Someone give me a kick up the bum (long)

[jenbleep]

Ok anyone who reads the majority of my posts will know that I am trying to get back to Cornwall. It's where I come from, where my friends and family are yada yada yada. I am in Bournemouth at the moment, and am riding Frankie, who I have ridden since April of last year. We are not competing, because he is still quite green and needs to build up topline. We could do a prelim test I suppose, but his owner has a broken lorry

so we have just been having lessons and going to clinics etc. I have grown somewhat attached to him, and even though he is spooky and he has scared the life out of me on the odd occasion

he has taught me a lot about my riding, and I actually think that after 9 years I am starting to get this whole riding malarkey

I am understanding now the correct way of going, and what I should be looking for etc etc.

Now I am looking to move back to Cornwall, I have asked his owner if I could take him with me on loan and she said no

so I will have to leave him behind. I am torn - I reeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to go back home but in a way I want to stay because Frankie and I are getting somewhere - as I said I have ridden for 9 years and have only ever been to one show and rode one dressage test - I want to get out there competing and this summer could be it!

But if I was to go back to Cornwall I would have to start all over again with another horse - and what if all I could get is a plod?? **Is that really arrogant of me?? Hope not!

**

I just feel like I have put so much effort into him and spent so much on lessons etc that I will have to start all over again. And what if she gets another rider and he goes backwards? (In his education I mean!) I'm not saying that I am the best he will have by any means. Well I suppose what I don't know won't hurt me

My friend runs a riding school/trekking centre and she is always trying to get me to escort rides but to be honest I think I would just go back to all my old habits! And want to ride something with an aim to compete have lessons on. I will miss Frankie so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!

It's like my last serious boyfriend all over again - we got together even though I knew he was leaving to go and work in the far east

Sorry for the essay - I just needed to get it all down and my workmates think I'm being stupid for even thinking this about a horse

Am I being stupid?? He's not even mine!! I'm getting choked up just writing this

 

[AmyMay]

You are hugely attached to Frankie, which is understandable. You have invested a lot of time and effort in him - and obviously think an awful lot of him.

However, I would say goodbye to him and move home. You can't stay somewhere because of a horse you don't own, and it's clear that you desparately want to move back to Cornwall.

It will be very, very sad for you - but remember him with happy memories...........

 

[Flame_]

Erm... Can you afford to buy or at least support a loan horse if you go back home? If you can pay for a horse's keep there are lots of horses available for sale or loan and you should have no trouble finding something to suit you. If you are looking for an arrangement where you get to ride for free or a small contribution to costs that will be alot harder to come across.

IMO ideally, you'd be better to go home, leave Frankie with his owner and take on a new challenge but if you have limited finances it might be easier said than done.

 

[jenbleep]

Just had a little tear

but then I am emotional these last few days

I agree that when I say out load 'I want to stay because of a horse that I don't even own' sounds ridiculous, but really the only think keeping me sane up here is Frankie

I dread to think what I'm going to be like when I ride him for the last time

a complete wreck I suppose, and his owner isn't comfortable with emotion either

I'm going to have to get loads of photos these next few weeks.

If I go back without a job - I will be skint as I will be working probably in a bar or restaurant and will only be earning £180 a week

so no horse for me, until I get a decent job

If i go back with a job to go back to, then I would be more financially secure but wouldn't want to get a horse until I have been there a few months.

My friend rides for someone, and there are lots of decent horses up that yard but it's finding someone who will let me ride. I have been every lucky with Frankie - he is semi decent and I have ridden him for free

*sigh*

 

[Fransurrey]

Tis a toughie, but I think you'll end up having to let him go. You've taught him a lot, and he's taught YOU a lot. Now it's time to teach and learn from a new horse.

 

[zoesophie]

Sounds to me like your heart says move but your head say stay with Frankie.

I think you should go with your heart, move to where you REALLY want to live and then once you have the money find a horse on loan. In the meantime, go with your mates and see if they know of a decent horse for you to ride.

 

[jenbleep]

Perhaps me thinking 'stay with Frankie' is me living in the present and not thinking about the future and where I want to be.

More tears. God I am such a wreck, what is wrong with me??!

*roll eyes*

I know that my friend with the riding school has a 4 year old thoroughbred that is being broken in this year - I don't know what her plans for it is yet though - she normally sells all her decent ones. (She sold the love of my life when I was 17 - I was heartbroken then too! He's still my password on everything, lol)

I have E mailed her on facebook though......see what she can up with.........

I know that this isn't a massive problem but it hurts me

 

[AmyMay]

[ QUOTE ]
I know that this isn't a massive problem but it hurts me

[/ QUOTE ]

C'mere and have a hug

 

[jenbleep]

Ahh where did you get that smiley from? Thanks need a hug today!

((hugs))

*insert hug smiley here lol*