soft hands, soft mouth - help

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Hi, just wondering if anyone can help.
I've been having some problems with the horse I ride. He's a native and so is fairly short coupled and has always had a hard mouth but I'm having so many problems getting him off my hands and making sure he stays relaxed (when he gets tense he takes short steps and won't soften over his back).

My instructor regularly keeps telling me that Im not being soft enough with my hands but the softer I am, the more he leans on me. I work at a well known and successful dressage yard where I get lessons and no-one has ever told me that I need to be softer with my hands. Not only this, I am now getting more and more confused about the best way to ask for an outline; do I hold with my outside hand and soften with the inside or hold my hands apart and take a hold, really pushing the horse on and wait for them to soften (these are the 2 ways 2 different people are telling me!!). Hope I've explained clearly enough and could I please have no comments on is he in pain because Im getting his teeth and back checked this week, just want to know what to do if this is not the case.

Thanks x x
 
What bit is he in? I'm a bit fan of waterfords on leaning natives, not dressage legal but if you can teach him to not lean using the waterford then change for tests.
I found holding a contact and pushing them into it (not explained very well, hope you know what I mean) is the easiest way to ask for a outline in native types.
 
I would try holding a steady contact but then giving with your hands, by pushing them up his neck every so often, to get him to carry himself rather than lean on you. Start this in walk, initially on a 20m circle, then around the school, give with your hands when you feel he is not leaning on them, to reward him, but if he then hollows ask for a contact again, only give when you feel he is 'safe' to carry himself. Gradually this sort of exercise, together with lots os school movements and lateral work will teach him to carry himself better, so he gains strength and balance and no longer feels he has to lean on you.
 
hes in a french link snaffle atm and i ride him in a weynouth and bradoon for hacking but normally with a very very loose curb. Thats a good idea, although if I ask him for an outline in that way he hops and goes up rather than forward. The other problem is when I release the contact/ soften as a reward he leans even more. His lateral work is already fairly established in walk and trot and this has helped a bit but we're stuck in a rut again and are just not progressing.
 
lots of transitions will help soften him up on your hands...
try using a McGuinnes bit as it worked wonders with my part native!
 
To get him soft and light in the saddle, you need to get him soft & light on the ground. Would recommend Parellis 7 games on the ground. Learnind to backup lightly is really important, as if you can do that, you're half way to stopping lightly.

best of luck.
 
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