechless,after a year of "can`t afford it" she now seems to think she can in fact afford if she gets possession.
Would you tell her to "trot on"?

 

[cambrica]

The way you put it it sounds as though your the one being taken for a ride ? Unless she has owned her own horse and had to pay all these costs she is probably pretty blind to the reality of how much you spend. You don't say if she is paying much towards livery/feed etc and if that in turn is lessoning your costs financially. The next time the farrier is due ask her directly for some contribution. If she dosen't don't let her ride.
It seems as though she is not responsible enough to hand over the reins and let her take full control. Not something I would allow.

 

[Laura1812]

i wouldnt be telling her to trot-on i would be telling her to 'gallop-off'! if she hasnt shown sufficient commitment to her responsibilities thus far, do you really want her having the majority of the responsibility for your mare?

 

[Sugarplum Furry]

I'd say absolutely no way can she move the horse. If you want to allow her to carry on riding why not suggest setting up a direct debit arrangement so at least you won't be out of pocket.

 

[Barlow]

No way would I let her take your horse to a random field. It might be different if she had proved herself by actually giving you a monthly payment for shoes or livin up to her promises but to me I reckon your mare would become a welfare case if this woman who obviously hasn't lifted a finger in the past becomes responsible for her care. I would have started looking for a new loaner/sharer a long time ago....

 

[Littlelegs]

I think I'd have told her to jog on already! If she was meant to be paying half the shoes then I'd guess its cost more than £40 so far in shoes this year, & its just lazy not doing any jobs.
By comparison I had a teenage girl riding mine for free when daughter was little cos pony likes to be out & about. She got to ride when she liked & I got someone who could & would do all yard jobs when I needed it. ( she rode about 4 days a week, more in holidays & I got the equivalent of a full livery service for free on those days so my time was just for horse, not duties). She paid for shoes to go back on when she increased work load to need them. Her parents actually asked if I'd full loan & if I'd been looking for that then would have. (arrangement ended when she got her own) I reckon there are enough decent people who'd appreciate such a cheap share arrangement so definitely tell her where to go!

 

[AmyMay]

Would you tell her to "trot on"?

Yes, would have some time ago, actually.

 

[Bikerchickone]

I would have told her to trot on the first time she didn't come up with half the shoe money! I think I'd be sitting her down for a little chat about just what is required should she wish to continue the share, if you don't get rid completely.

 

[Kaylum]

First time without a payment "goodbye"

 

[EAST KENT]

Mmm..all of you think the same.The horses live here on my own land,so she even had the neck to suggest moving her from her home. I have no costs apart from haylege/feed and shoes..yes I can of course clip,but feel "why should I" for this lazy person to just turn up for free hacking.I have suggested she put a fiver a week in a pot,that would add up to half the farrier money, but no.Also suggested that,as my own workload is heavy,she lends a hand for a few hours ..so the time for clipping was available..but no reaction there.Getting to the trot on point!

 

[Ranyhyn]

She sounds like a complete taker. Get rid.

 

[Hedgewitch13]

Why on earth are you still letting her take the p$ss? Wave her goodbye asap. I'm sure you can find a much nicer person to help you out without all the hassle she is giving you.

 

[irish_only]

Get that lungeing whip out quick

 

[Goldenstar]

You have allowed yourself to be used but put a stop to it now, and Look for someone else.

 

[Technique]

Personally I think you sound like an ideal owner! The girl is stupid not to acknowledge what a good deal she's had by pulling her weight; either physically or financially - and bad mannered to take advantage of your good nature.

One thing is certain, she hasn't proved herself worthy of any degree of trust. If she cannot step up to the mark in her present cushy situation, how can you be certain she would do it when your horse is no longer under your eye?

Launch her, there has to be a more suitable person that would be glad to contribute towards the horse's care in an appropriate manner. I know I would be glad of the chance to ride a non school horse on that kind of arrangement.

 

[4faults]

I would have told her to jog on after the first month. I bet there will be lots of people out there who are more reliable and looking for a similar set up

 

[Luci07]

Knowing you for your posts on the dog forum I am very surprised you let her get away with this for so long!

In this instance I would actually give her a breakdown of the costs, what contribution you require or quite frankly you are losing nothing by getting rid and finding sharers who will contribute either time or money. My 2 sharers cover not quite half of what my old mare costs me at livery but I was clear upfront about costs and what their duties were (so.. Tack cleaning and they paid their own insurance!). Both my sharers are really lovely too.

I was in a similiar position years ago when I shared my old gelding. Sharer wanted to move him from the yard we were at and take complete ownership. Refused on the basis that she frequently forgot to finish him off properly after riding so me or staff always had to go back to check despite repeated requests! Things like leaving unrugged in winter or the Haynet outside!

 

[Barlow]

Have you decided what to do about this situation yet?

 

[mollichop]

She was on to a good deal by the sounds of it and couldn't afford to contribute. Had you have loaned her initially the horse could have gone without.

As you have her at home and finances aren't the issue (for you) then i'd look for another sharer that will pull their weight tbh - let her find something else.

 

[EAST KENT]

Going to get up to date with my TROT fees,clip her up into show cob trim and make the effort to get out and admire the Spring.Time is at a premium, but she must think I have IDIOT printed on my forehead.Mhairi was never going to move,she`s a horse in a million.Yes ,I have loaned her out twice to friends who had completely lost their nerve..and she did her usual great job..but Oh! the fuss when you want them back.BUT,both those friends looked after her properly ,kept her trimmed and my tack clean and oiled.This one? I use those nice light western rope halters,hers fell off because it was`nt tied properly..so idle miss could`nt be bothered to find it..and put on another ordinary one so tight she could`nt open her mouth ,left it would have eaten into her flesh.
She claims to have had competition ponies as a child..but I find that hard to believe,looks more like someone who has just turned up to riding school lessons what with the lack of on the ground management and discipline.

 

[NooNoo59]

yes!

 

[Ladydragon]

I guess it depends what you want and what the horse gets out of the arrangement... Although I would not let her take the horse on loan...

I have a lovely young lass from the local university who exercises my TB... I don't expect any financial contribution from her or anything else although she does, in all fairness, make sure he's well groomed and his stable cleaned when she comes up...

But she's doing me a huge favour in taking him out/schooling and he's better for her intervention... He's still wholly my responsibility to maintain...

 

[indie999]

NO NO NO

I let someone ride my horses and I got no thanks. When I came back from holiday they hadnt poo picked the field at all(two horses) and like you cleaned tack twice in about 2 years. Lazy and I also found out recently she had cantered old boy up hill(which I had asked her not to do).

People said I was being too nice and I think so too. She was always moaning about her back etc and thats why she couldnt poo picked.

Unfortunately you are the one who will pick up the bill as well if things go wrong.

No.