Some more pathetic moaning from me...

Kokopelli

Kokopelli

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I had a day off yesterday and spent the whole day just thinking about him, its really hit me lately how much I miss him. I still look in the field for him when we drive past I would do anything to see his little head pop up and winny hello to me like he used to.

I looked through some of my old posts on here and I have come to the conclusion that I never gave him enough credit :( I totally under estimated him!

Like when we went to first load him in the trailer (he never been in a trailer before) I was like ohh he probably won't go in first time. Nope he proved me wrong walked straight in! I remember once we were going to a show and I was leading him up to the trailer but I stopped him to hand some stuff to my mum and whilst doing this he just walked himself on! He loved going to parties bless him.

And when I did my first dressage with him, I said to my mum I'd be happy if he got 50% and he goes and proves me wrong again with a nice 70% :D I just wish I did more dressage on him, unfortunatly I didn't know our time together would be cut short

Whenever I took him showjumping I would say "ohh I'd be happy if we get past fence 3 because thats scary" and he does it again, flys the whole course and comes 2nd out of 30 starters!! :)

He just like making me look bad didn't he?

I thought I'd share the memorial video that montyforever kindly made me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldirq2VxzUI

He really was a lovely little horse, or as we called him a 'porse'. I have to go up to the yard tomorrow and haven't been there for ages I hate it up there without him and everyone is avoiding me because they don't want to upset me by saying the wrong thing, I haven't got the bliming plague!! :(

Right moan over sorry for boring you all just needed to get my thoughts out. Thank you everyone for your support and hope you enjoy the lovely video.
 
He was a beautiful boy, and you come on here and moan whenever you feel the need if it helps you. People will be worried about upsetting you but that will soon settle down. It is like losing a family member and you need to be able to talk about him, eventually you will have the good memories and the hurt will fade a little to sadness. I cannot begin to imagine how you feel.
 
hch4971 said:
He was a beautiful boy, and you come on here and moan whenever you feel the need if it helps you. People will be worried about upsetting you but that will soon settle down. It is like losing a family member and you need to be able to talk about him, eventually you will have the good memories and the hurt will fade a little to sadness. I cannot begin to imagine how you feel.
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There will be more moaning! I just can't talk about it in person yet not without crying and then no one understanding what I'm saying :/

And whats worse is I think there are more appies on the market now, everytime I see one it reminds me of him. He was so special though not like the others, I'll never have the joy of owning a horse like him again :(
 
He was a beautiful horse and he definitely looked like he enjoyed life with you! I'm surprised I never seen you out riding him before as my horses are kept a 2 minute drive away from home farm equestrian centre :) Excuse my asking but how long had you owned him for? He's definitely a horse that would of stood out in every crowd! Be proud of him, I'm sure he was proud of you :D xx

R.I.P. Koko xxx
 
You aren't moaning. You are grieving. It will be like this for a while. Moan and groan and remember as much as you want. Don't beat yourself up - you obviously loved him very very much. Guilt is just a part of the process. You have nothing to feel guilty for but it is just one of those things we all go through.
I promise one day you will just remember him and smile. I cannot promise how long this will take but there is a day when the most of the tears stop and the smiles begin again. There will be ups and downs - just go with the flow. ((hugs)) - lots of us on here have been where you are so there is always a helping hand here.
 
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