so who can read between the lines.................

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hollyandivy123

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its horse selling season, i love to read for sale adverts and some do make me laugh

so who can read between the lines i'll start people of

never stops........................including motorway bridges, fences and anything else that gets in the way

sensitive mare...........................ok as long as you don't breath and then i will through all my toys out of the pram

forward going................a bit like never stops

brought on slowly................ok if pony is say 5-6yr not ok when pony is 15-16yr
 
Easy to do in every way....... as long as doped up to the eyeballs

Can be a bit spooky.......... needs to be doped up to the eyeballs to be safe

Loving home priority over price........... but I still want 3k too much for it
 
What about that old favourite 'not a novice ride' - which can mean anything from slightly forward going to complete mental case
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Excellent to box, shoe, clip and in traffic - well it was last time we could catch it, that was in 1998.

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PMSL!!!
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Low milage/10 year old with potential - has never and will never do anything in particular.

Schoolmaster successful in SJ, eventing, dressage, showing, etc... - It might stay sound for 6 months if you're lucky before its ready to retire.
 
Prefers hacking in company....... the nappiest thing on 4 legs you'll ever meet

Ideal for a novice.......... so lame it can barely walk, but thats all a novice will want to do isnt it?

good doer.......laminitic

regularly wormed.......I cant think of anything positive to say about it
 
Has seen hounds...trod on a copy of Horse and Hound once...
Cheeky character....bites or kicks you at any opportunity
Can be strong....even Arnold Schwarzenegger couldn't stop it.
Suit nervous rider...it's stuffed and on wheels
Loves his jumping...but LOATHES dressage
Genuine reason for sale.. it tried to kill someone!
 
Hahaha! These are really funny!

How about....mother/daughter ride.......it needs both of them to keep it under control

slight blemish........it only has 3 legs

cribs hence price......it's so neurotic I can't keep weight on it - sell it before it gets any thinner!
 
seen hounds..... once upon a time and went ballistic so never again.
sold with tack and rugs.... we might get rid of it that way, no-one will want it otherwise.
travels quietly in horsebox.... won't go in the trailer
good to clip..... if you use scissors
lovely sort.... can't think of anything else to say
ideal gentleman's hunter..... naff's off wih anyone short of a world weightlifting champion.
ideal master's horse..... kicks bites rears and is generally unsociable out hunting
priced for quick sale....to get rid before it costs us anymore or before you realise what you've bought
perfect lead-rein pony.... but a little sh1t as soon as the adult lets go.
a real saint.... boring, donkey-like, needs a rocket where the sun don't shine to induce a slow canter!
 
Good home important....I've given up, no more patience, you need to be a saint to deal with this one

Loves to jump...goes like a train when shown jumps, you don't stand a chance

Lovely paces...tends to do them all at the same time whilst going off in the distance, without you
 
Sold as rider given up - he drove me to it

Sad sale - I'm gutted, I can't stay on the b***er

Has potential - ...but I can't find it

Sadly outgrown - back's probably out as carried on riding it
 
110% to catch, clip, shoe..... but don't even think about trying to get it in a box or trailer (ditto any other three of the four, but always look for the missing one, it's the killer)

Bred three nice foals, ready to bring on.... was unrideable as a youngster so we cut our losses, but looks like an old nag now so might con someone into buying her as a riding horse (my trainer usually gets them to 'bring on' after they've chucked said optimist off at first mounting)

Ridden by 12 year old.... who has rubber bones and an adrenalin addiction and rides by the point and kick/charge method

Good flatwork..... we make it go forty times round a 20m circle at least once a week and haven't noticed that it's falling forward on its nose and falling out on its shoulder

snaffle mouth... as long as you have a three ring gag and a flash noseband
 
so i am not the only cynic out there!!!

"
Good in traffic - likes to play ball with minis "

now that brings a great picture to my head!!

just to add,

needs competitive home,......................has to be ridden 6hrs a day, can't hack out but wont stop at anything when jumping including the school fence

full up 14.2.....................well about 14.3 but if you squint its still a pony
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full up 14.2.....................well about 14.3 but if you squint its still a pony
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My 'full-up 14.2' (several years ago) measured in at 152.8cm....
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Unspoilt...no-one can get near it
Pregnancy forces sale...yeah, I was THAT desperate to be shot of it!
Re-advertised due to timewaster...who is now in hospital..
Full history known....never to be revealed...too ghastly!
Quiet rider needed..twitch so much as a muscle and you'll be in the next county
Can work in outline...if you tie its head between its legs
Rider onto horses...BOYS
Rider lost interest...BOYS
No rider...BOYS
 
"Very Scopey" - Often turns out to mean he can jump 3ft... not quite what Id call scopey!

"Talented, could go far" - Except he's 18yrs old already so a little too old to start his career OR yes he is talented but his attitude absolutely sucks so you'll be lucky to get him in the ring in the first place!
 
First to see will buy - well, its the first time YOU've seen it, never mind the 20 before you

Never a day's lameness - never a SINGLE day
 
Excellent confirmation ..... well all its legs and arms are in the right place

Superb paces.....paces up and down the fence line all day long
 
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