*sobs* What do I do now?

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harvgj19

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Some of you know that when I moved to America 2 years ago I left my horse on loan with a friend. A year later she bought another horse and told me she had no time for mine, so found a girl to loan him. In May this year he went lame, with a fluid lump on his hock. Vet has since diagnosed a tendon sheath injury, and we are awaiting the results of the latest scan to check the tendons themselves. So loaner now says she no longer wants horse as he is lame. Fair enough, I realise it is no fun to have a lame horse that doesn't even belong to you, but what the hell am I supposed to do now! I am in the USA. Harv needs probably 6 months rest with vet checks periodically, then may be sound enough for hacking and dressage.
Loaner has said she will look after him if I pay all his costs, as well as her (!?) until he is sound again, and then might have him back, depending on what he is fit for. I can't re-loan him whilst he is lame, can't sell him as who would buy him until he is sound, and I am 3000 miles away!

I know I will probably get some people saying I was an idiot not to sell him when I left, but I didnt' know if we would stay, as I didn't really want to go in the first place.

I really just want to sit and cry. I abandoned my beautiful boy who means the world to me, but it was a case of him or my marriage. I feel like I have failed him and let him down. I don't want him to be pushed from pillar to post, and yet, I don't know what else I can do.

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The loaner sounds a complete no-go, horse goes lame so she doesn't want to know, wants you to pay her, plus all bills and if horse becomes sound she might have him back - I don't think so! Is there anyone over here from your horsey days that can help you - either by taking him and resting him or who could find somewhere for him. He could well make a nice hack when his injury is better. You never know someone on this forum might help you - don't be too hard on yourself, you did what you thought was right at the time.
 
Thanks Meltdown. I am racking my brains trying to find a solution to this. I do have some horsey friends still, but whether anyone would want to take him on over the winter, I just don't know.

As for loaner............grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....less said about her the better. Well, that is a little unfair, when he was fine she took excellent care of him.
 
Could you contact a welfare centre near where he is and explain the situation? You sound really stuck and I would have thought that they might take him to care for if you were able to cover their costs.
 
Don't be so hard on yourself, you did what seemed right at the time. This loaner sounds a right s***. If she bought a horse and it went lame would she just sell it on then and there? This amounts to the same.
I'm sorry but I have no other ideas than that already suggested, but something will turn up. Maybe a decent charity would help out if you explain the circumstances?
 
I think friends are the best option for six months then reassess.

You could put him into retirement/rehab/resting livery over here and then reassess. There are several places that do this now. If he could live out with rugs its not too expensive bearing in mind he doesnt need riding.

(Or fly him out to you! You know thats what you really want!)
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Oh no!
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This is just terrible!

I cannot imagine how tough it must be to be so far away . You must feel so helpless.

I cannot really offer advice as to what to do, but have you ruled out that this new loaner could not have aggravated or casued the lameness? If that was the case I think she has a duty to get him well without it costing you a fortune and stress!

I am just not sure how all of the "loaning" works

You do not see alot of that here so I am not up on the poilitics of it.

I just hope that it all works out and that Harv gets better and is well cared for until that happens!
Sending you strength and vibes for Harv!!!!!

Do not feel like you have abandoned him. I know you love him and have been thinking of him often. I am sure you thought you were leaving him in the very best of hands.
 
Don't beat yourself up, you did not want to sell or lose your beautiful boy and I don't blame you. Oh if only you had the money to fly him over to America but I guess that costs thousands and thousands.
 
If money isn't too much of an issue there are a lot of rehabilitation yards that offer a livery facility with the care and rehab treatment (horse walker, cold hosing etc etc) included and have the facilities you may need. There is one that advertises at my yard in Kent and think I saw one advertised somewhere like the H&H but would definately consider one of these as my boy has a tendon injury and it has taken a lot of TLC and patience and it can so easily go wrong. Good luck and let me know where the horse is based and will see if I can find anything.
 
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(Or fly him out to you! You know thats what you really want!)

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I looked into this when we first came over, but we didn't want to spend 4k when we had no idea where we would settle.
 
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You must feel so helpless. [ QUOTE ]


Jade, you have no idea. I have cried myself to sleep over this for weeks.

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have you ruled out that this new loaner could not have aggravated or casued the lameness? [ QUOTE ]


I don't think it can be blamed solely on her, though the vet does feel she may have put his recovery back by doing too much too soon after the initial problem occured. TBH I just want shot of her now. She has been nothing but a pain since the serious treatment started. She ran up the vet bill by getting unnecessary bandages and dressings from the vet once she knew we would be claiming on the insurance. However, he is now over the claim limit for treatment, so I will be paying the shortfall.

Thanks for the vibes. I'm sure it will all come right in the end, it is just so hard to deal with it all when you are so far away.
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So if you are settled now......
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If you want to fly him out Im 40 mins from Heathrow and would be happy to help you out practically if you get the paperwork sorted! .

Im a sucker for a happy ending!!
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No probs!!!

Get convincing girl!!!
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Tia wont mind me telling you ( I hope!)she has flown her horse out to Canada so almost certainly could help too.
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If I was closer I would of looked after him for you, might of cheered my mare up having a new bit of eye candy
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(she's feeling very hormonal and horny at the moment!)

Think you need to give hubby a good **cough cough** and see if you can talk him into flying him out
 
Thanks Tricksy.

The old *cough cough* trick is no use at the moment We have been trying to get pregnant for a year, so its a very regular activity!
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*wonders if new golf clubs would do the trick instead*
 
Amazing! If you could get him there all the better! I am sure the nice warm climate could help the healing!

The travel may prove stressful though.

The local stables sound so nice in your area I am sure he would have the very best of care though .

I am sending you MASSIVE vibes that you can talk hubby into it if that is truly what you think will help you and Harv through this.

I know you posted that the horse has been a sore spot for the two of you. Just remember that a true supportive loving relationship will get through this. I just hope that he understands your love for your horse. I know that so often it is a game of choose and I shouldn't be. Horses and your boy are your passion and if he loves you he will understand and not be threatened by it all.
I hope it all works out. I am always here if you need to chat about it

xJade
 
Well I think I have found someone to take care of him until he is sound. I will have to pay for his keep, but that should be fairly minimal, as he will have his back shoes taken off, and won't need much hard feed.

OH has said if he comes sound enough to be ridden again, we will think about bringing him over here.

thanks for all the replies and offers of help. It is so nice to have this little support group on HHO.
 
Oh dear what a nightmare eh. I know how stressful it has been for you so I am so happy to read that you may have formulated a plan now. Best of luck and yes of course, as DM says, if you do decide to fly him out here in the end, I'll pass on any information I have.
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