Some dressage jokes...

CastleMouse

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Q: How many dressage riders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: These things can't be rushed, the task must be approached slowly, and may take many years. Never EVER use any type of gadget when changing the lightbulb - you could do irrepairable damage.

Judges comments that you DON'T want to receive!!!!

“Nice horse, with lots of…er… potential. (When your horse is over 15!)
“I can only assume this horse jumps well.”
“Very entertaining"
"Well sat bucks"
“Should salute facing judge."
“Horse has a lot of enthusiasm, but unfortunately it doesn't seem to be for dressage..."
“That was your first dressage test, wasn't it?" -- and it wasn’t
"Very naughty horse……but quite athletic."
“Patient rider"
“Brave riding"
“Disobedient" - in every comment for every movement
"Would make a nice fairground horse."
"Too much to list here - ask your trainer"
“Everyone who rides has days like this.”
“Airs above the ground are best left to the Spanish Riding School”
"Nicely turned out pair." (Which is code for, oh God, I have nothing else nice to say about that disaster)

Q: How do get the best ever dressage performance from your horse?
A: Ride him at home with no-one watching!


A horse's bad behavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.


Q: How do you get your horse to jump low white rails? -
A: Enter a dressage competition!
 
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“I can only assume this horse jumps well.”


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Sounds familiar
smirk.gif
 
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i still haven't worked out whether "tactfully ridden" is a true compliment, or really means "why are you persevering so patiently with such a totally useless disobliging nightmare?"
wink.gif

i've had it a LOT over the years...

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I've had that one a lot too. I take it as well done for not getting off and strangling the git halfway through the test.
 
Best one I got three times of the same judge over three different competitions in Murphy's first days as a dressage horse. We always used to get 'naughty to canter' as he'd explode bucking to begin with. But this comment off the one judge is diamond.
'Nice horse on a different day.'
 
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