teapot
Well-Known Member
Natural Horsemanship devotee looks like a throwback from a Texas ranch, despite the fact that he grew up in the suburbs of NJ. Rope coiled loosely in hand (don't want to send any messages of tension, after all) in case he needs to herd any of those kids on rollerblades away from his/her F-350 dually in the WalMart parking lot. Cowboy hat is strategically placed, and just soiled enough to be cool. Wranglers are well worn, with that little wrinkle above the instep of the ropers, and lots of dust (well, you know, from the round pen) on the lower legs.
Dressage Queen is freshly coifed. Not even she remembers her own hair color, but she has taken great pains to ensure that Rolf, the hairdresser, makes the perm and highlights look "natural." Diamond studs are elegant and stately, and not so large that they blind the judge during the entire passage-piaffe tour. $30 dollar denim jumper worn over $300 full seat white breeches and custom Koenigs.
Hunter/Jumper competitor is in an aqua polo and those breeches whose color could be compared to, um, well, okay, let's say they're khaki. The polo is so that folks will think they're a jumper rider until they put on their shirt and stock tie. Baseball cap is mandatory after a ride, in order to provide free advertising to that trainer's stable for whom they shell over a mere grand or so per month, and to hide "helmet head."
Eventer is slightly hunched over. This could be from carrying three saddles, three bridles, three bits, and all related color coordinated gear to every event, or it could possibly be a defensive posture where he/she is unconsciously protecting his/her wallet, which is, of course, nearly empty from buying three saddles, three bridles, three bits and all related color coordinated gear. Looked down on by the H/J's as "people who just run their horses at fences" and by the DQ's as "not real dressage riders"c Eventers are smugly convinced that they are in fact the only people in the horse world who CAN ride, since the H/J's don't jump real fences and the DQ's don't ride real horses.
Endurance addict is wearing lycra tights in some neon color. Has not read the rule that lycra is a privilege, not a right. The shinier, the better, so that they can find her body when her mount dumps her down (another) ravine. Wearing hiking sneakers of some sort and a smear of trail dirt on the cheek. Sporting one of the zillions of T-shirts she got for paying $75 to complete some other torturous ride. Socks may or may not match (each other).
Backyard rider can be found wearing (in summer) shorts and bra, (in winter) flannel nightgown, muck boots, down jacket. Drives a ford tempo filled with dirty blankets and dog hair. Usually has deformed toes on the right foot from being stepped on in the Walmart sneakers that are worn for riding. Roots need touching up to hide the grey. 2-horse bumperpull behind barn filled with sawdust/hay. Can be found trying to teach her horse to come in the kitchen to eat so she doesn't have to walk all the way to the barn.
Dressage Queen is freshly coifed. Not even she remembers her own hair color, but she has taken great pains to ensure that Rolf, the hairdresser, makes the perm and highlights look "natural." Diamond studs are elegant and stately, and not so large that they blind the judge during the entire passage-piaffe tour. $30 dollar denim jumper worn over $300 full seat white breeches and custom Koenigs.
Hunter/Jumper competitor is in an aqua polo and those breeches whose color could be compared to, um, well, okay, let's say they're khaki. The polo is so that folks will think they're a jumper rider until they put on their shirt and stock tie. Baseball cap is mandatory after a ride, in order to provide free advertising to that trainer's stable for whom they shell over a mere grand or so per month, and to hide "helmet head."
Eventer is slightly hunched over. This could be from carrying three saddles, three bridles, three bits, and all related color coordinated gear to every event, or it could possibly be a defensive posture where he/she is unconsciously protecting his/her wallet, which is, of course, nearly empty from buying three saddles, three bridles, three bits and all related color coordinated gear. Looked down on by the H/J's as "people who just run their horses at fences" and by the DQ's as "not real dressage riders"c Eventers are smugly convinced that they are in fact the only people in the horse world who CAN ride, since the H/J's don't jump real fences and the DQ's don't ride real horses.
Endurance addict is wearing lycra tights in some neon color. Has not read the rule that lycra is a privilege, not a right. The shinier, the better, so that they can find her body when her mount dumps her down (another) ravine. Wearing hiking sneakers of some sort and a smear of trail dirt on the cheek. Sporting one of the zillions of T-shirts she got for paying $75 to complete some other torturous ride. Socks may or may not match (each other).
Backyard rider can be found wearing (in summer) shorts and bra, (in winter) flannel nightgown, muck boots, down jacket. Drives a ford tempo filled with dirty blankets and dog hair. Usually has deformed toes on the right foot from being stepped on in the Walmart sneakers that are worn for riding. Roots need touching up to hide the grey. 2-horse bumperpull behind barn filled with sawdust/hay. Can be found trying to teach her horse to come in the kitchen to eat so she doesn't have to walk all the way to the barn.
